A Little Help?

MysticGuitar

MysticGuitar #1 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Reply

Uh, how old is Apple Bloom in this story?

Knight N Gale

Knight N Gale #2 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Reply

10054681
I imagine not too old considering it got entered into the foalcon group

MysticGuitar

MysticGuitar #3 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Reply

10054911
Yeah, not sure how it's foalcon and anthro. Pretty sure this story's gonna get taken down.

WhispersInTheDark

WhispersInTheDark #4 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Reply

10054681
10054911

Whoa. This is NOT foalcon! I should have mentioned that in the description, but AB is of legal age. It was never my intention for this to be seen as underage porn.

MysticGuitar

MysticGuitar #5 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Reply

10055077
You might want to get the story removed from the foalcon group. Someone else added it earlier today.

WhispersInTheDark

WhispersInTheDark #6 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Reply

10055083
I saw that, and thanks for pointing it out. I sent one of the admins there a PM, but if they don't take it out I'll delete this story.

MysticGuitar

MysticGuitar #7 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Reply

10055092
I don't think it's worth deleting. If one of the group admins doesn't want to remove it, that's on them, not you. You did your due diligence in informing them of the mistake. They're ultimately the ones responsible for maintaining their group, not you. I wouldn't sweat it.

WhispersInTheDark

WhispersInTheDark #8 · Jan 27th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Reply

10055100
It probably explains why this has gotten so many downvotes. Bad writing I can stomach, but I don't want to be seen as writing underage porn. I also contacted the admins for FimFiction, and hope to be hearing from them soon.

Thanks for your support, but if I don't hear from either admins soon, I'll have to take it down. Being seen as a writer of underage porn is not something I want to be known as.

Thepervertedeye

Thepervertedeye #9 · Mar 1st, 2020 · 3 · ·

Reply

great story! I love applecest sibling orgies! not a lot of them

Israel Yabuki

Israel Yabuki #10 · Mar 10th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Reply

10055077
In other words, she's either 18 or 19.

dirty little secret

dirty little secret #11 · May 26th, 2020 · 3 · ·

Reply

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Every mare in town turning super-slutty during heat season is a nice touch, it's fun to see their different outfits and slutty ways.
-That's just about the most expository exposition opening I've ever seen, but at least it's brief.
-Sex scenes are a bit rushed and straightforward.
-Low on emotion and detail.
-"Let's just say he's been willing to help a mare out every once in a while and leave it at that." Apple Bloom turned and headed for the door. Pinkie called after her, -- this makes it sound at first as if Apple Bloom said that, which is pretty confusing.
-It's fun how her first encounter is a dud for her. Also helps sell the realism of the story that not everything goes perfectly and also the story doesn't rush straight to the main Applecest scene.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 90/100
Allure: 89/100
Enticement: 80/100
Immersion: 85/100
Prose Quality: 90/100
Total Score: 434/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

WhispersInTheDark

WhispersInTheDark #12 · May 26th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Reply

10253008
Thank you! I'm honored to have received such relatively high scores. I know I have a problem with rushing my sex scenes; you're not the first to tell me, and it's difficult as I visualize the acts happening to myself. Gotta slow down and enjoy the moments!

Also, fixed that sentence so it's clearer.

Luckyfanisaac