• Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Sunday

MagnetBolt


They/Them, Currently working on: [TOO MANY] projects.

E

Everypony in Equestria loves Hearth's Warming! Right?

What if I told you that some ponies, maybe even some ponies very close to you, didn't actually celebrate it? Sure, she might celebrate Hearth's Warming the same way as everypony else in public, but what about in private?


Written as a gift for MrNumbers

Happy Holidays, no matter what you celebrate! Unless you celebrate the Ultrablack Necrosolstice, in which case I hope the bones of your friends and the bones of your enemies get all mixed up and confusing.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 42 )

I loved it so much

Like, it deserves a much smarter comment then I'm capable of giving it

Using Chrysalis as the barely welcome extraneous relative here was an excellent idea.

“What’s the pineapple trick?” Twilight asked.
“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Velvet said.

"I'm the quasideific heiress to the kingdom."
"And I'll tell you when you're older."

He fired a blast into Velvet’s back, and the magic went right through her, the image of his daughter flickering and fading into sparkles as the illusion vanished.

:twilightoops: That's an unexpected twist.

Also because Shining Armor had managed to get with two chicks, and Twilight had an entire harem of reformed villains, though they weren’t clear on which were under house arrest and which were under sexy house arrest.

To be fair, neither is she.

Magnificent stuff, handily answering my previous questions and highlighting the best and worst of any family during the holidays. And really, is it even Festivus if you don't have to call in the fire department? Merry Jinglemas.

Incredible from beginning to end. Wonderful characterizations and dynamics with some heartwarming seasonal messages all wrapped up in a great comedy that had me glued to the seat from beginning to end.

tail end of this was .. pedagogical (?), thus probably in spirit of first season.

>Pineapple trick
Is it the one that also needs a yoyo?

They all joined hooves and watched the ashes rise up into the winter sky, and it felt like a Festivus miracle, just like in the year nine hundred ninety-eight when Twilight Velvet threw Night Light off the roof to plummet sixteen feet through the old dining room table.

Did I seriously just get shittymorphed by a MLP fanfic?

I'm not going crazy

It happened

Ok

Fantastic.

I read a fic a while back, something about one WWE wrestler throwing another through the Spanish announcer's table, and that story becoming a memetic virus that slowly infected the entire country. This a reference to the same thing?

Reading through it, got to the epilogue, kept going, last paragraph and oh Goddammit, you got me :D

Absolutely brilliant all the way through!!!

It wasn’t until they were sitting there in the snow with the fire department on the way and everypony bruised and leaning on each other for support that it really felt like Festivus.

Goddammit how do you be so hilarious so consistently.

Also, am I misreading the pineapple reference or do I spot another Prequel Adventure fan?

Hah, quite enjoyable! :D

for all are people who have been persecuted for celebrating Festivus
Merry Festivus! and a happy new year!:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

I think this is one of my new favorite fics. Hmm, my loved ones and I are looking for more traditions to adopt...

This was terrible

I love it and I want more.

I have a new holliday favorite.

10003463 Context (for children who may not even have been in school when this happened):

10003257
That was by Shortskirtsandexplosions, and yes. Never forget that it nineteen ninety eight The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell and he plummeted sixteen feet through the Spanish Announcer’s table.

Ahh, a true holiday classic. And not a Seinfeld reference to be found! At least, not one that I could find.

Happy Festivus to all!

I almost didn't read this. Almost. I'm so glad that chose to after-all.

The meme was a nice twist, not that I recognized it. Or know what it means.

Aside from that, it was a funny and heartwarming story about something that we all should incorporate into our traditions. With possible exception of that ovipositor. :twilightoops:

This was terrible and terribly funny. Excellent bit of heartwarming holiday wackiness, complete with feats of strength!

Fun short story, although I am a little confused by some of the references, the dining room table and the pineapple trick come to mind.

In any case, Merry Christmas/Happy Hearth's Warming/Happy Festivus/etc. to all my friends and followers, and to their respective friends and families.

How does everypony not know about Festivus, you'd think the collateral damage would make it hard to ignore. Also leaving out Flurry Heart does seem like a smart idea, you don't want to destroy all of Canterlot in the middle of winter.

This was a lot of fun. One reference that hasn't been pointed out is the bit with Twilight almost hitting the Festivus pole with her laser blast and Pinkie telling her not to do it, which I assume is a reference to Man of Steel. The comedy is great, and it managed to say a lot about the characters.

Oh, this looks like fun. Pinkie and Twilight together for holidays with the family. What could go wrong right?

Oh, Chrysalis is there too. Twilight is unsurprised. This is a fun twist!

Airing of grievances? At a family holiday? With wine involved. Oh no.

Feats of strength? Oh no

Holy shit, Pinkie. Like a boss. Shining defeated by the ol' hamster ball. Velvet as the undisputed pants-wielder of the relationship. Pinkie not even remotely handicapped by not being a unicorn in a magic fight.

Oh yay, victory by smooches!

What could make it more of a holiday than burning down the ol' family house? Happy Festivus, every--

just like in the year nine hundred ninety-eight when Twilight Velvet threw Night Light off the roof to plummet sixteen feet through the old dining room table.

OH MY GOD

This was beautiful, and that ending was on point.

I didn't expect this to be a semi-sequel to A Trolley Problem Named Desire, but I am certainly not disappointed.

This was a Festivus Mackerel. Somehow, the meme at the end was the cherry on top.

It just hit me as I was rereading this - this could be considered a sequel of Trolley Problem named Desire isn't it?

Wait, is this set in the same universe as A Trolley Problem? Nice.
I guess Cadence has had a lot of time to mellow on the idea of having Chrysalis around.
10005188
There are a lot of references, like "Let them fight" so it might be one, but I didn't recognize it either. Luckily, the Pineapple Trick line works as a Noodle Incident joke, anyway. It may even be original.

10017411
No, I got that one, I used it as an example of a reference in the story. The pineapple incident one was what I didn't recognize as a reference. I probably should have punctuated that comment differently to make it clearer.

I love anything that references events involving high falls, tables, and 998.

This is fucking great.

I knew the festivus was coming, it's in the title, but as soon as Chrysalis hit I had no idea which way was up, and it didn't stop. Awesome.

But does Chrysalis get a happy ending???

That last line killed me. :rainbowlaugh:

"a tightly wrapped passage" - ooh err, was that really meant as another innuendo or is it just a sneaky typo?

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