Grand achievements through apathy
My brilliant plan to fulfill my 'friendship homework' by making friends through my super hero work had one major flaw: ponies didn't know the real identity of the Dashing Savior, and if they did, they probably wouldn't want to be friends.
Of course, I only realized this flaw after spending extra time chatting and hanging out with ponies after my most recent heroic escapade. Now I'd wasted three whole days and I hadn't made a single real friend!
It was pretty cool getting to know all of those ponies, though.
Who knows how they might be useful to us in the future? It's good to have a widespread contact network.
Well... yes, but it also gives me a gratifying perspective on how diverse and important the 'faceless crowd' really is. It's the kind of lesson you'd never get, old-Cozy.
Sap.
Jerk.
As much as I didn't want to get wrapped up in my own head like that, I had nopony else to talk to. I'd headed out to Ponyville to make some friends, but word had gotten around about who 'Quillon' really was, so my new coat color wasn't fooling anypony. Ponies glared at me as they went past, and kept their distance. I sipped on my milkshake and tried to at least be thankful nopony was throwing anything.
They're too scared. Because we're powerful, remember? We don't need them anymore!
'Power' implies I can get what I want. I want ponies to like me, but all of the alicorn magic in the world can't make that happen. Not for real, anyway.
... Touche.
Turns out, winning an internal argument against a voice in your head that was actually trying to cheer you up, does not result in you being happier. Who knew?
I was about to give up on Ponyville and head home when an unfamiliar voice made me start slightly in my chair.
"Oh, hey there. I don't think I've seen you around Ponyville before. You alright?"
I looked over to see a light-yellow unicorn mare with a firey red-and-yellow mane staring at me.
"Uh, yeah, I'm alright. I'm not from around here, though. Just visiting."
"Dropping in on friends, huh? Yeah, same here."
I snorted and focused back on my milkshake.
"I don't have any friends to drop in on. I was trying to fix that by coming here, but nopony will so much as speak to me."
The unicorn walked back around into my field of view and sat across from me. I might have thought it presumptuous of her, but I had just basically said I wasn't waiting on anypony. She cocked her head at me.
"They won't? Why not?"
I sighed. Of course I could lie to her, but then it wouldn't be a legitimate friendship – plus, it would be pretty unheroic, not to mention manipulative. Manipulating ponies was old-Cozy, not me.
"I tried to destroy all the magic in Equestria, got locked up in Tartarus, and then when I got free I went on a deranged rampage with a couple of other horrible villains, which got so bad that the windigoes returned. You probably noticed."
I expected the mare to realize who I was and... well, I'm not sure what I expected after that. An amused-looking smirk wasn't it, though.
"Oh, is that all? Sorry, I was out of town when that happened, though Twilight told me about it."
First-name basis with the Princess, huh?
'Out of town'? Nopony anywhere in Equestria could have missed that! Something's off about this mare, we need more information on her!
Or... I could just not give a horseapple.
I shrugged. "Fair enough. Yeah, that's all, aside from my being a backstabbing, manipulative nightmare who saw friendship as a tool for power."
She actually laughed at that!
"Wow! Yeah, that sounds about right! I guess Twilight and her friends helped you turn it around, huh?"
"As if! They just shot me with a giant rainbow doom laser thingy."
"Oh yeah, that thing. Did it strip you of your deranged-rampage powers and set you on the path to redemption?"
"Nope, it just wiped my memory."
The mare leaned back and smirked at that.
"Man, that thing is so unpredictable. Sent Luna to the moon, turned Discord to stone..."
Who IS this mare?! Find out now!
Nope. Don't care.
"Tell me about it. Luna ended up taking me in – long story – and she thought I should make some friends. So here I am. Making friends."
I gestured around at the empty space, and the mare snickered at that.
"Well, you can't just wait for friends to come to you. You've gotta do stuff with ponies to start forming bonds."
I rolled my eyes. "I know that. You can manipulate ponies into being your friend with shared experiences, favors, that sorta thing, but I'm trying not to be a crazy, manipulative villain anymore."
The mare quirked an eyebrow at me, and I realized that what I said probably sounded a bit foolish in abstract, but it was still the thought process that led me here. Then again, you'd need to meet a pony first to even try sharing an activity.
She grinned slyly and leaned forward conspiratorially.
"Well, can I manipulate you into playing some pool with me? I heard they recently put a table in at the new 'rec center' wing of the library here, and I could use the telekinesis practice. I've gotten really rusty."
GAAAH, WHY WOULD A UNICORN BE RUSTY AT TELEKINESIS?! FIND OUT MORE! And don't go anywhere with her, you have no idea what her deal is, she could be dangerous!
Golly, you really ARE helpful! It's a guide for what NOT to do and/or care about!
I shrugged. "Sure thing."
"Great! Let's go. Oh, my name's Sunset Shimmer, by the way. What's yours?"
"Well... I'm Cozy Glow, but I kinda prefer Quillon now."
"Oh, putting some distance between you and old-you, huh? I can see that, with the whole memory thing. Alright, Quillon, let's see if you can use that horn of yours."
I giggled. Something about this mare was just really likeable, as long as I ignored the screaming alarm bells coming from my manipulative side, my common sense, and my general survival instincts. None of which had served me very well in life, really.
"Oh, you have no idea. You're on!"
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... why you gotta do me like that, opening paragraph?
Man, I wonder what it says about the degree of her self-loathing that this is actually decent, completely non-sinister advice delivered in a morally neutral way, but Cozy still thinks of it in her Villain Voice and beats herself up over it.
Haha!
This fucking sucks!
Man, this all hits too close to home, but the Cozies cyclically dunking on each other is hilarious.
And then it got sad again. Woo hoo.
Oh no... could it be...
Also, her whole interaction with Cozy leading up to the "reveal", up to and including Old!Cozy's cutthroat sense of intrigue and deception, was fucking golden, you magnificent bastard.
I have nothing to add. This line is just funny.
Sunset has always been a logical candidate for helping Cozy. Nice to see her here. I wonder if she can use her powers to restore your memory.
10009082
Bad Idea! Suddenly getting all of her memories back could cause a complete personality shift, and make Quillion/Cozy Glow into Cozy Glow/Quillion!
A gradual restoration, like the one already happening, is much better in this situation.
sunset shimmer? that explains why she didn't cringe or run away from the evil deeds of cozy glow.
their sins are similar
10008946
nah i didnt comment on the previous story cause i read it in one go so i didnt have time to but it was an awesome story
THERES ONLY ONE PONY THAT HAS A MANE THAT LOOKS LIKE BACON AND THAT IS SUNSET SHIMMER
It's rare to see pony Baconbutt in a story! Now she will have to make friends with two Cozys! Cozies? Cozy² !
10009082
10009125
You'll notice Cozy hasn't exactly gone to any lengths to ask anypony to restore her memory.
10009252
10009316
Dangit, I hate the bacon joke. I've even seen serious stories refer to her as bacon-haired. It was funny for the first week or so, but she's been called that for years when her hair clearly has a fire/sunset theme. Ah well.
I do hope her inclusion was a present surprise for everyone.
Great! Now, all she needs is to befriend Discord, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, and Tempest Shadow, and she could form with them and Luna a club of reformed villains.
Such wuwei very dao wow
Woo.
It is not a Sunset Shimmer.
Really, not a single reformed villain would have behaved as if that was nothing.
Well, besides Discord, but he never really reformed. Just changed priorities.
At most, Starlight would have acted like that, because she destroyed multiple versions of Equestria (if only accidentally), and got away with that.
No, Sunset would have rather be shocked by her being so young and a bit terrified. Yet she would probably said that she is different person now and that the best way to fix herself was too find friends, even if they not real friends right now, and get accepted and maybe that she preventing bring accepted by hiding her real name while helping others.
10011333
Sunset has already heard about Cozy Glow. She mentions she heard about it from Twilight when Cozy brings it up.
Earlier I could clearly see that the bold text is the thinking of past Cozy. I assume that's still the case here but I am wondering if Cozy sometimes interprets thoughts of suspicion to be something bad and thus heard them in past Cozy's voice.
Can't believe I didn't get who the pony was till she said her name. This could be very good for Cozy though. I see this as being similar to when Starlight first befriended Trixie, who could relate to her regarding a villainous (or at the very least mischievous) past. I would be surprised if this happened again but the Starlight-Trixie duo became my favorite thing in the show and I always seemed to live when those two were in an episode together. I would be rather impressed if a Cozy-Sunset duo came close to that for me.
10022927
Heh, that's very insightful on your part. Yeah, Cozy does compartmentalize her suspicions and manipulate thoughts, even the innocent ones, into that whole mindset.
It actually took me a second to figure out this mysterious stranger, but then I was elated!
In the words of the Dude, "You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."
Ooh, another reformed manipulator. This should go very well. Though it may involve Quillion sprouting extra digits.
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Who doesn't appreciate a good Sunset?
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Sunset and Cozy get on like fire and oil.
They should turn “insulting your inner demons” into a professional sport.
Hello Sunset, fancy running into you here, for… some reason.
I have a nice HD render of Cozy’s S9 rage faces playing on loop in my head for this and it is amazing.
-gM, master of boxen.
I can't believe I'm about to say this... but you might wanna listen to your inner Evil-Cozy, Dashing Savior.
Another member for the support group (or at least club!), and one who had the same trouble Cozy is currently having.
I have it as "Customized by God to the personality of the villian to set give them the best chance of redemption within his permissive will (rather than his perfect will).", but even in that context "unpredictable" is technically correct.
^Isaiah 55:8-9