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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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yay update onward to reading
Yay! Updates!
Revised chapter 4 was pretty awesome. Sorry for not having had a chance to go through and give you feedback yet like I promised. Been busy unfortunately :/
Edit: Took a brief look at the prologue, and left a comment. Currently doing it anonymously since Google apparently wants to use my real name rather than the nickname on the account, to which they can fuck off.
I have a fear of ghosts and small spaces, so this chapter really did a number on me O.o. But nevertheless, that was some great writing, like I've come to expect!
Well that scene with the miner certainly sent a few shivers up my spine....
A NEW CHAPTER! FINALLY!
Did I seriously just type that? I guess I'm officially spoilt. I REGRET NOTHING.
Though to be fair, your beginning of summer updates were occasionally further spaced than this one.
This is the best 'sleepless Nav' line yet.
More Naga innuendo? Yes please.
Interesting. The creepy furnace thing was fucking... that was pretty messed up.
Good chapter overall, somehow much better than the past few. Maybe it's because I like where it's heading right now. Not that the past ones sucked, but this is just better somehow.
Also, one thing, a little thing I noticed recently- you don't really write sex scenes anymore. Any reason why?
whatever you did with that miner was fuckin creepy
We about to get freaky up in- Well... We already Freaky down in here. Bodies ain't even got time to hit the floor.
3268574
This chapter took so long because I was revising the other chapters. If you look at the author's note, you'll see that I completely redid chapter four, easily adding over 13k new words to it.
3268583
I reserve sex scenes for things that are new and interesting. Same old 'Nav and Kumani make the sex by putting penis is vag' will get old.
3268565
You're going to love some of the plans I have for later chapters.
So he found the penumbra mines of ponydom?
3268600
Ah, alright. That makes sense.
It's also good that you're revising the earlier chapters. People will want to read it when the earlier stuff isn't as bad. I mean, the sorriest part is even your earliest chapters are better than a lot of HiE on the site.
The thing that annoyed me the most was how Nav's words and his personality would just waver from one thing to another, not to mention him calling people lad- that always seemed weird to me. I hope you're editing that out. Unless that was for a specific purpose, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't, I'm hoping that's one of the things that you edited out.
Also, I fell in love with Rarity on Earth. I know that takes the backburner, but are you going to update it again anytime soon?
3268600 That doesn't sound pleasant O.o! Though, I'm sure I'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed this one!
I just lost it at Obama.. Good chapter as always.. I think i'll stay out of the shadows for abit, though i hate the sun.IT BURNS!
that scene with the miner was delightfully creepy. i hope it gives me a nightmare, i like nightmares. keep up the good work
3268600
Seriously? 13k? I knew it was a lot but wow... Anyway, I like what you did with it.
Yay a new elemental.
Awesome new chapter, you got to love the freak out moments. And the heat driven daughter with incest tendencies, that never get old. Nothing like a little haunting to really get things interesting.
Out of curiosity, the whole Cadence looks like Sombra's daughter thing. Any connection to something?
Hmm I'll have to reread those chapters then
Holy S*** this chapter was the most terrifying thing you've written and now I can't turn off the lights.
holy shit that was freaky, like wtf. This is a fantasy story, that was full horror, holy shit that was creepy, his reaction was wonderfuly perfect to how someone would react to that shit
12:10 in the morning... that miner!
Ah ghosts. You gotta love it when you can write it and it freaks people right the fuck out. Only way I could get that way would be playing Amnesia. Can't really get the scare from Dead Space 1-3 now, good story, not enough scary. Would love to see some more supernatural shit like what happened to the miner.
3268818
Oh, you will. And also read the new chapter four, because it has its own creepy moment.
Stop updating! You can't expect me to finish this story in a month if you keep updating!
“It’s probably been too long. So you wanna fuck around and beat our thingies together?”
“It is more pleasurable than doing nothing. I suggest you prepare your body. It’s been a while and I’ll be rough.”
I smiled and answered, “Just the way I like it.”
what the hell did i just read XD
oh yeah and that whole ghost bit, that scared the crap outta me!
God fucking damn do I hate ghosts.
Fuck. I need a do not want macro. If anything, the entirety of the mine scenes these last couple chapters were, simply put to the extremes of simple, very, very well written. Even though you started off the scenes with a pretty basic formula, I'd say it's the way they were presented and then fleshed-out is what makes them so well done.
Kudos.
.....awesome.. but with taya, hope she and spike(if it goes that way) do fine. hope she doesnt go and get a stallion cos nav prob kill em.
I wonder if Equestria does cremation.
3268863 quick question
was the chapers changed on both sites or is it just the gdoc version
I died.
Does that Naga even realize what he and Nav are saying?
3269086
Both.
3268876
I believe in you!
All I have to say with to scene with the miner is...damn.
burn it burn it with... oh um... nevermind... can we freeze it?
That miner part, I loved it. I hope you make more creepy shit happen to Nav in the future, because that scene was perfect.
And that Naga innuendo...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/259/009/64d.png
So, uh, is Nav x Taya going to happen or are you just stringing us along?
Aww yeah, elemental time.
Every time i close my eyes i see the miner...
3268737
Really? Ghosts and missing eyes is all it took to scare you?
I was waiting for this chapter for a week. I like the new chapter 4 but it mess a bit with chapter 5. you will rewrite all the chapters or just some??
I want to reread all but with the changes some parts confuse me.
I imagine a horror story where death seeks to claim the crystal ponies since they technically should of died hundreds of years ago.
Time will catch up, when you return to your world and the cycle of life and death as well...
Till the next chapter.
...Well...that chapter fucking terrified me. Thanks a lot.
Here, have a creepy image.
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/17548.jpg?1332799617
All these innuendos!
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/167657__UNOPT__.gif?1354815515
fim.413chan.net/oatmeal/src/131897982792-Implying.png
cache.ohinternet.com/images/thumb/c/c4/Implying_troll.png/618px-Implying_troll.png
YAY! Navarone identifies and quashes Mane 6 conspiring to ruin his love life. It may be doomed to failure, or not, but it's HIS and otherwise none of their concern. Kumani communicates effectively reservations and fears regarding her relationship with the party it concerns like an adult instead of harboring resentment for unexpressed needs Navarone is failing to meet. Naga gets to slap a Ponka who doesn't respect personal boundaries even if she, in the grand tradition of immaturity and dickbags everywhere, feels entitled to her actions and complains when suddenly there's someone who can competently object to their antics. Physically if need be.
In fact, Naga is the bro-est character this chapter because he is suddenly that extra barrier between the entitled Mane 6 and Navarone. Much of the suffering Navarone has experienced thus far in the story has been a result of the casual disregard of physical boundaries, and Ames doesn't tolerate that shit. No rape dungeon kidnapping of Nav by Ponka and Rority while Naga is around.
I don't understand how I keep getting caught off-guard by these updates. There's always someone saying how they just finished reading the previous chapter and suddenly the new chapter is out. Whereas I am periodically refreshing, checking to see if anything new has popped up, only to find out that a new chapter was posted 8 hours ago.
Edit: Thank you for not calling this A Fire Inside.
3269374
I'm not sure which I want more: for Ames to be totally cognizant of what they're doing or for him to one day realize what's going on and be reduced to a gibbering, angry, blushing wreck as months (or even years) of previously unrecognized innuendoes wash over him all at once. The former adds another 100 points to his "ultimate bro" card while the latter would just be flat out hysterical.
3269738
Took me a moment to realize that there was writing in her eyes. I thought there was something wrong with my own.
3269934 Tough choice but I'd probably vote for the latter, it would be too hysterical to miss.
That miner had some special eyes.
3268610
I might update RiE after I think I'm finished with the rewrite. I decided to go for three or four chapters to rewrite for every one chapter I put out. So depending on how much I actually end up choosing to redo, it might take some time.
3268720
Not really.
3268804
Not all fantasies are happy.
3269111
Neither of them do. That's the best part.
3269374
Oh, just wait until he finds a human base. Let's just say that the dead from long ago want new human company.
3269426
I've had a lot of people request it. Do people really want to see that? I could do another noncanon thing.
3269610
I don't know how since I never described him or gave him a name.
3269647
I've rewritten up to four. I'll rewrite until I feel like stopping.
3269934
Remember, he already fucked a male squid. What's accidentally seeming gay compared to that?
3269833
He won't be the only one not putting up with it. Kumani's gonna slap a bitch if they get close to her man. And Nav finally has the authority and complete apathy to start doing it himself, if it gets too bad. Before, he had to worry about silly things like laws and Celestia. Now, not so much.
3270162
Alright, cool.
3269738 Someone needs to write a creepy-pasta centering that image.