• Member Since 25th Apr, 2019
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

DashTastic_Brew


I like sandwiches and coffee. I also write a shit ton of smolcellus fics.

E
Source

Scootaloo and Smolder spend a little time together. When Scootaloo asks Smolder a question she might not be able to answer, the two end up making their friendship a little stronger than it initially was before.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 15 )

So, is this meant to be a one-shot, because it's not marked "complete".

Aside from that it's a nice little story with Smolder and Scootaloo. A pretty in character tale of the two just hanging out.

A story involving my favorite member of the Young Six AND my favorite CMC? I'll definitely enjoy it.

Great story! To me, the whole Rainbow Dash/Scootaloo sister bond never really went anywhere. There were a few heartwarming moments, but no true bond.

To have Smolder take that role sounds awesome! I'd think she'd would make a great sister to Scootaloo. I love it.

9998740
I did kind of rush on it and forgot to mark it complete, cause I'm an idiot. :rainbowwild: I'll fix that.

Anyway, I appreciate your noticing the whole "in character" thing. It's what I was trying to "aim for" this entire time, but I thought I wouldn't quite get it because I was trying too hard.

9998764
Tysm! I sort of felt unsure about the sister thingy because I thought it was a little bit of a stretch, but, I'm glad to see it worked out fine! I'm glad you enjoyed!

Comment posted by DashTastic_Brew deleted Dec 22nd, 2019

9999456
Thank you! I wanted to acknowledge that Scootaloo and Smolder didn’t interact with each other as much as they should. (Also I had to rewrite this comment because I accidentally replied to my own comment(because I’m still an idiot:rainbowwild:))

Unwaveringly cute. :twilightsmile: Would love to see a dynamic between Dash, Scoot and Smolder, they really are all cut from the same cloth. Scoots would scarcely know what to do with two big sisters. :pinkiehappy:

9999913
Oooh, That actually is a really good idea!

Cute. But it feels too rushed.

And if I ended up making a foreign kid my honorary younger sibling: I doubt I’d call him “Honorary American”. But maybe that’s because I’m not Smolder.

10000582
Thanks for the critique. Yeah, I did feel like I could’ve taken a little more time on it. Maybe like a few days or something. The Smolder/Scootaloo honorary dragon thing was more because they were semi-close before, and Scootaloo showed a lot of potential. Yeah, I could’ve explained that more.

10000624
They were semi-close before?

This is good, but messy. You use a number of overly-long paragraphs that muddle up the dialogue order, as well as using excessive adverbs in place of describing emotion. I'd also like to see more detail over what the basis is for Smoulder's opinion on Scootaloo. Give her more depth to what she sees in Scootaloo, and you have the start to a great potential relationship!

Do you have an editor? I think an experienced proof reader could help you iron out some of the issues. Since this fic is short, I'd be happy to touch it up to help it reach the great potential it aalready has!

10000734
I don’t have an editor, but I was looking into getting one! It would be awesome if you would touch it up for me.

10000705
What I meant was, I should’ve elaborated on their relationship beforehand.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!