Brief Glimpses - An Anthology

by Ezn

Pinkielight Sparklepie

Pinkielight Sparklepie

It was a dark and stormy night, and the Clocks were all striking Thirteen.

"Ow! Stop!" cried Thirteen Shades, famous writer pony, as the hardcore timepiece-themed gang of donkey bikers beat him within an inch of his life.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, Twilight was reading a book about science or maybe or magic or possibly the science of magic. That last one would make the most sense because she is a pony in Equestria, and you know, ponies in Equestria have magic instead of science. I wish we had that, maybe then I wouldn't have to sleep so much in science class.

Anyway, so Twilight was sitting there all quiet-like, minding her own business and readin' some words on a page. She looked so innocent and naieve, like a plate of waffles no-one had had sex with.

A very tasty plate of waffles, thought Pinkie, psyching herself up for her role in this shipfic. She'd always preferred comedies, but her mother had cancer and her sisters all had triple-AIDS and their medical bills didn't pay themselves.

Pinkie walked up behind Twilight, doing some sultry sashaying and slaloming and stuff, it was super hot, if you're a pony I guess.

"Hey Twilight, I love you because you're smart, and because in that one episode we dressed up like Sherlock and John and I love to write slashfics about them, so let's sex!" she said, cutting through at least seventy chapters of subtle, slowly smouldering relationship-building bliss I had planned. Oh Pinkie, why you gotta break the fourth wall so much?? It must be because it is super funny and always leaves the reader in stitches.

"Sure!" said Twilight, looking like she'd just found the lost library of… like, sex plus something Twilight would like, I guess.

***

Twilight and Pinkie emerged from the library hours later, looking exhausted.

"I hope you enjoyed my exhaustive lecture on the reproductive habits of every animal known to ponykind!" Twilight shouted after Pinkie as the latter head for home. "I'm not even using a disgusting metaphor euphemism thing here, that is actually what we did. Whoever wrote this story is basically the best at subversive parody, and I totally do not want to have his babies because that would make this look like some weird self-insert which the author is too good for."

Little did Twilight know, the author sadly wasn't too good for beating self-deprecation into the ground with blow after unfunny blow. He cries himself to sleep every night.

Author's Note:

Written for an MLPchan /oat/ crackshipping contest.

Comments

[nemryn]

wat

[Avenging-Hobbits]

fc06.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/268/c/d/WAT_gif_by_Ryla_Sehn.gif
blastr.com/dr-strangelove.gif
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7ev5zZTA41r8gvi9o2_1280.gif
arch.413chan.net/what_the_fuck_am_I_reading-(n1300149932265).jpg

That about sums it up.

[PYROontheAIR]

I like the first joke. The rest was weird, but funny.

[Ezn]

1852452>>1853095>>1864242
Mission accomplished.

[PresentPerfect]

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.