Yes, I'm Positive It'll End Well. Have A Little Faith, Dear Brony.
You awoke unceremoniously to a glaring sunbeam hitting your face. The shutters to your window were wide open, and so you quietly cursed it. Darn sun, you wanted more sleep. You made a mental note to close the shutters tomorrow night. For now, you fancied yourself a shower.
Just before you could do so, there was a knock at the door so regal that it would drink tea with its pinkie up if it could.
"Good morning, my otherworldly guest! Did you sleep well?" Celestia asked, voice as warm and motherly as always.
"Nnnnueeeh... gowway." You didn't want to be out of bed just yet.
You could hear her chuckle behind the door. "My apologies, I suppose you are used to more sleep. Please come out when you're ready. It's time you got aquainted with everypony." She paused. "Oh, but just so you know, I won't wake you up. However, that won't stop my sister, just remember that." You could swear she was wearing a huge shit eating grin at that statement.
"Hmmmkay, whatever." You mumbled, lazily shutting your eyes. You were concerend about Luna, but you were too tired to do anything about it.
A few seconds later, you heard her trot away from the door. And for a while, you were at peace.
That is, until you felt yourself being lifted up off the bed by an invisible... well, it was hard to describe this aura. It wasn't Celestia's, that was for sure. It was cool, it was relaxing, it was like going outside during an autumn summers night and smelling the air. It was a soft caress, but with a hint of... mischief in it...
Oh, and it was dark blue. You knew who it was after that.
"Lllluna! Lemme lone!" You groaned, definitely not conscious enough to confront her directly.
"Oh fine." Her unmistakable voice sighed. You were plopped back down on the bed, then felt her snout nuzzle your neck, causing you to visibly tense up. "But we have things to do today. You should think about getting up soon, otherwise you'll miss out on what we have planned for us!~"
That did it, an activity with Princess Luna!? Screw sleep. You sprang out of bed and bounced up and down like a little school filly. "Yes yes yes yes yes! What are we doing!? C'mon tell me I gotta know I gotta know!"
"Calm thy pectoral muscles, thou shalt find out soon enough." Luna assured. "Now, take a shower, thou smells of elderberries."
"What? I don't know what you-" You take a sniff of your pony armpit out of curiosity,and retch. Elderberries must suck. "Alright, I'll take a shower. Just go, I don't want you watching me."
"Oh, trust us. Thou could not stop us from watching if thou tried." She gave a mischievous grin, and backed out of the room dramatically, wings spread for extra intimidation. Just before the exit, she bumped into the wall by your door.
"Hehe, oops..." She murmured, blushing and filling you with massive levels of D'AWWW!
After she shut the door with her magic, you shook the cobwebs from your head and headed to the bathroom.
Stepping into the bathroom, you noticed that it contained the basic necessities any bathroom would have on earth. It had a pristine white shower, a glistening tub, a marble sink (with faucets sporting a gold finish) and a silver finish towel rack complete with an array of white towels of various sizes. This was a very nice bathroom. Far better than any on earth you have ever used.
Pushing apart the curtain with your hoof, you stepped inside the shower. The faucet to the shower was in the shape of a hoof print. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that you needed to press your hoof into the slot and twist it to turn the shower on. However, you were met with the worst and almost unavoidable evil pertaining to the shower...
...the Inevitable and Unwelcome Blast of Cold Water from Tartarus.™
"AAGH! S-S-S-SO C-C-C-C-COLD!" You shouted, leaping out of the shower, shivering and waiting for the water to warm up like you usually did on earth after you scrambled out of the shower in a sensory shock frenzy.
You waited for a while, occasionally reaching a hoof out to test the water, only to find it not quite at that magic temperature just yet. Who did this shower think it was? Prancing about in it's imaginary shower... world, taunting you with water of unacceptable temperatures. UNACCEPTABLE!
Well, after an eternity, the water reached a bearable temperature and you stepped in, letting the increasingly hot water cleanse your fur coat and get the grease out of your mane.
Oh yeah, that’s nice... You mused to yourself.
With the typical routine of rinse, lather, scrub, rinse, turn off water, and dry done, you opened the door and started to mosey on out of your little apartment. You started trotting down the hall you went last night, knowing that it would lead you to the kitchen. It was a rather uneventful walk until you were blown ahead in the hallway after a certain blue princess decided to give you the traditional 'Royal Canterlot 'Good Morning.™'
"GOOD MORROW, MY OTHERWORLDLY ACQUAINTANCE!!" The voice bellowed, sending you flying across the room... again.
"Goddammit, Luna." You groaned, peeling yourself off the wall and thanking this world for having cartoon physics. She approached you and wrapped a wing around you in a small hug.
"Good morning, brony. I trust thou art ready for breakfast?" Your heart melted from her touch, and it diffused most of your anger. However, you made a mental note to get her back for that one later.
"Mornin' Luna. I could use some breakfast after last night. I didn't get to eat much you know." You nuzzled her just to assure her you weren't bitter about it. Normally, this would be a rather ballsy move, but that didn't matter. It was Luna.
"We are sorry about that, we normally are a bit cautious around new ponies. However you seem to be... different." She took the wing off your shoulder and trotted alongside you to the breakfast hall.
"It's because I'm a human, ain't it?"
"Certainly, it's part of it. Also, we are curious as to how different you are to other ponies. So far, you're a pleasant change of pace. Most ponies are scared or nervous when they meet me. It's good to finally meet a pony with an ounce of sense."
"Well yeah, I can understand why they'd be intimidated by-"
You were given the most crushed and heart-wrenching of stares. Fluttershy ain't got nothing on that shit.
"-By your amazing power and prowess! Haha, nothing wrong there..." Oh god, please stop the stare. It's killing me from the inside out. You think to yourself as those cute teal eyes bombard you with cute.
Her face lightens up and tightens into a smirk. "Nice save, bud."
What!? She used her own cuteness against me... ON PURPOSE!?!? I will destroy her!
"So tell me, are you excited as to what recreational activities we have planned for thou?"
Alright, she can be spared. For now.
"You're getting me worked up, so it better be something." You responded. "Hey, look! Breakfast hall is just ahead. Let's get some food before we start."
"That was the plan anyway." She runs a hoof through her mane briefly, brushing it out of her eyes.
You two had pancakes and eggs with lots of syrup, which was amusing to know that they had that in Equestria. Then again, being a cartoon, they would have many familiar elements. Heheh... elements. Get it? Because of the elements of harmon-nevermind, you guys are impossible.
Breakfast was over surprisingly quick, and you two were talking to Celestia about what you were going to do today.
"Luna, he needs to get more acquainted with the townsfolk." Celestia insisted. "If not, then he won't be able to properly make friends. That's very important if he's going to stay here."
"But Tia~ I don't ever have somepony to hang out with. Can I borrow him? Pwease?" She gave her sister the puppy dog eyes of unfathomable cuteness.
Celestia looked deep into her eyes. "No." Fucking ice cold.
"Awwww..." Luna hung her head low. "What about after you're done with him?"
"He's fair game then, you can have at him." Celestia assured with a wink.
Both of you perked up, ears on end. You even noticed your tail was wagging. Did ponies wag their tales when they were happy? It doesn't matter, you were a tail-wagger. Screw those other non-waggers.
"But until then, we best be going. Come along, my little brony." Celestia called out to you.
"Alright, it was cute the first time but now it's getting old." You groaned.
"Oh hush, I will call you what I please." Celestia insisted.
"Fine. But I get to call you Tia." You retorted, pouting mildly.
"Alright, I don't care what you call me."
"Okay!" You paused for a minute.
She held her gaze upon you, as if expecting you to say something.
"...This isn't nearly as satisfying as I wanted it to be." You sighed.
"Life is full of disappointments..." Celestia looked off to the distance and sighed as well. Wait... was Celestia having feels?
"Hey, no need to be sad. Let's just get going, okay?" You placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder.
She turned to you, a much more relaxed look on her face. "Yes, let's go. It's time you met the Elements of harmony, whom I'm sure you're excited to meet."
You had a squeegasm on the spot. Celestia rolled her eyes and used her magic to place your semi-conscious body in the carriage you two were taking.
-*~*-
The carriage ride was bouncy and turbulent, but not because of the high wind currents buffeting the pegasi, this was from you bouncing off the walls of the carriage, a half-worried and half-bemused Celestia watching you with cautious eyes.
"Omigoshomigoshmoigosh I can't believe I'm going to meet the Elements of Harmony omigoshomigoooshhh!!!" You squee'd, threatening to take the carriage down with your hyper energy.
Celestia, having had enough of your shit, caught you in midair with her magic and placed you gently on the seat of the carriage next to her. "Look, if you're going to be like this then I'm going to turn this carriage around immediately."
"Turn the carriage arroouund, Love to hang with Lunaaa~!"
"Did you really take what I just said and make a parody of 'Turn the Beat Around' with it?" She asked, completely dumbstruck.
"How do you know about that song?" You asked, equally befuddled.
"Well, I heard from the multiverse grapevine about the brony fandom, I mean, I need to know about dimensions that know of our own... and after that I was pretty curious about human culture and... I have to say, you guys are pretty... well... messed up, for lack of a better term."
"Yeah we are, why haven't you kicked me out yet?"
"Because I believe every living thing has good in it, and so as long as you behave yourself, you get to continue our little deal." Celestia nodded slightly.
"Alright, that seem fair..." You paused, then asked her, "Are we there yet?"
"No." Replied Celestia, looking out the window.
"Oh." You looked down, ears lowered. After a short pause, you opened your mouth again. "How 'bout now?"
"Don't even start that." Celestia looked at you with a dead serious expression.
"I'm sorry, I'm just so boooored." You pawed at the ground with your hoof.
"Well then think of how you're going to talk to the Elements of Harmony. You don't want to make a bad impression, do you?" Celestia gave you a wry smile.
You didn't say a word, you were too busy doing what she told you. Why didn't you think of that before?
Celestia looked at your lost in thought face and leaned back. Whew, finally. She thought.
-*~*-
The carriage landed at the edge of Ponyville, where a little fanfare was held. She snapped you out of your trance and pointed out that you were there.
"If this is just a casual visit, why are the townsfolk so worked up?" You asked.
"My little brony, Princess Celestia does not simply pay a 'casual visit' to a town." She said.
She used your own joke against you, clever gal.
"Announcing the arrival of Princess Celestia!" A royal guard called out, signifying the guards at the beginning of the carriage to salute their wings over the hood of the carriage as Celestia stepped out regally, spreading her big-ass magestic wings like a boss. You saw her cast a glance behind to you and give you a wink. That must be your cue. You quietly stepped out of the carriage, of course most of the ponies didn't really notice you at first. Everypony payed attention to Celestia, as was to be expected. That is, until you saw six certain mares cast a glance at you...
"Hey, who's that stallion back there?" The purple mare none other than Twilight Sparkle asked.
The fanfare ended, everyone was dead silent. They slowly turned to you, and you began to quietly shrink away back into the cairrage, not exactly used to being in the spotlight.
"Oh, that's one of my earth pony representatives here today. Please, feel free to meet and greet with him too." Celestia said, as if she'd been rehearsing that.
The crowd looked satisfied with that explanation and gave you a warm but kind of half-arsed greeting. Oh well, it wasn't that big of a deal who you were. Celestia is good at coming up with excuses. Then again, she had over a thousand years of practice after all.
"Well howdy partner!" Applejack said as she trotted up to you followed by the rest of the mane six.
This was it, the moment every brony dreams of and writes about in their second-rate fanfictions. You were about to meet the mane six themselves, and whatever you did now would affect how they thought of you for the rest of your life.
However, when the opportunity to hug ponies is wide open, all self control goes to shit. You tackle hugged Applejack, because that was something pretty much every brony wants to do.
“ERMAHGERD! ERPLEJERK!” You squee’d, making NO effort to contain your excitement.
“Git off me, ya overexcited varmit!” Applejack immediately pushed you off.
Regaining some self control, you then apologized profusely. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m soo sooo sorry, I just get really excited with meeting new people is all.” You hoped that was enough.
Applejack gave you a suspicious glance. “Well, okay. I think I can let that one slide. Just warn me next time, wouldja?” She winked at you. The element of honesty winked at you!
Next, Pinkie and Twilight Sparkle approached you, and this time Pinkie Pie turned the tables and tackle-hugged you. Twilight smiled from behind and shook her head at Pinkie’s usual antics.
“Ohmygosh! Finally a new pony that likes hugs as much as I do! I can’t believe it, I never thought I’d see the day. What’s your name? Mine’s Pinkie Pie and I like to throw parties and bake cupcakes and have lots of fun with my friends ALL the time. In fact, you are new here aren’t you? That must mean that you don’t have any friends!” Without any hesitation, she let out a loud gasp. “That must mean you’re lonely here! That’s terrible. I need to throw you a welcoming party and invite everypony in ponyville! There will be cake and balloons and streamers and cake and party games like pin the tail on the pony and did I mention cake?!?” She took in a deep breath of air, then let go of you. “Meet me at sugarcube corner this evening!”
“Pinkie!” Twilight interjected, stomping on her silly friends tail before she could dash off. “He’s a temporary guest, I doubt he has time for a party.”
“I’m afraid not, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be saved for another day.” Celestia inerrupted with a wink.
You and Pinkie Pie both grew abnormally large grins. It felt weird, being able to stretch your normal limits of elasticity and have cartoon physics instead of Newtonian physics.
Next was Rarity and Rainbow Dash, who came over with Rarity cantering over with her usual grace. On the other hand, Rainbow Dash rocketed forward and landed square in front of you, then held out her hoof for you to shake.
“Hey, name’s Rainbow Dash. Fastest flyer in all Equestria.” She boasted with her usual charming ego.
“And I am Rarity, I design clothes here in my... humble abode.” She giggled, gesturing to Carousel boutique, which was in view.
You knew this of course, but they would probably freak if you told them.
“Nice to meet you two, I’m an earth pony representative that is following Celestia around today under the matter of er... important executive business and whatnot.” Boy, you were a terrible liar.
"That's... nice..." Rarity said politely. It seemed she wasn't sure you were telling the truth, but did not care anyway. "So, have you been to Canterlot Castle? Is it nice there? Is the royal garden as beautiful as ever? How is Princess Luna?" She started peppering you with questions.
You didn't really get a good look at the royal garden when you were given the tour, but you remember it from the show. It was lush, green, spring-themed, and always had a variety of woodland creatures residing there.
"Yeah, that's where my temporary lodging is, and the royal garden is just fine, and Princess Luna is... Princess Luna."
Rarity stared at you for a minute.
"...That's a good thing." You added.
"Thought so, just checking.~" She sang.
Just then, Fluttershy approached you.
"Oh, um... hello there! I'm Fluttershy, I take care of woodland creatures over in my cottage. It's a nice day outside isn't it? O-oh but if you're having a bad day then I apologize for bragging about how much better my day was than yours. I'm so sorry, Rarity and Twilight told me to be more outgoing but I'm terrible at this sort of small talk and I-ah!"
You cut her off with a hug. It's Fluttershy! How can you not hug? In your head, you crossed 'hug Fluttershy' off your bucket list.
"Oh...m-my..." She blushed, obviously not used to such bold actions.
"It's okay Fluttershy... it's okay." You whispered, unleashing your inner fanboy on your poor unsuspecting target.
"Um... c-can you let me go?" She asked politely, fluttering her wings ever so slightly.
"Okay Fluttershy..." You gently set her down, then backed off to give her some space.
You turned around to see the rest of the mane six looking at you funny, but more of a 'that guy is a bit more enthusiastic to meet people than is socially acceptable' kind of look. The exception being Pinkie Pie, who could pull off that kind of enthusiasm. She looked at you with a friendly signature smile.
Celestia approached you. "I'm going to catch up with some business that I didn't attend to last time I was here. Your job is to get familiar with some of the ponies in town. Make some friends, and have a little fun while you're at it. At one pm, meet me at sugarcube corner, we're going to have lunch, then head on home."
You nodded enthusiastically, Celestia chuckled. "Alright then, go and conquer."
And with that, she trotted off, leaving you with the mane six to show you around.
"So..." Twilight began, "have you visited ponyville before?"
Knowing the town pretty well from the show and not feeling like another tour, you responded with a curt nod.
"Oh good. Between you and I, I don't like giving tours." Twilight said with a wink.
"And between you and me, I find them very boring." You replied.
"Then we already have something in common. What would you like to do while you stay here?" She asks.
"Hmm... I'm not sure. I would like to just... hang around the town I suppose."
"That's cool, I suppose we will just sort of be around for you if you need us, right girls?" Twilight looked to her friends, who nodded in agreement.
"Are you sure? I mean, isn't there something else you could be doing? I don't want to intrude on your schedules..."
"Oh don't worry, if any of us had something to prevent us from doing this, then they would have said so."
"Alright... but if there's something that comes up, don't feel like you need to prioritize me over it."
"Sounds like a plan!" Twilight said.
-*~*-
You and the mane six were walking through the town, and nothing interesting really caught your eye, which took the form of two mares sitting on a bench. One sat upright, the other layed on her tummy.
"Hey! Lyra and Bon-Bon!" You said to nopony in particular.
"They are indeed, but how did you know their name?" Rarity inquired.
"Err... I said I lived in Ponyville before didn't I?" You replied, hoping that would cut the mustard.
"Oh right, silly me.~" Whew, minor disaster averted.
While you weren't particularly sure why you were keeping your humanism a secret, you chalked it up to the fact that Celestia never told you to tell people that, and it probably would cause some complications. It was wise to keep that under wraps... for the time being at least.
"Hey look! It's Princess Luna!" Twilght Sparkle pointed out. "...wait. Princess Luna?" She aquired a look of minor confusion.
Yes, indeed it was true. Princess Luna was approaching your little posse, and some of the ponies started to bow out of habit, but then remembered that Princess Luna hated formalities and stood back up, settling for a friendly wave instead.
"Hey Luna! What brings you here?" Rainbow Dash asked, representing the thoughts of everypony present, including you.
"Oh, just a little proposition for my friend here." She said, gesturing towards you.
You stepped forward, giving Luna a happy hug, which she returned with a wing-hug. "What kinda proposition?" You asked.
"Oh nothing much, just a little prank I feel like playing on my big sister today." She donned a sly grin.
You returned her grin with an evil smirk. "Taking a part in royal shennanigans is my speciality. Are the rest of you game?" You asked the mane six.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash immediately sprung forth, simultaneously saying, "Count me in!"
Twilight and Rarity both looked at each other, then shrugged. "Depends on what kind of prank." Twilight said.
"I agree with Twi. I don' want to ruin Celestias day or nothin.'" Applejack agreed.
"Oh dear, I don't really know..." Fluttershy whispered, cowering partially behind her mane.
"We-I assure you, it's a harmless little joke." Luna insisted, swishing her tail in excitement. "If thou wishes to not participate, then it is perfectly acceptable."
"Oh, well in that case, I'm opting out of this one. I was never good at pranking, even when I was supposed to." Twilight said sheepishly, backing away.
"I agree. You guys can have your prank, Twilight and I will be at Carousel Boutique if you need us. Ta-ta~!" And with that, they were both off.
"Well shoot. On one hoof, I've never been too good at them pranks, but thas cuz I've never tried. On the other hoof, I don't wantsta be at that girly boutique with Twi an' Rarity. I don't think I'd have much fun by m'self, so I suppose I'll be joining y'all." She gave an accepting smile.
"Alright, we have our posse. Now, let me ask you all something..." Luna leaned in very close, then whispered, "Do you like bananas?"
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Holy crap, I forgot all about this
1817483 For a while, I think I did too.
But, It's back, and so am I :P
1817493
Ermagerd! XD
Rul good chapter! Keep up the good work... And please try not to send us to the moon.. Or send us with company, at least. XD
My god i need to stop instantly like and faving and watching stories everytime i come across one that looks awsoeme
ERMAHGERD! NEW UPDATE!
This is SO shameless... XD
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/132745346590.gif
Do you ever get that nervous feeling in your gut?
That feeling of shakiness, and odd nervousness right before, and even during reading a fanfic like this?
I do.
No idea why though...
Is there a doctor in the house, anyone at all?
D:
Cause I seriously can't stop shaking. ._.
1817550 I feel that I do that as a bit of a guilty pleasure. Shameless humor is fun to write.
BANANAS!!!!! Really Its Celestia were talking about here if any thing it has to be CAKE... The royal plot loves cake.
Not even done reading and I see a reference to the "Calm yo tits!" meme AND Monty Python....In the same damn sentence? wow dude, just.....wow (in a good way).
Holy crap. I forgot about this story!
The only bad part about reading a chapter after so long, is that it might not update for quite a while... again.
F@ck yes new update!!!!
Will you be updating more frequently now? Pwease?
i1203.photobucket.com/albums/bb384/callumdolega1/f2b2a6c2b34d967afe4e186fab62c164.jpg
You just knew exactly what I wanted for Christmas this year didn't ya, Jex?
Celestia and Banannas
RUN!!
1817698 If I had a quarter for EVERY TIME I heard that damn comment...
Its always great when I can stop thinking a story is dead. There are too many of those, thank you for randomly being awesome.
YES, update!
After read: I looved it
Now I recall why I faved this.
At first I didn't know what story this was. Then I saw the cover art and was like t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTaUBomNGY7BnSqNiTtaWGJlKxgSyWAsKYcGfhQr6qrzQz9CMSc1bRl_Ps3Ag
Also were you in a coma or something?
Calm thy pectoral muscles-Translation-Calm you Titties!
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/031/a/2/happy_jumping_applebloom_vector_by_saturtron-d4o8zy3.png
NEW UPDATE!!!!!
Bananas!
Thanks for another chapter, this is kind of the story that drew me to you, and it seems to be shaping up very nicely. I am always a fan of Luna and another, and something tells me that their relationship, when it comes to be, will be built on the foundation of Celestia's tears and many many pranks!
Great job, keep up the excellent work as well!
How has it taken me so long to find this story?
First I've heard of this story. Read all three chapters so far. I'm loving this. Favourited!
And I like that you didn't give us a specific colour, or mane style or anything, when we got ponified.
Means I got to choose my own colours! YAY!
I'm pasty white with a long straight black mane.
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Was a while since the last chapter was released. But anyways, it was worth it! Loving it Jexxazrez!
bananas!?!
o-o!
dun dun DUN!
1817729>>1818167>>1817964
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This can only end well...
1818281 Is it weird that I mostly understood that? or do I watch too much Sci-FI?
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/3/4/62d303b7-9722-4886-99ef-0f28e3e04cfd.jpg
1817729
I'm gonna guess that you would have a bout tree fidy.
Also awesome chapter and I can't wait to see where you take it.
BANANAS.
This can only end well.
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSIdty-KCaN79vU_qQ8qdpvL8mg4CNuPxsyie574qq78M9A-zx7
Look at this, and tell me to my face that you still like bananas.
1818450 According to the dimensional string theory, this is a perfectly plausible scenario.
What would YOU have done? I'd be glad to know. (Don't take it as an attack, I'm legit curious.)
I saw a few missed aposrophes and in the paragraph where i meet Pinkie some captalization errors. But i dont come for the grammer i come for the incredible plot (pun intended)
1818436
Aww, who's a cute wittle banana abomination? You are, yes you are!
... I still LOVE bananas!
____
Commencing original comment:
That's an oxymoron. If Tartarus is the pony equivalent of hell, it would theoretically be extremely hot.
It took me nine years to master the art of stoicism. It took you two words to break it. Congratulations. You have made this stoic laugh uncontrollably out loud.
NO! Bad Celestia! One does not merely tell a human to 'go and conquer' without serious repercussions! Especially a brony, who may or may not be into clopping!
Three things.
First: Really?
Second: At least it's not Celestia asking.
Third: I invoke the fifth amendment.
ooh boy this could end badly XD
Update ASAP
Well, that's another chapter read. I approve of this, and I look forward to moar. So, without any pretense, get crackin! *pulls out whip* Faster, slave! *cracks whip*
*concerned
This is undeniably one of the greatest things in the world. ever.
You win the internet for having Luna say "calm your tits".
lolbrary.com/content/475/party-hard-21475.jpg YEAHHHHHHHHHH, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES ON FIM FIC. IT UPDATED! IT REALLY DID UPDATE!
By the time I read this, is was at 666 views. Huh...
Anyway, this chapter was silly. I like it.
Really great chapter, but I found myself face palming continuously throughout the story. There's just something about someone acting like a 6 year old kid that annoys me
1819107 It's hard to make a character interesting. Let's face it, most of us would be boring as hell in Equestria. This is just me fudging the rules a bit for comedy's sake.
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