Preparing the Perfect Party Pastry for Perfect Ponies with Pinkie Pie!

Please feel free to correct any grammar errors in a constructive manner.

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Preparing the Perfect Party Pastry for Perfect Ponies with Pinkie Pie!

By Yuko Asho

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Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Well, I guess you know that already, what with me being pink and all. The really poofy hair probably helps give it away too. Not that I'd try to be another pony. I like being Pinkie Pie! I'd make a really awful Twilight Sparkle or Rainbow Dash, and I don't think the animals would like it if I tried to be Fluttershy. Nope, I'm good at being Pinkie, so that's who I am!

Now, some of you may have heard a rumor that I make cupcakes out of ponies. I know, it's absolutely silly! Ponies don't taste sweet! Well, maybe if you feed them lots and lots and lots of sugar, but why would I do that when I could just make real cupcakes and be happier!?

Anyway, you might wonder why you're in my kitchen! Well, I thought I'd show you all how cupcakes are really made! Well, really, you can make different kinds of cupcakes out of all sorts of things; chocolate, peanut butter, berry jam, or even lime! Though lime can be a bit too sour if you're not too careful.

Anyway, we're here for something really special! Did you know that Applejack and Princess Celestia have the same birthday? Well, I don't know either, but it's entirely possible! Even if they never die, the princesses have to have been born, right? It's entirely possible that Applejack and Princess Celestia have the same birthday! And even if they didn't, I'm sure I could get Princess Celestia to a birthday party for Applejack! I know I can get Applejack to come to a birthday party for Princess Celestia! Wow, maybe I could have them both come over for some other pony's birthday party! That would be so awesome!

Anyway, we're here to make something really nice that I'm sure both Princess Celestia and Applejack would love! That's right, it's time to make some apple-banana cupcakes! Doesn't that sound yummy-dummy scrumptilicious!? It sure does! Anyway, here's what you need, right here on the kitchen counter! You need two cups of all-purpose flour, a teaspoon of baking soda and another of salt, half a teaspoon of cinnamon and another half of nutmeg, two-thirds of a cup of shortening... Wait, where's the shortening?

Oh, don't tell me we ran out of shortening!

Oh no, it was right here behind the flour! Oopsies! Anyway, you also need one-and-a-fourth cups of white sugar, two eggs, a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a fourth of a cup of buttermilk, a cup of mashed-up ripe bananas and two apples. Of course, you have to core, peel and shred the apples, or you're gonna have some really chunky cupcakes!

Oh, and you need an oven! I did kinda forget that part, didn't I? Yes, you need an oven, pre-heated to three-hundred-seventy-five degrees! That's a lot of degrees! Oh, and a cupcake tray, you need that too! Okay, now you sift together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg. Don't spill anything! You're going to need it later! Well, I suppose you could scoop it off the floor, but then you'd be making apple-banana-floor cupcakes, and that doesn't sound nice at all.

Okay, back to the task at hoof! You're going to get a huge bowl and mix the sugar and shortening until they're light and fluffy! Next, you beat the eggs one at a time, then add the vanilla and buttermilk. Then you beat in the flour mixture you made earlier until they're incorporated! Now you wanna slip in the bananas and apples!

Now we have a giant bowl of cupcake batter! Yay! Put the liners in the cupcake tray, then fill them each to about half-full. That should be enough for.... Twenty-four cupcakes! Now slip them in your oven. Be careful to be outside the oven before you close the door! I forgot that part once. I had burns in places I didn't even know I had by the time I was able to open it up again! You know how hard it is to open up an oven from the inside? Anyway, they should be properly cooked in around twenty to twenty-five minutes. After that, you just take 'em out, let 'em cool, put some frosting on them if you'd like, and there you go! Apple-banana-no-pony cupcakes!

Anyway, I hope this was a fun and educational look at cupcake making! I hope you enjoy your cupcakes!

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Princess Luna stared at the party pony in amazement as she absorbed all of Pinkie's instruction in. She had, of course, heard the rumors and had come to investigate, but didn't put much stock into them herself. It was actually quite amazing how, underneath the cheerful facade, the party pony had really taken the accusations to heart.

“Well,” she said softly as she rose from her haunches, “that was quite the edifying experience.”

“Wasn't it?” Pinkie replied gaily, bouncing effortlessly over the counter and leaning in until she was face-to-face with the Princess of the Night. “Why not stick around for a few moments and enjoy the cupcakes when they come out?”

“Well, that's a generous offer,” Luna spoke sheepishly, “but I really must be going. It's just a formality, but I have to make sure no pony's - “

“Headcount completed!” her guard captain, Aegis Shield, barked as he entered unceremoniously. “All residents of Ponyville accounted for!”

Oh of all the times to report in! Luna groused internally. Her captain had been selected precisely because of his dedication to his work, but he had this annoying penchant for showing up just when it was least convenient. She turned her head to look at him and forced a smile. “Very good, captain,” she complimented through gritted teeth. “I assume Cloudsdale is being checked?”

“Also done,” Aegis curtly replied. “I sent a detachment to perform the headcount up there, and they assure me that there are no missing ponies there either.”

“Very well,” Luna said, a bit more sternly than she'd like. “Good work, Captain.”

“Yay!” Pinkie cried out as she reached around and hugged the Princess and Captain as though they were the closest of friends. “Cupcakes for all!”

Luna simply sighed. I'm allergic to bananas! Her mind whined pitifully as she resigned herself to her fate.

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Comments ( 13 )

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TeXXy

TeXXy #1 · Aug 18th, 2012 · · ·

You freak, you creep, you digital controller.

Great story.

Bronyfan

Bronyfan #2 · Aug 18th, 2012 · · ·

Haha! What i nice little story! I give you a thumbs up!

RaptorCalloftheShadows

RaptorCalloftheShadows #3 · Aug 18th, 2012 · · ·

D: When Pinkie realizes this later, she's going to be so sad. A headcount? Really? Really???

Phantim

Phantim #4 · Aug 19th, 2012 · · ·

I love your portrayal of Pinkie Pie. it just fits her so perfectly!

But now I'm curious... does that recipe actually work?

YukoAsho

YukoAsho #5 · Aug 19th, 2012 · · ·

1111922 Well I can't cook for shit, but since it was actually on allrecipes.com, I assume it works. Go over there and look for "Apple Banana Cupcakes."

Phantim