My cousin's a kirin!?
Apple Bloom came running into the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse.
“Where you been, Apple Bloom?” Applejack said. “Breakfast’s nearly over.”
“Mail’s here!” Apple Bloom said in a sing songy voice.
“Mail!?” Applejack was washing the dishes, but she quickly turned away from that. She was hoping it was a letter from her rival turned friend turned special sompeony, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash had been gone for about a week on a “boutique expedition tour” to some faraway land, where she’d have no contact with the outside world.
It almost seemed too strange to be true when Rainbow Dash told her. “Boutique expedition tours?” Even if they existed, it sounded like something Rarity would go on rather than her rough-and-tough Wonderbolt marefriend. Applejack did suspect cheating, but had no way of knowing one way or the other—Rainbow Dash promised her that the next time they saw each other, they would spend “as much time as you want together, Jackie.” She hated the nickname Jackie. If only her eyebrow of suspicion would raise high enough to spy on whatever Rainbow Dash was doing…wherever she was.
But Rainbow Dash wouldn’t cheat on her. “Loyalty” was her element, after all. She did send letters, and she didn’t say anything about cheating on her. And if there were ever a runner-up for Honesty, it had to be that adorable blue pegasus.
Applejack fell into a long daydream, thinking about her friend turned romantic partner.
Apple Bloom sifted through the mail. “Junk mail…junk mail… ‘free life insurance’…no that’s junk mail…a letter…hey Applejack! It’s from yer Cousin Fuji, I’m so excited, I’m so excited!” Apple Bloom was already a teenager, but she did like to jump up and down like a little foal sometimes.
“Wait!” Applejack said. Cousin Fuji? Who the hay is that?
“Cousin Fuji!?” Applejack said. “Y’know who that is, Apple Bloom?”
“Not a clue,” she replied, with an innocent smile.
“Then…why did you say you were excited?”
Apple Bloom suddenly froze. “Erm…I…I guessed?”
Applejack put her hoof on her forehead. “Sometimes I just don’t understand yew, little sis.”
She asked her family if they knew this Cousin Fuji.
“Ee-nope,” Big Mac said, concentrating on his breakfast.
“I don’t think so,” Sugar Belle said.
Applejack turned to the pony sitting/dozing in the old hickory rocking chair.
“No I don’t—wait.” Granny Smith paused. “Wait. Why yes, I do remember her. She came to the Apple family reunion many, many moons ago. You may not’ve been born yet, Applejack. She lives far away—real far away land. Forgot where. But somewhere real far away. Reckon that’s why she almost never comes to see us.”
“Here’s her return address, it says here she lived somewhere in the…Yoo-Kee-Goo-Nee mountains.”
“The Yukiguni Mountains?” Sugar Belle chimed in. “Oh, I’ve heard of that place. Double Diamond said he loves to go there in the winter to ski.”
Apple Bloom read Cousin Fuji’s letter. “Says here in the letter, Cousin Fuji’s come up with a new rare apple breed that’s sweeter and stays fresher longer. She wants us to show it to us so we can grow it on the farm. Why, sis, I think we should go an’ check it out!”
“Apple Bloom, I don’t think so,” Applejack said. “It’s too dangerous to go out in the winter.”
Granny Smith, to Applejack’s surprise, was encouraging to Apple Bloom. “Aw, don’ be such a spoilsport, Applejack! In fact, we’ll all go. Be nice to get away from the farm fer a week or two!”
“Ee-yup,” Big Mac agreed.
Applejack was a little skeptical, and wondered if Granny was even well enough to go, due to her age. But she then figured that this was as good of a time as any, and if even a workaholic like Big Mac agreed—oh why not, she thought to herself.
“Aw…to hay with it. Let’s go,” Applejack said.
“Yes!” Apple Bloom cheered.
As Applejack went upstairs to freshen up, she noticed her little sister winking at her new sister-in-law. Sugar Belle didn’t wink back, but she did smile and nod a little.
Applejack didn’t think much of it and continued climbing the stairs.
Apple Bloom booked the train tickets while Applejack was busy packing with Big Mac, Sugar Belle, And Granny Smith. They brought Winona along, since there’d be nopony to take care of her while they were gone.
The train ride would’ve taken two days by normal train, but there was a “bullet train” service to Yukiguni that took only five hours. The view out the window quickly changed as they left Ponyville and gained altitude. The snow was at first wet and did not stick, but as they went along, the snow grew deeper and deeper, until the rails were surrounded by walls of snow, at least twice the height of the train.
Apple Bloom read the travel brochure. “Says here the Yukiguni Mountains are known for extreme winter sports.”
“Sounds like a place Rainbow Dash would go to,” Applejack thought out loud. She always such a daredevil, and she loved to test her limits in the most hostile of places—although she toned things down a little ever since they started dating, because, as Applejack put it, “Now you’ve got somepony to lose if ya ever do somethin’ too reckless.”
Apple Bloom continued reading, “But, it says here that in the summer, the snow melts and it turns into a warm place perfect for growin’ apples.”
“Guess that’s why this Cousin Fuji lives there.”
Applejack looked out the window. The mountains and the snow-covered trees were beautiful. Perhaps Rainbow Dash’s thirst for adventure had rubbed off on her. Big Mac decided to stay at Sweet Apple Acres after he married Sugar Belle, and that was fine for him. And Applejack thought she’d be the same—after all, she’d made that journey to Manehattan as a filly, and swore to stay on the farm and make a life for herself there. But as much as a tradition-minded pony like herself didn’t want to admit it…she had changed. Her life had changed.
It felt like her memory of the past was changing with time—instead of remembering the loneliness she felt at Aunt and Uncle Orange’s house, she remembered that thrill she felt, exploring a place she had never seen before, the promise of a new life. There was a reason why she left. There must’ve been a reason why she packed her bags and left the farm as a young filly. She stared at Granny and Big Mac sitting in the train compartment, trying to think of the reason. She couldn’t remember. But it didn’t really matter.
She didn’t mind staying at Sweet Apple Acres, but she didn’t want to stay there out of fear of change. She still loved farming apples, but she wanted to start her own life, and her own family.
That was what she told Rainbow Dash the during their last date, before Rainbow Dash went incognito on her “boutique expedition trip.”
Applejack rolled her eyes just thinking about it.
It was still morning when the train arrived at Yukiguni Station. The five of them trekked at least two miles down a long, paved road with literal walls of neatly plowed snow on either side, at least three times the height of Big Mac.
Eventually, Apple Bloom stopped at a small bulge in the snow that only vaguely resembled a roof. “This…huff…Ah think this is the address.” There was a small culvert tunnel through the snow bank which led to the front door.
Applejack knocked. The door was opened by a very familiar kirin with a toothbrush in her mouth.
This kirin didn’t even need an introduction. She’d introduce herself without you asking, and then talk more. And more. And more.
“Oh. My. Gosh. Applejack!” Autumn Blaze opened her mouth, causing the toothbrush to fall to the ground. Her mouth was still covered in toothpaste foam. It reminded Applejack of Goldie Delicious during her last hours (may she rest in peace), so she naturally declined a hug from Autumn Blaze.
Winona of course had never met Autumn Blaze, and she started barking at the unfamiliar creature. “Grr…ARF ARF ARF!”
“Shush now, Winona—you’re even drownin’ out Autumn Blaze!” Apple Bloom said with a chuckle.
“Oh my gosh Applejack, it’s so nice to see you and your family! Oh my gosh what’re you doing all the way here? Oh my gosh lemme guess. Apple Bloom gave you a letter from a distant cousin that you never heard of named Cousin Fuji, telling you about a new rare variety of apple. You didn’t really wanna go, but then everypony persuaded you to go, even Granny Smith, so you all reluctantly came up here on a train ride from Sweet Apple Acres to the address that was on the letter!?”
Applejack was dumbstruck. “That was…surprisingly accurate.” Maybe Autumn Blaze had more than one thing in common with Pinkie Pie.
Autmun Blaze started chuckling nervously. She picked up the toothbrush from the ground and put it back in her mouth. “Did that sound surprisingly accurate? Whoops erm, never mind! I, erm…I have no idea why you’re here! Total coincidence! I know nothing. Haha. Erm, I…yeah. Why don’t you come in?” Applejack saw a cold sweat falling from Autumn Blaze’s mane.
After Autumn Blaze rinsed her mouth, she said, “Can I fix you all some breakfast?” She served them hot tea, plus white rice with a brown sticky goop that looked (and smelled) like…rotten beans.
“Autumn…how long have you kept this outta the fridge?”
“It smells like shit.” Apple Bloom said.
“Apple Bloom! Watch yer language!” Sugar Belle scolded. Ever since Sugar Belle became a part of the family, she had almost become like a mother to Apple Bloom, even though she wasn’t that much older.
“Oh, it’s supposed to smell like that,” Autumn Blaze interjected. “It’s called ‘natto.’ It’s made from fermented soybeans. It smells awful but it’s like, super nutritious, it’s packed with protein, fiber, iron, vitamin B6, vitamin K2…”
“Did you say, ‘neigh-to’?” Applejack said.
“No, ‘natto’. ‘Nah’…‘to.’”
“Neigh-to?”
“Neigh-to?” Apple Bloom copied her sister.
“Neigh-to?” Granny Smith copied her granddaughters.
Big Mac? He just said, “ee-yup.”
(No! No! No, that’s not how you pronounce it, Autumn Blaze thought to herself, behind clenched teeth.)
Big Mac was brave enough to take a bite. His response is summarized as “Ee-nope-nope-nope-nope,” followed by him gagging and spitting it out the window.
Autumn Blaze took her seat at the table. She picked up the bowl with her magic and downed all the rice and “niegh-to” in a few big gulps. “Mmm! Aw, come on you all, it’s delicious! You have to try it! Try some, Applejack!” She picked up Applejack’s bowl and brought the pungent smell close to the earth pony’s nose. She beamed widely—she had a piece of natto stuck in her teeth.
The smell was about to make her pass out. She’s more ruthless than Cozy Glow, Applejack thought.
Maybe that was the reason why the other kirin condemned Autumn Blaze to isolation.
Applejack pushed the bowl of natto away. Her family followed suit. “So…you don’t live in the kirin lands anymore?” Applejack asked.
“No, but there’s plenty of kirin that moved up here, ever since the whole interspecies Harmony and Friendship stuff happened with your friend Twilight ruling—my friend’s daughter is going to the School of Friendship, you know? She’s the first kirin that’s ever gone there. But anyway, I moved up here to help my sister and—”
Applejack almost spit out her tea. “Sister? Don’t tell me, your sister…”
“My sister Fuji. Why, you know her?”
At that moment, a blue kirin that Applejack had never seen before came out the bedroom door. She waved hi to Autumn Blaze, and grabbed the bowl of natto in her hooves, downing everything in one gulp, with a big smile on her face.
Granny Smith recognized her. “Oh, that’s yer cousin Fuji. Ah remember her, clear as day.” She waved to Fuji, and she waved back.
Winona ran up to the kirin, happily wagging its tail. It leapt up and licked Cousin Fuji’s face.
Winona didn’t bark, Applejack thought. Perhaps she’s seen her before, at one of the family reunions. You mean she still recognizes her after all these years!? Well, there’s a reason why Winona was the seven-time champion of the Ponyville Dog Fair.
“Applejack, meet Fuji Apple.”
The kirin smiled and waved, silently.
“You’ll have to excuse my sister,” Autumn Blaze said. “Even after we kirin got their voices back, some of us developed psychological muteness from not having spoken for so long. My sister…is one of those kirin. But don’t worry. She’s a joy to be with, and I’m sure she’s so stoked to me meeting you, Applejack—aren’t you, Fuji?”
Fuji nodded and smiled.
“I’m sure you and Fuji and are gonna get along just great, and—wait…did someone say ‘cousin’?”
It had taken a while for the shock to register since Autumn Blaze said the words “Fuji” and “my sister” in the same sentence. A few more gears started clicking when Cousin Fuji walked out, and a few more when Autumn Blaze introduced the kirin as “Fuji.”
“Ah…ah haven’t seen her in a while but…”—she turned to Granny Smith, who nodded in confirmation—“this is mah cousin.”
Autumn Blaze’s eyes widened. “But if I’m her sister…”—she said, pointing to the blue kirin—“…and you’re her cousin—”
All the gears finally clicked in Applejack’s head. She turned from orange to pale peach. Her eyes widened, and jaw fell to the floor.
Apple Bloom covered her ears in readiness, expecting her sister to scream. Applejack was too shocked to speak. Instead she got Autumn Blaze’s operatic high-C of delight, which was loud enough to shatter two windows.
“Give her some more smelling salts.”
“I thank it’s workin’.”
“Oh, good, you’re up. Why, you gave us quite a fright there.”
“You ok, AJ? How you feelin’?”
“All right, I guess,” Applejack said, answering her little sister. “I reckon I’ll be okay.” She put her hat back on, and sat up on the sofa that they had moved her to after she collapsed.
Autumn Blaze was beaming at Applejack. “Can you believe this, AJ!? Wait can I call you AJ, since we’re basically cousins, I mean…homies! Oh my gosh, we’re TOTALLY HOMIES!” Autumn Blaze pulled Applejack and Cousin Fuji close to her and forced to jump up and down in unison.
Applejack was still numb from the shock to even come up with a coherent response. She just went with the flow and let Autumn Blaze hug her and make up jump up and down. Everything in her vision was a shaken blur. And that’s when she noticed it. She was pulled close to Cousin Fuji by Autumn Blaze’s hug, when she caught a whiff of a very familiar smell. Almost like…a locker room. But a nice locker room. It smelled like the really strong antiseptic soap used in the locker room by...
…Rainbow Dash.
It took a while for Applejack to regain her balance after that. She looked around the cottage. Not a sign of Rainbow Dash. She still couldn’t believe this was real. No. It had to be. Granny Smith was there. Apple Bloom was there. Sugar Belle was there. Big Mac? He was still saying “ee-yup.” Still in that same snowed-in cottage in some godforsaken Yoo-key-goo-nee Mountains with the smell of “neigh-to” still lingering in the room.
Yes. This was real.
“You…you are mah cousin Fuji.” She had to say it out loud for her to believe herself.
The mute kirin nodded.
“And…Autumn Blaze is yer sister.”
The kirin nodded again.
“Please tell me you’re mah cousin in law.”
The kirin shook her head.
“Tell me you’re mah cousin in law.”
She shook her head again.
A crazed, Derpy look began to appear in Applejack’s eye. “Tell me!”
She shook her head.
“Please.”
She shook her head again.
“P-pretty please?”
She shook her head.
“But that means…that means…I’m…I’m part kirin!?”
“I know right! Isn’t this so exciting, Applejack!? We’re HOMIES~!” Autumn Blaze exclaimed, with a little squee. “Like…KIRIN BUDDIES~! Don't worry, I'll show you the ropes. Teach ya some...kirin slang." She started making motions with her hooves that resembled gang signs.
It was enough a shock to find out her mother was a Pear. But to find out her cousin’s…a kirin!? How does that even work!?
“You all right, Applejack?” Big Mac asked, with genuine concern.
“Just…a little shaken. ‘Cause…this means you’re part kirin too. And you too, Apple Bloom.” Big Mac was good at taking serious news, but Apple Bloom was surprisingly calm about the situation.
“Our family’s got a whole dang lotta strange secrets, and I guess this is jus’ one other thang!” Apple Bloom said.
“Ee-yup!” Big Mac said, nodding.
The whole Apple family plus Autumn Blaze were looking at Applejack in relative silence—not intentionally staring her down, just looking at her. Applejack checked herself in the mirror, cause usually this was the part of her dream where she’d be wearing a chicken costume and everycreature would start laughing at her.
Of course, it wasn’t a dream. This was real.
While she was checking herself in the mirror, she anxiously checked her forehead, mane, and fetlocks for any…kirin vestiges. Nothing, thank Celestia.
“Ah…ah…Ah need some air,” she said, slowly standing up from the sofa, her gait unsteady.
Fuji motioned to Autumn Blaze. “Well, why don’t we take you all on a tour of the orchard?” Autumn Blaze suggested.
Autumn Blaze used her nirik form to melt the snow around the orchard. What was left was a field with rows upon rows of apple trees.
Autumn Blaze did the talking on Fuji’s behalf. “This is where all the magic happens! My sister’s been working this orchard ever since she was a filly, working tirelessly to come up with a sweet, hardy apple breed that also has a one year shelf life!” She pointed to the grove of barren trees. “Now, if you’ll bear with me and use your imagination a little…these are where the Fuji apples grow. Why they’re the sweetest, juiciest apples you’ll ever taste!”
“Sounds delicious!” Granny Smith said.
“Ee-yup!” Big Mac said.
“Gee, Applejack, Fuji’s orchard is just lovely,” Sugar Belle said. “Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a place like this to call your own?”
“Nah, home is where Ah belong,” Applejack said to her sister-in-law, trying to convince herself that that was what she really wanted.
Applejack was single and over 30 and still living with her family. There was that time that she was on a date with Rainbow Dash, and their reservation at the Tasty Treat was canceled at the last minute, so Granny Smith insisted on cooking dinner for the two of them. And everytime they tried to hold hooves or kiss, they’d hear Apple Bloom and Granny Smith mutter and giggle to themselves what a cute couple they made.
It was times like those that Applejack started to feel like she was freeloading off of her family. Perhaps they felt the same way too.
Cousin Fuji trailed near the back of the group, while Autumn Blaze led the front (at least 50 meters ahead of everyone else, since nirik fire is pretty frightening, even if it is just to clear snow). Fuji walked alongside Applejack, who was also near the back of the group.
Eventually, the two of them had lost the rest of the group, although they could still Autumn Blaze’s jubilant voice echoing in the mountains. Not that Applejack minded. It actually felt kind of nice being around…Cousin Fuji. The kirin cleared a separate path in the snow for the two of them to walk. She was remarkably athletic, effortlessly pushing banks of snow at least four times her size.
Although Applejack thought it strange that Cousin Fuji didn’t use her nirik fire to clear the snow like Autumn Blaze did, she didn’t think much of it.
Fuji stared at Applejack for a while.
Applejack chuckled nervously. “Erm…hi there, erm…Cousin Fuji.”
The kirin cocked her head stoically.
“So…you run the orchard all by yerself?”
She nodded.
“Looks pretty big. You don’t have anypo—I mean, anyone to help ya out?”
She shook her head. She pointed to her horn with her hoof.
“Oh, you use yer magic to harvest the apples?”
She nodded.
“Why, that’s mighty special. We could use a kirin like you back on the farm.”
She nodded. They stared at each other silently for a while.
Applejack decided this was as good of a time as any to ask. “So…this Fuji apple, that’s supposed to be super sweet and have a long shelf life…it’s not real, right? This is all just one big prank, innit?” she asked, chuckling.
The kirin was silent.
“Ah’ll bet yer not even my cousin,” she said with a grin. “Yer just one of Autumn Blaze’s kirin friends aren’t ya? You can tell me. Who put ya up to this? Who’re you doin’ this for, huh? Who is it?”
The kirin pointed to Applejack.
She was confused, but didn’t want to pursue it any further, since talking to Cousin Fuji was like playing a game of 20 Questions.
“Do…do ya know where we’re going, Fuji?”
The kirin nodded. A few minutes later, the cottage where they started from was in sight. There was a clear melted path to the back door. Beyond that was the road that led to the train station.
“Look, it’s nothin’ personally against ya, Fuji, but this is a pretty lousy prank. You don’t farm apples, do ya?”
The kirin shook her head.
“AHA! I knew it! Well, Ah’m gonna go get Apple Bloom and the rest, and we’re gonna skeedadle outta here before we make an embarrassment of ourselves.” She started trotting away, feeling sure of herself.
Fuji started chasing after her. Applejack sped up a little, but Cousin Fuji also sped up and caught up with her. Eventually she was galloping at breakneck rodeo speed, and Cousin Fuji still kept up! Boy, if Fuji ever started speaking, her lungs would definitely be plenty strong her voice to carry! Her agility through the meandering canyon of plowed snow was impressive. It almost reminded her of…
…Rainbow Dash.
When Cousin Fuji finally caught up to Applejack, she simply tapped her gently with her hoof, and gave her a puppy-eye look.
“You…you want me to stay?”
Fuji nodded her head.
“But…I hardly know you…does this really mean that much to ya?”
She nodded.
“This…this a’int just a little prank, is it?”
Fuji’s shook her head. Her expression was very serious. She extended her hoof, pointing to the back door of the cottage.
“Ah…Ah guess I’ll stay.”
The two of them walked toward the cottage door, but Fuji stopped midway. Applejack also stopped.
“You comin’?”
The kirin picked up her hoof. She reached out and caressed Applejack’s cheek. She could tell she was trying to be gentle, but there was a roughness to the stroke that made Applejack frown a little.
She suddenly remembered Rainbow Dash again.
She hadn’t seen her in so long.
Applejack gently pushed the kirin away. “Look, Fuji, yer a nice pon—I mean, kirin, but, I should tell ya…I have a marefriend.”
Fuji put her hoof down. She looked intently into the earth pony’s eyes.
Applejack took off her hat. “Her name’s Rainbow Dash. She’s a pegasus pony, one of the greatest fliers in the Wonderbolts. You ever heard of the Wonderbolts?”
Surprisingly, the kirin nodded her head vigorously.
“Well, anyway, Rainbow Dash an’ I been friends for years, ever since she came to Ponyville to take charge o’ the weather. I should’ve started dating her sooner.” She chuckled. “Well, sometimes she is a little brash, full of herself—well I guess I am too, but at least I’m humble ‘bout it.”
Fuji started to frown.
“Well, I guess I shouldn’t speak ill of her behind her back—you know, she’s been gone on some ‘boutique expedition tour’ for a week now.” Applejack couldn’t help but roll her eyes again. “Deep inside, I know she has a soft spot. And she’s as loyal as they come. In fact, she’s the Element of Loyalty—couldn’t ask for more than that.” Applejack sighed. “I haven’t seen her in so long. I miss her so much. I wonder how she’s doin’.”
The kirin’s eyes began to tear up. At first, Applejack thought Fuji’s eyes were just smarting from the cold wind. But she heard her breathing fast, and looking deep into her eyes…she was sobbing.
Even as Applejack’s eyes wandered, Cousin Fuji’s gaze was still fixed on her.
Fuji comforted Applejack by patting her back with her hoof.
“Aww…that’s mighty nice of ya, Fuji. Didn’t realize you cared about my relationships so much.”
Applejack and Fuji walked into the cottage, where the rest of the gang was warming up with some hot green tea that Autumn Blaze had prepared.
“You feelin’ a little better, AJ?” Apple Bloom asked her sister.
“Just this whole thing about our cousin bein’ a kirin…” she turned to Cousin Fuji. “I still got a lotta questions about…how it works. And how yer parents met, Fuji, an’…I know you don’t talk much (or at all)…but…I hope you’ll tell me more. This is all a little much fer me.” She drooped her head in resignation. Her disbelief had turned into shock which turned into total exhaustion from the thoughts that were facing in her mind…
…about her cousin.
“Just one question that’s buggin’ me real bad,” Applejack said. “How…how does it work? Having foals with a kirin and a pony.”
Autumn Blaze’s expression suddenly turned from smiling to sultry. Cousin Fuji was also smiling at Applejack. “Well, Applejack…seems like you’re awfully curious on the subject. Why don’t you find out for yourself?”
Applejack didn’t have time to think as the mute kirin began walking towards Applejack, staring deep into her eyes. She led her to a corner in the room, where there was no way out. Cold beads of sweat fell down Applejack’s flushed face. She had never been so terrified…yet so aroused…in her whole life.
“Big Mac…Apple Bloom…Granny…Sugar Belle…HHHEEELLLLPPPP!!!”
Applejack could smell the “neigh-to” in Fuji’s breath as she drew closer.
This can’t be happening.
This is my cousin.
At least I think it’s my cousin.
What…is…going…on…
“GOTCHA!”
Applejack’s eyelids shot open. Their lips did not touch. She couldn’t believe what she saw.
Rainbow Dash’s head was poking out of “Cousin Fuji’s” supposed “body.”
“W…what!?”
The blue pegasus unzipped the kirin costume and threw it to the floor.
Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash?
How could it be!?
She did a double take.
She did a triple take.
She checked each part of the blue pony’s body.
She counted the colors on the mane and tail.
She checked for the cutie mark.
She gazed deep into her rose-pink eyes…
Yes.
It was her.
At last.
Oh, how she missed that little rascal of hers.
Winona ran up to Rainbow Dash, laughing and wagging her tail happily. The kirin costume was laying on the ground, unzipped. The blue pegasus was also on the ground laughing her tail off, saying “Oh, man, AJ, you should see the look on your face right now…! Haa haa haa~!” She was laughing at her, but at least she was laughing. Applejack loved to hear Rainbow Dash’s laugh.
And as if it couldn’t get even more twisted, everyone shouted in unison, “SURPRISE!”
Applejack turned to face her family. “Y’mean…y’all were in on it too?”
“Course we were!” Apple Bloom beamed. “It was Rainbow Dash’s idea, but we all chipped in!”
Granny Smith came up with the idea of a fake “cousin Fuji.” Apple Bloom came up with the idea of the fake letter. Sugar Belle came up with sending her to the Yukiguni Mountains. Autumn Blaze came up with the kirin disguise.
Big Mac…? He just said “ee-yup.”
“So…you’re sayin’…there’s no Cousin Fuji?”
Rainbow Dash gave her marefriend a gentle smile. “Maybe there’s no Cousin Fuji. But I’m here, and…”
“The Fuji apple?”
Rainbow Dash took out one from her saddlebag. “I spent the last week looking for the kirin family that grows the Fuji apple, and…I found out they were putting up their orchard for sale. So…I hope you’re okay with this…but…I bought it for us.”
“You bought us some Fuji apples?”
“No…I…I bought the Fuji apple orchard.”
“You bought the orchard!?”
“Yeah!”
“This orchard…?”
“Yep! It’s all ours!” Rainbow Dash said, with a huge toothy smile.
She looked at her family to make sure this wasn’t another prank.
“She bought it,” Granny Smith said.
“Ee-yup,” Big Mac said.
“You told me that you wanted an orchard of your own, AJ. So after I talked it over with your family…we decided to surprise you with this. So now we can start our life. Together. But I mean, I had to throw in a little prank in there. You know me.”
“Little” prank, sure. Applejack rolled her eyes.
Applejack took a bite of the Fuji apple that Rainbow Dash gave her. The loud “crunch” could be heard in the silence.
“Well…how is it?”
Applejack’s smile and tears said it all.
(Then again, anything tasted better after eating Autumn Blaze’s “niegh-to” beans.)
Rainbow Dash turned serious. “Applejack…though it was funny pranking you, if there’s one mistake I made, it’s that I left you alone for so long. And…it made me realize that I don’t wanna spend another day without you anymore.”
“…me too,” Applejack said.
Rainbow Dash chuckled softly—uncharacteristic of her brash personality. Her blue face was furiously blushing. “That’s good. That’s good. Cause…here’s the real surprise.”
And with that, Applejack saw her beautiful marefriend get down on one knee. The earth pony was jittering, out of excitement she wasn’t sure. As if trying to check her sanity, she turned briefly to her left, looking out the window of the cottage. A light snow had begun to fall. To her right, two other blue pegasi came out of hiding in the powder room. She turned back to Rainbow Dash. She saw the tiny black box in Dash’s hoof, and she was opening it…
This was it.
This was real. Everycreature had gathered in that little cottage. Her family, Autumn Blaze, and now Rainbow Dash’s parents.
“Applejack…will you marry me?”
Applejack paused. Everycreature stared at her with anticipation.
She took off her hat, and sighed deeply, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. “Well, Rainbow Dash, hoo-wee, I dunno what to say,” she began. “That was a hay of a lot just fer a proposal—but Ah should’ve figured you’d be the kind of pony to do that kind of thing.
“Ah’m not the best at sayin’ my feelings, as you know. There’s no doubtin’ I like you very much, ever since we first met, from when we ran the leaves twelve years ago, from when we played buckball six years ago, up till now. I’ll always hold ya in a high regard, Rainbow Dash. With that bein’ said…you know I’m not one to lie.”
Rainbow Dash’s ears drooped in resignation. She dropped the wedding band to the floor. “You…you don’t want me.”
Everycreature in the room grew silent. Big Mac held Sugar Belle close, and they sighed. Apple Bloom’s big round eyes were quivering like jelly. Rainbow Dash’s parents looked at each other with concern.
Applejack silently picked up the wedding band from the floor. She took a deep breath. “Gotcha," she muttered.
Rainbow Dash was the first to crack a smile.
Applejack leapt into her fiancé’s embrace. “Course I’ll marry you, ya little rascal!” Applejack said, tousling her rainbow mane.
She looked into Dash’s eyes. They were the same rose-colored eyes that “Cousin Fuji” had. The pearls of softness hiding under that rough exterior. “I love you, Rainbow Dash.”
“I love you too, Applejack.”
“Wait,” Applejack let go partially. “Dashie, that part where Autumn Blaze served the ‘neigh-to’…please tell me that was part of the prank too.”
“Nope,” Rainbow Dash replied. “They started serving it at the Wonderbolt mess hall cause it’s super healthy, and now I really like it. I love natto, just like Autumn Blaze! I make it for breakfast every morning!”
Applejack bit her lip. “That’s one thing we’re gonna have to change once we get married…” she mumbled to herself, resisting the urge to gag.
Rainbow Dash secretly winked to Autumn Blaze.
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I like the icon it's cute lol
Oh god... Blaze has caught a terrible case of The Ponk. Call a doctor, and then call a priest.
10026362
Image credit Derpibooru 1827580.
10026372
Neat
Why was Applejack so against being related to kirins? Given she's in a relationship with a pegasus that seems pretty hypocritical.
10026473
Good point, but I guess my argument would be that pegasi and earth ponies are both ponies (same species) while kirin are a different species.
10026478
They're at least half-pony, though, aren't they?
10026496
...I guess you're right, Cousin Fuji would be "half pony". But Cousin Fuji doesn't really exist so it doesn't matter one way or the other.
10026496
Possibly one-quarter pony.
Fuji, if she had actually existed, could have been Applejack's half-cousin from her late grandfather's potential first marriage to a kirin mare. Or, perhaps Fuji could have been Applejack's second cousin. Both these possibilities are hinted by the fact that Granny Smith acknowledges Fuji as Applejack's cousin, but does not acknowledge Fuji as her own granddaughter.
Haha, the ending is so funny
Little note: "hooey" is when something is untrue. It's akin to calling B.S. "Hoo-wee" is a cry of excitement. So AJ should have said "hoo-wee, I don't know what to say."
It's not the destination, it's the journey. This was gentle and amusing.
I don't really like Appledash at all (too much RL experience with those sorts of relationships) but this was still a good story.
10027168
Fixed.
So... Cousin Fuji isn't real...
OR IS SHE???
10028972
Sequel, perhaps...?
>appledash
why is it that all the good premises have garbage ships attached to them
Gaslighting someone is kinda harsh in prank terms.
10107126
Guess Rainbow Dash didn't learn her lesson.
thumbs.gfycat.com/RealQualifiedGalapagospenguin-size_restricted.gif
Rainbow, you troll!
*somepony
*She’s
*healthy
10026478
I mean have you read the DNA test series here on fimfiction where it's theorized that kirins are a subspecies of unicorns
10582545
It tastes worse than heath.
11055695
Thanks, fixed. What is heath, exactly...?
11055707
It's kind of ambiguous, isn't it? https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/heath
But I guess eating heath would probably be either eating dirt, or a combination of dirt and unpalatable plants and maybe some pebbles and rocks, or eating the unpalatable plant.
But please thank LightningStrike34 instead of me! The typo note originates with them; I only made a joke about it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/458271/my-cousins-a-kirin#comment/11055695
10582545
(I immediately added:)
Also, after your story that included a movie called "Trees of the Everfree," my guess was you might already know what a heath was (even if you don't know it by that name) because I thought your depiction of the land use history of the Everfree fit upland areas of the U.K. that have had heathlands.So I guess it might taste like a bog? :-)