Plecostomus Twilight Sparkle, Part 3
Twilight Get's a Puppy
Season 4
By TDR
Plecostomus Twilight Sparkle,
Part 3
“That's the report Princess.” The Guard Captain bowed
“I'm surprised there wasn't more.” Twilight frowned looking at the few sheets she had been given.
“There generally isn't Princess.” Raven offered.” Princess Celestia is only informed of any major events in the week as reported in to the Castle Guard.”
“To be fair Princess, aside from a few small things of note, like the riots and fighting that sprang up in Wilmingtrot and on a Minotaur freighter in the south east there's been nothing to report. Though I fully expect that to change due to the current panic going on over the sun and moon.” the Guard Captain stated.
“Thank you Captain. Might I suggest that you send a few experts in enchantment and enscrolment to investigate the ship and the port town, just to make sure it's not some cursed mcguffin washed up from a storm or something. Keep an eye out for anything similar we are still two things away from being done with the prophecy at least. I hope it's nothing, but well suspect everything.” Twilight sighed.
“Already have Princess. Princess Celestia gave us similar orders in regard to the prophecy.” The Guard Captain saluted and trotted off.
“Alright I guess we should get started with the first petitioner.” Twilight grumbled looking at the table Raven had brought out stacked high with papers.” Who's first?”
“That is up to you Twilight. Princess Celestia tends to go with level of importance. Though we don't have time to review and sort that now.” Raven frowned.
“Alright.” Twilight considered. “ Start us with a non noble petitioner, then we'll go with a noble's. Lets see, base them on the fifth and eighth numbers of the petition number as their placement, in the event of a tie use the first number and so on until a number is higher.” Twilight offered, her horn glowing as the massive stacks of papers launched into the air floating before her rapidly being sorted as she looked over the numbers printed on the corners of the page. “All the T ranked ones are nobles right?”
“Yes Twilight.” Raven blinked as everything sorted and rearranged itself before settling back in neat stacks on the table.
“Okay that should do it.” Twilight let out a pleased sigh. “Nothing like a bit of cataloging to take the mind off all the crap I'm gonna be dealing with. Can't I just yes or no on the forms without meeting them?”
“I'm afraid not Twilight. On the plus side, your reordering will keep any pony from trying to use two petitions in a row for more time.”Raven offered.
“Right any word from my brothers?” Twilight asked hopefully.
“Last word was Sunset and Sombra wanted breakfast. No more delays please.”Raven frowned.
Twilight groaned.” Alright send in the first one I guess.”
“Okay Spike.” Sunset Shimmer asked as she munched on a piece of toast. “ I gotta ask...”
“Hmm?” Spike questioned dropping a clawful of gemstones provided by kitchen into his cereal.
“How was what I said when I woke up, the fourth most intimidating thing you've heard?” Sunset asked. “What was worse than that?”
“Oh... well you did win the most vile cringe worthy threat I've heard, which should be impressive given I run a O&O game for a bunch of preteens.” Spike offered.
“O&O?”
“Ogre's and Oubliettes?” Spike offered.” You create a character and go on adventures. You never heard of it?”
Sunset blinked considering.” Sounds like Dungeons and Dragons.”
“That sounds more like one of Cadence's games that no one talks about in polite company.” Spike frowned.
“Fair enough.” Sunset shrugged putting jam on another piece of toast. ”So what were the threats?”
“Well.” Spike offered as he crunched on his gem cereal. “Rahs still has number three, and all he did was quote something about eating my liver from some story about quiet sheep or whatever, but it still freaked me out.”
“Okay.”
“The second was Cadence. I can't remember why I was waking her up , but she didn't even say anything she just growled at me.”
“She growled?”
“Yeah this low rumbling growl that sounded like it came from Tartarus itself. It shook all my teeth and scales with the vibration.” Spike shuddered.
“Cadence?” Sunset asked.
“Yes.”
“Pink alicorn?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then.”Sunset sighed. “What's number one?”
“Shining, when he threatened to kill my paladin.”
“Your paladin? Is that a game character?”
“You know how much time and effort I put into that character, and Shining was just gonna off him for a couple more minutes of sleep!?”Spike flailed.
Sunset stared at Spike a moment before sighing. “I think your threat assessment skill is off.”
[Case 1]
The music came to a screeching halt as the two unicorn ponies stopped dead staring at the pony sitting on a couch before the throne.
Twilight stared back at the two yellow unicorn brothers and smiled.
The two stallions blinked.
Twilight fanned her wings a little.
Flim and Flam tipped their hats and sashayed right back out the door sans musical accompaniment this time.
“Well.” Raven sighed. “Here's hoping they can all be that quick.”
“FUZZY'S A GOD!?” Trixie shrieked.
“For bucks sake mare, do you have volume control!?!” Sombra cursed, glaring at her from over his stack of pancakes.
“Well excuse me if this is big news. Princess Luna has been keeping me out of the loop of most things and grilling me on magic all night, every night to try and train me.” Trixie explained.
Spike sighed pouring another bowl of cereal and gems. Sunset and Rahs seemed ready to throw down as a plate of bacon was brought out.
“All night every night and a ten year old foal is still further along with some of her teaching than you are.” Sunset snarked and she and Rahs started dueling with fork's over the bacon pile, neither managing to get the upper claw or hoof in order to snag more than one or two pieces at a time.
“At least Trixie knows spells that do not have fire in them.”Trixie scoffed sipping her coffee.
“Hey. I know spells that don't have fire in them!” Sunset protested, her horn glowing brighter as she added a second fork into the melee, forcing Rahs to duel wield forks to keep up.
“Like what?!” Trixie demanded.
“Espoir!” Sunset stated proudly as she added a third fork in her magic only for Rahs to knock it away with his tail sending the steel utensil soaring through the air to embed into a wall.
“A blood magic healing spell that literally burns toxins and disease out of the blood stream.” Trixie pointed out.
“Sketches etch...” Sunset added. Managing another piece of bacon as the dueling forks started throwing up sparks as the two fought each other off both trying for the biggest portions of bacon.
“A rather artistic spell that is primarily used in wood burning artwork or searing letters into metal with extreme heat.” Trixie grinned.
“Are they always like this?” Spike asked Sombra.
“No, but the blue one is looking to impress your brother for some reason and my cousin is looking to be difficult.” Sombra explained as he saturated his pancakes in syrup.
[Case 23]
Twilight pressed both her hooves together against either side of her temples, hoping against hope that she could perhaps will her head to be squished like a grape. She let out a long sigh and opened her eyes again looking at the nondescript brown maned and lighter brown furred mare who was standing before her.
“Let me get this straight Miss....”
“Portland.” The mare answered.
“Miss Portland. What you are trying to tell me, is that.... peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, are racist.” Twilight expressed the words like they had coated her tongue with something foul.
“Yes.”
“And you want the crown to fund a study. So that you can prove ...”
“That peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist, yes.”Portland agreed.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Portland stated.
“First off the obvious question. How can a sandwich be racist?”
“It's more of a pony privilege not every culture makes sandwiches some have pita or thicker bread the minotaur use I'm not sure what it's called...”
“It's called bread, potato bread to be exact. Second off you do realize that peanut paste was invented by the Yaks who found that the gooey mess they made from smashing peanuts was delicious. Jelly or fruit preserves were first invented and documented as such by a Romane Griffon named Marcus Gavius Apicius. And bread has been around since wheat was domesticated and grown, and it was one of the first crops EVER to be domesticated back in the ancient pony days in what is now Saddle Arabia. Heck the only part of a sandwich that could even be considered Equestrian enough to be a pony invention is SLICED BREAD, because we only invented an automated slicer just shy of a hundred years ago.”
“Well, see that is a perfectly legit reason why...
“NOPE!” Twilight stated. “ No, flat out, no. Get out.”
“But.”
“Do you not understand no? I will not sign off on such a dumb project. I will certainly not allow it to be funded. And I am making a note to have your tenure on the board of education investigated. For some pony who is supposed to promote higher learning, that you refuse to even research your proposal before putting it forth does not fill me with any sort of confidence that you are fit for your position.”
“But...”
“You may go now.” Twilight stated flatly.
“But...”
“Guards, make sure Miss Portland can find the door.” Twilight stated. Two of the guards move from the sides of the throne ushering the still attempting to protest mare out.
“Twenty three cases already Raven.....” Twilight muttered.
“Well you are certainly blowing through them.” Raven nodded.
“There have only been two that needed any sort of royal input.” Twilight explained.
“Well yes.”
“One of those was the Royal Gardener who wanted to know if Celestia wanted the sunflowers on the eastern side of the garden or the southern.” Twilight muttered.
“Well it was important.” Raven sighed.
“Raven... it has been over an hour. Where the buck are my idiot brothers with Sombra and Sunset?” Twilight demanded.
Rahs raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the mass in the hall before him.
Spike tilted his head staring in awe.
Trixie and Sunset were still arguing with each other particularly since Trixie's interference allowed Rahs to get more of the bacon.
Sombra just looked annoyed.
Crossing in front of the group, filling the hall way as they made their way between the castle's moat and the inner castle gardens were hundreds upon hundreds of slowly waddling ducks.
“What the duck?” Spike asked.
“Discord pranked Celestia by filling her room with baby ducks one morning.” Sombra explained. “She didn't want to get rid of them while they were so young.... and now … they are pampered guests who get a red carpet escort between the pond and the moat rather than just be fed to a griffon ambassador or something.”
“Wuff.” Rahs shook his head.
“I know, just when you think you've seen everything.”Spike sighed.
[Case 73].
“I'm afraid i don't have the authority to approve this as it would go against a ruling made by Princess Celestia specifically.” Twilight offered looking over the paper work before looking up at the red maned changeling stallion standing before her.
“I understand Princess, but i would still like your idea on the proposal so I might alter it to be more favorable for when Princess Celestia returns.” Atta nodded lightly.
“Well I don't see any issue with it myself. This just seems an assurance that if a changeling is revealed property that they can prove they own is still theirs. There are a lot of legal parts here I only half understand regarding the law in terms of a criminal or foal support case.......”
Twilight continued the conversation for a bit wondering what the heck had happened to her brothers.
“Woof.” Rahs frowned looking down at the pile of ash before him that used to be a collection of black roots covered in thorns. The small group had come out to have a look at the spot the Guard pointed out had been tunneled into under the Princesses' balconies.
They had barely made it to the edge of the hole when the roots launched out and tried to grab Rahs.
This was a mistake.
Between Spike, Sunset, Trixie, Sombra, and the collection of Guards around, the roots barely managed to wiggle in Rahs' direction before being hit with a good dozen spells and a gout of dragon fire.
“ Well. It seems we know what happened to Celestia.” Sombra grumbled watching one of the roots that they had missed try to wiggle up after Rahs.
“ They're focused on Rahs, so it's a safe bet they are designed to capture gods. They ignored the two demi gods here to go after him specifically.” Sunset hummed to herself.
“Spike is a demi god as well, but Trixie agrees, Fuzzy needs to be protected.” Trixie agreed.
“I think we should check on Twilight before something like this comes after her.” Spike offered.
“Ruff.” Rahs pointed out.
“You can smell the Princesses' magic but it's dulled? What about the roots?” Spike asked.
“Wuff.” Rahs frowned.
“No scent at all? “ Spike crossed his arms.
“They also drew in some of my magic, unless that was Rahs.” Sunset pointed out.
“No that was the roots. The beasts draw on spells is different. This was less subtle and felt more like am attempt to drain outright before it was over loaded with power.” Sombra considered.
“That would explain how they were grabbed. If these things seek gods and drain magic.” Sunset considered.” But where did the roots come from?”
“Perhaps we should inform Twilight before they go after her?” Trixie offered.
A massive explosion rocked the castle grounds sending a number of guards into a panic. Sombra and Sunset jerk around looking for the threat. Trixie simply follows the Sparkles lead, neither of them seem impressed.
“ I think we left Twilight alone too long.” Spike sighed.
[Case 117]
Raven decided that if this ever happened again, she would most certainly go with Sweetiebelle. Things had been going rather well too. Even the reaction to Posh Posh of the Posh family showing up was met with surprising calm by Twilight.
That she punted him out the door personally, non withstanding.
Currently there was a crater in the middle of the marble floor, about two feet in front of the throne where a lilac and rose maned pony stood with a few other ponies behind her. To be fair to Twilight the blast of magic seemed a more surprised reaction than anything else. The crater used to be the pamphlet that the group had given Twilight. The pressure the alicorn had exerted on the parchment made it implode.
“What did you say?” Twilight demanded.
Raven wondered if this small group of ponies was brave or stupid.
“We wish for a royal ban of the book To Kill a Mockingbird. Such filth does not belong any where near proper books.” The lead mare stated.
Raven mentally checked off the box in her mind listing this one as 'stupid'.
“You want to ban a book..... and have it royally banned. Something reserved for the most dangerous tomes there are. Things that can corrupt and defile or cause actual harm to the reader.” Twilight frowned. “ Why... do you want To Kill a Mockingbird banned?”
“Because it makes ponies uncomfortable.”
“THAT IS THE POINT OF THE BOOK!”Twilight screamed.
“So you won't permit the ban?” the mare scoffed.
“No.” Twilight shook her head.
Raven blinked in surprise, she had expected Twilight to go off on this group. Yet she was dealing with this with a surprising amount of calm.
“Well I suppose we shall simply need to take it on our selves to gather up these foul tomes and burn them ourselves.” the mare stated flatly.
Raven didn't even wait. She flipped the table over sending paperwork flying and dove behind it casting every protection spell she knew.
Twilight twitched.
Rahs, Spike, Sunset, Trixie, and Sombra moved into the shattered remains of the throne room.
The marble floor was destroyed, several pillars were knocked over and the twin thrones of night and day were blown against the back wall.
A comfy looking recliner sat in the middle of the room untouched, though before it a trio of ponies were being loaded on to stretchers muttering incoherently about 'the horror'.
Raven was sitting off to the side draped in a thick blanket and being offered some coffee by one of the guards.
Twilight was smoldering still.
“Woof?” Rahs asked.
“They wanted to burn books...” Twilight snarled.
“And you let them live? You're self control is improving.” Spike nodded.
Sunset and Sombra glanced to each other, then slowly backed out of the room. It would be safer to simply remain in their rooms until the whole thing blew over.
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Yes, say that in front of the literal goddess of books
At the rate it is going between Sunset and Sombra, I wonder if something will happen between those two.
I wouldn't be surprised if the reason the plunder vines did not go after Twi yet is that they have been close by and are just too terrified to approach her
Sombra and Sunset, the only Ponies with high enough Self Preservation Instincts to get the fuck away from the Sparkles, Twilight Specifically, in the entire castle.
10036904
They tried , they couldn't get through the wards on the library.
Wait... the root drain magic? How that even gonna work with Rahs who is a natural magic eater?
Her self control will ultimately be tested at the end of Season 4.
10036911
Ohhh, right. Forgot about that
10036870
they went full retard
pl.scdn.co/images/pl/default/93c931f0717b98c61e4b0afe4fe26d1f41483a9d
10036926
I'm honestly kinda surprised she didn't call a crusade on book burners by now.
There’s no way Twilight won’t grab them both with her magic and yank them back into the throne room. They don’t get a say in escaping this misery.
10036907
They won’t get far. Neither Twilight, Rahs, nor Spike will let them get far.
look like the two royal dimigods have more brains then most of the world.
that there should put them into full godhood
10036921
no i say more near mid way to the end, not at the end.
Ladies and gents, I think we've found people that have earned themselves the top tier on Twilight's list.
You are both smarter than you look!
Is that duck joke a reference to that place (in New Orleans I think?) that does a daily red carpet duck walk to the foyer fountain? That's a fucking pull if it is.
is that last word supposed to be ensorcellment?
I am light headed, my sides are killing me and my throat is dry and sore but considering the last of this chapter, how could I not?
10036966
"You wanted to rule Equestria didn't you? Consider this your internship"
Although to be fair Sombra already has experience ruling.
this is way better that the original episode.
So how large is the crater going to be once the Sparkles find out this is all Discords fault?
With the whole gathering books to burn especially that one...im more surprised that twilight didn't scorch them considering books are part of her portfolio
10037100
To be fair, they were probably made to deal with Celestia, so maybe just shouting?
Twilight should have arrested those book burners.
Something I always ask when I read about this episode... What about Cadence? she is a Princess, call her to replace Celestia
You're threatening a goddess's portfolio to her face, use what minuscule time you have left to pray that your death will be too swift to feel
^
Nope, he has priorities
...just because I like romantic comedies I'm gonna say that Sunset being difficult is also because of Rahs
You live in Ponyville, shouldn't you know better by know ?
Geez you think
Probably the later
As you should
That's only on the surface
Thank you
And there's proof that they're only demi gods, they, unlike their parents, are actually capable of learning
10037339
She's the sovereign of another nation now. She's quite thoroughly removed herself from Equestria's line of succession. Also likely too far away to be bothered by the vines, though you are right that she should have at least been contacted.
Well I'm glad to see this update though at first I thought it was a different story when I was linking at the notification for the stories I'm tracking
10037222
Nonsense. They declared they would burn books right in front of the goddess of books.
Summary execution is more than justified for such a crime.
10037549
Death would be too quick a release.
I'm sure we can find a lake of soul-burning brimstone around Tartarus somewhere for them to get dipped in.
10037444
And Twilight is not a 'Princess' as she is not crowned so it's not like it's important, she could leave the Empire to Shining and take Canterlot for a time
1. Omae wa ma shinderu
2. Good book, give it a read, and anyone who wishes to crucify it shall be placed upon the crucifix instead of the book.
And I think Sunset clearly hasn’t spent enough time around the Sparkle siblings.
Anothrr amazing chapter!
10037549
Twilight could probably argue it was self-defense.
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."
Fun fact; the sound Anthony Hopkins made at the end of that line was complete improv and he did it just to freak out Jodie Foster, which it did.
You just said that...in front of Twilight...the Goddess of Friendship and Books! Do you want to explode?!
Also, Raven has very good threat assessment and survival skills.
Yes finally finished catching up and yes burn all books. They are evil!!!
10038167
perosnal I think there should been one last line of spike say something "you will learn once you get to ponyville"
The entire part about Sunset and Rahs fighting with forks over bacon, I can only imagine that entire scene playing out with Dueling Fates playing.
10036870
Yeah. I'm surprised she didn't kill them, quite honestly.
Can Twilight actually, legally call a SMITE down on the Vines?
dual
notwithstanding
scroll has two ls... Assuming you want enscrollment and not something else.
Yep
Sombra in a normal environment... this is just weird
I don't even remember what the story is about but I still refuse to have anything to do with it
No, I think he's got his priorities juuuust about right. Dude knows how to live with style.
Pancakes. Why is it always pancakes?
Everyone knows waffles are superior. They hold their shape, and syrup doesn't flow off of them, thereby reducing wasted syrup and reducing cleanup time.
Atta?
"PRINCESS ATTA, PRINCESS ATTAAAAAAA!!!"
Yeah. I'd murder someone, too.
This whole chapter felt eerily like common sense vs. the far left.
Sunset and Rahs duelling over bacon.
Were they attacking her hair?
Bah dum tsss...
I'll see myself out.
Alright, time for Twilight to make some nobles want to make damn sure she never has a reason to step into power again?
Yeah, shouldn't you know, quelling panic over that be top priority? Getting the word out to everypony.... and shouldn't a few of the the gods be stopping by to see what's up?
Ohhhhh.... Hi there Song Fishies!
Trying for Goddess of overly complex ordering systems while you are at it?
I wasn't even going to question it. He's lived with Twilight his whole life, and has been around some heavy shit. Also I'm sure his players have been very creative with their curses after a bad battle or unlucky trap find.
And somewhere in the Crystal Empire, Cadance perks her head up and has a sudden idea.
He did the full on voice and sounds as well, didn't he. Yeah, that one will creep people the hell out.
Wow..... I could buy that, but I'd assume only if you got between her and Shiny at some point. Not a morning pony either then?
No...no.. it's spot on..... that's the one that has the most likely chance of actually happening.
Hi Flim, hi Flam, going to even bother?
nopenopenopenopenopenope!
Yes, now process this quickly please. Also he i not fully out of your league. Sorry, but of the options, this is till the one I least like.
Well, can't blame them.
Note to staff, bring out two plates of meat whenever those two are around.
Or bring in Witchjack and just let them trash the whole room fighting for it.
So.... just slightly more exaggerated then normal. Yeah, those two, I do not see getting along well.
Well, you could..... but it wouldn't do you any good.
..............
..................
.....................
.... and yet, I'm sure someone, somewhere has made that argument.
You know...... I could buy it, except when did they get enough peanuts that far north to find that out? Or did they ship them in just cause smashing them open was so fun?
... Wish I could say I was surprised..... but hell, IRL we had a freaking Science Teacher get up at a town meeting, and argue that solar panels harmed the environment because they sucked up all the sunlight the plants needed to grow.
Seems about right.
Well played story, well played.
Well.... can't really fault her for taking care of the poor things.
And so we seethe start of the Royal Swanifying Ceremony?
So, not Alicorn specific, but going after any god? Or, is this Forthe pulling something and just too stupid to get it right?
But yeah.... is there anything lower then ashes given how many hair trigger flame users are all around him?
"Trixie will lock him up in her room to keep him secure, I will of course remain there as well to ensure he is kept protected at all times!"
Hmmm, so they drain fast enough to keep the Sisters weak enough to be caught, yeah that checks out.
Likely unrelated to the vines at all.
Still, if Rahs can't scent them....... Either they are tied to something with the Sparkles, have no innate magic of their own.. or something very odd is going on.
Ya think!?
Yeah... smart call.
See, that was a good reaction, it wasn't out the window instead.
..............
Yeah, that's a GREAT idea, let's ask the Goddess of Books to start banning books... that's going to go well!
I'd go with stupid Raven, it's either that or suicidal.
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Good protective instincts.
Yes it is. The room still exists for one thing.
Yeah, very smart move.
Ehhh, as funny as this stuff is, does feel odd to lead off with slow paced, Most of the active cast just messing around with a morning routine while Twilight trolls nobles, lack of really "Of Fuck!" reactions given, you know.... the sky is broken and the two being on whom all life on the plant depends on have vanished. Just, this is fun but, yeah could use a bit more focus on the actual threat.
"Do you really wanna play with Magic?"
10075590
To Kill a Mockingbird doesn't make "the far left" uncomfortable, it makes racists uncomfortable.
Racists have been doing their level best to purge school libraries of content that makes racists uncomfortable for more than a century.
From Time magazine about the United Daughters of the Confederacy:
EDIT: Quoted the part of the comment I was replying to.