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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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10254229
In response to your edit- Yes Luna does think Lorraine has a responsibility to be a Luck Dragon but she's isn't taking into account Lorraine's strengths as an individual, only the strengths associated with Luck Dragons of ancient times, she expects Lorraine to take that role and she tried, Lorraine tried to the point she was getting physically unwell.
Luna forgot a very important thing, Lorraine is a mortal soul in a demigod body, she cannot nor will not ever fulfil the expectations associated with those ancient Luck Dragons. She may have had the capacity to be a Luck Dragon in her own way but not anymore.
10254373
In short, when something like an Outer God says "Hey I'm doing a thing." You don't exactly say no.
10254394
Keep reading, we explain it in the story. I hope you're enjoying it.
Yaay, got the chameleon circuit working again. Or borrowed a freinds?
Hope its a scarf. One long enough to completely wrap Smol Bug up like a kilt. Lots of coloured stripes? With a potato.
Fancy Pants, the exception that prooves the rule, the Noble Noble. Who is so noble his butler is Alfred J Pennyworth? And because this is Equestria, its not him that wears The Costume?
Squad is pretty much stable now? Or there expected to be at most a couple more to be more flexible and adaptible?
Oh dear, I was thinking something totally different story whenn I saw the shop name and its taken me until now to realise the actual name. Why does the shop proprietor have to keep reminding himself what his name is? Because he knows jack.
good stuff
10254443
Thank you!
Tamed her inner shadow? With that many issues? I call bullshit. I call so much bullshit that someone who's breaking down with stress from external pressure having absolutely no problems that they have to deal with, that they are so introspective as to realize all their flaws, accept them, understand them in a way that their reflection brings absolutely no problem. That's not even Mary Sue territory, that's absolutely inconsisten... unless it's some Nightmare shenanigan to frustrate/humiliate/"teach a lesson to" Luna, but then she's getting closer and closer to be just as evil as Luna makes her to be. And making Lorraine special still, strictly against her wishes. And Alastor's hardly blind enough not to realize that.
10254243
10254272
To be fair, this chapter answers very, very little. It mostly shows Luna sees the world in the manner a noble/highly powerful being would in a dark age of monsters and heroes. A being created by divinity to stand above mortals, above nobles, royalty and herald of night.
She was put in charge of the stars, but couldn't change them. Why? Was it some kind of test from the Nightmare? What for? Luna didn't care for the plight of sailors, but that's expected from one in her position, in such a society. Then she protected dreams and fought terrors, and no recognition came. Then she, a pony goddess in an age way before such things as racial equality or even equal rights - unless Equestria was way beyond earth on those accounts - decided to help them overcome their fears, but only ponies.
Just what in that, considering the time frame she just established, makes her a spoiled brat? It's perfectly logical for powerful beings in those circumstances - again considering Equestria's Dark Ages were like ours - to see those below them as their property. Not nice, but realistic. Hell, she helped them! She didn't just explore those below her, she tried to craft the night sky in beauty for them, tried to help them with the terrors in the night, tried to help them with their fears. And apparently got no fair praise for it.
How long did it go on? Years? Decades? Centuries? A divine ruler in a Dark Age that works beyond limitations of a mere mortal is indeed "right" to ask for recognition. And considering the time limits, either it's so little that Celestia couldn't get that much support for Luna to feel that underappreciated or it's long enough that Luna has quite the right to claim for recognition she didn't get. Those were not modern times, wealth could well be worth less than being praised. And she wasn't. Her complaint about the restrictions also makes complete sense if you frame it in another time, another mindset.
Why the heck would the Nightmare complain if she was the one to choose Luna for the job?
Not to mention that Luna still cares. She did just say she was the one that thought about the movement for stallion rights... only to apparently be ignored by Celestia. Again. To need an external source to validate her ideas. Apparently, again, because she wasn't recognized for her efforts before.
Are you sure there was no despair in her fall? Because for her to be a spoiled brat she'd have to have spent so little time in her duties that she wouldn't be saying this:
No one saves an species from a Dark Age in six months. No one's supposed to do it and expect no recognition, specially when one's from such a background. Hell, Celestia herself has shown Luna still thinks like back then through
So you guys are saying Luna, while being a Dark Ages divine ruler that was at best recognized as lesser to her sister, didn't fall to darkness due to desperation/inadequacy/frustration/stress but threw a tantrum for being a brat? That her issues with being recognized as one with her power and duties are bratty while writing an entire arc on how someone's issues with power and responsibility are justified and entirely right? What's the consistency there? Why's one character portrayed as multifaceted while to another there's an effort to make them look like a one-dimensional caricature of a humane goddess?
Look, I really think it's awesome you're writing a story with such a focus on the right to be mundane while still making a diference in the world, but the dissonance there is getting quite heavy. It looks like you're trying to fabricate a villain where there's no space for one, trying to shove into a round hole a square peg.
Edit: Sorry I didn't answer your comments just as you posted, I did see them but had no time to write right then.
10254671
We are going to explain the tamed shadow please just calm down and wait.
Constellations are a form of navigation, the phases of the moon are necessary. This is a world that has a natural balance the gods and their servants keep in check. Luna usurped that balance for her own gain.
We will explain more about the dark age later in the story. It feels like you're expecting all the answers at once. Questions are fine but please keep in mind we are writing this for fun, to tell a story about two characters who aren't really fit for the hero role being sent into a world that runs on anime logic.
Neato
10254770
The shadow thing was a commentary on the chapter, with a reasoning on a way it could happen. Sometimes it's just a comment on how the chapter felt, not a question on anything.
It did come across another dump taken on Luna though. The last chapters do have that undercurrent going on.
Yes, I know about constellations being used for navigation, when I said "Luna didn't care for the plight of sailors, but that's expected from one in her position," it was alluding to that being taken in consideration and being considered beneath her.
See, you made a "promise" when you stated that she was the creation on a goddess, Divine Ruler of a Dark Age realm and not adjusted yet to being back after a thousand years, the "promise" she'd think like one from thoseb times. Things that for us are inconceivable were commonplace then, expectations severely different for many, many facets of life. But from all the characters the only one that somewhat sees that is Celestia. The others treat her like she should think like modern times. The main characters, beset by trauma, treat her like a monster.
In the story? In the story it sounds you're building a second coming of Nightmare Moon, Luna being rebuked and diminished at every moment, having her worries dismissed, her beliefs violated by one she considered a friend, the one who gave her her "Divine birthright" taking it with a flimsy as heck justification. The fight for stallion rights having to be suggested by one outside of this world to be considered by her very sister. All fine and dandy, nice point to develop when the latest arc is about a character fighting in her own way for the right to be normal, although a bit weird due to the lack of a drama tag.
When in the comments you state that she's just a brat with power oriented you go against everything you wrote. The entire thing stops being about someone outside of their time that had and still has issues they need to surpass and becomes senseless bashing. Luna's not the erstwhile queen with a penchant to use more of her station, she's a spoiled child that should be a good girl and obey. Everyone becomes justified in everything they do against her, there's no character growth to be had, no redemption to strive for, no moment of truth. She is that which Sanguine states to be at the very least against: "I write Characters, not Caricatures."
This Luna, with what you said, is a caricature. If she's a brat that abused her power and threw a tantrum... Why is she Luna? What makes her Luna? She has nothing, because the entire promise made in the story is false. The only thing I can imagine she being is an expy for some righteous fury on a way of thinking, made shallow so the characters can feel to be entirely justified on whatever retribution they visit upon her, or in feeling good when she inevitably fails and is whisked again for a thousand years. Or maybe having a heel turn and throwing away everything she is in order to become "good".
I don't want the answers for everything, that'd ruin the entire point of following the story. I ask because you made me care, because your story entranced me, because it has potential and tells a point of view I don't remember seeing before. I ask because it hurts to see such a story have, as far as I can identify, a hole that threatens to rip the entire thing apart. I ask because after seeing you treat Lorraine as a person with her problems and issues it becomes so jarring to see you do the exact opposite to someone that you just put as central to the plot that it risks ruining the entire thing.
I ask because you made me care enough for a character that you wrote that seing you do a 180 in comments about the same character was enough motivation to spend over an hour trying to write a proper response to what you commented in what seemed to be anger and frustration. And I just want to know why you chose to do so.
Or, if I'm seeing characterization where there's none, at least tell me so I can stop caring.
10254951
I apologize if I've come off as pissy but to be clear, spoilers be damned, Luna is a brat yes, will she stay a brat? Nope. Luna wasn't purified by the elements, she was given her body back and her powers reinstated, there was no "Oh god what have I done?" moment. Not yet, Luna and The Nightmare are getting character arcs, how? I dunno yet but we've laid the groundwork.
Maybe we botched something up I don't know, we've been doing our best to explain or figure out an explanation because sometimes We don't have one and people overthink things, I've overthought things just trying to answer criticism and valid points so I am really sorry if we've confused you. Beyond the plan of "Noodle dragon character development leading up to Nightmare Night" and more, hopefully, wholesome chapters, we only have a rough plan and major plot points (Nightmare Night, Hearth's Warming, Discord and Chrysalis) planned out, even then only a rough idea.
Again I'm really sorry for the confusion but the long comments you have been leaving did feel like jabs at the story itself and I don't have the experience to tell otherwise. Luna will get more development down the line. She'll get there in the end, she's just being pissy in the meantime.
I'm working on a short to explain the whole tamed shadow thing... I should have that done soon. Right now I'm tired and upset and I'm sorry again for any confusion. I hope you can enjoy future updates and sorry if my responses have soured your opinion of myself, my boyfriend or our fanfiction.
10255001
They didn't sour my opinion of you, your boyfriend or your fanfiction. This latest post actually explained a lot, because you're not writing from a more cohesive and established background, you're pretty much writing as it goes with a vague idea of what's happening. The intermingling character arcs made it look like you were executing multiple things at once in a planed manner and not getting it quite right, instead of having a multiple focus by accident or something like it.
If they felt like jabs at the story then my bad, I was trying to offer criticism in points that I thought could be better worked, albeit criticism given with passion. I just believe that "Hey, this storyline with Luna feels wonky, is that intended?" tells nothing to the author(s), explaining why it feels so might help more to give it a real look to know if it really is a hole or is as they intended. Again, sorry if I came across as diminishing your efforts, that wasn't the intention, I just wanted to understand and if possible help.
On a completely unrelated matter I could swear you were the boyfriend and Sanguine the girlfriend.
Damn things are going wacky but also pretty well, I mean we got to see (I think) doctor
whohooves, got to meet fancy pants and his wife, oh and more spoiled brat Luna along with talking to a god, Everything is Fine10255376
Thanks for understanding, we do try to write like it make sense at least. I was genuinely worried I'd upset you. I am not used to long winded criticism posts, at all. So I just try to understand them and I feel obligated to reply because readers like this and I care about other's opinions. I'm used to just simple comments saying they like what I've written, posts like yours are a bit overwhelming.
We weren't expecting this to get as popular as it did so we've been trying to not only have fun writing it but present something people like.
Lol, I'm a girl, Sanguine's a guy. That's pretty funny actually. People think I'm a guy because of my username so that's a new one. If you go back through our 2019 blogs, you'll find posts about when we got together.
10255431
Yes, that is The 11th Doctor running a toy shop. I'm happy people are catching that.
10255943
I'm very happy you put them both in this, it's completely glorious when people get any kind of doctor who crossover correct
10256065
I am a proud Whovian, Nine, Ten and Eleven are the incarnations of The Doctor I'm most familiar with. I even have the show on boxed set for reference. I am thrilled to incorporate elements of the show into this fic.
All that stuff Lorraine mentioned about Doctor Who in the school presentation chapter was my own experience with the show, Doctor Who, especially during David Tennant's time as The Doctor, had a huge impact on me growing up, even subconsciously. I thought about it and realized the show had a bigger impact on me than just being one of my all-time favorite TV shows.
10256098
That's actually very nice to hear, I always loved the show (i did not care for some of the assistants tho) and i loved you had added the doctor and now I'm wondering if we're ever gonna see them more in story (like back in ponyville n such)
10256111
You may want to reread the Q&A Chapter.
10256117
Probably, thanks btw
Despite her faults, Luna really doesn't seem to be much at fault as you zay she is. Really, it doesn't seem like she doesn't appreciate her station as much as she thinks she can never be good enough, and that's exactly what it seems like her problem is. No matter what she does she never truly succeeds, whereas Celestia does. Such a situation would lead to either qcting out, or extreme mediocrity as they do the bare minimum to get by knowing that's the most they'll be regonized or rewarded for.
10256362
She is acting out, in a sense. Kind of like a spoiled brat that doesn't really see how she's effecting others.
Hey at least they're apologizing
Shocker
Asolem2
I am going to miss Lorraine being called a noodle.