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Finished

Finished

"I... I can't do zis," Photo Finish stammered in a rare moment of vulnerability. "Iz not you, Swirl, iz me."

Swirl cocked an eyebrow, trying to hide his tears behind incredulity. "What do you mean? What – what's the matter with you? Or... what's the matter with me? You don't really mean that it's all you, do you? It has to be me, there's no doubt about it. Whenever mares say 'it's not you, it's me', they actually mean the opposite – I know that! What have I done to displease you, my love?"

"Nozing... iz just..."

"It's the bells, isn't it?" Swirl brushed the many bells of his authentic replica of Star Swirl the Bearded's favourite hat. "There are too many of them – or are there too few? Or do they not make the right sound? Are they too shiny? I knew they were too shiny! Star Swirl would never have had time to keep his bells so shiny!"

Photo Finish sighed. "No, no, it's not zat. Your bells, they are perfect – Star Swirl himself vould have traded his hat for yours."

"Then what is it? Is it the rest of the costume?" Swirl twirled around, showing off his majestic dark blue robe. "Or is it the fake beard?" Swirl stroked the synthetic white hair affixed to his chin. "You know I would grow a real one if I could, darling. I would do anything for you, if I only could."

"Stop zis!" Photo Finish stamped a forehoof against the ground. "I told you, it iz not your coztume I have a problem vith. It iz a problem vithin my own soul and no fault of yours."

Tears were forming at the base of Swirl's eyes, and Photo Finish wished for a moment that her glasses were opaque. She didn't want to hurt him, really.

"I don't buy it!" Swirl cried, trying ineffectually to stop his tears by getting angry. "There has to be something wrong with me for you to act this way, especially after you were so excited about my wearing this costume tonight. You are... perfect, Photo. You have da magicks, and I thank my lucky stars every day that you have deigned to grace –"

"Stop! Juzt stop! You are making zis harder than it haz to be!" Photo Finish could feel the lenses of her glasses misting up. "I tell you again, I cannot be vith you any longer for faults vithin myself."

Swirl let out a long sigh. "What faults? At least tell me what you think your faults are, and how you can possibly think that they would make me love you any less. We can work this out, Photo. I'm sure we can." At this, Swirl stepped boldly forward and took Photo Finish's forehooves in his own. His horn lit up and he pulled the glasses off her face, revealing her red-rimmed brown eyes.

"It's okay," he said softly, wiping her tears away with a delicate forehoof. "You can tell me anything, Photo."

The two stared into each other's eyes for a long, silent moment. Finally, Photo Finish spoke.

"Swirl... you are a vonderful stallion. You have brought me nozing but joy, and your Star Swirl the Bearded costume is zecond to none, save ze stallion himself." Photo took a deep breath here. "And zat is zee problem."

Swirl looked bewildered. "What do you mean?"

"Swirl..." Photo Finish began softly, but then her expression hardened. "I love Star Swirl the Bearded. And you are but Swirl, not Star Swirl. Alzough your coztume is immaculate and your understanding of the animiomorphic spell is zee most complete in all Equestria, you are not zee genuine article. And zere is only room in my heart for one. Please understand."

Swirl stood stock still for a moment, and then his jaw dropped. His forelegs released Photo Finish's and slumped limply to the ground. "You're... in love with Star Swirl the Bearded. Like... in love in love."

Photo Finish nodded solemnly.

"But – but he died over two thousand years ago!"

The words were barely out of Swirl's mouth before he was sprawled on the ground with a smarting pain in his right cheek. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his former love glaring down at him, her left forehoof raised.

"I know zat! Do you zink I need your callous reminders? Do you zink I need you to zo cruelly state zee most painful truth of my existence? Ever since I first zaw Star Swirl's magnificent beard in a picture book as a filly, I knew I velt somezing special for him. Zee twinkle in his eye... zat was zee place I first found... DA MAGICKS!"

Swirl got back on his hooves, rubbing his cheek. He slowly backed away from Photo Finish.

"Zat he passed away centuries before my birth... it iz one of zee greatest tragedies Equvestria haz ever known!"

Photo Finish shook a hoof at the heavens dramatically and continued to monologue. She didn't even notice Swirl slip off into the night.

Author's Note:

Originally written for Thirty Minute Pony Stories Prompt #211 ("The Destruction of All Hopes and Dreams").

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nemryn

nemryn #1 · Dec 28th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Okay, I think this is the weirdest ship that I've ever seen anyone actually write.

Avenging-Hobbits

Avenging-Hobbits #2 · Dec 28th, 2012 · · ·

And the award for the single weirdest shipping IN THE UNIVERSE goes to "Brief Glimpses: An Anthology" for the chapter "Finished" in which Photo Finish is madly in love with Star Swirl the Bearded.

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