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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You've griffon me a reason to live once again Mr. mustido.
How?
Holy shit, a chapter that has an actual name again
Nice chapter, I think you accidentally left the google docs comments in at the end though
You know, it just occurred to me before I opened the new chapter that the link did something amusing.
The whole gryphon festival is essentially about erotic excess. The chapter number has 69.
Not sure if I should grin at a happy accident...or narrow my eyes at the idea of it being planned for.
8852125
Ask Nav, it's HIS/HER diary. Which you shouldn't be reading!
So you know, the end of the chapter is formatted weird because
[b]
means "begin bold"; likewise for i and italics, s and strikethrough, u and underline, br and line break, and likely more that I've missed. If you want to just have the prefix, you should probably use b] instead (for all of them, not just the one) since I'm 80% sure FimFiction has no[noparse]
Is this supposed to be a part of the chapter?
Ummm I think you left some plans at the end of the chapter
I was looking for more smut dammit
Aqua really needs to be purged from existence.
Edit: What was with all that stuff at the end? Did Nav somehow cause Aqua to crash or something?
8852125
169 chapters at an average of 14,000+ words per chapter. That's how.
What's with that chapter end?
Also, I hope that Aqua burns. There is nothing I hate more than those who deprive people of free will and perpetrate slavery.
8852248
Oh my god for a second I thought you ripped all that stuff from the Google Docs log(That there is the whole comment section from the link at the top of the chapter). But the fact that this is the actual story right now is breathtaking.
I am so snipping the shirts out of that chapter ending.
Having finished the chapter, I can see we have one of those moments where Gdocs does a stupid and included the comments on the story that exist on the Gdoc page itself. It happens. Easy enough to fix.
Interesting progression of events, too. Aqua's less sane than Flo. Discord demonstrated just who is who's bitch. Nav and Twilight gradually develop their relationship even more deeply. Nav's also a terrible influence on everyone's chastity.
Ok firstly you left the Google doc comments in
Secondly, why hasn't nav made more of an attempt to warn twi? What the hell can Aqua do? She can't kill her because she's the only hope to kill Discord, and killing her would case mass chaos. She can't torture her because Twi would notice. She can't brainfuck her because, again, Twi and everyone else would notice. This seems way too contrived. Also it seems out of character for Nav to consent to being in heat in a pony body again, since that was his first traumatic rape experience of many.
See new discord would slap her s**t if aqua derailed his plans too much. I wasn't surprised by his response.... aqua giving nav to the changelings woulda been counterproductive and just wasted his time.... navs more useful free and moving forward with his plans. It sucks celestia sorta knows now who she has to eliminate to screw over navs plans. You figure she knows about fluers involvement. Shining has alot of pull with the dayguard and midnight with the nightguard so she knows the guards are comprimissed. Luna and Reginald working together are probably to strong for her to beat. No other country will aid her. I have a feeling her demon hunters are gonna have a run in with the mages tower at some point also. Taya is probably winning them over.
My bet is on Nav entering the Google bunker, closing the door behind him, and it turns out the entire bunker is a giant Faraday cage. This would cut him off from Aqua, and she'd have no way of knowing prior.
Lots of comments left over inside the chapter xD Kind of funny to read through what they all had to say about the chapter.
So this Aqua stuff has me really confused, why is she suddenly all evil? Why does she for a second think she can fool the other waters? Ice already knows shes in Nav at this point and surely the other waters aren't going to be okay with her taking a host by force are they? If the other waters don't save him its going to come down to some magical macguffin or Nav talking Aqua into leaving. Shes not going to let him go into the book and he can't tell any of the other characters that might be able to do something about her.
It kind of feels like you have written yourself into a corner with Aqua, she seems to only have taken over Nav only to make him have a few shitty days of being slightly controlled before the other waters show up and save him. Was actually expecting you to have Discord save him right at the start just to really confuse Nav.
Eh here's hoping you have some kind of plan to make this have meaning beyond just making Nav suffer a little more for the sake of suffering a little more.
8852350
Aqua can effortlessly stop Nav from asking for help and she can do it without revealing a tell. Also, see 8798402 - there are no theories on how to free Nav from Aqua that matter, Aqua-controlled Celestia auto-defeats them unless she's handled beforehand.
Nav went to Gryphus for the sole purpose of being fucked silly by gryphons while not being in control of himself (being under Twilight's control) which is perfectly congruent to being in heat. I think it's pretty dumb, though, that Nav suddenly skipped half of the fertility cycle for a biological trivia reference at "the girls syncing up." A period is the opposite of heat, that's absurd.
8852392
The Russian bunker was already a Faraday cage, the whole thing was made of steel. There are no radio signals that would follow the properties of Flo's communication abilities and not also cause immediate cell degradation through ionizing radiation to anyone even vaguely close by. Elemental communication runs on magic, and the engineers would need a way to communicate with their creations outside the bunker anyway.
The end of Aqua that I'm hoping for is for her to do something stupid like hold a verbal conversation with Celestia (now that she's apparently predisposed to such things) that gets Aqua caught by Fleur's spies in Canterlot (or Blossom's guards, etc) and they work with Watcher to assassinate her "off-panel." Then, Nav suddenly hears a scream in Gryphus and is free with nobody except Celestia even knowing he was possessed.
So is next chapter gonna be one massive clop chapter, with little to no story progression?
If so, let us know at the start so those of us who skip the clop can skip the chapter, unless you make something super important happen within the chapter. In which case, fuck you for turning this into a tinder experience where you have to sift through the dick to find the gold.
That being said, I still look forward to what Princess Gilda has in store for him, I'm surprised he didn't immediately assume it was related to the vault.
Either way, thanks for the chapter you magnificently determined and fantastic bastard.
Death to Fuhrer Aqua. May here watery butthole be pierced by a fire elementals lance, and have it be her end.
8852248
No. No it's not.
this reads super clunky literally just use they
its even plural so you don't get to be buttmad about grammar as an excuse
I really hope aqua is dumb enough to let Nav take the potion to discover who he really is. Something tells me Aqua would be purged in a very unpleasant way.
8852523
Not even whatmustido knows, lol. He's gone back and forth on that at least three times already. The problem is that he's hyped a clop-a-thon for 10 straight chapters but doesn't actually like writing it. Just use the ctrl-f markers, smut was never this story's strong point. The rest of FimFiction is there for that.
Hey, doc comments! Could be gone by the time I've posted this, I guess, but if not, you'll want to fix that, wmid.
8852469
OK see, that kind of highlights another problem I have. How the hell did Aqua infest Celestia? Celestia has ridiculously large numbers of wards on her person at all times, where the hell was her anti-water-elemental ward? There's no way she isn't paranoid enough to make one of those!
EDIT: Oh also the whole "Aqua can control Nav with no tells" thing seems kinda bullshit. What if she just spends like half an hour trying to tell Twilight about Aqua, she keeps blocking her, and the only way she can possibly make her do ANYTHING is to assume direct control? Is she really a good enough actor to fool EVERYONE? Because I don't see why Nav would not be stubborn enough to do that, and Aqua controlling Nav directly would probably be so drastically different from normal Nav that SOMEONE would notice.
leaving in the google docs comments? that's a bold strategy, let's see if it pays off.
8852562
He and I have similar tastes, I don't like clop in his story either, but I understand it happens.
I do like how he was doing it for a while, just saying it happened and moving on.
8847819
Well typing in a cellphone is kind problematic, not that I care much for for pontuatuion on the internet actually...
At this point, when Nav finally gets Aqua out of them, I hope the first thing they do is bottle up the rest of her and drop HER into that volcano. Seriously, she's a nanotech Dolores Umbridge, and that's just as terrifying as it sounds. She needs to go.
8852350
Plain and simple aqua is controlling all aspects of Nav.
8852392
Me thinks Doc. Anonymous thought ahead and designed the Googleplex Bunker to do just that to keep the mind controlling elementals from taking over the bunker. Think about it if one of them took over the possibly running bunker, it would spell the end of all hope for the modern Equestria. Alao gotta wonder if any humans are surviving down there.
Lets all hope Nav gets F-ed by a dragon and it frys Aqua.
8852350
Aqua can control everything Nav does. So she wouldn't be able to say it, because Aqua would stop her. And then punish her with immense pain, and probably control Nav for a brief period to cover up the fact she's being tortured.
Iisee story notes. Nice look at your process
I had to skip most of this chapter because of how seriously uncomfortable this development with aqua makes me, that said I'm sure it's good!
I really don't want to read this chapter because of the current development with aqua. Can someone give me a super spoiler filled short, but detailed explanation and gist of what happens in this chapter?
8852392
There needs to be an AI in that bunker that acts like the Google assistant lol...
8852927
Lots of sexual and aqua being a bitch. Also big daddy d
8852927
Uh... No? Really being picky with the story are we? If you really want to know, you'll have to read it.
8852816
...You is genius.
8852987
Better yet have it be Siri.
8852456
Remember: insanity is a factor you must consider with beings like Aqua. (Discord, Luna, Athena, etc.)
8853082
Thankyou. Lol. Either that or have spike do it. Lol
8852879
If she does that, she won't know about Aqua's plan anymore, and she will easily get back to Nav and violate her all over again.
8851493 And the depth of this story is... about the same.
So, why do you complain when I point out it's hardly quality writing?
8852392
Thats what I'm guessing. Or like, a master control switch. That was where they were developed if I recall.
8853218
Unless of course, the first thing she does upon respawning is go read her journals to get herself caught up again.
8853079
yeah I am being picky. I'm allowed to be as is my right when viewing any form of media.
I hate the concept of mind control and emotional control. Aqua is doing both and for me personally, I don't enjoy this book any more.
Really wish it wasn't written in. Will probably wait for a conclusion to this problem and then continue the book from that chapter.