• Published 22nd Aug 2012
  • 14,171 Views, 594 Comments

Changes - Comma-Kazie



After Ditzy Doo passes away, care for her children falls to her old friend, Rainbow Dash.

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02 - The Funeral

I don’t know how long we stayed at the hospital. I don’t remember going back to Redheart’s office, but at some point Dinky let go of me and blindly latched onto Sparkler. I’m not sure how long the three of us were in there, just holding each other. I know it was only a few hours, but it felt like years.

Eventually—finally—Dinky fell asleep, worn out from everything the morning had hit her with. Sparkler somehow helped me load her sister onto my back, and I wrapped a wing around her as we made our way out of the hospital. She tried to look down the hallway where her mom’s room wa—had been, but a gentle squeeze kept her trotting with me. Bad enough Dinky had seen … that. Sparkler whimpered and buried her head against my chest. I think she knew what I didn’t want her to see.

The sun was well overhead when we made our way out of the hospital. Dinky wiggled on my back when the mid-spring heat hit us, but she jostled in place a bit without waking up. Wake up... Celestia, that was a phrase I never wanted to hear again.

When we finally made our way out of the hospital, the sun was well overhead. The streets were mostly clear, but the way home took us by the town square. Applejack had her stand set up in its usual spot near the edge, and she and I very briefly caught each others’ eye. She looked at the fillies with me, saw my expression, and nodded understandingly. I just stared at her for a few more seconds as I walked past, then focused on going back home. I didn’t need to do anything else; I knew she could tell what had happened, and I knew that she’d fill the others in.

We got back to Dit—the house. Sparkler got the door for me, and I trudged through the mudroom and down the hallway to Dinky’s room. We laid her into her bed as gently as we could and closed the door behind us. Sparkler went right to her room while I turned left, back to the living room. Rows of pictures watched from the walls: Sparkler and Dinky with their mom, uncle, and grandparents at Hearthswarming. Dinky and Ditzy in their Nightmare Night costumes. Sparkler and Dinky lining up for the Sisterhooves Social.

As I went down the hallway, the pictures got older … Dinky perched on her mom’s head wearing Ditzy’s medal from the Best Young Fliers’ Competition. Sparkler walking a tearful Dinky to her first day of school. Sparkler looking to Ditzy as she showed her how to hold her three-year-old sister … I remembered taking that picture, that had been Sparkler’s first evening home after Ditzy adopted her. One of Dinky’s baths—Ditzy's dad, Klutzy, had insisted on showing his daughter the proper way to bathe a young filly. The picture was a perfect snapshot of him taking a hoof to the chin from a disgruntled grandfoal. Ditzy had promised she'd never let him live that down.

At the end of the hallway was one of the oldest pictures in the house. It was Ditzy, laid up in a hospital bed with her mane plastered to her face, holding a minutes-old foal against her chest. I stopped and stared at that picture. Had that really been just six years ago?

She looked so happy in that picture, for how tired she’d been. She was frozen in that image: a mom at twenty, basking in the presence of her newborn daughter, watching over her while she slept. It was so unfair.

I walked out into the living room. Dinky’s blanket, Favorite, was draped over the couch from where I’d left it last night. Celestia love her, she’d given it to me during my second week while watching them. I’d stayed on the couch for the entire time. Being groundside was so much warmer than I was used to in my cloud-house that even a cotton sheet was too much cover for me. Still, when Dinky lent me her blanket, there was no way I could turn it down. It made for a pretty nice pillow, really.

It was time to give it back, though. Dinky would want it back when she woke up. Well, she’d want a lot more than that, but... I took Favorite back to Dinky’s room and wrapped it around her as best I could, which basically meant that I remembered not to cover her face with it. A quiet gasp from elsewhere in the house reminded me that I still wasn’t done, so I made my way to Sparkler’s room.

She had her face buried in her pillow, and the covers shaking as she quietly wept. I walked in and sat down next to the bed, and stroked her mane in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. I remembered it used to work for Ditzy way back when... Sparkler eventually poked a single, bloodshot eye out of the pillow.

“Hey.” It occurred to me that there wasn’t much more for me to say. ‘How are you feeling?’ would probably be one of the dumbest things anypony could ask, but, dammit, I felt like I had to say something. “Can I get you anything?”

She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to. One pleading look told me the one thing, the one pony she wanted. It wasn’t quite as bad as hearing Dinky ask to go back to Ditzy, but still. I wanted to bring her mom back as much as she did. “I, um… Shout if you need anything, okay?”

Sparkler reached out for me—she was way too far away to grab me, but just seeing the motion made me stop where I was. “S-stay?”

She stared at me, her purple eyes red and messed up from crying. She was one step away from starting up again. There was no way I could say no. I climbed onto the bed and hugged her. “‘Course I’ll stay.”

I held her until she fell asleep. I don’t think it was more than an hour, but it felt like forever. When I felt her drift off, I eased my way out of the bed. I went back to the living room and flopped onto the couch.

I got up early the next morning. Even though I hadn’t been to work in over a month, I’d still gotten up at seven every day out of habit. It had given me enough time to fix breakfast for everypony—well, okay, pour cereal into bowls or take the stuff from Sugarcube Corner out of the icebox. Sparkler had done everything that required an oven or stove, and I gotta admit, that filly could throw together a pretty mean omelette. About the only thing I really knew how to make was coffee—cooking in a cloud-house required lightning clouds to provide heat, and I still hadn’t gotten the hang of gas ovens. I knew there was a trick to getting them to work, but somehow I doubted it involved a carefully timed kick.

I put the percolator on the stove and got it to a boil when somepony knocked way too loudly on the front door. I swore under my breath and flew through the living room as quietly as I could, hoping to get there before one of the girls woke up. I opened the door to find my fillyfriend staring back at me. Well, I guess she was technically my fillyfriend. She hadn’t exactly been clear about her interest in me on Hearts and Hooves Day, and even after that we’d only had a bit of time together before Ditzy checked in at the hospital.

“Pinks ... um, hey.”

“Hiya, Dashie.” Pinkie sounded as down as she looked. I hadn’t seen her mane this flat since she thought we’d abandoned her on her birthday.

I jerked my head. “C'mon in, I guess.”

Pinkie shut the door behind us and followed me to the kitchen. While I poured us both a cup of coffee, she set a pair of saddlebags onto the table. “So, I brought some super-yummy treats for you and the girls.” She pulled out a batch of cupcakes and offered one to me. It was one of her ‘Somepony’s sad so they need a cupcake to help cheer up’ cupcakes, a chocolate pastry with vanilla icing and sprinkled with little candies shaped like band-aids and broken hearts.

It was kinda weird, hearing her usual energetic choice of words when she was so down, and I blinked as they sank in. I hadn’t really thought about food. We’d been running low on cereal, and I think the icebox was pretty close to empty. I’d needed to get out to the market before too long, but I doubted I’d be leaving the house for days. Not after yesterday.

Pinkie’s mane wilted even more, and when I sat down she scooted her cushion next to mine.”I'm really sorry about Ditzy, Dashie.” I didn’t hug her back when she put a hoof around my shoulders, but I didn’t push her away either.

“Me too.” Dammit, I was starting to get stuffy. Yesterday, Dinky would’ve asked me if I’d caught aller-jeez. “Thanks.”

Pinkie gently shook me and rested her chin on my shoulder. “Dashie? It's gonna be okay, alright?”

I snorted indignantly. “Yeah, right.”

“Dashie…”

“No, no, perfectly fine. Just … like she said it would be.” I sat down and leaned against her. “And then...I found her .... like … and Luna dammit, Dinky found her first.”

“Oh, Dashie. I'm so sorry.” Pinkie kissed me on the cheek and stroked my mane. Normally it kinda bugs me when she gets all touchy-feely like that, but this time I didn’t mind it so much. It was … comforting.

I started shaking as the memories flooded back. “I had to be there to pull her away. Celestia dammit, why did I have to be there to pull her away?”

Pinkie held me for a minute before she spoke. “Because Ditzy trusted you to take care of her girls, Dashie. That's a super-huge responsibility, and she picked you because she knew you'd be the bestest pony in all of Equestria to do it.”

“I don't want to do it! That's her job, she should be … here...” I almost stopped talking when my voice broke. “Dammit, she should be here, not me.”

Pinkie sighed, and her head dropped down onto my shoulder. “Yeah, she should. I really wish I could be holding a 'Yay, Derpy's All Better Now!' Party.”

If I hadn’t been so worn out, I might have actually yelled at her. Feather the party, my best friend was dead and her children were orphaned. It’d be months before they so much as smiled again. “Why her? Why Ditzy? It's not fair.”

“No Dashie, it's not fair. I'm sorry.” She leaned in a little closer towards me, and the next thing I knew her lips were pressed against mine in a gentle kiss.

Oh, we were not doing this right now. I jerked my head back. “Pinks. No.”

Pinie pulled her head away, ears laid back and eyes wide. “Dashie? What's wrong?”

“I think I'd like to wait at least a few days before you try to shag me!” I snarled. Pinkie and I had been at odds about the whole physical affection thing ever since we hooked up, back on Hearts and Hooves Day. On a good day, I wasn’t interested in more than maybe a little kissing, and even that was just because of how happy it made her—and she wanted to go all the way now!?

Pinkie made a noise that sounded more like Fluttershy when somepony stepped on her tail. The hurt look on her face told me she didn’t want anything close to sex. Great going, me, why don’t you jump the gun again and hurt somepony you care about? “Sorry, sorry, that was....” I sighed and cupped her cheek with a hoof. “Pinks, it’s just … right now, Dinky and Sparkler only have me. I appreciate the food, I really do, but right now... I don't want, what’s the word, intimacy.”

If anything, that brought Pinkie even closer to breaking down. “Dashie! I wasn't trying to ... I just wanted to... I just wanted to make you stop being all saddy-waddy!”

She started crying, and as much as I hate to say it, the only thing that went through my mind was that if I didn’t shut her up right then, she’d wake Dinky. I pulled her head against my chest in a conveniently muffling hug.

For all her faults—and there are times when she does drive me up the wall—Pinkie really does mean well. She lives to make other ponies happy, and it really bugs her when she can’t. She’d outright cried on her first foalsitting attempt when she couldn’t make the Cake twins smile. Right now, she’d have to get over it. “Pinks … one of my oldest friends is gone. Even you can't throw a party to fix that.”

“If I can't even make my fillyfriend happy, then I'm a rotten party pony!” she wailed. I pulled her a little closer, so that she was actually talking into my chest fur. “I wanted to make you feel better, and I just went and made things worse.”

“I know ya didn't mean to, Pinks, you're just trying to help.”

Pinkie sniffed. “And now you're comforting me for being all frowny-faced, when I was supposed to be making you smile.”

Pinkie was easy enough for me to read, and usually I could pull her out of a funk pretty quickly. Those past times were gonna be good practice, if nothing else. Dinky and Sparkler were gonna need a lot of comforting, and it’s not like I could go get Fluttershy or somepony else who knew how to do the whole nurturing thing every time. “Ya brought breakfast, that's a good start.”

Pinkie’s tears left a trail as she looked up at me. “But you're still sad.”

“Ditzy's dead, Pinkie.” I just said it. I’d really just said it. “I don't want to be happy about that.”

“I just wanna make you all better.”

Me too. We sat there for a few minutes, just content to hold each other. I felt bad for snapping at her earlier. She really had just been trying to—oh, feathering Luna, Dinky’d woken up. I could hear her sobbing down the hall.

Pinkie poked her head out under my wing, “I can help! I'm good at cheering ponies up!” She looked up at me and gave a self-conscious little laugh. “Well, usually.”

I thought about it for a second. “You can try it, but... I think she's just gonna want Ditzy back.”

Pinkie’s hesitant smiled faded. She knew as well as I did that every trick she had to offer wouldn’t be of any help. “Yeah.”

I started to pull away from her, briefly wondering how the hay she’d managed to get her head that far under my wing. “Pinks, I um... I gotta go, okay? Help yourself to some more coffee before you head out. And, um, thanks.”

“Okie dokie lokie. Um...” She pawed the ground in a very un-Pinkie like manner and shyly looked up at me. “Can I get one last little kissy first?”

I gave her a quick peck on the lips, then went down the hall to Dinky’s room. It wasn’t much even by my usual standards, and I knew it; I told myself I’d make it up to Pinkie later. Assuming I could even find time for a ‘later’ with everything that I was probably gonna get hit with.


The next few days passed in a blur. The girls stayed in their rooms, mostly—I brought them food whenever we had it. Applejack, Big Macintosh, Carrot Top, and the Cakes took turns bringing meals over. I preferred it when it was Mac—not that I didn’t appreciate everypony else, but he got that I didn’t really want to talk. He’d come in, put the food on the table, and head out. AJ kept trying to see how I was feeling, and no matter how many times I told her I was fine she just wouldn’t take a hint. As much as I hate to say it, having one of the girls wake up crying was a bit of a relief: it gave me an excuse to tell her to leave.

Carrot Top … jeez, she was barely holding it together. I guess she’d been pretty close friend with Ditzy too. It was like flittering near a thunderhead, talking to her—never sure how close you can get before setting it off. First time she came over, she took out a loaf of carrot bread, stared at it for a second, and ran off sobbing. The Cakes weren’t much better, neither of them even wanted to look at the empty muffin trays when I gave them back. I hadn’t seen much of Pinkie since that first day, but honestly that was for the best. I just didn’t have time for her right now.

The girls were out of it, for the most part. Dinky rarely left Sparkler’s room, and the few hours that they were awake they spent huddled together. Sometimes I brought them meals. Most of the time I wound up on their bed with them, holding them. Dinky would curl up against Sparkler, who would curl up against me. I’d wrap my wings around both of them, trying to hold the shattered remains of this family together.

On one of the rare nights that Dinky slept in her own room, I stayed with her. She’d wrapped Favorite around her and had snuggled up next to me while she slept. Next thing I knew, it was the middle of the night and Dinky was shaking me and screaming for me to wake up, tears pouring from her eyes. At first I had no idea what she was going on about, but by the time Sparkler came in to see what was going on I was awake enough to remember.

I didn’t get a lot of rest that night. Twilight came over the next morning with paperwork and, Celestia bless her, a thermos of coffee. I drank about half of it in one go while she tossed around words like ‘"estate,” "executor," "probate," and "guardianship." I’m kinda fluent in legal-ese from my time as manager of the weather team, but … well, most of that stuff was just work-related stuff. Liability, fire damage, that sort of thing—not how to take over for a pair of fillies who lost their mom. I’d never even thought about it.

Ditzy had, though. From the bits I remember of Twilight’s explanation, Ditzy had given me custody of her girls while she’d been sick and had made sure that I’d be able to keep them if she … if … well, she’d made sure that I’d be able to stay with them full-time now. It sounded like Redheart had helped Ditzy take care of most of that stuff in the hospital—the only thing I needed to do to make it final was sign a formal adoption form, and that would be the end of it. I put the form aside for now. I wasn’t their mom. She was. Had been. Still was.

Dammit, why did I even have to make that distinction?

We burned through about a saddlebag and a half of legal documents—well, Twilight burned through them. Mostly I just sat there in a pre-caffeinated haze, nodding once in a while to let her know I was awake and occasionally filling her in on Ditzy’s medical information. Even despite the coffee, I started nodding off after an hour. Twilight had to nudge me awake once or twice, but after a while the sunlight starting coming in through the window. Naturally, it was all right where I was sitting, which made sleep even more inviting. Stupid sunlight.

Stupid sunlight. It occurred to me that it was supposed to be sunny until the end of the week. We’d have clear skies for the service the day after tomorrow... It would look nice outside. Beautiful. Happy.

Pretty stupid words to describe a funeral. Fortunately for me, I was still the manager for the weather team. If I remembered correctly, the big storm for the farms was supposed to be coming up at the end of the week. I could pull a few strings to bump it up a bit. While I thought this over, I went to put on the percolator to fix a round of coffee for the now-empty thermos, and realized that the stuff Twilight'd brought had just about finished its trip through me. I excused myself to the restroom. After I’d finished up and washed my hooves, I opened the door and came face-to-face with Sparkler. We both took a step back in surprise.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Um, you’re up.” Master of wit, that I am.

Sparkler nodded. “Yeah. I was getting a little stir-crazy being in bed all the time.”

Well, since I was heading out anyway... “I gotta go into town for a bit, if you wanted to come along.” I gave her a quick once-over.” Ya might want to run a brush through your mane first, though.”

“That bad, huh?”

I snorted at her. Her mane was frizzy enough from spending days against a pillowcase, and she’d somehow gotten a cowlick that looked like a second horn growing out of the back of her head. “Kid, right now you make me look fashionable.”

Sparkler gave a soft laugh and smiled for the first time in days. “All right, give me a few.”

She stepped into the bathroom, and I heard her grunt and swear under her breath as she fought the mess of tangles. By the time the aura from her horn faded, there was more than a little bit of purple hair left on her brush...

“Jeez, Ditzy.” I was a little muffled through a mouthful of handle. “How’d ‘oo ge’ sho ma’y knots jush from lyin’ in bed?”

Ditzy chuckled. “Heh, sorry. I’ve been a bit out of it over the last few days, I haven’t really had time to brush my mane.”

I spat out the brush for a second. “Yeah, well when I say it looks bad, you know you’re in trouble. Good thing I caught ya before school got out, ‘cause Rarity’s bringing the girls over. She’d drag you down to the spa for some prissy new manecut.”

“That sounds nice, really.” Ditzy let out a wistful sigh. “I wouldn’t say no to some pampering right now.”

I picked the brush back up.“Tell ‘oo what, then.” Brush. “Whe’ ‘oo get out, ‘ll take ‘a ‘oo the shpa.” Snag. “‘ole ‘ackage, my treat.” Pull.

At first, I wondered how the snag had come out so easily. Then I saw that it was still there, and still caught on the brush--a whole section of Ditzy’s mane had come out, leaving a bald patch the size of my hoof just below her left ear. We both stared at the golden lock of hair as it flopped limply to the side.

“Well,” Ditzy finally said. “At least we know the treatments are taking effect. Think I should just have somepony cut the rest off, Rainbow?”

“Rainbow?”

“Rainbow?”

I shook my head, forcing the memory into the back of my mind. “Yeah?” I said in a voice high enough to sound like Pinkie’s. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Sparkler stood in the doorway of the bathroom, eyeing me apprehensively. “I asked you if you were ready to go.”

“Totally. C’mon.”

I caught a glimpse of Dinky curled up on her bed as we walked down the hallway, still wrapped in Favorite and a small smile on her face. I hoped she wasn’t dreaming about her mom. It sounded a little cold even to me to think that, but reliving all those memories only to wake up to find... I shook my head again and went back to the living room.

“Hey, Twilight?”

Twilight looked up from whatever it was she’d been reading. “Hmm?”

“Sparkler and I are gonna head out for a bit. Keep an eye on Dinky for me, okay?”

“Of course. I’ll be here if she wakes up.”

I nodded to her, and Sparkler and I stepped outside for the first time in days. We both winced at the onslaught of sunlight, and I used my wing to shield our eyes for the first minute or two as we made our way through town. I thought about going through the back alleys again, but the weather team office was in the Ponyville Town Hall, which in turn was in the middle of the town square. There wasn’t any way of getting there without passing through some kind of crowd.

After a few seconds, I decided to take the straight shot through the square; it was late enough in the morning that the market stalls wouldn’t have as much of a crowd around them yet. The less empty sympathy we had to wade through, the better.

I swallowed when we got to the town square. The lunch rush hadn’t hit yet, but there were still enough ponies around that it’d be tricky to get past without getting in talking range of somepony. My wing settled into place around Sparkler as we picked up the pace. Lyra and Bon Bon traded a look with us as we passed by their bench, and I pretended I didn’t see Carrot Top waving at us from her stand. The only pony we actually got close enough to talk to was Big Macintosh, but he just tilted his head and let us pass by.

The town hall looked as boring as ever. The repairs had set in so well that you really couldn’t tell there was any damage at all, unless you knew where to look. We stepped over a hollow point in the road, where I’d tried to catch that falling beam... I was still amazed at how much damage that goofy bubble-butt had caused just by sitting down. I caught myself before I could laugh at that memory. That had only been a few days before she’d checked in and found out...

I shook my head. Something was getting in my eye, and the last thing I needed was to trip on the stairs. The cool air inside was like a cloud-blanket, a refreshing all-around feeling that never got too cold. Well, for me anyway; Sparkler nudged just a bit closer to me as we passed by some of the ponies inside. A few of the weather ponies had gotten in early for their lunch break. Thunderlane, Cloudchaser, and Raindrops all nodded to me as I passed by. I nodded back, though Sparkler didn’t look anywhere but straight ahead to the office.

I wasn’t surprised to see Blossomforth sitting at the counter, hunched over some weather form. She and Cloud Kicker had both been taking over more and more of my work while I’d spent more time watching Ditzy’s girls. The usual pile of paperwork I had left carefully scattered over the desk had been neatly stacked and sorted by type, with incoming and outgoing schedules pinned to the tackboard. Next to her was today’s paperwork filed away into their appropriate slots.

Huh. I didn’t know we had an ‘In’ and ‘Out’ box.

Blossomforth glanced up when she heard us coming, then did a double-take when it clicked who we were. I guess she hadn’t expected me to come back so soon. Neither had I, for that matter. She pushed the paper in front of her away.

“Hey, Rainbow—and, uh, Sparkler,” she hastily added. “What’s up?”

“Blossomforth, what the hay did you do to my office? I had a system going in here.”

“I fixed it.” When did Blossomforth become such a wiseass?

“Well, I hope you like the changes, ‘cause I may make you stay in here.” Kind of a weak joke, but it looked like she had done a lot of work to clean things up. If she’d put even half as much effort into running the weather team while I was gone, I probably owed her a raise.

With the playful banter out of the way, it was time to get down to business. I licked my lips before speaking again. “So, um … is that big storm for Sweet Apple Acres still on for Friday?”

“Actually, I’ve bumped it up to Thursday. There’s supposed to be a heat wave coming through then, so I figured the extra precipitation would help the trees weather through it.” She giggle-snorted at the accidental pun. “Why?”

“Since it’s supposed to be a big storm, I was wondering … think you could put the clouds in place a day early? I, uh, was kinda hoping for an overcast sky for... Y’know.”

“The funeral.” Blossomforth nodded sympathetically. She clapped a hoof over her mouth when Sparkler whimpered next to me. Celestia dammit, Blossomforth, I’ve been flitting next to a thunderhead as it was. I shot her an annoyed glare as I pulled Sparkler into a side hallway. I wrapped a hoof around her and let her sob into my shoulder.

“Sorry, s-sorry,” she stammered after a minute. “I—I just—”

“It’s okay.” I rubbed her back in what I guessed was a comforting gesture. “It’s okay. You good to go now?”

She gave a dry hiccough. “Yeah. I’m good.” It was a hollow question, and I knew it. Credit where it’s due, though, she put on a brave face and actually lead the way back to the counter. Blossomforth cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Sorry about that, I … so. Overcast for tomorrow, then storm as usual sound good?”

I nodded. “You know what to do.”

“Got it, boss.”

I turned at left. The walk home was a bit more crowded than I’d wanted it to be. Sparkler had taken enough time to calm down that by the time we’d left, the majority of the weather team had filed in to clock out for lunch. They all gave us a wide berth and a sympathetic look. Outside it was even worse; the stalls had begun to attract new crowds for the lunch rush, and of course it was one of those days where everypony wanted fresh produce for their meal instead of packing their own.

“Buck,” Sparkler whispered. We hadn’t even left the city hall yet and already it looked like we’d have to wade through half the town just to get home. Blossomforth didn’t exactly keep an ear to the grapevine, so if she knew Ditzy had—that—well, if Blossomforth knew, pretty much everypony knew. Already we were getting hushed whispers and fleeting looks from some of the ponies close to us. No way we’d get through that mob.

“Feather this,” I agreed. “You up for a quick flight?”

Sparkler nodded and hopped onto my back. She was a little heavier than I’m used to—usually I only gave rides to Scootaloo or Dinky, but if I could pull Rarity’s prissy flank out of free-fall, I could manage a fifteen-year-old.

A twenty-minute walk turned out to be a three-minute flight. It was a straight shot up and over most of the buildings, though I couldn’t quite clear Carousel Boutique with Sparkler.

I heard somepony speaking when we got back to the house—no, two someponies. Twilight’s voice I recognized, but the other one belonged to a stallion. Sparkler and I rounded the corner to find Twilight talking to a grey pegasus with a blond mane. For a minute, I thought it was her.

“Mom?”

The pegasus’ head jerked at Sparkler’s voice, and seeing a male face shattered the illusion. “Sparkler—Rainbow, hi.”

“Uncle Cirrus...” Sparkler’s voice broke as the emotions she’d swallowed all morning finally boiled over. Cirrus got up and hugged her, and guided her into the living room as she broke down. Twilight motioned her head for me to join her in the kitchen.

I sighed and sat down on the cushion Cirrus had just gotten up from. Twilight got a bottle of apple juice from the icebox and levitated it to me, and I drained it in a couple of gulps before laying my head down on the table. She took a healthy pull from her own and sat down across from me.

“How’d things go in town?” From the tone of her voice, it wasn’t hard to figure out what she really meant.

“I’m fine.” Great, another pony who wanted to know how I felt—and since it was Twilight, she’d probably try to break it down in big, eggheaded terms instead of just saying, ‘How are you?’

“How are you?” Well, there’s a first time for everything. She cut me off with an upraised hoof. “I mean, really, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” I said again.

Twi wasn’t gonna let it go. “Rainbow, one of your best friends has died. If I were in your horseshoes, I’d be heartbroken.”

“I’m … fine,” I repeated. Maybe if I said it enough, I’d start to believe it. I didn’t look up, though: on some level, I knew she was right. Ditzy was … dead. There, I admitted it to myself. She’s dead, gone, no longer here for her daughters. That feathering thing in her head had killed her, and not even Celestia could’ve done anything to stop it. I would know, I’d flown to Canterlot and asked. Well, technically I’d barged into the throne room and demanded that she cure Ditzy right then and there. It didn’t work

I realized that Twilight had started talking again. “...I mean, from what Cirrus told me, you’ve known Derpy since—”

“Ditzy.”

“Huh?”

“Her name’s—was Ditzy,” I told her. “‘Derpy’ was just a nickname.”

Twilight stared at me. “It was a lot more than that—that’s all I’ve ever heard you call her.”

That much was true; Cloud Kicker’s nicknames had a way of sticking, and Ditzy had gotten such a kick out of hers that she’d started using it to introduce herself about two years after Dinky'd been born. After a while, even I called her ‘Derpy’ whenever we passed each other on the streets. I hadn’t even called her by her real name until recently, when we’d started spending time together after … she told me.

I’d spent so much time with Twilight that sometimes I forgot she hadn’t been in town as long as the rest of us. There was a lot she’d missed out on—some good, some bad, but either way she was still technically the new girl. Hay, if she hadn’t agreed to tutor Dinky in basic magic, I doubt she would have even met Ditzy in the first place.

Now that I thought about it, though, I wondered how many ponies really knew Ditzy’s name. Her clumsiness and muffin obsession had been legendary around town, but beyond that … who really knew her? Yeah, she was the mailmare, but did anypony know who she worked so hard to support? Yeah, she was a bit clumsy, but how many ponies heard the bubbly apologies or watched her stay to help clean up whatever she’d broken? Yeah, there'd been gossip about her having a foal long before she should have, but did any pony ever see how hard she'd tried to be the best damn mom she could? She wasn’t perfect, but she was a good pony.

Had been.

“Her full name is Ditzy Doo,” I said again. A thought occurred to me. “Tell me you did not order a headstone that says ‘Derpy Hooves.’”

“No, no!” Twillight started digging through the mound of papers on the kitchen table. “Her brother came in and asked to … well, he filled out the order. It’s somewhere... Aha! Here.”

I waved away the tear-stained paper as she levitated it in front of me. Whatever Cirrus had put, I knew he would have made it something really cool. Because Ditzy deserves something that told everypony what an awesome friend and mom she was.

Somepony knocked at the front door. Twilight and I both got up to answer it, but Cirrus beat us to it. Sparkler had calmed down enough to let him go, and by the time I’d gotten out of the kitchen he already had the door open. One glimpse at the massive wall of red blocking the doorway told me who it was.

“Cirrus.”

“Macintosh.”

Mac jerked his head towards a pair of saddlebags on his back. “Lunch?”

“Thanks.”

“Eeyup.” Wow, listen to those two chatterboxes jabber away.

Cirrus looked around for his coinpurse. “How much?”

“Nuthin’.”

Cirrus nodded gratefully, Macintosh set his saddlebags on the ground, taking an empty set that I’d left next to the door earlier. “Cirrus?”

“Yeah?”

Mac took a pretty deep breath, pausing before he spoke again. “Ah am so sorry fer what happened t’ yer sister. We all are.”

Twilight and I stared in shock. I think that’s the most he’s ever said in one go. Hay, he’d used … grammar.

Cirrus bit his lip and looked away. “Thanks.”

Mac nodded and turned to go, but held the door for Twilight as she edged past him. She paused at the doorway and looked back.

“Rainbow, I know you say you’re fine, but if you ever want somepony to talk to... Come find me, anytime.”

“Eeyup,” Mac agreed.

Cirrus closed the door behind them and carried the saddlebags into the kitchen. Sparkler and I helped him unpack today’s meals—a cobbler and a large pile of apples from Mac’s family, three loaves of bread and a cake from Sugarcube Corner, a bunch of different candy from Bon-Bon, and some kind of vegetable stew from Carrot Top. Jeez, it looked like everypony had thrown something in.

We sat back down at the table once we’d gotten things sorted and put away. I took a seat at one end of the table, while Sparkler scooted her cushion next to her uncle. “Uncle Cirrus? How long are you gonna stick around?”

“Captain Gust was only able to get me a few days’ emergency leave.” He shot me a quick, angry glance. “I have to be on the train Wednesday night, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Sparkler chewed her lip pensively. “Are Grandma and Grandpa coming?”

“They’re—no, they couldn’t make it for tomorrow. But they’ll be here as soon as they can, too.”

Her shoulders slumped like a rag doll. I really did feel bad now—with her mom gone, she’d probably really wanted to see her grandparents. “Okay. I’m, um... I’m gonna go back to bed.”

“All right.” Cirrus bit his lip, then caught Sparkler as she started to walk away and wrapped his forelegs around her. “I love you so much.”

Sparkler returned the hug. I sat back, feeling a little awkward. I wasn’t about to break up their time together, but now that he was here I felt a little out of place. He might not be Ditzy, but he was the next-closest pony to her. He was her uncle, part of her family. I’m just her mom’s friend.

I took the saddlebags from the table and carried them to the usual spot near the front door, then sat down on the sofa in the living room. They needed their family time. Eventually, Sparkler trotted past me and down the hall to her room. I went back to the kitchen after I heard her door close and grabbed a bottle of cider before I joined Cirrus at the table.

“Want one?” I asked, motioning to the cider. Probably should’ve thought about that before I sat down. Awkward.

Cirrus shook his head. “I really don’t think I should have any alcohol right now. To be honest, I dunno that I’d stop.”

Well, that just doubled the awkwardness. I drank the cider a lot slower than I usually do. “So… Your parents aren’t coming?”

“They’re out of the country.” His smoldering glare told me I was about to get an earful. “They didn’t know they’d need to be here for Ditzy’s funeral, Rainbow. Dee never told us she was sick, not once! The first clue I had that something was wrong with her was when Captain Gust brought me her obituary last night.”

I flinched at that. Ditzy had told me she’d take care of getting in touch with her family, but everything had progressed so fast... “I thought she told you. I helped her write the letter—”

“Which would’ve helped if I knew something was wrong.” I saw him blinking back tears. “I got it the day after she sent it, but... I thought it was just another letter. I didn’t even think about it for three days, I had to cover for somepony at an event and just put it aside. Then this morning, Captain Gust brought me a newspaper clipping … I went back to open the letter and this fell out.” He tapped a familiar-looking necklace around his neck—the feather’s color was so close to his that I hadn’t even seen it until now.

Cirrus hung his head, cradling the feather against him with a hoof. “You should have told me. Luna damn you to oblivion, Rainbow Dash, you should have told me she was dying. After everything I’ve done for her, after everything I gave up for her... You had no right to keep us in the dark. If nothing else, we deserved a chance to say goodbye.”

“Uncle Cirrus?”

I jumped at Dinky’s voice. She wobbled a little bit against the doorway, watching us with bleary eyes, Favorite half-balanced on her back and in danger of slipping off. With how un-excited she was to see her uncle, I don’t think she was fully awake yet.

Cirrus hastily cleared his throat before turning around. “Hey, little muffin. I thought you were asleep. What do you need?”

Dinky rubbed her eye and yawned. “I had a sad dream. Could you stay with me for a bit?”

“Sure, yeah.” He stood up and gave her a loving nuzzle.

“Okay.” She looked up at him expectantly. “Can I have a ride?”

Cirrus knelt down and extended a wing. “All aboard, Little Muffin.”

Dinky scrambled onto his back and wrapped her hooves around his neck. Favorite draped over both of them like a too-small cloak, fluttering slightly as Cirrus trotted to Dinky’s room. I laid back on the couch, thinking about all the times I’d tried to get Ditzy to write to her family.

“Ditzy, you need to let your family know! This is bad!

“Rainbow, I’m just sick. I don’t want to worry them unnecessarily, a lot of ponies get over cancer.”

“Ditzy ... um, how’re things?”

“I don’t think this is gonna go away... I’ll write them tomorrow after the first treatment, I promise.”

“Hey, um ... did you write to your bro?”

“Not yet… I’m so tired… Maybe after the girls come over.”

“Hey, Ditzy... Um, anything I can get for you?”

“Mm... Rainbow?... Could you take a letter for me?”


I almost didn’t get up Wednesday morning.

Even though my internal clock’s set to get up early, I usually wait until the sun’s peeking through a window before I roll out of bed. My request for an overcast sky kinda threw a wrench in that, and it wasn’t until I smelled coffee that I realized how late it probably was. I scrambled off of the couch and into the kitchen.

The percolator was bubbling gently on the stove. Leave it to the Guard to be up and ready before the crack of dawn; under other circumstances I would have kissed the pony who’d set it for me. Cirrus already had a cup at hoof on the table. I filled a mug for myself and sat down next to him.

He had an old photo album open in front of him. These were pictures that I hadn’t seen around the house—from how small he looked in them, I guessed they predated my time at Flight Camp. I scooted a little closer, until I was looking over his shoulder.

He flipped to the first page of the album, where there was a single picture laminated and centered: a young, grey pegasus colt cradling a foal in his arms, looking up at the camera with a goofy-looking smile. Cirrus wiped a few drops of water off of the page as he slowly traced his hoof along the edge of the photo.

“‘Morning, big guy.”

Cirrus didn’t even grunt a response. He flipped to the next page. I gave him a soft nudge.

“Hey—you with me?”

His eyes were so bloodshot when he turned to look at me that I could barely see any gold in them. I’d heard Dinky wake up earlier in the night, and between calming her down and trying to process things for himself, I wondered if he’d gotten any sleep at all last night.

“So, um... I was thinking we could skip the reception and just go to the viewing. Let the girls sleep in a bit, y’know?” I was a little selfish in saying that. I’d spent a lot of time trying to dodge pity from anypony, and there would be no way I could dodge it at the reception Twilight had planned for before the memorial service. I saw two—well, now three—reminders that Ditzy was gone every minute of the day. The last thing I wanted was even more reminders from everypony telling me how sorry they were every five seconds.

I didn’t get much in the way of a reply; Cirrus just looked back at the photo album and flipped the page again. I sighed, and went to fix myself something to eat. The percolator was still pretty full, so I grabbed the handle in my mouth and poured myself a cup of coffee. I envy Twilight’s ability to use magic for stuff like this, because I spilled a bit before I lined up the spout with the mug. As I put the pot back on the stove, I noticed a lot of coffee stains on the counter. Looks like Ditzy’d had an even worse time with it over the years.

With coffee in hoof, I grabbed a slice of apple bread from the icebox and went back to the table. It was almost as good cold as it was hot out of the oven, and oddly enough dipping it in coffee first made it taste pretty good, if a little weird.

We sat for a while, with only the occasional flip of a page to break the silence. I got another cup of coffee and a plate of apple cobbler, polished those off, and idly sipped at my drink. Eventually, the silence got to be too much.

“So ... nice weather we’re having, huh?” It took all of my self control not to facehoof the second those words left my mouth. Good feathering goddess, what the hay kind of question was that? Of course we weren’t having nice weather today, I’d made sure of that yesterday! Okay, okay, different approach: how were his parents? Oh, right, not here. How’d the train ride been? Probably long, lonely, and painful. How was Cloud Kicker’s family doing in Canterlot? Sympathetic after they'd brought him an obituary. Food? Food seemed safe enough.

“Coffee’s pretty good.” I sipped at my cup. “Real good, you’ll have to show me how you did it. You make it a lot at the barracks?”

Cirrus turned another page.

Well, that has been a smashing success. I put my dishes in the sink, and was about to go back to the couch when a clock chimed from somewhere the living room. I’d just been letting Dinky and Sparkler sleep as much as they wanted ever since that day, so I wasn’t really surprised that they were both still out even at eleven in the morning. Cirrus sighed and closed the album, and after a quick discussion of which of the girls each of us would wake up. He opted to get Sparkler up, and the two of us trotted down the hallway to the girls’ rooms. Dinky’s room was first, so I turned and opened the door while he kept going.

Dinky was curled up in a ball again, with Favorite wrapped around her like a shroud. She was smiling again, and I could see her lips moving wordlessly while she slept. Even if she was asleep, why was she smiling on today of all days? I knelt down next to her bed and gently shook her.

“Hey, kiddo. Time to get up.”

Dinky blinked at me with glazed eyes. “Dunwanna... Five more minutes, ‘kay?”

Muted sobbing echoed down the hallway from two different voices. Dammit, I should’ve closed the door. I nudged Dinky as she started to fade back to sleep.

“Better not, your sister’s gonna get up soon. You wanna get into the shower before her, don’t you?”

“Mm,” Dinky grumbled. “Sheza hot water hog.” She grudgingly flopped out of her bed and let me guide her to the bathroom while she blinked away her exhaustion. She grumbled something about being a big filly and closed the door, and after a minute I heard water running. I knocked to make sure Dinky hadn’t fallen back asleep in the bathroom, and once I was satisfied that she was actually in the shower I sneaked down the hall to Sparkler’s room.

One peek showed me all I needed to know. Sparkler was sitting down next to her bed with her hooves wrapped around Cirrus while she howled into his mane. He, in turn, had a wing halfheartedly draped around her, and I could just make out the sounds of him weeping as he held his niece close to him.

I suddenly felt like I was intruding, seeing what was left of this family desperately try to pull itself back together. I ducked back into the hallway and went for another slice of apple bread. Skipping the reception meant that I probably wouldn’t get anything to eat until we got back, and, well... I doubted I’d have much of an appetite after that. I polished off two more slices and another cup of coffee before I decided that Dinky’d had enough time to wake up. I trotted back and had my hoof halfway ready to knock when she opened the door.

She let me in to help her brush her mane. True to what Ditzy had said, Dinky’s magic just wasn’t at the point where she could use it for much of anything yet. I forced myself not to think about how disturbingly familiar brushing somepony else’s mane felt, and bit down harder whenever I hit a snag in the hopes that it wouldn’t just come loose on the brush.

Finally, Dinky’s mane was under control. I didn’t spend a lot of time on myself, as usual—more often than not, my days include at least some flying, so mane-grooming is a bit pointless. We stepped away from the counter and passed Sparkler in the hall. While she was taking her own shower, Dinky trotted to the kitchen for something eat.

Cirrus was in the living room, hastily tucking the photo album away on a bookshelf. I could understand him not wanting it out right now. I got Dinky some breakfast—her own plate of waffles and a glass of milk—and sat down with them. Even if they hadn’t been eating, I’d realized that talking wouldn’t do us a lot of good right now. Sparkler joined us after a while, and Cirrus set a plate down in front of her. She took a few grudging bites of apple bread, but ultimately pushed it away.

The clock in the living room chimed the half-hour—11:30. Time to go. I heard the girls’ plates clink against the growing stack of dishes in the sink as Cirrus added them to the pile. We were in the mudroom and about to leave when Dinky tugged on my tail.

“Rainbow Dash, can I take Favorite?”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Like I was gonna say no to that. I got the blanket from Dinky’s room and helped her wrap it over her shoulders like a shawl. Once I had it tied in place, we set out from the house.

Ponyville was pretty quiet. Cloudy skies usually goes hoof-in-hoof with rain, so it looked like most ponies had opted to stay inside today. A few were out, but they were mostly in or near the town square—and even then, two stands that were usually the busiest of the lineup were closed. I didn’t have to guess where their owners would be.

Sure enough, Applejack and Carrot Top were two of the first ponies I saw when we got to the funeral home. AJ had her longtime rival in a one-hoofed hug and was leading her out of the building as she tried to help her calm down. Cirrus and I double-timed it past them.

Ponies were packed almost wall-to-wall inside. There were a lot of blue uniforms, almost half the crowd—Ditzy’s friends and coworkers from the post office. I was surprised by how many ponies from the weather team were here as well, given the kind of workload that comes with pushing enough clouds to block the sun. I could see Mac towering over a small crowd off to the left--Cheerilee, Pinkie, and Mrs. Cake, if I had to guess. Which I kind of did, I could only see the tops of their manes over the sea of heads.

The muted conversations faded as more and more ponies turned to see who had come in, until literally every set of eyes in the building was staring at us. Sparkler pressed a little tighter against me, and Cirrus stepped in front of Dinky after helping her down off of his back. A brown earth pony colt stepped out of the crowd of postal workers and came up to us.

“Hey, Spark.”

“H-hey, Ratchet.” Sparkler stepped away from me and awkwardly nuzzled him. Cirrus raised an eyebrow when he hugged her back, but let it go when I didn’t say anything. Right, I’d forgotten to mention to him that Sparkler had a coltfriend. I’d been a little nervous about whether I’d have to keep an eye on them when I first started watching her and Dinky, but as things had progressed I’d just been glad that Sparkler’d had somepony else she could go to when I had my hooves full with her sister. I nudged Ratchet and reminded him to bring her back when the service started.

Cirrus and I started working my way over to Mac, but we only got a third of the way there when I stumbled into Cloud Kicker. She was hugging the wall, quietly staring at the ground. Honestly, she was acting more like Fluttershy than her usual self. I mean, I know she wasn’t exactly strolling for dates right now, but she didn’t even try to talk to anypony else. About the only time she even looked up was when we went over to her. She nodded to me and Cirrus, but the first real sign of life we got was when Dinky hugged her. Cloud Kicker knelt down and nuzzled her right back, and gave her an almost motherly kiss on the forehead.

Dinky snuggled up against her, and I just couldn’t bring myself to try and pull her away. Cloud Kicker’s face was blank, like she was forcing herself to not have any kind of reaction. The last time I’d seen her like this was in the hospital after the incident at Flight Camp. She’d been devastated after Fluttershy had broken up with her, and that had just been some schoolfilly crush. This... I didn’t even want to think about how badly she had to be hurting right now. I nodded to Cirrus to follow me.

We finally pushed our way through to Mac and the others. Minus his sister, the rest of the girls were with him—my girls, I mean. Ugh, I mean my friends. I was going to have to rethink that a bit... Anyway. I’d been right about Cheerilee, Pinkie, and Mrs. Cake, but now that I was closer, I saw who else was with him: Rarity and Twilight were both kneeling on either side of Fluttershy, who was quietly sobbing into a handkerchief. Definitely a good thing Dinky was with Cloud Kicker right now, seeing ‘Shy like this might have made her cry too. I’d half expected Rarity to show up in some stupid all-black gown, but for once she’d toned things down. She just had a small, black veil-hat thing which still managed to get in the way when she tried to dab at her eyes.

Pinkie stepped away from Mrs. Cake and gave me a quick kiss, which for once I returned. I kinda needed the contact.

“Hey everypony,” I croaked. Twilight waved a hoof while Mrs. Cake nodded to me, and Rarity and Fluttershy both squeaked a greeting of their own.

“Howdy,” Mac said. Jeez, he’d been pretty talkative lately.

“Is Granny Smith coming?” I kinda doubted it, since Apple Bloom was nowhere to be seen.

Mrs. Cake smiled weakly. “She’s with my husband at Sugarcube Corner. He offered to watch the Crusaders as well as the twins, and I think she knew better than to let him weather that alone.”

On another day I would have laughed at that. Poor bastard probably had no idea what he’d signed on for.

Fluttershy calmed down and opened her mouth to say something, but she was cut off by a clock chiming from somewhere on the other side of the room. Twilight gave her a final nuzzle and stood up.

“That’s noon. It’s time to start the service.” She wove her way through the crowd and unlocked a set of door on the far side of the room. Several rows of cushions lined the viewing area, split in the middle to allow us a clear path into the room. Cirrus and I took our seats at the front of the room, on two of the four pillows set aside for us. A simple, wooden coffin sat open in the middle of the room, but from this angle I couldn’t see inside it. Thank Celestia for small favors. Next to it was a small podium with a blown-up picture of Ditzy and her daughters at some carnival in Canterlot.

I wasn’t really surprised that nopony had been able to find a photo of Ditzy on her own—pretty much every picture I had ever seen was her with one or both of her daughters. When she hadn’t been working, she’d been with them. Now that I thought about it, her time in the hospital had probably been the first time she’d been away from them for longer than a day or two since Dinky had been born.

Hoofsteps echoed in the room as everypony filed in behind us. Cloud Kicker brought Dinky up to us and took her seat on a cushion closer to the wall. Half a minute later, Ratchet and Sparkler came up as well; she gave him a quick kiss and sat down between Cirrus and Dinky, her eyes firmly glued to the floor.

Twilight trotted up to the podium and tapped it for silence. She didn’t need to, pretty much everypony had stopped talking when they sat down. After a few brief words about her own time with Ditzy, she stepped down and opened the floor to anypony else who wanted to speak. Tool Time was the first one to go; he went up, took one sideways glance at the casket, and backed away shaking his head. He sat down without saying a word.

Some of the ponies came up and talked how they’d met Ditzy, or else some great memories they had of her. Some of them were funny, some of them were boring, but every pony who went up to talk mentioned how much she’d loved her girls. Once in a while, somepony would throw around phrases like ‘too soon’ and ‘before her time.’ It was a little corny, but when it boiled down to it they were right. Dinky and Sparkler deserved so much more time with their mom.

Cloud Kicker was one of the last ponies to get up to speak. For a second I was pissed off at how calm she was. She and Ditzy had a‒well they had a thing going before she died, and Cloud Kicker wasn’t even crying or anything. I hadn’t seen her acting this stiff since Flight Camp ... oh.

Guess everypony has their own way of dealing with it.

Cloud Kicker seemed to need a bit before she finally started talking, and when she did she sounded kinda ... weird. I dunno how to explain it, really. She was just ... off.

“Derpy ... Derpy was something special. I knew that from the moment I ran into her.” She let a short little chuckle. “Well, it was her that ran into me. We were both getting lunch at the Flight Camp cafeteria, and there was only one muffin left up for grabs. We ended up splitting it, and that got us talking and...”

Cloud Kicker trailed off and shook her head, then went quiet for a bit before she started talking again. “She was the best of us, and I don’t know what we’re gonna do now that she’s gone. But we’ll find a way, because that’s what she would want. All of us hurting because she was gone isn’t the way she would want us to remember her. She’d want us to remem ... reme...” Cloud Kicker ducked her head for a moment and cleared her throat. “She’d want us to remember the good times. So that’s what I’m gonna try to do.”

Fluttershy went up to speak after Cloud Kicker. Or, well, she tried to. She got as far as Ditzy’s name before everything she tried to say starting coming out out as a bunch of high-pitched squeaking, which only got worse the longer she tried to talk. She leaned against the podium and started crying, and I saw Rarity get up to go to her. To my surprise, it was Cloud Kicker who beat her there. Fluttershy didn’t even look to see who she latched onto when she felt somepony try to pull her away.

“It’s okay, Eepysqueak. It’s okay.” She stroked Fluttershy’s back comfortingly as she clung to her like a life preserver. “C’mon, you don’t have to say anything else if you don’t want to. Just being here is enough.”

Fluttershy sobbed something half-intelligible into Cloud Kicker’s shoulder, and Cloud Kicker pulled her closer.

“I know, Eepy.” I could see Cloud Kicker trying to blink away tears. “I miss her, too.” She helped Fluttershy stand up and guided her back to the rows of cushions laid out. I was a bit surprised when they sat back down together.

I waved Twilight away when she asked me if I wanted to say anything. I’d already promised her I’d take care of her girls; what else was there to say? Besides, anything I would have said would have just been for Ditzy, and I wasn’t going to repeat it in front of half of Ponyville. Cirrus looked at the empty podium, then to the casket before hugging Dinky just a little closer to him. I think he felt the same way.

With the speeches out of the way, everypony got up to see Ditzy one last time. Most of them only spent a few seconds before moving on—casual acquaintances from town or work, I think. Mrs. Cake and Pinkie took a moment; Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a muffin, which she set in the casket. “She always made them better than me.”

Tool Time bowed his head when it was his turn. He’d been the closest to Ditzy, from their time working together at the post office. They’d started off as boss-and-mailmare a little after she first moved to town, but they’d been pretty close friends in the years since.

Fluttershy took a brief glimpse and trotted away. She’d calmed down after trying to talk, but I think seeing Ditzy like that for more than a second would have set her off again. When she stepped away, Cloud Kicker took her place and leaned down to whisper something to Ditzy. Nopony heard what she said. Nopony needed to. When she finished, she kissed Ditzy on the cheek and dropped something into the casket.

Cloud Kicker stepped away, and then it was just me, Cirrus, and the girls. I took a hesitant breath and stepped forward.

Ditzy looked … calm. Peaceful, almost. She’d been given a wig which was a pretty close match to what her mane had looked like—I think. It had been almost two months since she’d had anything more than body fur on her head, and even though the wig was a pretty good one, seeing her with a mane again was weird. Her fur had been brushed to almost creepy neatness, and the few feathers left in her wings had been groomed to make her plumage look fuller than it really was. The trinkets other ponies had put in were respectfully strewn around her: a muffin tucked into the corner, a sealed letter stashed into the siding, a light purple feather gently resting against her hoof.

Somepony gasped beside me, and I saw fresh tears quietly tracing down the well-worn trails on Sparkler’s face. I realized that this was the first time she'd actually seen her mom like this. Before now, her last memory of Ditzy had been from the day she’d given her and her sister their necklaces. Ditzy had looked and sounded like Tartarus, yeah, but she’d still been alive. Now...

Sparkler gingerly stepped forward, shaking her head. Words formed and died without sound as she opened her mouth. She dipped her head into the casket and gently nudged her mom, as if trying to wake her up from a nap.

Ditzy remained still. I gave Sparkler another minute, then reached out with my wing and gently pulled her away. There wasn’t any emotion left on her face. She wasn’t even crying anymore. Something about her eyes just looked … hollow. Broken. Empty. She let me guide her a little ways away, following like a wind-up toy that went through its motions without understanding or caring why.

Behind us, Dinky stepped up onto a stool next to the casket. I could tell she was trying not to cry, brave little kid, biting her lip as she stared at the mare that had brought her into the world just over six years ago. It was too much for her. Her eyes flooded with tears, and Cirrus wrapped his wing around her, ready to pull her away. For a second, I thought he would have to. Then Dinky did something I will never forget for the rest of my life.

She pulled Favorite off of her shoulders and draped it over her mother.

Dinky’s self-control crumbled as she struggled to tuck it in around her, and she gave up after a few seconds. Cirrus wrapped a wing around her and pulled her as close as he could without tipping her off of the stool. He reached in and grabbed the blanket—Dinky’s blanket, his old blanket—and gently tucked it around Ditzy’s shoulders.

“Just … th-think of this as extended loan.” He kissed his sister’s forehead. “I love you, Dee.”

Cirrus reached up and closed the casket, sealing Ditzy in with the love and gifts of those she had touched during her life in Ponyville. Dinky buried her head into his shoulder and screamed as fillies only can when they know they’ve said goodbye for the last time. Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit. This was so far beyond unfair to her. This wasn’t fair to any of us.

Cirrus’ wings drooped low enough to scrape the ground as he hobbled towards me, holding Dinky against him with a hoof. He gave her a reassuring squeeze and set her down next to me, letting her latch onto my leg. “I’m—we’re gonna go take Dee to … to... The girls shouldn’t see this, you should take them home.”

I nodded to him, and he nuzzled Dinky one last time before turning back to the coffin. Applejack and Carrot Top stood ready at the rear of the coffin with Tool Time at one of the front corners, the carrying poles resting beside them at shoulder level. Cirrus reached his corner, and almost got into position when he froze. I think it finally hit him, what he was about to do. Twilight went up to him and said something I couldn’t hear. Cirrus shook his head in a no, and rested his hoof against the lid, as if he wanted to open the lid again for one last goodbye. Instead, he laid his forehead against the polished wood and sat there, necklace dancing beneath him as he gasped for breath.

Somepony sniffled to the right of me. Cloud Kicker’s reserves of calm had finally given out. I think the combination of where we were, what we were doing, and seeing Ditzy like that was too much even for her to take. Fluttershy had wrapped her wings around Cloud Kicker to the point that I couldn’t see much above her head, but from how much she was shaking she had to have been crying as hard as Dinky.

Of all the things it took for them to get over the past... It was sick, really. Feathering Celestia, I’d tried so hard three different times to help them patch things up, twice while Ditzy was around to, what was the word, moderate. Every single time it had gone to Tartarus, with Fluttershy less and less willing to even talk to Cloud Kicker. Now here they were, huddled together like a pair of schoolfillies, finally able to connect with each other again. In spite of the progress, it felt so empty, like getting first place in a competition after the winner had been kicked out for cheating.

I know Ditzy would've been happy to see them finally get over their differences, but the fact that she wasn’t here to see it—no, that it was probably only happening because she wasn’t here—was just perverse. What’s the point of fixing one friendship if you have to lose another friend to do it?

It took Cirrus a while to pull it together. Eventually, though, he calmed down enough to walk again and knelt underneath the carrying pole, setting it in place against his shoulders; the other bearers did the same, and at a nod from Twilight they stood up together. Mac and Twilight led the way, opening the doors for the casket’s procession to pass through. Fluttershy and Cloud Kicker followed the closest behind, side-by-side, along with Rarity, Pinkie, and Mrs. Cake. Behind them was a crowd of ponies from the post office and the weather team, coworkers, friends, and others who’d known her. Ratchet stepped aside to give Sparkler a hug. I don’t think she noticed.

It took a while for everypony else to file out. I waited until the sound of hooffalls outside faded before I knelt down to let Dinky awkwardly stumble onto my back, where she buried her face in my mane. Sparkler mutely allowed me to wrap a wing around her and guide her, and with that I stepped out the back door and took my goddaughters home. Dinky cried the entire way.

Sparkler was silent.