Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 4
By TDR
Twilight's Kraken,
Part, 1
Part, 3
[Canterlot, throne room, Monday]
Twilight did not know what to expect in truth. If it had just been Celestia, she might have figured another attempt at a vacation was going to be made. The scroll however was from both the sisters and it was short, making her worry that they might have already discovered something about another of the prophecy names.
As she and Spike strode into the throne room, mostly as Spike refused to let her go alone, and after the last few times she didn't disagree with him that much, they were both surprised to see the four figures there.
Princess Celestia and Luna of course, but also Princess Cadence, and Queen Chrysalis and she and Celestia were not trying to kill each other.
“This is serious.” Spike muttered looking between the two.
“Is it too much to ask that just once when I ask for just Twilight, I get just Twilight?” Celestia sighed.
“Pretty much.” Spike offered as Celestia sighed.
“We have a problem. A rather large one in fact.” Luna stated.
“The Crystal Empire was attacked this morning.” Cadence continued.
“What!?! By Who!? What happened where's Shining Armor!?!” Twilight demanded before Spike could get a word out.
“Shiny is fine Twilight, calm down, that's why Chrysalis and myself are here in truth.” Cadence placated
“Damn fine in fact.” Chrysalis purred.
“What happened?” Twilight stated again.
“Well.... Cadence started.
[Frozen North]
Tirek smiled as the city came into view. The place was massive, just as he recalled it, though the train station and resort were new, both were devoid of ponies. Though he could see plenty in the city itself hurrying around the streets as if their impending doom wasn't about to claim them.
Tirek strode forward with a grin.
And slammed face first into a nearly invisible shield.
“WHAT?!” Tirek snapped growling stepping back to rub his nose. He glared at the shield as it rippled from the impact. “I see. Fools.”
Tirek chuckled at the magic barrier before him poking it a little, what idiot thought a magic shield would stop him? The centaur opened his mouth and started to inhale the magic.
Except.
He wasn't.
Tirek blinked and looked at the shield in confusion before opening his mouth to try and drain it again, and again he gained nothing from it.
“What madness is this!?!” Tirek snapped punching the shield and wincing as his fist bounced off it.
“Hello.”
The centaur looked around, then down to a pony that only came up to his knee. A unicorn stallion with white fur and a blue mane with a splotch of black around his horn. The pony was dressed in some sort of crystal armor though with the markings on it he looked like some sort of noble or royalty.
“And who might you be?” the pony asked simply.
Tirek frowned and once more tried to drain the shield and the pony behind it to no effect.
“ Ahh I see. Well then vacuum sales pony. We have quite enough vacuums here, the representative from Rainbow came by a while back and I think we might have bought all his stock. I really need to give every pony a crash course in modern tech.” The white stallion considered. ”Also I probably should warn the diamond dogs here, they really hate vacuums.”
“I am not a vacuum sales pony, what ever that is, I am Lord Tirek!”
“That's nice.” The pony offered. “My name is Emperor Shining Armor Sparkle, and I am going to have to ask you to leave. We have a strict no soliciting policy out here in the snow fields.”
“Pah. As if you are going to be able to stop me from draining your magic pony.” Tirek growled punching the shield to less effect than his trying to drain it.
“Dunno . I seem to be doing pretty good so far. But then again I spent quite a few years training to resist magic drain with my brother. This sucking thing you're doing, it's just creeping me out. I know two very nice mares who do a much better job than you....”
“He did not say that!” Cadence snapped.
“He totally did!” Chrysalis laughed.
“Get on with it!” Twilight demanded.
“YES, Get on with it!!” Spike repeated.
“Any way we got word of your coming from a buffalo friend of ours. So I figured I could probably slow you down a bit so the rest of the city could evacuate or get to a shelter. But even better, it seems I can keep you out.” Shining shrugged.” Who knew.”
“You cannot keep this shield up forever unicorn.” Tirek growled.
“Wow, you do not know me at all do you?” Shining Armor shook his head with a smirk.
“I will find a way past this shield pony and I will crush you and drain your empire and there is nothing you can do to stop me.” Tirek snarled.” I have devoured gods, you are nothing.”
“Yeah, well I only have one thing to say about that vacuum sales pony... thing.”
“And what might that be, to beg for your life for obstructing me!?”
“No.”
“Then, what!?!”
“Fire.”
Tirek blinked at a sound like a rubber band snapping echoed loudly across the snowy plain he was on. Looking around he saw nothing, though he noticed that the sky was darkening. Looking up the centaur was greeted to a cloud of arrows, boulders, and ballista spikes raining down on him.
The massive centaur roared as the weapons hammered into him, though the sky darkening volley was only the first as bolts, boulders and ballista continued to rain down on him along with oil and and bottles of fire.
Despite being freed from their stasis for the last two years, the ponies of the Crystal Empire did remember what it was like in Sombra's rule, the six years the Prince was king saw the Empire under constant attack, as such the city had a large number of anti siege weapons. Which were not different from siege weapons, save the direction they pointed, as Tirek was finding out.
The centaur fell back still getting blasted and hammered by weapons that, while, they couldn't kill him, hurt like hell and had no magic for him to drain.
The fall back turned into a retreat as Tirek was still getting beaten by 95 kilogram stone projectiles over 300 meters from the shield.
“I will be back and crush you!!” Tirek bellowed.
“Cool, bring back a pizza.” Shining yelled after him.
“He did not say that.” Cadence huffed.
“Did so, swear to Celestia's fat ass.” Chrysalis stated putting a hoof on Celesta's flank.
The solar princess raised and eyebrow, then set the bug on fire.
“Any way.” Cadence offered ignoring the screaming of Chrysalis. “The plan that he had, that he did without permission by the way, was to stall Tirek and let everyone else get away. But it turned out Tirek couldn't drain his shield Now that Tirek has moved on Moon Dancer is prepared to cast her alicorn hiding spell on the empire if he comes back, she can't hold it for long, but it will keep him away if he manages to gather enough power to crack Shining Armor's shield. Which brings us to you.”
“Tirek is on his way here to Canterlot to drain us. We cannot let the power of the sun and moon be taken, even a day where the cosmic cycle does not progress is enough to cause damage. If we are drained it may be months before the cycle could be restored.” Celestia offered.” Going by how Shining Armor is immune to Tirek's drain, and my own notes from you and Rahs growing up, we know it wouldn't have an effect on you either.”
“I'm not a barrier specialist like my brother though, I don't think I could put up a shield over all of Canterlot.” Twilight frowned.
“They don't expect you to put up a shield Sparkle. They expect you to take their portfolios and keep the sun and moon spinning.” Chrysalis sighed.
“That....... is one of the stupidest things I have heard in a long time.” Twilight deadpanned. “I mean how would that even work? You can't figure out how to make a pony your familiar, but you can pass off a portfolio like a trading card?”
“We agree it is dumb.” Luna huffed.
“To be fair it was not something we had heard of . Passing off one's power means giving up being a god, and there's no set guarantee that the powers what is would allow it to be returned, or even passed to where it was supposed to go in the first place.” Celestia explained.” Cadence however has brought to our attention a way that will allow us to transfer the power of the spells entirely while still being able to get them back.”
“How?” Twilight blinked
“That would be me.” Chrysalis sighed.” It's something I figured out Changelings could do a while back.”
“I ask again, HOW?” Twilight demanded.
“Well when a mommy alicorn and a mommy changeling decide to get their freak on, and ...”
“STOP! NOT WHAT I MEANT!”
“Look Sparkle we don't have time for me to get the thousand bit word explanation if it. Just know that as a changeling I can transfer magic as a whole from one pony to another without being able to keep so much as a Thraum of it myself. Perils of being a creature powered by emotion from another dimension. I can't absorb or create 'real' magic.” Chrysalis explained. “I've done shit in the past like this as a party trick, normally I would expect you to explode from having all this crap dumped into you, but you're the goddess of magic so I bet you can take some more.”
“Why? Can't you just run?” Spike asked.
“To be fair we expect Tirek will attack and kill ponies until he gets what he wants and there is not enough time to evacuate Canterlot.” Celestia sighed. “By passing on our magic, he might get us, but he won't get the power from us. He has already claimed Iinii, Bleu, Fledge and several other gods. He may not be able to kill them, but they have been rendered powerless. What ever the last god he drained had in their portfolio, he can use.” I for one am glad he never got a hold of Discord.”
“Granted no one's even seen him for a few weeks.” Cadence offered. “I suppose he is hiding.”
“We know where he is.” Luna scowled her ears flat to her head.
[ Three nights ago]
Discord and Sonata ran past the boat carrying large rocks.
After a moment they ran back.
Then they ran past again carrying more rocks.
Adagio and Aria watched them curiously as the pair giggled like mad.
“Do I want to know?” Adagio questioned.
“Likely not.” Aria nodded.
[ Three nights ago.]
Luna stared up at the silvery orb of her moon, one ear twitching and her eyes narrowed.
Spelled out on the surface of her moon, in what she assumed was a large gathering of rocks, was the phrase, 'Moonbutt is an emu.'
“We will kill him.” Luna growled spinning her moon around so the words faced out into space.
The other alicorns and Chrysalis looked at Luna with some worry as the mare growled to herself.
“What about Teacup, Tirek's magic doesn't bother breezies?” Twilight asked.
“For at least a month after the migration Teacup vanishes somewhere to sulk. “Luna sighed “ We have no idea where Teacup even is right now.”
“At any rate the crystal empire will be the last bastion for the council to gather and figure out how to put a stop to this. Right now we are bait really. But the sun and moon must continue to rise and set.” Celestia explained.
“And what about Cadence, why is she giving me her power too” Twilight asked.
“You know love makes the world go round. And love, baby makes the seesaws go up and down.
And it makes trees grow tall ….”
“Yes, yes, we get it Cadence ..” Spike stopped the song. “So are you gonna do this Twilight?”
“I suppose so. These are all valid points if I can actually get a handle on that much power.” Twilight sighed.
“Spike I have an important job for you as well. This is going to take a bit of time I need you to go to Ponyville and make sure Sunset goes into hiding.”Celestia pointed out.
“Sombra as well.” Luna offered.
“Ditto for Saturnia. Changelings can't be drained but my daughter is only half changeling.” Chrysalis offered.” Tell her it's a direct order.”
“Will she listen to that?” Spike questioned.
“She will. Unlike lard ass here I kept good relations with my foal.” Chrysalis grinned glaring at Celestia and pretending not to notice Luna's wince. “Now if only I can get Cady to hang out with her more.”
Cadence rolled her eyes.
“We shall send you back young Spike. Be careful of who you tell what you learned here as we do not wish Tirek to find out about family he can threaten for our power.” Luna offered.
“Right good luck Twilight.” Spike nodded as he and Luna vanished in a flash of light only for Luna to return a moment later having dropped Spike off in Ponyville.
[ Later Golden Oaks library.]
Spike exhaled as he finished the recap.”.... So that's what's going on. I need to let Rahs know as soon as he gets back.”
The former Element Bearers and Sunset looked to one another then back to Spike.
“Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I think so Brain, but burlap chaffs me so.” Sunset muttered.
”Narf.” Pinkie Pie giggled.
“That Ponyville will be ground zero for a massive fight when Twilight gets pissed off?” Rarity asked.
“That tomorrow is Tuesday, so it's a sure bet that's when it will happen?” Fluttershy pointed out.
That there have been far too few songs in this episode?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Right, Ah'll get the town ready, we need tah git every one intah tha shelters. Rarity let Sombra and Jynx know. Pinkie go find Saturnia and tha changelings an let them know.” Applejack began. “Fluttershy git yer critters secured, Dash ah need yah tah warn tha surrounding towns just in case. Tell um ah sent yah so they dun question if yer pranking um. Alright now we only got a bit of time, Sunset you should prolly git an take Spike with yah, both of yah are demigods and we dun need this guy draining yah.”
“Nuts to that, I'm not going any where.” Spike huffed before yelping as Sunset picked him up with her magic.
“No problem. I have something to check out myself and having Spike along might help”Sunset offered cryptically.” Be sure to lock up before you go.”
“Don't you dare, this is dragon napping I'll....” Spike shouted.
With a flash of light Spike and Sunset were gone from the library.
“Well..... okay.” Applejack blinked. “ That was easy.”
Only until you give them a good reason for just Twilight to come
So Shining was being a badass, that explains why Chryssie was so worked up
I kinda do
Oh so that's what they were doing
Most likely
Probably
True, gonna have to figure out a way to remedy that
Either somebody better drop Golden Oaks down a well, or theres going to be a Tirek shaped hole clean Through the moon tomorrow.
Especially if Sunset has mentioned to Twilight the name,
Saitama?
Spike: Don't tell anyone about Tirek? Fuck that. I'mma Tell everyone
I can picture what Rarity will say to Sombra in the next chapter:
Rarity: Sombra, darling, pack your suitcase with Mane Shampoo & Conditioner #4, Fur Shampoo #1, Fur Conditioner #5, your bottle of red horn polish #12, the fancy suit I made for you last week, the robe I made for you last month, that thousand year old cloak you use to sneak around Ponyville in the dead of night to abscond with treats from Sugarcube corner that is the worst kept open secret in Ponyville, three clean dress shirts, that top hat you know I like, your sword, your red white and blue star throwing shield, that armor I know you’ve been forging at the blacksmith in secret, four sets of hoof cuffs, a blindfold, your toothbrush, mouthwash, two weeks worth for chocolate for the average pony, and that camera sweetie Belle and her friends got you two months ago when they roped you into their “Cutie Mark Crusaders Photojournalists” shenanigans.
Sombra: Dare I ask why we are going on a trip to Las Pegasus?
Rarity: Do you want me to spoil the surprise before we get to the Ritz’s Chrystal Palace penthouse or are you going to pack?
So many songs? I only remember "You'll Play Your Part". Are you sure you're not thinking of "Magical Mystery Cure"?
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In other words a date night for the both of them and making sure if everything goes right they have something to play with
I call suing twilight for property damage
Lol
Oh she should know nothing is that easy/simple with her aunt already
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Half called it, though in my case it was for Twilight, not Spike. Still counts though, I think.
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One Punch Mare?
oh boy im starting to feel bad for tirek worst is he doesn't even know what will hit him
I get the feeling that the big curb stomp is going to go in the opposite direction what with how Tirek's interaction with shining went
This chapter was pretty funny even if the tone at points were serious with Tirek's dangerous actions.
The Pinkie & The Brian joke was hilarious.
And thus we are now one step closer to the MLP equivalent of a DBZ fight. I wonder how pissed this version of Tirek is gonna be when he confronts the literal GODDESS OF MAGIC and he can't steal her powers with his magic sucking abilities cause since she was a filly she had a magic eating dog feeding off of her with a stronger pull than what Shining had on him and he couldn't affect Shining's MAGIC barrier. Then again I mainly wonder if he'd even want to get the 'God of Tuesdays' portfolio should he actually manage to do that with Twilight and then be ruling the world cause if he did that meant that every Tuesday of his rule he'd have some huge issue he'd have to deal with that could range from a massive sports fan brawl to some Cthulhu looking thing descending on the world. And before you say 'That last one hasn't happened in this series' I know it hasn't BUT that doesn't remove it from the possibility wheel. It's just a small area like the '1 million' space on Wheel of Fortune.
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Difference between shining and twilight is that shining trained himself to be able to resist magic draining of his shield as he (quite rightly) saw it as a useful skill for his chosen career. I don’t believe twilight did that style training, instead because she got a constant magic drain going on her wellspring in so large that when tirek goes to drain her it’ll be a “here have it all” moment and go pop
I just had a thought, shouldn’t shining armour and spike be gods as well? I know spike has the demigod mcguffin that could explain why he’s not, but if as what happens directly to rahs happens to the rest of the sparkle wmd’s. Is rahs a god in his own right or is he a god because twilight’s a goddess?
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Twilight checked. Only she and Rahs are gods. Forgot the chapter i mentioned this though
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Thanks, is the godhood magic one of/the exemption to the sparkles link then?
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It works on individuals . Rahs did get dragged along this time because his link with Twilight is odd and when the magic exploded her it exploded him too. Otherwise there would be a god Moon Dog for every god that accencded , and thus far there's only Rahs.
"WHITE why are the cor. You sent me for the middle orbit of the planet? Yes I'm set to turn ugly into a googlblitz black hole only question I have is what... White I told you I rather NOT get skinned alive again no I don't care if Sparkle would use it as a shirt...ok ok but you can explain to sunbury WHY Sparks not only got hold of the black hole but the info to make it in to a power plant for the town."
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I guess someone forgot best pet? Sure, he had only 2 occurences, but Glub Glub still is the perfect goldfish for this family.
I didn't know Shining like pizza. I thought he like hayburger like his sister. Still, there are too many memes about Cadance and pizza. Why it has to be pizza though?
Welp, you know something is serious when you can put Celestia and Chrysalis in the same room and they don't try to kill each other.
God:
”GET ON WITH IT!”
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Old throw back to the pizza guy and hot girl who cant pay, porno i expect.
Wait, someone get Pinkie, we need Shoggoth's Milk once more
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*spittake* you sON OF A -
When did this happen?
And now I'm imagining Shining becoming the God of Shields.
Yeah.... any time these two are within sight of each for more then five seconds, and there is not blood, viscera, and/or scorch marks all over the place....something really damn serious has happened.
Pffffffffttttttttttttttttt I see those two mares are rubbing off on him.....
But... yeah he has dealt with Rahs all his life so he would have dealt with not letting his shields be drained.
So serious..... but not SUPER serious. Still... badass Shiny! And yeah...... it's going to be hard to impress him after all the shit he's dealt with.
Okay so....this plan makes more sense then it did in canon..... yeah for all I defend things that do make sense.... this one was... not UTTERLY stupid but rushed and not well explained at all. Also, so.... would she just get the Sun and Moon powers,and leave Celestia and Luna still Goddesses, but with reduced power and only their other portfolios, or full mortal and need to watch out for squishing? Still, this is Twilight Tuesday Sparkle, just pump her up with all the power you can and turn her on Tirak to make with the beat down.
And..... Emu? Run out of rocks to close the u into an o? Cuase, Emu's are badass.
Yeah... they are all genre savvy bu this point. Alright everypony into the super reinforced Tuesday shelters!
So...how is this going to go..... still make the whole 'friends for magic' trade? And, does all she really need to do is delay him till the other gods get off their asses and team up to deal with him?
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The emu joke is from all the way back in season 2 prologue where discord mixed up emo and emu. I've used this joke twice now.
YEEESSSSS TREBUCHET LOVERS UNITE!
To be fair the canon explanation was stupid as presented.
"So instead of splitting up and hiding at far corners of the planet so that even if Tirek can track us down it'll take him forever to get all of us, we're going to put all out magic into you, thus giving him a single target. Then you go hide, but we won't do anything to help keep you hidden (not that it matters since Discord knows all about you and is helping him), and also don't tell your friends so THEY can make themselves scarce instead of sitting around so they can be captured and used as hostages."
Honestly it's probably number 2 on my list of Canon!Celestia's stupidest plans (The Crystal Empire being number 1)
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return of the crystal empire, when Shining whent Rapidash and Chrushed the Dreadnought to dust.
300 referance
Shining Armor is quite badass... Rahs has really massiv effects on on everyone
Cant Rahs and wolfed Jack nom nom Tirek into submission? Like with Rarity...
What a desaster... Just good Chrysalis saves the day... Kinda, sorta...
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Maybe how it ends this time. though i'm more expecting a whole lotta moondogs turn into witch-wolves. just a guess tho.
Someone call staples
I'm dying!!!!!!!! LoL
Love Shinings lines and Chrysalis jokes ♡
Wait, what's this part about being from another dimension? or have I missed/forgotten something about changeling origins in the TGaP universe?
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Starswirl drove a nail into a tree and the goo that became changelings leaked out in the comic.
Power levels are bullshit...Example:
Hm... why can't Celestia use a telescope to orbital solar canon the shit out of Tirek?
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But where come the other dimension to play in it? Was the Tree in a mirror world or something?