Lessons

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 7 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 7
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Lore Horse

Lore Horse #1 · Jan 16th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Well it could be classified as Canon. That is if you make a sequel that takes place after the reunion birthday party, mainly because her reaction seemed a little over the top for just not showing up to a birthday party before Twilight left for ponyville. That said this is a good story and I would love to see a sequel.

accidentallyoffensive

accidentallyoffensive #2 · Jan 17th, 2020 · 3 · ·

This was a good read.
You get a thumbs up.
Just one thought though.... I mean I'm not a biologist or any thing but shouldn't them pony tiddies be a little further south of the border?

BlackShuck

BlackShuck #3 · Jan 18th, 2020 · · ·

10039028
I play by my own rules, man!!!
...at the same time, I might consider tweaking this more towards anthros in the future hahaha

accidentallyoffensive

accidentallyoffensive #4 · Jan 18th, 2020 · 1 · ·

10039634
I can respect that

Vauria

Vauria #5 · Jan 21st, 2020 · · ·

Felt kinda off to me, honestly. Like the internal dialogue didn't completely feel like Twilight, and their dynamic really didn't feel like what I remember from Amending Fences. Combine that with a lot of little actions and movements that sound really awkward for a quadruped, and I was half expecting to see a comment calling this out as some harry potter smutfic with the names and hands replaced.

Maybe I just set my expectations too high, the premise really hooked me and at a rating of 33:0 I was honestly excited. The "There isn't a colt, is there?" angle is a bit cliche, and kind of a let down when I was expecting something more honest and casual, more exactly like the "science experiment or something" mentioned. I was expecting more awkwardness in the act itself, instead they feel way more experienced than even the most well-read first timer should be... but I digress.

Technically not bad, though a handful of missing/mixed up words, and enjoyable to a degree. I'd say maybe commit to anthro/humanised or pure pony next time

Fylifa

Fylifa #6 · Jan 23rd, 2020 · 1 · ·

I liked the characterization of Twilight being the one that asks questions, but Moondancer only states statements and Twilight has to often suss out the meaning / questions behind them. They are both socially inept bookhorses, but like ~~recolor ponies~~ identical twins they’ve come up with their own kind of personal language and I like that a lot. Especially the gradual ramp to the spicy smutty bit starts.

Like the other commentator mentioned. I was also very thrown by the mention of tits past the collarbone. I mean not that tits are ‘bad’ thing, but it did make me go “Huh what?” and have to double check the tags again to see if I was reading anthro / humanized. It’s a minor thing, but it did throw me out of the mood. Sorry to say.

Also. I don’t want to be mean, but there were some typos in the text here and there. Enough that I want to suggest you take a closer re-read just to tidy things up. If you want I’ll PM them to you. I see it’s your second story though and it’s a great effort and premise. I hope you keep writing!

Lavender_Raindrops