• Member Since 11th Jul, 2019
  • offline last seen Sep 7th, 2020

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When Cadance and Shining Armor are out of town and a monster threatens the Crystal Empire, it's up to its citizens (and tourists!) to take matters into their own hooves.

Nurse Redheart must find somepony to hug to save the empire.

On an unrelated note, Kevin was having a very good day.

Written for the wonderful Admiral Biscuit for Jinglemas 2019. You are awesome!

Many thanks to wishcometrue for editing!

Edit: I've been made aware that Aragon has a story with a very similar hook and I swear to god I wasn't ripping him off lmfaooo

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

That's so goddamn adorable that I need to go punch a wall to feel manly, again.

Kevin is always 'THE' dude and a cool guy at that. He never has to lie and he doesn't even need to infiltrate.

He might be the only changeling before they became colorful that was allowed to go around freely, he was at Cranky's wedding and nobody batted an eye at him... much less Shining, Cadence, Celestia and Luna all in the same room with Kevin left alone with the foals in the back. He was always the friendliest and luckiest of changelings.

Thorax in the Crystal Empire however? Start the alarms a changeling might be plotting something horrendous... but make sure that it's not Kevin first, he's cool!

This Premise Was Definitely Not Just an Excuse to Write Fluff

Of course it wasn’t. I’m on to you. :trixieshiftleft:

“Some rulers,” she muttered under her breath. In a louder voice, she asked, “So I assume we just hope that the guards know what they’re doing, then?”

No, don’t assume that. You should know better, Redheart.

“Worst. Vacation. Ever.”

Seriously, she should demand a refund. Well, unless she bought the eldritch horror package. If she wanted a monster attack, she could have stayed home on any given Tuesday. . . .

“Hitherewhat’syournameandcanIhugyou?”

Huh, usually it’s the changeling that asks that.

“Oh, I’m just here for the food,” said Kevin. “Quite nice this time of year. Speaking of.” He looked back at his sandwich. “Do… do you think we can scoot back a little bit?”

This reminds me of something I can’t say on an E-rated story, but she said (rather indignantly), “are you petting my cat right now?” Spoiler: I was.

“I have a bit of a weird request. Can… can I kind of… pet you right now?”

Every HiE fic ever, in a nutshell. :heart:

Redheart exhaled softly. “You know what? You’re right.” She looked off towards the horizon. “Work has been chaotic as of late, and it’s been nice to unwind a little. Thanks for noticing.” She drew the changeling closer.

I feel for poor Redheart here. Too many ponies to fix, not enough time.

Kevin looked down at the ground. “Well… I know they’re not the best team around, and they’re on a big losing streak right now, but—”

He shrank as Redheart gasped. “Oh my gosh. You mean the Crystal Sluggers? Home of the talented Pitch Out?”

You may or may not know this, but I live in Michigan and therefore am obligated to be a Detroit Lions fan. The best that can be said for them is that they show up to their games. Also, I suppose, that they were the first NFL team to manage a perfect 0-16 season.

And just like that, the ground beneath them began to glow, coming to life with a soft hum. As they stared in shock, the light spread, and their eyes followed the lines that connected with the glowing spots beneath the other ponies around them. As the floor bathed in an effervescent pulse of light blue, Redheart muttered, “That actually worked?

True fact, this legit happens whenever two Detroit Lions fans get together. And then we clink our cans of Vernors or bottles of Faygo together in solidarity.

Also, “that actually worked” is uttered by the Lions quarterback each time they manage to score a touchdown, extra point, field goal, or participation trophy.

When she opened her eyes, she gasped. “Kevin! You’re a crystal pony!”

How would a crystal changeling even work? The mind boggles.


Adorably--possibly even dangerously--fluffy. I feel for Kevin here; if there were a world ending crisis, my priorities would be my sandwich and hugging a pony, in no specific order, and bonding over the worst sportsball team in the region is always fun. Not only are there the present could-have-beens, but there’s an entire history of might-have-beens. And the promise of a ‘rebuilding year’ (which in the case of a perpetual dumpster fire....)

Thank you so much, and may your Winter Holiday involve much fluffiness and happiness and hugging and good food. :heart:

10001094
I hope that wall was also soft and fluffy! Glad you enjoyed reading :)

10001193
I know, right? Knew I had to write about him the instant the idea came to my head.

10001763
Yay! I'm super glad you enjoyed that, and that the research was worth it. It was a pleasure to write this for you :twilightsmile:
(And yes, the not-a-contest story entry is still on its way!)

10003451

Yay! I'm super glad you enjoyed that, and that the research was worth it. It was a pleasure to write this for you :twilightsmile:

:heart:

(And yes, the not-a-contest story entry is still on its way!)

Yay! I look forward to it!

Damn you...DAMN YOU FOR MAKING MY HEART FEEL LIKE IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE FROM CUTENESS:flutterrage:!!! DAMN YOUUUUUU:flutterrage:!!!

:heart:

10001763
What's this? A fellow Lions fan? Hug me brother! And bring the Vernors will ya?

10124450
:heart:

Also, wasn’t a lot of Lions stuff on Derpibooru, but here’s one thing I found:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/3/29/282372.jpeg

10124974
:rainbowlaugh: Nice! Honestly surprised there was anything at all.

10124978
Less luck with Vernors. This is the closest I came, and we can both agree it’s a poor substitute (the beverage, dunno about the pony).
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/9/2/1239923.jpeg

10124994
Darn! Suppose it will have to do...

Fluff Love.
The perfect weapon against lewd anime vine love... stuff.
I dunno. The idea was funny to me.
...
Wonderful story.

10394832
Haha, thanks for the read!

That’s going to make for one hell of a story later in their lives.

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