Just another Monitor in the abyss of Existence...
[Displaced Fic] Anthony always enjoyed stories where a normal person went to another world with special abilities. Never thought he would end up one of those unfortunate souls.
Now he's Mogeme Genome. His Gold blooded troll oc. Lets hope he can handled it.
=========================================================================
First Displaced Fic, hope you enjoy.
Page generated in 0.159 seconds
Total duration
1,050 users online
1,897,047 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I probably won't put as much effort into this one as my other. Just letting you know.
Or maybe I will. Never know
What is this a crossover of?
10011394
Homestuck my dear reader
👌👌👌
Oh I hope this continues
This is good
Can’t wait for the next chapter
Well this certainly looks interesting!
It’s a really good story, but I will be the first to admit it needs some work. Your sentence structure is tight and clipped, you miss out in descriptive words or sentences and the pace is a tad fast. But otherwise it is an interesting storyline and I can honestly say I have yet to see a story make use of Homestuck.
I will give you an example on how you can rework some of your writing, the first paragraph will be the last one from this story as you originally had it and then The second one will be how you can restructure it to better flow and add in more description.
Don’t be afraid to use long or complicated words, active descriptors and places around the MC.
I have to agree with moonlit-the writing feels rather tight and uniform. Relax a little!
10204641
10204669
Thank you both for the feedback. And Moonlit. I'll take what you have into consideration. As for Leviathan Splash, I'm still testing out my writing style and I was trying something new here. So thank you for the feedback.
Also for you two to know, I wrote this in about an hour earlier this afternoon.
I have lorely in my main playlist.
Blackmore Night is an exelant team.
I like the story so far and i look forward to future chapters