• Member Since 10th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

BradyBunch


You are going to LOVE ME!

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Long ago, in a distant land beyond Equestria, Lord Tirek was once the disciple of a centaur called Sendak, who promised the possibility of extracting Equestrian magic. After Sendak was captured by his father, Tirek sets out to do what his master could not: become an unstoppable force of nature.

Before he leaves, his nervous, unambitious brother Scorpan comes to him, pleading with him to stop. In the resulting exchange, Tirek and Scorpan become more than brothers. They become master and disciple.

Bonds between brothers become broken. And Tirek will discover what Scorpan really means to him.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 20 )

Wow... after reading this I got one thing to say ‘
Why Scorpan? Why betray your brother for friendship?’

10037321
Seeing that he has a pure heart, he probably couldn't bare to watch his brother hurt innocents.
Plus, the ponies shown him genuine kindness unlike his brother.

Good stuff. Tirek's issue of FIENDship is Magic was the best entry of the series, but it always felt like issue 1 of something that never came to pass. This does a great job of further exploring the brothers' character dynamic. I do feel that it could be improved with a second chapter that shows Scorpan visiting Tirek after the latter gets sealed in Tartarus. Reversing the power dynamic like that could make for a great "bookends" effect. Still a nice little piece, though. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.

10037321
He said it himself; he never wanted power. He wanted companionship. He wanted love. And in the stifling court of King Vorak, his mother and brother were the only ones who offered anything even resembling that. Remember that Star Swirl was the pony who befriended Scorpan. That's how starved he was for affection and healthy social interaction.

10037383
Can I edit the story so I add another chapter?

10037400
Not sure myself. Best to check with Jake.

10037400

10037414

As I said in the forum, I'll allow it.

10037414
I updated it with another chapter. Take a look, if you want.

“I would rather rot in this underworld forever than live in a world where others are the source of my strength!”

Says the magic thief.

That's the greatest irony here. Tirek ended up more dependent on others than Scorpan ever was. There's barely any substance left to him on his own. Very nice addendum. Again, best of luck in the judging.

10038677
Thanks for the comments and the observations. I'm glad to see you love it.

This is beautiful! A little brother that is looking out for his big older brother. Tirek, all he wants is power and control. Nothing else. His brother on the other hand wants to keep him safe and doesn't want to see him fail again.

Man, the ending part of it reminded me of Obi Wen Kenobi talking to Anakin Skywalker, telling him how much he cared and loved him but he couldn't save him from the dark side. I hope you will do great in the Horse Word Extravaganza contest!

10040592
It was kind of obvious, wasn't it?

10037383

Good stuff. Tirek's issue of FIENDship is Magic was the best entry of the series, but it always felt like issue 1 of something that never came to pass.

Even though I never did anything with it and the rest of the comic canon, I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt this way. Of the ones I read, I actually really enjoyed Tirek's issue. I'm glad this story has a second chapter too, otherwise it would have the same pitfall.

All in all, there's a lot of strong dialogue and tense emotion in this. I'm glad the contest's first entry has started out so strong. I'll have mine up within the week, I imagine, but it's good to know there will be other enjoyable things to read. Thanks for the story, BradyBunch.

There's some delicious irony in here, and it's great to see hints of how Scorpan's codependent attitude did give way to strength of character. I'll have to check out another story by you when I can.

10040845
Thanks for taking a look! My earlier work is a bit weaker, but what the heck, everyone's work is weakest when they start out. I hope you enjoy what I have to offer, Ice Star.

10040895
Huh, I suppose it can be. Most of my best stories are my earlier works, but I suppose everyone is different.

I’ve added a few to my reading shelf, and I’ll be sure to leave a comment.

10040915
Thank you for that. I'm always happy to see new readers and new comments. It makes my day seeing someone happy because of the work I did.

Oh. Ohhh. This whole story is painfully good.

Scorpan’s heart ached. “Your pain,” the gargoyle whispered. “If you’ll allow it.”

“You’re wrong,” Scorpan insisted. “It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Even as a monster, you mean so much to me."

Wish I had family who'd say that. Tirek doesn't realize how lucky he is; shame on him.

Breaking heart aside, this was a lovely read. Well-written, with some powerful, powerful lines. Beautiful!

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