6 - Memories, Old and New
If the tiny, crystal clock on her mantle was anything to go by, Starlight Glimmer had slept through most of the day. This was good. She liked sleep. She wanted to sleep. Sleep meant dreams. Dreams could be controlled, with the proper application of magic. And control meant that Starlight didn’t have to think about yesterday.
The day she lost her Sunshine.
She, Sunburst, and Sunset had all returned in… well, they didn’t look so hot, according to Spike’s expert, though unsolicited, opinion. Even accounting for the fact that they’d left for the past fairly late into the evening, their near-instant return to the present left very little time for anypony to cope with what had happened.
Sunset had basically barricaded herself in her room, and her parents had done likewise in theirs. If that wasn’t yet another sign of their relation…
She’d tried to sleep, Starlight. She wanted it more than anything else. But her dreams were no refuge, and she soon found herself and Sunburst up even before midnight had come. So, with a little Dream Magic, courtesy of a few lessons Princess Luna had graciously given her during her early reforming days, Starlight was able to soothe the next dreams of her and her husband.
Yet, sleep eluded her. She’d woken twice after that. Once before dawn, and once a little while after that, when Sunset and Sunburst asked if she wanted to head downstairs and talk with Twilight and her friends about Sunset’s other problem.
Starlight, though she’d been aware of her daughter’s attempts to make magic public in her own world… found it terribly dull and uninteresting next to the overwhelming urge to shut down, and tune out.
Her Sunset didn’t seem all that enthused either, but she and Sunburst seemed to prefer a distraction from their worries. They’d left Starlight alone since then.
I’m not sleeping anymore today, Starlight sighed outwardly as she thought, I need to do something to bore me back to sleep. All I gotta do is survive for a couple hours, then nod off again.
Starlight sat up, and took stock of her surroundings. Immediately though, she regretted that decision, as she spotted the white crib in the corner of the room.
“Of course,” she said, shaking her head.
The wardrobe and her cupboards were next. Totally plain, and uninteresting, outside of her Friendship Mirror and a couple of old knickknacks Sunburst had collected. Nothing there to remind her of her problems.
Except for the fossilized pacifier, in its own glass case. A rare find, Sunburst had said, when he brought it home six moons back.
Starlight grunted, briefly wondering if she could get away with vaporizing it. Deciding that she didn’t want to fight with the Castle’s new fire-suppression spells, she moved on.
“Well,” she almost got within spitting distance of a happy thought, “At least the kites are still on my side.”
One whole section of wall, framed by a pair of fabulous little Bit Trees, had been dedicated to Starlight’s second favorite hobby behind mastering the arcane secrets of the universe. Several grand demonstrations of her kiting prowess hung from the walls at jaunty angles, and in striking colors and patterns.
Her kites practically leaped out of the wall, the way she’d placed them, and they would have done a remarkable job of distracting Starlight from her problem. On any other day, at least.
Today, they failed to hide the Foal’s First Kite set, which Starlight had laid out near the base of one of the trees.
She’d been looking forward to that.
Now, however, all it did was cause the purple unicorn to charge one of her most destructive spells into her horn, bathing the bedroom in a crimson glare.
But, before she could engage in a round of demolitions, there was a light knock at the door.
The knocking soured Starlight’s foul mood. She hated being reminded that there was a happier world out there, just beyond her door. It just made her all the more aware of what had happened to her.
The knock came again, this time followed by a quiet voice.
“Starlight?” a demure, if melodious voice said, “Can I come in?”
That voice…
Starlight flapped her ears a few times, and gave each a quick rub. Had to be sure she didn’t have something stuck up in there. It had almost sounded…
“Starlight? Are… is this a good time?”
The unicorn paused, and considered having Sunburst check her hearing. Whoever was at her door, despite the low, almost shy, tone, sounded almost identical to Princess…
“… Celestia!” Starlight jumped up from the bed, and swiftly reached out with her magic to yank the door open.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t quite switched off that destruction spell when she did that. Fortunately, the spell itself had a very specific targeting vector built into it, so once the flash of unearthly turquoise light had subsided, only the door to the bedroom had been rendered unto elementary particles.
Which left Celestia, Princess of the Sun, standing in the archway to Starlight’s bedroom, a small object balanced on her withers, and a rather shocked expression on her face.
Eyes wide as saucers, Celestia nodded once, swallowed, and said, “I can see you want to be alone right now. I apologize for the disruption… I’ll just go…”
“Wait!” Starlight rushed out of her room, and blocked Celestia’s escape down the stairs, “Wait, sorry! That wasn’t…! I mean, I accidentally…”
She sighed, and lowered her head.
“What I meant was,” Starlight took a deep breath, “Please… come in.”
The Alicorn nodded slowly, her bright purple eyes never leaving Starlight as she let the smaller pony herd her into the room. While Starlight trot around to her bed, and tried to not look like she was trying to smooth down the unkempt covers, the Princess gave herself a moment to take in the room, much as its owner had only a minute ago.
If Starlight recognized the mask Celestia wore, the one she had spent centuries crafting to avoid breaking down at the sight of Luna’s stars and moon, she didn’t let on.
Starlight finished whatever she was doing that was certainly not fixing up her room for a royal visit, and turned back to her friend and former sovereign.
She smiled, which even she was surprised at. “So… what can I do for you?”
“Actually,” Celestia smiled back, “I came here, hoping to see how you were doing.”
There was a noticeable pause before Starlight answered, “Oh, I’m… fine.”
“Fine?” Celestia frowned, and tilted her head in a knowing way.
The unicorn shook her head, “Well… as fine as I can be. But, shouldn’t you be downstairs? What with the whole… meeting?”
Celestia’s smile returned, now a bit more genuine than before.
“Ah, the wonders of being retired! I don’t have to do anything if I don’t feel like it,” she laughed, a sparkle returning to her eyes, “And Sunset has enough advisors down there. Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash think she should make a big, public campaign out of it, to show off how wonderful magic could be in the human world…”
Starlight snorted, also genuinely, “Which Pinkie, and did she say that? Or did she call for a big party?”
“The P-word might have been thrown around,” Celestia nodded, “And… I believe both Pinkies were in attendance.”
“We should put a bell on one of them,” Starlight chuckled.
“Indeed! But,” the Alicorn shrugged lightly with her wings, careful not to unbalance the package on her back, “I believe the others are suggesting a more… measured approach. I didn’t stick around too long, you understand.”
Starlight nodded, her smile still on her face. Her mood had certainly gone up at Celestia’s regaling.
“Well,” she sighed, “If that’s all, then thank you for coming to see me. I’ll be fine, I promise. I just need a little more time to…”
Celestia held one wing out, her large, white pinions covering Starlight’s lips, forestalling her from continuing. Once she had the unicorn’s attention, Celestia coughed, gently, her eyes stealing back to her mysterious package.
“Actually,” she said, her voice again dropping into that withdrawn tone, as though she were… afraid of Starlight, “I did come here for another reason…”
Celestia’s horn lit, and the box on her back lifted into the air, before coming down onto the bed. Then, a second flash of golden light neatly sliced open the tape holding the top of the cardboard container shut.
Starlight watched this with a curious fascination.
“What… what’s this?”
The Princess took a tentative step backward, and nodded towards the box.
“Something that belongs to you,” she said, quietly, “Something I… I don’t have the right to keep.”
“Celestia?” Starlight frowned, a sudden welling of concern cracking through her self-imposed indifference, “Is something wrong?”
Celestia shook her head, “No. Nothing at all is wrong. In fact, everything is as it should be. Please… open the box.”
Her curiosity, as well as a little of her paranoia, piqued, Starlight looked to the mysterious box. She leaned in, and carefully pulled both halves of the lid back.
And there, she froze. Starlight’s hackles rose up. Her ears lowered to the sides of her head. Her irises shrank to pinpricks.
The box contained several things, she could see. Yet, right at the top, there was a piece of white drawing paper, folded with an uneven crease, and edged with the colorful remnants of an arts and crafts project, no doubt covering the other side of the paper.
But what truly caught her heart in a vice, and squeezed… was the crooked, hoof-written name in one corner of that paper.
“Sunset Shimmer,” Starlight said, her voice a hoarse whisper, “Age seven…”
The vice instantly jumped up into her throat, causing the purple unicorn to swallow, though her mouth was quite oddly dry just then.
Possibly because, as she only then noted, her eyes were stealing all the moisture in her body.
Starlight looked back to the Princess, who merely stared back. Celestia motioned, with as little movement as possible, for Starlight to go on.
And so, she did. Carefully, she removed the first picture, and opened it. The picture was amateurish, naturally. A blue sky made up of too much paint, with a white castle in the foreground, touched up with golden glitter. And atop the highest tower, stood a little amber unicorn, in all her stick-shaped glory, standing next to a white Alicorn with her wings outspread.
The next painting wasn’t much better, but Starlight didn’t care in that moment. All she could see was beauty.
Sunset, aged six, had apparently managed to get Celestia’s majordomo, Kibitz, to stand still and take a portrait. He looked good with a black mane, even if it was all in crayon. Starlight, though she barely knew him, had also never seen such a smile drawn anywhere near the vicinity of the old stallion.
Another painting came out of the box, each of its predecessors making up a pile besides it. This one showed how, by age nine, Sunset had firmly grasped watercolors, and perspective. Starlight could almost feel the warm, sunny beach receding off into the horizon. There was something off about the reflection of the sun in the surf, but it showed promise…
All of them did. Each painting, picture, or portrait she pulled from the box represented another stage of a young artist growing into her own. The earliest, some from before Sunset had gone to live at the Palace, still showcased a certain innate understanding of composition, however. Sunset’s colors were breathtaking, even if the models were stick-figures, or the angles and dimensions weren’t quite right.
Starlight didn’t care. She loved everything she saw. Her smile, once forced, began to radiate out from her face. She could feel the smile begin to take up space in her eyes, forcing out the tears she’d been shedding in sorrow since this whole ordeal had started. The smile dripped down her throat, warming every muscle in her chest like she’d just poured hot tea right from the pot, though it did nothing for the tightness that still held her voice in check.
A sketch of ponies dressed up in the Hearth’s Warming Play costumes came up next, by a thirteen-year-old Sunset. It was done like an old woodcut, with little hashes and lines for shading, and was definitely a self-portrait, if the very Sunset-like Princess Platinum in the center was any indication.
The art teacher only gave it a B, thus earning Professor Cloptimentary Colors, whoever that was, Starlight’s undying enmity…
And on, and on they went. Paintings of Canterlot. Portraits of ponies Starlight had never met. Beautiful recreations of masterpieces. A completely black page, from Sunset’s ‘gothic’ phase, judging by how she was fourteen and signing her name as ‘Sunkill Dimmer’.
Though, that one got a curiously embarrassed laugh out of Starlight, who suddenly wondered what her dad had done with all the skulls in her room back home…
Finally, there were only two things left in the box. One was a simple, if quite badly aged, picture, again creased poorly and folded up. The other, a thick book. Starlight, not even slowing down her ravenous appetite for Sunset’s art, eagerly grabbed at the picture.
And, once again, froze.
Sunset Shimmer, age 4. She’d written the number, though it was a bit crooked. And her name only had about half of its letters in the right direction or orientation.
Sunset, for it was clearly Sunset Shimmer, stood in the center. A gold unicorn stick-figure, with the widest and happiest smile of any portrait or painting Starlight had seen thus far, beamed out at her from the page.
On one side stood an orange stick figure with a dark orange mane that was mostly just a few loops and squiggles, matched by a long, similarly orange squiggle under his muzzle. And on the other, a light purple mare, with a purple mane cut by a turquoise line.
If the two other ponies were smiling too, Starlight couldn’t tell. The tears had finally gotten hold of her, and she could no longer see clearly. She took one, haggard breath…
There was a shuddering sigh.
But it was not Starlight’s. She turned around with dreaded slowness, at once not believing, and not wanting to believe what she’d heard.
Princess Celestia tried to look away, but there was no hiding the tear tracks carving their way down her white cheeks, nor the way her withers quivered with barely-suppressed sorrow. Even her mane, ethereal, and glorious, hung limp atop her head, weighed down by her heavy heart.
“Princess…” Starlight gasped, raising one hoof towards the Alicorn. In one, horrifying second, her memories of the throne room returned. When the truth of Sunset’s parentage had finally come crashing down upon all of them, Starlight…
My daughter is afraid of me, was what she’d thought, before she knew who Sunset’s shocked gaze had settled on.
I’ve lost my daughter.
And so has she, she’d thought as Celestia learned the truth alongside them.
But, Celestia had come here with a goal, a quest to complete. She drew up with what little majesty remained to her, and she forced herself to look back at the box.
“There is one more… one more thing,” she swallowed several times, in succession, “One more thing for you that I took…”
Starlight’s gaze was drawn, unbidden, back to the box, and the strange book within. With a gingerly touch, her magic lifted the tome from its confines, and slowly opened up, to reveal its contents.
At first, she couldn’t understand what she was looking at. Then, she couldn’t believe it.
The first picture in the photo album was moving. A tiny Sunset Shimmer gazed up in starry-eyed fascination at the vaulted ceiling of Canterlot Palace, her laugh caught in her throat as she still couldn’t believe she was going to live here now!
“Princess?” Sunset asked, her eyes still locked onto one of the chandeliers.
“Hm? Yes, Sunset?” the white Alicorn smiled as she followed her newest charge through the hall.
Sunset looked back at the one who took her in, and smiled.
“How big will my bed be? And… and do I hafta share it with anypony?”
Celestia beamed, “Why… you’ll have the biggest bed in Canterlot, next to mine! And you—
Starlight turned a few pages, cutting the memory spell off. The next memory, trapped in a moving photograph, was of Sunset sitting, shamefaced, in a pool of mixing paints.
“Well,” Celestia sighed, “I’m sure Da Pinto would disagree…”
Sunset hunkered down even lower, her eyes trying not to look at the priceless wallpainting she’d covered over with her own hoofpainted Celestia eating cake. A little bit of blue paint plopped right on top of her muzzle from its place in her mane, reminding the little filly that in her eagerness to thank the Princess for taking her in, she’d overstepped an un-step-able boundary.
This, Celestia noticed.
“… But I like it!”
“I’m so sorry Princess! I didn’t… what?” Sunset was stunned, stupefied, even, “What did…?”
The Princess went down to nuzzle the confused filly, never minding the paint that—
Another page. Sunset at the Grand Galloping Gala with Prince Blueblood. Neither could have been more than ten years old…
… and they couldn’t be happier to be going!
“We’re going to the Ga~la!” they sang together, bouncing around one another in their foal-sized suit and dress, “We’re going to the Ga~la!!—
Starlight slammed the book shut. Her mouth was dry, and every silent, heaving breath ached in her chest.
“These are memories,” she said aloud, neither intending the words for herself nor the Princess.
Celestia, looming behind Starlight like an oncoming train, sighed quietly.
“I thought the gift you got for Twilight’s coronation was very nice,” she said, “And after this whole thing started, I realized that… well, that I had stolen them from you.”
Starlight spun around, but found the Alicorn had turned her head to stare out the nearby window.
“Princess…” she started to say, but stopped when a white wing twitched up, in a command for silence.
A few moments passed, in silence. Then, Celestia continued, “Sunset was… even if I wasn’t a good mother at times, she was like my own. I tried so hard to do what was right for her. But my cowardice… my inability to accept that somepony might love me back, cost me opportunities to help her become better.”
Starlight closed her eyes as the Princess spoke. Every word was a reminder of what she had lost, a prickly, stabbing pain in her heart. The memories she had already seen replayed behind the darkness of her sight, only enhancing what she felt.
“Her fall,” Celestia breathed in, slowly, voice shaking, “was entirely my fault.”
“No,” Starlight whispered, too quiet for the other pony to hear, “No… it was mine…”
Starlight knew it was her fault. She had been the one to let her pettiness get the better of her. She was the one who had destroyed what made ponies special. She was the one who broke Time itself, and lost the one thing that would have made it all worthwhile in the end.
Celestia’s breathing calmed, if only a little, in the silence.
Finally, she said, “These memories should belong to you. You should have been there with her the entire time. You were her real… her real mother.”
Starlight’s eyes snapped open. She grit her teeth, and snarled as her horn flared to magical life.
The Princess froze as her whole form became wreathed in Starlight’s aura. She yelped, surprised, but made no move to free herself as she was hauled into the air, and pulled inexorably towards the shaking, rage-shivering mare.
She was brought into a hover, just a few inches off the floor, right at Starlight’s eye level.
“Don’t…” Starlight snorted, and her eyes narrowed, “Don’t you… EVER! Say! That! Again!”
For a brief moment, from the look on Celestia’s face, it was clear she honestly thought Starlight was about to hit her.
Then, the look on her face turned into one of incredulous shock, as Starlight pulled the much larger mare into a tight, squeezing hug. Celestia reflexively started to return the embrace, but paused.
Starlight pressed her face into the crook of Celestia’s neck, and whispered, “You were just as much her mother as I am. Thank you… thank you for protecting her…”
The dam was broken. Both mares tightened their holds on one another, Celestia gaining a slight advantage from having wings to throw into the hug. Starlight regained control by rubbing the other mare’s back with her hooves. They each poured their hearts out into each other, letting the tears flow out, taking with them the pain and the fears they’d each been holding within.
Starlight, with the ache of a child lost, and Celestia with something almost the same.
Minutes passed, and the crying began to shift. Sorrow and grief slowly morphed into a sort of happy, sad, joyous thing that lacked description or definition.
Starlight laughed, surprising herself. And through her laughter, she said, “Besides… we both know it was my crazy genes that made her a tough kid to raise.”
Celestia barked out a laugh.
“You think your genes hold a monopony on crazy? Oh, have I got stories to tell you…!”
“Yeah, actually!” Starlight giggled, and started pushing away from the larger Alicorn, “You actually do!”
“I… what?” Celestia asked, gasping for air as she came down, in both the literal and metaphorical sense. She settled to her haunches down on the bed beside Starlight, smile still plastered over her muzzle.
“I mean,” said Starlight, now wiping away tears of a different sort, “that you do owe me some stories. About Sunset.”
At their daughter’s name, both mares finally got their laughter under control, and a degree of sobriety took hold again, though this time it was like a light blanket over a warm pool of good feelings. Starlight smiled, genuinely, up at Celestia, and Celestia smiled right back.
Both found themselves a little less lonely and lost, just then.
Then, Starlight poked the ancient Princess in her ribs.
“Now, you are going to go with me through every art piece, and every memory in that book. I want to know everything!”
A twinkle came back into Celestia’s eye, “Everything? Oh, surely not everything?”
A glint found its own way into Starlight’s.
“Everything…”
The meeting, having been going for a little less than an hour, finally ended with the sound of Twilight’s gavel striking the Cutie Map table. This was immediately followed by the panicked protest of a particular pink party planner pony.
“This is an outrage!”
“Yeah, you tell ‘em, Pinks!”
“I demand a recount!”
Each of the Elements of Harmony, as well as Sunburst and Sunset Shimmer, sighed wearily, facehoofed, or otherwise shook their heads in mild disapproval at Pinkie and Pinkie’s antics. The decision wasn’t just final, it wasn’t theirs to make.
Rainbow Dash growled, “Pinkie, just give it up. Uh, both of you,” before she hopped out of her seat, performed a perfect corkscrew maneuver, and flew out the door. She still had weather team work to handle, and the daylight was wasting away.
“Indeed, darling… er, darlings,” Rarity concurred, trotting out of the room with a small stack of paper orders floating along in her aura, “Sunset’s made her decision, and I’m sure it will all be for the best.”
Fluttershy and Applejack each waved farewell to their friends, before quickly exiting the vicinity of a Pinkie Pie meltdown. Both mares had plenty of work to do, without getting caught up in another adventure.
The other Pinkie, whom Sunset couldn’t definitively pick out as hers yet, placed a comforting hoof around her counterpart’s withers, and began leading her out as well.
“Ah, don’t worry about it! We’ll have our own ‘Reveal Magic to the World’ party! And it’ll have black licorice! And cookies!
“You know what?” she threw up one hoof, dramatically, as the two pink earth ponies exited the room, “Forget the licorice!”
The last three ponies in the throne room were Princess Twilight, Sunset Shimmer, and Sunburst, all of whom were trying not to laugh too hard as their pink friends finally left to do whatever it was that two Pinkies did when they were in the same universe.
It was either laugh, or worry. And all three had enough of that.
“You guys think the one on the left was mine?” Sunset smirked, though her raised eyebrow betrayed her uncertainty, “I mean, she does that kitty-smile thing like mine does.”
Twilight shook her head, “Can’t tell. My Pinkie started doing that too. Probably.”
“I could probably figure out a blood test of some sort, to determine dimensional origins,” Sunburst idly scratched at his beard with one hoof, “But I’m fairly certain all that would come out is sugar.”
Another round of chuckles filled the crystal chamber. Sunset, in particular, seemed lost in her moment of merriment, only pausing as she felt a feathered wingtip brush across her shoulder.
Twilight smiled, softly, and said, “I’m really proud of you, you know?”
“Oh? What for?” Sunset settled into Spike’s usual seat, leaving Sunburst to lean against Dash’s.
The Princess nodded towards her cross-dimensional protégé.
“From how you described your situation in the Journal,” Twilight smiled, “I expected you to want to upload a film to, ah, MyStable, or send out a telegram to all your… peeps? Are they peeps?”
Sunset tried very, very hard not to laugh at her friend’s baffling attempt at referencing human technology, but only ended up looking like she’d been sucking on lemons.
Twilight, to her credit, caught that look, which quickly caused her smile to falter a bit.
“I, ah…” her smile strained to keep itself alive, “I didn’t get any of that right, did I?”
Sunset snorted, and tried to give the Princess a comforting wink.
“Close enough, I guess,” she laughed, “And… yeah. I suppose before yesterday, I would have done that. Made a vlog, updated my gaming channel…”
“Show off,” Twilight mock-huffed at Sunset’s casual use of human techno-babble.
“… but then, well…” Sunset glanced over to Sunburst, apparently lost for words.
Sunburst, however, had a few to spare. “Yesterday happened.”
“Right!” Sunset pointed one wing at her father and made a little ‘pew-pew’ gesture… that she only then, with flushed cheeks, remembered they wouldn’t get. She then, awkwardly, ruffled her wings back into place.
“A-and let me tell you!” she went on, if only to cut her embarrassment short, “Yesterday really taught me the importance of giving things time… I know I still need some.”
If the prevailing vibe in the Castle of Friendship was one of happiness, joy, or positivity, Sunset realized that her last statement probably crushed all that. What was left was an almost silent tension, as though someone had plucked a flat guitar string.
Sunburst walked up to his little girl, yet refrained from placing a hoof on her foreleg or shoulder. Instead, he simply stood at her side, and seemed to trust in his presence being enough.
It worked, if the way Sunset’s shoulders lost some tension could be believed. The Princess of Friendship noted this, and leaned towards her friend.
“Do… do you wanna talk about it?” she whispered, one hoof reaching across the table like an offering.
Sunset took a long, slow breath in. When she exhaled it, also slowly, her face still held a line of worry.
“I don’t know. Kinda? Kinda not?” Sunset leaned back in the chair, sitting in a far more human pose than Twilight thought was necessarily comfortable, and sighed, “I guess I just… had this whole new thing dumped in my lap, and I still don’t know how to process it all.”
Sunburst cleared his throat quietly, trying not to disturb Sunset’s thoughts. Yet, even the tiny interruption caused her ears to twitch in his direction.
The jig being up, he took a moment to collect himself, and said, “But it’s not… a bad sort of thing, right?”
The amber Alicorn glanced up at her father… and managed a little smile.
“Not… entirely, no.”
Her smile faded, however, and in the next second, Sunset was leaning over the crystal table, her eyes fixed somewhere on the horizon.
“But… it’s such a big change. I mean,” she very noticeably did not look at Sunburst, “You and Starlight were my friends, and now you’re… you were actually my parents this whole time? How do I even begin to process that?
“And what is Celestia to me now!?” Sunset threw her forelegs up into the air, dramatically, “I guess she’s my… she adopted and raised me. We never said it out loud, but I always knew she saw me as more than just some orphan she took in. Seriously, who didn’t see the way she was choking up the whole time Harmony was here?”
Sunset grunted in exasperation, and then slammed her head right down on the table. Her horn made a hard clack as it hit first.
“Ow…” Sunset groaned.
Twilight and Sunburst both grimaced, and raised up a hoof each towards their own horns in sympathy.
Sunburst recovered first, gingerly rubbing Sunset’s back, and saying, “Well, it’s not like this is the first big change you’ve gone through. I mean, from pony to human… and then to an Alicorn!”
The stallion’s eyes flashed for a moment, and a crooked grin found its way onto his muzzle. “My little girl’s already an Alicorn…” he said with a faraway voice.
“Your Stellar Flare is showing,” Sunset grumbled, her voice carried surprisingly well by the crystal table.
While Sunburst was busy recoiling with disgust and horror, Sunset looked up again, a few new creases across her brow. Twilight tried to give her friend a big, infectious smile, but Sunset hardly noticed the Princess’ attempt.
“It’s not the same,” she sighed, fogging up the table, “Becoming an Alicorn didn’t change who I was! It was an addition… an unwanted one, but still. It didn’t make me have to look back over my whole life trying to figure out some sort of clues as to when it happened!
“It didn’t…” Sunset’s voice caught, for a second, before she looked back to her father, “I always thought of myself as Sunset Shimmer. Now… am I still Sunset? Or am I Sunshine?”
Sunset expected one of many things to happen when she finally said that. She expected Sunburst to look away, or to cry, or maybe even scream something back at her.
She never, not in a million years, expected him to smile. And it wasn’t a pained smile, either. The soft lighting inside the castle had somehow caught in his eyes, and Sunset was reminded so much of her Rarity’s diamonds, the way they sparkled.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he tilted his head to one side, though he clearly knew the answer to his own question.
Sunburst trotted back up to her chair, and reached out with a hoof. But, instead of settling it on her shoulder, or tussling her hair, he pointed straight down.
At her flank.
She and Twilight threw him a confused look.
“Your Cutie Mark, Sunset,” he chuckled.
Sunset shifted, and moved until she could look down at her flank. She managed to stick one hindleg out, just enough to show off the gold and red spiral sun. Even watching herself get the mark back in the past, she had no real idea what it meant.
“What do you see?” said Sunburst.
Sunset continued to shoot him a look… but there was something encouraging about the way he was smiling.
“A sun,” she said, simply.
“Made up of what two colors?”
She didn’t need to look, but Sunset was suddenly in a humoring mood.
“Red and gold.”
“Orange, too,” he said, then tapped his chin as though he were in thought, “Hmmm… now that you say that, it almost sounds like the colors of the sunset…”
“I see…” Twilight mused. That same curious smile crossed her face just now, though Sunset couldn’t place it. She glanced between her two assailants, trying to guess where it was they were going with this.
“But there’s also gold,” Sunburst said, his eyebrows raised, “Gold, such as…”
Sunset stared at her father. Then, she looked down to her mark. Slowly, an idea began to appear before her.
Like a new sunrise…
“Sunshine,” she whispered, her eyes widening, “Golden like sunshine…”
The moment we touched, I saw my life flash before my eyes, Sunset recalled. But they weren’t my memories. Or, they were… and her Cutie Mark appeared just then…
“You’re both,” Sunburst’s voice cut through the haze of her thoughts, “Our Sunshine, and our Sunset. You’re… you’re like a universal constant.”
“Or,” Twilight said, Sunset hardly noticing the warm smile on her friend’s face, “A perfectly symmetrical being. Balanced by yourself…”
Sunset’s mouth worked, but no sound came out.
Ouroboros, she thought.
She didn’t see it coming, as Sunburst’s forelegs wrapped around her shoulders, and began to drag her into a hug, but Sunset wasn’t about to let the opportunity go to waste. She nearly threw herself into it, almost toppling the poor stallion with her greater Alicorn strength.
And, once again, the chamber was filled with laughter. Sunset held onto her father with all her heart, a perfect moment of contentment, of family.
Twilight looked on, finally seeing Sunset and Sunburst take at least the very first step onto the road to recovery. But, as she watched, and listened, another sound began to mix with that of her friends’ laughter.
It almost sounded like…
“It…” Sunset had noticed too, whispering, “It can’t be, can it?”
Sunburst’s ears perked.
“Starlight?”
Another pair of voices were laughing, just beyond the throne room doors. In quick order, both Alicorns were up and racing into the hallway, Sunburst trailing behind them.
“It’s coming from the stairs?” Twilight frowned toward the main staircase in the castle’s front. Indeed, a chorus of laughter was wafting from that direction, as if carried on a breeze directed by the castle’s crystalline structure.
Filing away the thought of studying her old home’s harmonics, Princess Twilight led the charge down the dark purple hallways. Door after green, crystalline door flew past, and the banners flapped in the breeze generated by three ponies’ galloping for all they were worth.
But soon, they came into the entrance hall, and all three could see clearly the cause of the mirthful disturbance.
Trotting down the leftmost stair, practically hoof-in-hoof, came Starlight Glimmer and the Princess Celestia, giggling like schoolfillies who just overheard a naughty joke. They reached the bottom landing, and each beamed like they were a sun in miniature.
“Sunset!” they both cried out, before swamping the hapless amber Alicorn. She almost took flight, they fell on her so fast. But, it only took one long, white neck wrapping around her one way, and two shorter, purple hooves on the opposite, to hold Sunset down.
“Uh, hi?” she squeaked out as both mares tightened their grip, “I guess you’re feeling better…?”
The hugs continued another moment, leaving both the Princess of Friendship and Sunburst to step back and wonder at the strange turnaround.
“Didn’t you say she was depressed?” Twilight whispered, out the side of her mouth, “I’m not complaining, but I’ve also learned to worry whenever Starlight looks too happy about something.”
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Sunburst whispered back, though his pupils were suspiciously narrowing to fine points within his eyes, “But… just in case, you might want to grab the other Element Bearers…”
The nuzzling finally being over, Starlight released her deathgrip first, and took a few steps back.
“Sorry about that,” she said, smiling, though her eyes were clearly taking in the sight of Sunset, “Celestia came by and… we talked.”
“Talked?” Sunset’s nose scrunched up, and her eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Starlight, Celestia doesn’t just talk.”
She turned, and gave the alabaster pony a look that could shame Pinkie Pie out of candy.
“You weren’t… gossiping, by any chance?”
Celestia balked, raising a hoof to her chest, as though she were offended by the very notion.
“Why, Sunset! I never!” she proclaimed, dramatically, to where even Twilight was shocked at how her acting hadn’t improved in the slightest, “I am hurt you would even think we were gossiping.”
Sunset’s withering stare continued, unabating.
The Princess sniffed, and looked away.
“… I was just sharing some your artwork I kept on my fridge…”
“Aha! I knew it! You old gossip… uh…” Sunset’s vindictive jubilation fell away as her ears flattened against her skull. Suddenly, her mouth was quite dry, and the room had risen considerably in temperature.
Sunset glanced, nervously, over to Starlight.
“She… she showed you my art?”
Starlight nodded. “And… a couple memories.”
Sunset’s eyes twitched.
“Um… she didn’t show you anything too embarrassing, did she?”
Starlight flashed her a smile, “No, don’t worry about that! There wasn’t anything too bad.”
“Oh? Oh…” Sunset smiled, relief flooding through her body, “That’s good. That’s really…”
“Though,” Starlight’s eyes sparkled, “I have to say, I’m so glad you grew out of that Blueblood phase. Flash Sentry really is a nice boy…”
Sunset slowly lowered her head, and looked at her hooves.
“Oh… no…” she groaned.
“Yes,” Sunburst bristled, “A nice… boy…”
“A boy…!?” Celestia’s eyes became like large, shining pools, and a rictus grin completely overtook her face, “Oh! Oh my! I… I can’t believe it!”
Sunset’s eyes, devoid of hope, glanced up in Twilight’s direction.
“You can send me to the moon, right? That’s in your job description now?”
Twilight flinched back at the dour tone in her friend’s voice. The Princess quickly looked around, before her ear began to twitch.
“I, uh… oh? Oh! Sorry, Sunset…” she started charging her horn, “What was that? I’m needed right away? Don’t worry! I’m coming, Spike! Gotta run!”
And with a pop, she was gone, leaving Sunset alone with her family.
“Coward,” she hissed.
“Oh, don’t worry so much,” Starlight pressed herself up against Sunset’s side, and began nuzzling their cheeks together, “Your moms are allowed to tease you, after all.”
Sunset was all set for a good glower… until her ears suddenly registered what Starlight had said.
“Moms?” she asked with special emphasis on the last, and most important, letter.
Celestia leaned down to better meet Sunset at eye level, and said, “Why, yes. We found it to be a most agreeable compromise.”
Sunset… didn’t know what to say to that. She looked to Sunburst, but found him just as perplexed by the situation as she was. So, she turned back to her… her two mothers, and began wondering at what sort of dark pact had taken place.
Both were just smiling at her.
Smiling wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Not after the last two days.
“Starlight?” she looked to the mare in question, “Are… are you really feeling okay?”
Starlight stared back. And, for a moment, Sunset would have believed her if she’d said ‘yes’ to that question.
But Sunset could see her eyes. And those were not the eyes of someone, or anypony, who could honestly answer that question. The smile didn’t reach them.
“No,” Starlight said, after a moment’s hesitation, “I’m not okay, Sunset. And… And I don’t think I ever will be.”
Sunburst took a tentative step forward, but halted as Starlight held up one hoof to stall him. Sunset knew from just the way he moved that he was practically aching to hold Starlight. Sunburst was almost tapping out his frustration through his hooves as he stood ready.
He wasn’t some brave, heroic soul. Not like his wife, or his child, or his friends. But, he knew the one he loved needed him, and he would have done anything to be there, in that moment.
Reminds me of a blue-haired guitarist I know…
Starlight took her own step, towards Sunset. With such deliberate slowness, as if Sunset were a flame that could burn her with a touch… or snuff out in an instant, she leaned in, and pressed the sides of their necks together in a loose, but no less warm, hug.
Sunset felt the warmth there, even the parts that weren’t physical. She leaned into the hug, and felt the lightest drop of moisture touch her mane as Starlight pressed her face into it.
Starlight whispered, her voice hoarse and broken, “I might spend the next week in bed. Or, I could cry my eyes out while checking sums or looking over an announcement for next term. I could just… shut down, and stare out a window for hours.
“But,” she breathed in, and took a step back. Her eyes watered, but even still, Sunset could see the little inner light pushing back the dark, “As long as I have you, today, I think I can… I’ll get better. One day.”
The two broke apart, and a moment of silent calm fell back over the castle. Sunset simply smiled, in the soft, sad way that she could when she knew the most… beautiful and important being in the world was in pain, and she couldn’t do anything about it.
Sunburst, finally, took a step forward, and coughed.
“Ah… perhaps we can do… something together?” he offered, “I mean, we still have a whole day left before the week starts again. I know you have classes…”
“Right, yeah,” Sunset shook herself out of her funk, and tried to smile more genuinely, “Um, I’m actually a little ahead right now, so we could…”
Starlight’s eyes shone like diamonds.
“Ice cream?” she asked.
Sunburst frowned. “Ice cream?”
“Ice cream!” Celestia cheered, “Oh! I’ve always wanted to try human ice cream!”
The Princess frowned, and blushed.
“Ah, I don’t mean human-flavored ice cream, you understand…?”
Sunset’s eyes flew open wide again.
“What!? Oh, wait, no…!”
Sunburst stamped his approval, “Oh! In the human world? Well, that would be splendid! Then, you could show us where you live!”
Starlight glanced over to him, and asked, "You think your mom or my dad might want to go?"
As Sunburst was about to calmly, and agreeably, shout down such a ridiculous concept, Celestia herself stepped in, with a genuine laugh, and said, "The more the merrier! I'll send a letter, and they can meet us here!"
Sunset looked back at Sunburst, her brain suddenly struggling to keep up, “I… wait, you…?”
“Well, at least we can look at all the art you’ve done,” he went on, accepting the general trajectory of his day from then on, “You can show us your pet, Ray… and we can talk about your coursework at the college…”
“Oh… you don’t want to listen to my problems all day…” Sunset tried to subtly take a few steps back, enough to snap off an emergency teleport. If she hurried, she could kill Twilight Sparkle for abandoning her to this fate, and then flee through the mirror before any guards could catch her.
Tragically, a large, white wing stopped her plan dead in its tracks.
“Come along, Sunset!” Celestia crowed, and began herding the newest Alicorn towards the Mirror room, “I want to try every flavor! Do they have cake flavor over there too?”
“Oh… joy…” Sunset groaned… though, not without a little smile creeping its way onto her face.
Sunburst made to follow them, when something seemed to snag the edge of his cape. He stopped, and looked back, expecting a lost book, or perhaps a misplaced candelabra holding his cape down.
Instead, he saw his wife.
“Starlight?”
She looked at him in a way that he found impossible to describe. There was love in her eyes, true. But it was a love tinged with every color of the rainbow of life. Sorrow. Regret. Happiness. Anger. Boundless joy.
Yet, somehow… he knew what she was about to say, before she said it. It was just something about that smile.
“Not today,” she said, quietly, “Not tomorrow. But… soon. One day, soon…”
She stopped. His lips had found hers, and their lightest pressure sent her heart fluttering like it did when she first met him. She closed her eyes, and let the memory take her away for a moment.
When he was done, Sunburst pressed his forehead up against hers, to where the base of their horns could touch.
“Yes,” he said, sadly, “I’d like another one, too.”
The two ponies smiled.
Then, hoof in hoof, they followed their daughter back into the castle, pulled along by thoughts of memories, of love, and of ice cream.
This shadow, after all, would pass. Sunset knew this. Celestia knew this. Sunburst and Starlight knew this. It would take time. It would take new memories to replace those lost.
And, it would take a triple scoop of mint and chocolate ice cream.
With sprinkles.
Starlight Glimmer and Sunset Shimmer will return, in...
The dramatic conclusion to the trilogy started by Midnight at the Crystal Library, and Home Again.
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Well, that was quite an emotional chapter, both for the pain and the joy they all find in one another. Starlight may never fully recover from this, but she can be better if she takes her time. And Sunset has lost and gained so much as well. Together they'll be able to get through this and make the most of it. Sunburst is definitely using his fatherly skills well here and Celestia is able to make peace with Starlight and both are able to share the joy of Sunset now. Time may have been lost, but stories and memories can be shared.
All aboard the feels train~!
Wonderful chapter, I honestly feel a little choke up after reading this. Can't wait for the sequel!
Let me preface this by saying that this was magnificently heart-wrenching. Now then:
When Celestia hears about birthday cake-flavored ice cream, she'll never want to leave. When she finds out it's just icing and sprinkles, she may never forgive humanity.
Perhaps Sunsets counterpart in the mirror world has also been born?
i.pinimg.com/originals/5e/af/8e/5eaf8eaa7734e962bd0ea385d647e69c.gif
That's more terrifying then time getting destroyed
Mom attack!!!
Some of?
This definitely made me cry
I LOVE THIS SO DAMN DAMN MUCH. PLEEAAAASE I BEG FOR MORE MOMLESTIA AND STARMOM I BEGEGGG AGHHGU
Isnt flash in highschool whilst technically Sunset is older than him by like a decade?
Disgusting on both ends
as Starlight*
Well, there's another thing to know they have in common!
Nope.
and Princess Celestia*
Is that sequel mentioned at the end still happening or has it been cancelled?