Of Earth Ponies and Their Magicks

by bahatumay

Spike Intervenes (and the CMC help)

Spike sighed as he morosely finished eating what should have been Twilight's breakfast, but she had been too focused on re-reading the books she had requested from the Canterlot Archives, and she didn't feel like interrupting her translations from Old Equestrian. Or maybe it was Olde Equuestrianne. Spike didn't know, and frankly, he didn't care. But her skipping breakfast was quickly becoming a common occurrence; and unless Twilight had some sense knocked into her soon, he was going to become one pudgy little dragon.

After a quick cleaning of the kitchen, Spike knocked on the door to Twilight's bedroom. “Hey Twilight? I'm heading out to start a war between the dragons and the griffons, be back around dinner time.”

“Ok,” came Twilight's uninterested response.

Spike cracked his neck as he headed out the door. This had gone on far too long. Twilight had become a danger to herself, and it was his duty as Number One Assistant to intervene. It was time to call in the big guns.

* * *

“So I think we can all agree that Cutie Mark Crusaders Vampony Hunters was a bad idea,” Scootaloo said. “But I think I've got another idea that'll work for sure this time!”

Her brilliant plan was interrupted by a dragon poking his head inside their clubhouse. “Hey, girls!”

“Hey, Spike!” they greeted him.

“Whatcha doin'?” Apple Bloom asked.

Spike sighed. “Twilight's been obsessing. Again. And I'm going down to Zecora's to see if she has some kind of calming potion or something.”

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin thoughtfully. “You're right,” she said. “I haven't seen Twilight in almost a week, come to think of it...”

Spike nodded. “She's been in there forever. And I don't remember where Zecora lives, so I kindof need your help to get there.”

“It's settled, then,” Scootaloo said, taking a deep breath.

Spike put his claws over his ears, but the trio was much too loud.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS EVERFREE FOREST GUIDES! YAY!!"

* * *

“And that's a tree. And that's another tree. Ooh! That's a really tall tree...”

Sweetie Belle's guided tours need work, Spike thought.

“Ooh! And that's where we found Twilight when she got petrified and all turned to stone!”

Spike shivered. Yeah. Definitely needed work.

But eventually, they all did arrive at Zecora's hut, where she welcomed them in warmly. “Welcome, visitors, please come in. How may I help you, dear children?”

Spike began, “It's about Twilight. Have you seen her recently?”

Zecora smiled. “She visited here quite recently; once yesterday, and once last week. Her latest obsession I have heard, about magic held and power deferred. Some information she hoped to find, using zebra knowledge that is mine. But alas, I had to tell her nay, and send her on her merry way. Oh, how she pouted, but I told the truth—my potions and remedies are natural, like you,” and she gently booped Apple Bloom's nose. Apple Bloom laughed lightly. Zecora was a fun zebra. (1)

Spike shook his head to clear it. No matter how many times he heard the zebra talk, her uncanny rhyming still weirded him out. “Yeah... and I think she's going off the deep end. Do you have anything that could calm her down?”

Zecora glanced around thoughtfully before her eyes settled on one medium-sized pot on one of her many shelves. “I have such a potion, though harsh are its kicks, but anything weaker would take too long to mix. I will give you a little, though dilute it you should, for too much will likely do more harm than good.”

Apple Bloom looked up worriedly. “It's not going to kill her if she overdoses, right?”

Zecora laughed as she poured the orange liquid into a glass transportation vial. “She would simply sleep for a long time, my dear. I never make anything deadly. Not here.”

“Not here, eh?” Scootaloo asked, raising an eyebrow cheekily.

Zecora's eyes took on a haunted look. “Be cautious, little one. Ask not more than you should. For the times of my past are best forgotten for good.”

Scootaloo couldn't keep a small shiver from running up her back at those words. She took the offered potion in her mouth and quickly headed for the door. “Okeh, 'hanks Hecora. Hesh 'o, hirls!”

* * *

The four friends walked down a path in the forest. Scootaloo had gotten tired of the taste of glass, and had begun to roll it back and forth on her back between her little wings (much to Spike's displeasure).

Sweetie Belle had given up on being a tour guide, but that didn't stop her from making a few observations. “You're going to drop that,” she warned.

Scootaloo shrugged. “No I won't.”

So, of course, thirty seconds later, she did. The glass vial landed hard on the ground, prompting a horrified gasp from Spike, but luckily, it wasn't broken. Scootaloo picked it up sheepishly and once again carried it in her mouth.

“You sure you don't want to take a break from carrying that?” Spike asked.

Scootaloo shook her head. “Ah ho' i'.”

Picking up his pace, Spike walked quickly until he was next to Apple Bloom, who was leading the way. “So how much longer until we get back?” he asked, obviously hoping to avoid any more trouble with Zecora's potion.

Apple Bloom looked around. “Ah'd say we have another ten minutes or so.”

A soft thump sounded behind them.

“What was that?” Spike and Apple Bloom turned around to see Sweetie Belle standing over an unconscious Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle looked up with a horrified look on her face. “I didn't do anything!” she squeaked.

Apple Bloom looked over Scootaloo with a practiced eye. She was no Fluttershy, that was for sure, but she knew some basic first-aid (almost a requirement if you lived outside the city limits, as she did). She pulled the vial out of Scootaloo's mouth and leaned an ear down to her muzzle. From here, she could feel her friend's breath and watch her chest rise as she breathed. “She's breathin', nice an' deep an' slow. She looks like she's asleep.”

Sweetie Belle nudged Scootaloo, but she didn't stir.

“Oh, great.” They turned to see Spike, holding the glass vial, which looked remarkably wet for not having been long in Scootaloo's mouth. His draconic eyes, designed for looking for flaws in gemstones, had found a crack from which their liquid was leaking. "It cracked. She's on this stuff,” he said.

Sweetie Belle nodded in recognition. “So she's just super relaxed right now. At least we know it works!” She smiled brightly.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and made a quick decision. “All right. Ah'll go with Spike to get this stuff to Twilight before somethin' else happens to it.”

“And I'll stay here with Scoots,” Sweetie Belle volunteered.

Spike sighed as he headed back to town. He hadn't wanted an adventure today.

* * *

Much to Spike's delight, nothing else happened on the way to the library. He opened the door and greeted Twilight with a yell. “Hey, Twilight, I'm back! I went to the publishers and they said your personal diary is going to be a best seller!”

“That's great,” Twilight called back, obviously not paying the slightest bit of attention.

Apple Bloom giggled and looked at Spike. “That's pretty funny. She's looong gone.”

Spike shrugged nonchalantly. “I've actually had her say funnier.” (2) He turned back upstairs. “You want something to drink?”

“No,” came Twilight's response.

“When was the last time you ate anything?”

“Ten o'clock.”

“When? Two days ago?” Spike muttered under his breath. (3) He looked up again. “You'll study better,” he invited.

“Be right down,” Twilight said.

Spike smiled and headed into the kitchen. “Good,” he said to Apple Bloom. “We have another fifteen minutes until she gets down here.” He rushed for another glass, and poured the orange liquid from the vial into the glass and left it on the table.

“What do you want?” Spike called up.

“What do we have?” Twilight asked, her voice still coming from upstairs.

“How about orange juice?” Spike called back, pulling a pitcher out from the ice box.

“Sounds great,” Twilight called back. They heard her hoofsteps as she started to come down the stairs.

Apple Bloom scanned the contents, then turned an evil eye on the dragon. “Ya got orange juice but ya don't have any apple juice?” she hissed accusingly.

Spike raised his claws in a disarming gesture. “Hey, that's always the first stuff we drink! We just run out of it so fast, you know?”

Slightly mollified, the filly grabbed another glass and Spike filled it with the offending liquid. He carried it back out to the kitchen and set it on the table, intending to add some of the potion to it, but to his surprise, the table was devoid of any other glass.

He turned to Apple Bloom. “Apple Bloom? Please tell me you have the potion we got from Zecora.”

Apple Bloom shook her head, her eyes slightly wider than usual. “Ah don't have the potion we got from Zecora.”

Thump (crash!)

The two poked their heads out of the kitchen to see Twilight Sparkle, passed out on the stairs. A shattered glass lay in front of her, with the remains of an orange liquid scattered on the shards and all around her.

They looked at each other, looked back at Twilight, looked back at each other, and finally back at Twilight. Apple Bloom broke the silence. “Well... that coulda gone better,” she said.

Spike thought. “Actually, that wasn't too bad. She needs a nice long rest... of... a few days...” His voice trailed off. Maybe it was worse than he thought. He walked towards Twilight and started to drag her up to her room.

Apple Bloom moved to help, but then looked back at the glass on the table. “No sense in lettin' this go t' waste,” Apple Bloom muttered, taking a drink of the orange juice. Her eyes popped open in surprise. “Huh. This ain't half bad,” she said. (4)

Comments

[bahatumay]

A second chapter because I personally hate new updates less than 1,000 words.
The CMC is, without a doubt, my favorite group to write for.
1) Personal headcanon of Apple Bloom and Zecora being good friends based on this picture.
2) Some more of Spike's personal favorites:
“Hey, Twilight! I may or may not have burned down town hall this morning.”
“Hey, Twilight! So turns out that Pinkie Pie was a vampony and we had her staking party this morning. She still insisted on cutting the cake, though.”
"Hey, Twilight! If the Royal Guard shows up, I was here all day, ok? And I most certainly wasn't out smashing mailboxes or anything."
"Hey, Twilight! The Egghead Society of Equestria accepted your application and they're asking you to step in as president."
“Hey, Twilight! Trixie's back in town and she's claiming you two are lovers or something.”
“Hey, Twilight! I sold half the books in the library to buy gems. Hope you don't mind!”
"Hey, Twilight! Our kitchen's on fire. And has been for a couple days now."
"Hey, Twilight! The Princess is going on vacation and asked you to raise the sun for her while she's gone."
“Hey, Twilight! Some dude showed up from Playbrony and I signed something saying something about you doing a hot librarian shoot, hope you don't mind.”
3) My little brother used to do this to my mom.
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Yes.”
“Today?”
“....”
4) And then a cutie mark in the shape of an orange appeared on her flank, and then Apple Bloom was ostracized by her family. She later changed her name to Orange Bloom, but somehow ended up working on a pear farm.

[Clemerl]

Spike is best troll and you are freakin' hilarious.

[Novalis14]

1132711
You know there is a thing called Authors notes right?

[bahatumay]

5488958
I do; but 124 weeks (and three days) ago, Author's Notes were not yet coded into the site (and when they were, at first they could only be put at the end of the chapter, not the beginning). Not wanting to inflate my word count with notes, I went with what I'd seen other authors do, placing them the first comment spot.
As for why I haven't updated my older stories to use them, it's because I kindof like seeing the old way, like a legacy of how the site used to be.
Also I'm lazy.