Ya got my attention, that's for sure.

Will report back when I get a chance to actually read it...

I’m real thankful for that mate, hope you enjoy it.

10287647
Haven’t read the story yet, but would you believe me if I said that I was thinking of writing one story that would be almost identical to premise of this one? The events wouldn’t be the same, but the overall idea is practically the same.

Really good story
good job

Hmm... That tag salad is making me hesitant.

Not bad, not great. I cant wait to see where you go with this.

I'm digging this, like a Deathclaw digging my innards my last play-through.

10287866
Too much detail.

10288039
Never enough detail.

10288041
Fair enough.

DOOOM DOOOOOOOM DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations on hitting the top of the featured list.

"Look out World, cause your newest Apex predator has just arrived!"

I can imagine a deathclaw saying that

now we need a story of a swarm of cazador in equestria

10288239

Thanks mate, though I couldn’t have done without folks like you giving my story a chance. I’m real thankful for that.

10288380
You know, that’s not a bad idea.
Maybe...
I‘ll definitely be losing some sleep over that tonight knightmarepony, thank you kindly.

Well that's a heck of a start, let's see where you go from here.

You have my attention. My only hope in the future is little diablo is somewhere in this world. Most likely as something else.

10287705
Honestly mate, I would.
After all, clever minds think alike and all that.

10288165
Ah, I see your a man of culture as well.
Glad someone managed to get my little reference in the beginning.

Tracked

Lmao what is this

10288380
No, just no. Burn them with atomic fire a second time with a mini nuke.
God I hate those things.

10288422
10288380
Sweet Celestia, no!
It would be the end of sapient life on Equestria!

I really don't know why, but your story reminded me of this gem.

10288891
The second worst creature was the feral ghoul Reaver.
First time I encountered one I used all my bullets and stimpacks, med x (addiction), psycho (addiction), alcohol (addiction), and was fighting for the fact it was going down for being a pain in my flank before I dropped a mine and took it out.

Crippled in three limbs, concussion, almost no health, and alone in the tunnels I got out and survived too tell the tale.

Please, author, have a swarm of cazadores fight a reaver and they can both die while deathclaw hides, quivering in fear of either surviving and coming after him. (Dream sequence?)

Good start.
Things:
1) At the start you state lizards don't have eyelids and can stare down death, then the next moment the lizard blinks.
2) Don't use personal clarification (not that kind of doggy style) because it breaks the immersion. Use a different phrase, such as "He had to crawl low on his hands and the tips of his foot claws, barely keeping his knees of the floor."
3) Don't write in roars, loud shouts, specific noises, such as *clunk*, or sound effects. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
Breaks the immersion.
You're showing, not telling. The ideal moment is when you describe something and let the reader make it their own.
"He screamed and roared with his monstrous voice; the ground seemed to tremble, loose rocks and dust from above fell onto him as the vicious roar reverberated through the cavern."

4) Keep writing for yourself. Don't let someone change your story based on their likes and hates. I've offered advice for your prose, not a change to the story.

Write on, fellow author!

Update: sentient pet lizard is confusing at this point.

Has he tried talking yet? Describe it when he's looking into the water.
5) Keep in mind time. New authors tend to use time arbitrarily and can say minutes when seconds should be used.

Example not related to this story.
"They looked at one another for ten minutes before she spoke..."

Think about looking at someone for ten minutes doing nothing before doing something.

Would you really do that?
Would the characters in your world do that?
Just keep in mind. :)
Also, grammar and spell check.
Celestia likes to eat desert?

A deathclaw in equestria..... Have god rest they souls

Even at the end of the world you can rely on a Fallout game having bugs.

I have to wonder what kind of Deathclaw he is? There are the fallout 2 intelligence Deathclaws that could speak. Something he might relearn to do later given his different body. Fallout 4 had the chameleon type.

Given he was playing a new Vegas game is he a standard or an Alpha?

Of course any type of Deathclaw is still a Deathclaw!

10289303
from the picture its a Mythic deathclaw

Princess of sweets

Beware, o cake. Thou hast ascended the table of... Cakeflanks the Devourer!

Thy remaining time in this world be mighty short.

"How strange, I...suddenly lost my appetite."

*gasp!*

*shock!*

An unexpected reprieve! Flee, thou foolish tongue pleaser! Escape whilst thou canst!

I'm so living for this!!!! I LOVE DEATHCLAWS!!! HECK YEAH!!!! YOU WROTE IT REALLY AWESOMELY ON TOP OF THAT!!!!!

Deathclaw displaced? Neat, also rip Diablo. May he be causing havoc in lizard hell.

And not like your average 'damn, what did I do last night?' kinda feeling-like-shit feeling, but more along the lines of 'how am I even functioning?' kinda feeling. It was the kind of feeling where upon waking up, literally everything in the body had to be rebooted, senses in all (just to make sure that you were actually alive and all that).

Sounds like he ragdolled harder than the robots in Big Town. Often seen the Protectron sling shotting itself to parts unknown. Equestria is a possibility for the impact site.

10289114
Dream? More like a damn nightmare.

I'll definitely be considering this potential bed-wetter of a sequence.

Thank you kindly for it mate!

10289201

Hot damn! Now these are the kinds of pointers I was hoping for.

While I’ll have to consider some of this stuff for later chapters, I really appreciate the help nonetheless.

I thank you kindly, sir.

10290439 That's the kind of pointers I wish I got. Most people don't even comment on my stories. I just go with what feels right. Somehow, it works. Either way, great work, man.

For some reason, I strangely have thoughts where Richard befriends or is on friendly terms with any reptilian creatures - except maybe dragons and other apex predators - I just imagine having a small horde of iguanas and lizards following him, blepping at anything in sight.

10289114
In my own personal experience, I have faced deathclaws before with weaker weapons or at lower levels and I manage to kill them after maybe two to three retries after some carefully planning... It's the squirrely ones or enemies that come in droves that really piss me off or just induce fear - cazadores, ghouls, and worse suicide super mutants... so many damn explosions and screaming

There's going to be a response saying, "how DARE you ruined her majesties appetite!" And that's not gonna be me.

"Look out World, cause your newest Apex predator has just arrived!"

I imagine little yellow-pink pegasus riding Richard Deathclaw for shopping.

10301316
That would be adorable and badass. Is there a word for that?

10294024
... Oh my goddess.

"How strange, I...suddenly lost my appetite."

NANI!?

CELLY NOT EATTING CAKE!?

HERESY!!

media1.tenor.com/images/0af6bd247117c71b9c7c74472639a338/tenor.gif?itemid=9829547

Love this story.

10368556
Badorable?

Sooooo.... which version of Deathclaw is he? Fallout 4? 3? 1 and 2? Or is he pre-patch New Vegas? You know, the ones (from personal experience) that can take a MIRV to the face and be slightly annoyed.

And also, I realize it would probably take a lot of work for him, but there is a Deathclaw (in game 1 or 2, forget which) that can talk, so he should be able to eventually.

11637828
Eh, NV Queen in canyon was meant as a plot adjuster (so you can't take a short route). After dozens of players had shown you can kinda skip her, taking scenic routes around, she was nerfed.