“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.” - Patrick Rothfuss
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Just as Equestria transitions from two Princesses to one, the Elements of Harmony transition to a new generation of Bearers.
But as the new young defenders of Harmony take up the task ahead, they are perplexed by a deep-rooted question: if the Pillars have Stygian and the Elements have Spike, who do they have?
Written for The Discovery Young Six contest.
Now with a French translation by Acylius!
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Maybe a first-year Kirin or buffalo kohai will start admiringly tagging along with the group.
I mean, I favor Cozy Glow, personally, but the tree ain't bad. It'll even help Gallus and Silverstream with dating each other!
Should that be, "Cozy just got angrier?"
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I really liked this! I dig the bit about yaks having their own system with numbers/counting. I read once that there is some tribe in the Amazon or somewhere that doesn't really even use numbers. Like, their language doesn't have them. It's just, "a lot, more than, less than," etc. Very cool little detail.
My only criticism would be you could have drawn out Twilight little joke about leaving Spike a bit longer. Not too terribly long, but at the very least drawn out her laughter a bit.
Still, very fun, very cool!
I like it, I feel like you could even go more in depth. How the time the one time there wasn't six or seven, was the one time the Elements ended up broken.
I think Starlight would be a good guess because Stygian was the one who gathered the Pillars and I took it as the one who searched out threats, so he was in charge in a way
And now we know that when it comes to numbers yaks should be ignored.
I was able to guess the answer before the line break, but that doesn't detract from the story at all. The characterization is very authentic as usual, and I especially enjoyed Yona's "yak wisdom".
I like that counting system.
You know, this whole seven members thing...I've pretty sure no one--and I mean absolutely no one--on the show's staff ever deliberately planned that, and that it's just a happy coincidence, as they say. But now that we've noted this...you could definitely go places with this idea. Really, in terms of storytelling, we might've just cracked the surface of what we could explore on this idea and the implications thereof.
D’aww this story was adorable
Why is this better than regular old numerology?
Twilynanas ?
Heh.
Thankyou for the late night read
Wait, but if Sunset is the Spike of her group, what does that make the dog?
Ha! My immediate answer as the Astral Twilight from the Tree, and turns out that was Twilight's answer.
"Don't the mirror world girls also have Spike?"
"I mean... kind of? But he doesn't seem to do much."
"What does this Spike do?"
"Give you detention if you say that where he can hear you."
I have to side with Yona here. The pattern need not hold. And I'm amused by the yaks using the troll number system. (Four manies make a lots.)
Interesting end argument, though I'm sad I missed Twilight's reaction to meeting her sparkly counterpart. In all, interesting thought exercise. Thank you for it.
I mean technically don't the bearers have Starlight Glimmer? So maybe since she's their guidance counselor now, the Young Six can have Trixie?
A relevant Numberphile video featuring Tom Scott
Hey, TCC56! It’s me again. I’m here for some feedback, as requested.
This story is pretty ace. It knows what it wants to do, does it perfectly, and satisfies in its conclusion. But listen, I need to manage expectations here: This is also an awkward story to give feedback. What I’m about to say may accidentally come off as mean, but I’m legitimately scouring my brain trying to find a better way to put it, and I’m struggling. BUT I’ve read your stories before, so I know you know this too, so here goes:
This story isn’t trying to accomplish very much. And I usually give feedback based on what the author set out to accomplish, so... yeah. It’s tough.
At the end of the day, this feels like two discord messages expanded into a story:
Granted, you’ve added lots to these two messages. Some wrong answers, plenty of great banter, fun worldbuilding (I’m with everyone on the bit about yak numerology, that was great), and even a patented bookhorse prank. But, y’know. Conflict, stakes, perspective, arcs. The story isn’t designed to have things like that.
And I wouldn’t normally go on about stuff you weren’t going for, but it would be weird to talk about how well made your story is and then not give it first place in the contest.
But with that out of the way, now I can. Because your construction is stellar, your dialogue is some of the best of the lot, and at the end of the day, you wanted to write a cozy fanfic about headcanons, and you succeeded completely. There were just other entries that were trying for more.
But you know all this! See what I mean? Awkward. Well, I hope you at least got something out of this feedback, sparse as it is. Thank you again for submitting, this was certainly an enjoyable read. And good luck with everything in the future, man. I’m sure I’ll be reading more of you before long.
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I assure you, I don't take any of it as mean. Even if I thought it was, I'm of the school that the best kind of criticism is brutal criticism. It teaches best, I feel.
That said? You're absolutely correct. In terms of the contest this was shooting at an easy target. I almost didn't submit anything at all - this was attempt #5 after all the previous ideas collapsed in on themselves. I just wanted to get something out, and the overall narrative suffered for it. Your comment about it springing from two Discord messages is close to literally the truth. And it was absolutely unambitious and it shouldn't have won versus how many excellent entries there were.
Not every fic's destined to be a masterpiece, and this one wasn't going to be. I'm comfortable with that. What you said:
is what I tried to write, and I'm very pleased that it succeeded. Honestly, I'd feel bad if I'd beaten out amazing stuff like Hearth's Sparring Eve and Hot Cocoa Is Illegal In Yakyakistan.
But thank you for the feedback and compliments! Next go-round, we'll see if I can get something with a bit more punch to it, eh?
Interesting~
Can i do a humanish version of this story? Plz. I will give you credit.
Can i do a humanish version of this story? Plz. I will give you credit.