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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It seems that after residing amongst the ponies for two years Navarone is slowly succumbing to their wills. Giving up his secrets and becoming a pony because Rarity was struggling only supports my statement. I can only imagine what happened that resulted in jail time. Really surprised me there. Good chapter.
you do something and end in jail
yep True Story ^^
Bahaha, that ending is great. On a side note, how in the world could anything get him to turn into a pony and he allows it!?
1225578
That question is easily answered by another question: How truthful of a narrator is Navarone? You constantly hear him say that he's a terrible person and how he hates doing x, but next time he turns around he's helping someone or doing x. Yeah, he doesn't like being a pony. But there are certain triggers to use to get him to do just about anything. It just seems that Rarity has happened to find one.
1225598
So we have a case of an unreliable narrator. Sounds about right, humans tend to outsource negative feelings away from others to avoid hurting them. Guess Rarity just has that face he really can't say no to...or he might actually find her attra *shot*
....man your fingers must hurt.....cause...you know....this joke is over
I notice trends in stories. You won't regret it is immediately followed by regret. What could possibly go wr... HOLY SHIT MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!! SOMEPONY HELP!!!
Rainbow Dash's.... speech patterns are.... very un-Rainbow Dash-like.
I seem to be re-wording everything she says into what I think Rainbow Dash would speak like on the show.
Rainbow dash clash, I see a shit storm in the near future.
In more present context there actually is a shut storm going on in which navarone will have a hard Time escaping from
That ending scene: Wat.
Again we see him with no backbone, and no animosity towards Rarity for what she did. After what happened to him in Africa, he should hate her more, not less, and he certainly wouldn't be willing to do anything for her.
Goddammit this story pisses me off a lot. If the things that weren't complete bullshit weren't so well written I really would end up dropping this, OCD be damned.
2634776 You know people acting/reacting in that manner really isn't uncommon at all. You see there's a little something called "being passive" that will cause a person to act in the way Nav is reacting towards Rarity. I could go on with a full profile of Nav but where's the fun in that?
2771851
Same here. Nav simply made the mistake of showcasing that he was useful in ways most ponies aren't. When everyone kept saying "you really don't seem all that dangerous" he should have agreed! Should have played it off: "Yeah, I guess she botched the spell somehow". One of the stupidest thing you can do in life is let people know that you are capable of doing for them things that you don't want to do for them. To quote a relevant Bill Cosby bit:
Just pretend to be no different from the average pony - timid and nearly useless outside of your hobby or job - and you can relax into a pretty good life. And if you have a flare for the local mare fare, apparently that's all the better for you.
How... Did they manage to break any rules?
I freaking love such moments.
3050335
you know when he said that I could actually hear the clanking bars of a prison cell getting closed hahah XD
1225598 But I must say, I know you're re-writing this already, I didn't know before so I didn't bother putting it out there. (Great nightmare night chapter btw.)
I am a forgiving person, I don't hold grudges for longer than a week at most, but I must say: If someone-something would do what Rarity did to Navarone to me, even after she died of old age I would still be unable to even cast a side-ways glance on the grave.
I've read and re-read this story more times than I either can or bother to count, but Nav must be the shittiest fucking human ever, like as i've said before i've forgiven people that's punched me or insulted me because that heals, sure i've broken someone's arm once but still he started it, if you ask me (Which you probably won't since I got a lick of the Lollipop called 'Common Sense'.) Navarone really should've done the sensible thing and just've turned around, walk back to the library and lock the door.
Or stay with RD for a while, at least a month so Rarity can stop being a bitch, and if she don't well just fucking step on her face!
1225598 this chapter is going to need quite a large rewrite as well, there is a heap of Z references that need to go, some journal references and that rarity rape bit is hinted at aswell
Title: Playing fucking matchmaker and more God damn relationship advice.
"You won't regret this, I swear!" XD we are all too familiar with this phrase.
Small mistake: " Where I come, from "
3730462
A subdivision of Murphys law.
How in the holy fuck did they end up in a jail cell?
"A week later Rarity was my prison bitch."
Nope... this chapter just doesn't do it for me anymore. It relies too heavily on Nav's time incognito at the Gala and Egill just didn't make enough of an impact. Sure, he tore into Fleur and got Luna swooning, but E was a very forgettable moment... and to be perfectly honest I remember Z's part far better then I do E's even though it's been well over half a year since the last time I reread your story. I suppose this'll also serve as my thoughts on E's events too.
The main problem I have with E is that there's no mysticism involved. He shows up, he bad mouths a whore, he impresses Luna, and then that's about the end of it. There's no mysticism with it, no -all eyes on me-, and his speaking portions were really nothing special either. My two favorite parts of Z (all the events that had to do with the dancing and end of the night, and his unbreakable wit) were completely gutted with E's events.
Also, getting back to this chapter, everything is still worded out the same way as when it was still Z in the story. The impact that Z made was far more substantial then earning the ire of a raging whore (that only ever shows up like... 2 more times at the most) and I couldn't help but think "oh no1es you know he was the one that pissed off Fleur! That means... absolutely nothing..." Before I could actually feel some sympathy for Nav since Twilight actually means something to the story, and he really got into her head.
Needless to say, I firmly believe that the bonus of an additional scene of relationship building between Nav and Luna is a very weak trade off when compared to the fantastically written events that it replaced.
In conclusion, I think I remember now why I don't type when I'm tired, I seem to lack an off button or any manner of filter.
3963573
And everything about Z went out of character for Celestia. Why would she torture her student like that? And why would she just randomly trust Nav to do something like that?
3963585
Perhaps to teach loss? Her student leads a relatively sheltered life and Celestia can probably see a storm brewing on the horizon, it would be better to learn from something like this than something with more danger around. But then again *shrug* it's entirely opinion based.
Edit: this could also cover the trusting our protagonist, by getting him in on the lesson it gives a measure of him and would be easy to explain away to those effected should it go awry.
How difficult is it to build a flamethrower? A brief squirt should be enough to deter anyone.
And here I was contemplating sleep.
Silly me.
One more chapter.
My profile picture is the adequate response to the end of this chapter.
Fucking awesome.
4253068
damn i cant thumbs it up more then onceee..... soooo tireesdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfkmr
That ending! WOW!!! Makes me wonder what happened!
that ending... was tequila involved?
This story is starting to get rather boring but I have seen a chapter further in that I am more interested in so I will try to keep reading.
4858418 probably, some vodka too.
What the actual fuck just happened at the end? Curse my limited time, I must wait to read this tomorrow.
i.imgur.com/K27Ok.png
Fucking perfection!
Nice one
TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMEYS!! SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU!! AND HEAR THE LEMETATEN OF THERE WOMAN!!!!
nav could have been more of a smart ass when confronting doctor whooves for example when he had a hold of his tail!
5430447
Oh god that BT profile picture
No Shit Sherlock.
OH MY GOD, YES, THANK GOD THEY MET
not what i expected, but hey that's adorable
about time
Another well written joke
So he has become more and more hostile throughout the chapter, I'm calling it now that Nav is going to flip out and do something he regrets.
Aww... wanted more Bon Bon and Lyra action but I guess Derpy and Time Tuner can be as good too.
I gave this story another chance but seeing Navarone becoming a pushover just breaks my heart...
Truthfully speaking, she probably would have gotten two years or so, as that would be classified as sexual assault, not rape. This, along with the major sentencing gap between men and women, would have led to it being as short as, or shorter than, two years.
8527536
Keep giving it time, as bad as that sounds, there are ALOT of great moments where he chews multiple ponies out for all the shit they do to him and it is magical. Honestly there are times that I, much like the ponies, forget all the terrible shit they do and to have him drop it on them is just a truely impactful moment.
Ya gotta remember that its not living with fully capable adults to him. Its living with a bunch if toddlers that 1/3 if have the power to completly incapacitate him and force him to go along with thier shit at ANY point
8998341
No it's rape. She drugged him to force sex even though he has more than made it clear there was no consent. They even threatened to hunt him down.