Sure, Why Not?

by Paper_Pen

Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

Raven Inkwell trotted through the halls of Canterlot Castle. She had gotten a letter of urgent summons from Princess Twilight, something that the royal was no stranger to sending though they usually held a bit more context than a paraphrased message of "Get your flank to the throne room or else". Twilight had a history of over reaction so Raven didn't expect a real catastrophe.

"You wanted to see me, princess?" Raven questioned, unsure of what to expect.

Twilight stepped down from her crystal throne to address the assistant pony, she wore an expression of calm anger, the mark of a betrayed trust. Raven bowed before her majesty, usually Twilight would tell her this was unnecessary, though this night she did not.

"I understand transitions can be difficult, Raven," Twilight began soft though full of rage, "But A coup? Why would you betray me and collaborate in a coup?!"

Raven's fear turned to confusion. A coup? Even if Raven wanted to stage a revolt, she was far too busy working with the princess' affairs to stage anything of the sort.

"Your Highness, I did no such thing!" Raven defended, still bowing.

"Do not lie to me, Inkwell!" Twilight shouted, "Your collaborator Blueblood was imprisoned in Yakyakistan this morning after trying to persuade them to declare war on Equestria, is that what you want, Raven, do you want war?!"

"Blueblood?" Raven finally rose, "I haven't spoken with him in months, I swear!"

"Likely story…" Twilight huffed, "A crueller princess would have you sent to the dungeon, be thankful I've only decided to fire you!"

Just as Twilight finished her sentence, a guardsmare burst forth into the room dragging Pen by cuffed hooves. The unicorn's horn had been adorned with a magic-blocking ring, one of his glasses' lenses were broken, and his nose was bloodied.

"Unhoof me you class-traiting brute!" Pen shouted, thrashing at the guardsmare. A quick hoof to the face shut him up, though a second also connected for good measure.

"You're Highness, we found this stallion attempting to get a loan from the royal vault posing as Raven Inkwell!" the guardsmare informed.

A short silence passed as Twilight took in the scene, putting the pieces together and realizing Raven had actually been telling the truth.

"Confess to your crime, cretin!" The guardsmare shouted at a freaked out Pen.

"I haven't paid taxes in years, I used to be a member of an anti-royalist group, I'm pretty sure being drunk in public is a crime, one time when I was a colt I threw a rock at a filly-" Pen listed.

"No, this crime!" The guardsmare clarified.

"I pretended to be some government mare and tried to get a loan, is that really this illegal?!" Pen was scared and confused.

"Yes, identity theft and impersonating a government official are both very illegal!" Twilight seethed with anger, "And on top of all that you convinced Prince Blueblood to stage a coup?!"

Pen had to think about that for a moment, he'd not forgotten about the events of the previous night, well, at least not most of them, but he was still a bit buzzed from downing half a bottle of lemon cider at lunch. Eventually he did remember, though he realized he could actually work with the truth.

"Well, to be fair," Pen addressed Twilight, not even thinking to bow to the ruler of two celestial bodies and the world's most powerful nation, "I didn't convince him to do anything, he just told me and I decided not to do anything about it, I thought it was a joke!" Pen defended.

"Why in Celestia's name would a member of royalty joke about staging a coup?" Raven Inkwell questioned, flabbergasted and enraged.

"I don't know, I was drunk!" Pen provided the answer he so often did when interrogated, "You drink way harder cider than most ponies, I was completely out of it!"

"Everypony else must have been as well if they mistook the likes you for me!" Raven scoffed.
"Oh honey, you act like I don't know what I'm doing!" Pen rolled his eyes and spoke in the same mare-like voice from the night before. Strangely enough, it sounded near identical to Raven, buck, she even entertained the idea of hiring him as a body double after this whole ordeal.

"Enough!" Twilight shouted, lifting Pen in an aura of pink magic.

This was it, Pen thought, this is how he died. He'd always feared Twilight, her elegance stood an intimidation, she was someone of importance, a beloved figure with actual control over her life and a position as somepony who mattered. Maybe it was fitting that the very thing he wanted to be would end up destroying him. He couldn't help but think of the parent's he'd never meet, the love he'd never find, the masterpieces he'd never write… it was all for naught, he could see his life before his eyes and he'd wasted it.

"For your crimes of identity theft, attempted fraud, failure to report a revolutionary threat, and impersonating a government official…" Twilight began, Pen could feel his end drawing nearer, "I sentence you to one month in the royal dungeon!"

Nopony said anything, least of all Pen who was trying desperately to understand if the princess was joking or not.

"Seriously, just a month in jail?" Pen asked, confused.

"Well, it's a dungeon… but yeah, one whole month, what were you expecting?" The princess questioned.

"With all do respect, princess, I'm from Manehattan, you buck up there and you end up charged with a bunch of stuff you didn't even get to do!" Pen explained, "I figured here you'd be the types to drag me into the street and make an example."

"By the Sun, that's horrible!" Twilight recoiled at the notion she'd actually execute somepony, "My rule is much more concerned with the reform of criminals rather than punishment, Equestria does not need another Nightmare Moon!" Twilight spoke proudly.

"Oh… so just, like, just out of curiosity, what about Prince Blueblood?" Pen asked.

"Well, he's not being tried here so that's really up to the courts of Yakyakistan." Twilight shrugged, "That's his problem… shouldn't have tried to take the throne..."

Pen was dragged away to the royal dungeon by the same guardsmare as before. The dungeon was a facility normally intended for housing political prisoners and as a drunk tank for nobles, his cell was fully furnished and hidden from the rest of the facility behind a locked door rather than traditional bars, even the bed, a nicely made twin size mattress with warm woolen blankets, was far nicer than standard affair. If this was punishment Pen would have to get arrested in Canterlot more often.

A guardstallion in special copper armor entered the room, a club strapped to his side in place of the the standard sword or spear. He was young, even younger than Pen.

"Greeting Paper Pen, I'm sure you'd like to be briefed on the terms of your detainment-" He recited in a semi-nervous voice. It's like fate was forcing Pen to do wrong

"Nah, I know the drill by now," Pen began, speaking with a faux yet oddly convincing Saddle Arabian accent, "I would like a glass of lemon cider, shaken, not stirred."

"I'm sorry sir but prisoners aren't allowed alcohol." The young stallion informed.

"I am Prince Harlan of Saddle Arabia, colt…" Pen lied, "I would vastly appreciate it if you fetched me my cider."

"Of course, right away you're highness!" The colt insured, quickly leaving the cell.

Pen took a book from the room's shelf and lied in bed, beginning to read the story. This was nice, he thought, he needed a vacation.

Comments

[FlamboyantQueer]

Pen has a chaotic energy even I struggle to match.