• Member Since 13th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

ShowShine


A fanfic writer who’s trying her best

T

When Spoiled Rich takes her abuse too far, Filthy Rich divorces her and puts himself out there

This story contains child abuse

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 52 )

In a word, Justice!!!

Yes this is a great idea
Can't wait for the next update

Can’t wait to see more

Long overdue! Kick that b:yay: to the curb!

An interesting little story you've got here. Keep it up, would like to see where this goes

“From now on I’ll spend less time with work and more time with my family. I just need to start deal with Spoiled.”

I think it should go

“From now on I’ll spend less time with work and more time with my family. I just need to start dealing with Spoiled.”

I like this premise. Also, Filthy Rich needs to also be a dad to Diamond.

Been waiting for a story like this. Now how long before Spoiled in some way tries to steal DT and all the money.

I remember a story on this subject from a while back. It'll be interesting to see what you will do with the premise.

Hope you had a pre-nup Rich.

9971728
I bet he had a pre-prenup!!!! WolfishLOL

9971421
Actually, it needs to be "start to deal", i.e. neither "start deal" nor "start dealing" - and the first sentence needs a comma after "from now on".

Ooh this is so good! I can't wait for more!

I like the premise, though I think the dialogue could have used some work. The first thing I can come up with is the "raise" line should have been told to Randolph later while Spoiled wasn't in the room. It just didn't match the purpose or tone of the scene.

Hmm, caught my interest. Can't wait to see more.

Could you work on your sentence structuring when using dialogue. Usually, within every other line of dialogue a different person talks, but if it's just one person it should be in a paragraph. For example:

“This has been going on for years?” Filthy Rich muttered in disbelief. Tears welled up in his eyes.

“I didn’t realize how much Spoiled was hurting her, I was so caught up in my work.” He said to himself. He shook his head.

“From now on I’ll spend less time with work and more time with my family. I just need to start deal with Spoiled.”

Instead it should be:
“This has been going on for years?” Filthy Rich muttered in disbelief. Tears welled up in his eyes. “I didn’t realize how much Spoiled was hurting her, I was so caught up in my work.” He said to himself. He shook his head. “From now on I’ll spend less time with work and more time with my family. I just need to start deal with Spoiled.”

Other than that, everything is tip top :twilightsheepish:

Nice idea, I wonder how this wil continue:applejackunsure:

Una

Seeing spoiled getting her punishment is like a huge weight off my chest. I hate people who hurt their children like that.

Haven't read it yet, but this is an instant add to my read later list. Buck you, Spoiled.

Huk

Interesting premise, and a quick start. Will track that one:raritywink:.

But, like some people already mentioned, you may want to improve the dialog and narration as you go :unsuresweetie:

The pony Filthy always struck me as a fair guy and nothing corrupt in his character. There ain't enough characters like that.

Filthy always seemed nice. I hope Equestria's divorce law is more fair to stallions than ours.

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. This story feels very real. Shockingly real to me. I both adore it and abhor it for that. Amazing work!

This story seems quite interesting, I see why The Kaiser wishes me to track this. The concept is quite interesting and I am finding myself wishing for it continuation. Viel Glück mit der Geschichte.

9972124
It is stated in the Bible three times that those who mistreat children deserve to be thrown into the ocean with a millstone tied to their neck.
Matthew 18:6
Mark 9:42
Luke 17:2

“Honey, Randolph attacked me and is holding our dearest daughter hostage!” Spoiled exclaimed, wrapped her arms around her husband and leaning into his chest. Filthy Rich looked at Diamond Tiara who clung onto Randolphs leg.

There should be an apostrophe there to show possession. One or two other instances of this crop up in the chapter. Otherwise, it looks good and I'd like to read more. Not a lot of stories touch on abuse by a female, either in this community or in general fiction, and it's refreshing to see this.

Wait...haven't I read this before? I swear I've read this somewhere before...

I've been waiting for a story about Filthy Rich getting a divorce. And it's finally here! Serves you right, Spoiled! Fingers crossed that she'll get arrested.

9972622
True. Abuse is abuse, regardless of gender. Anyone can be a perpetrator and anyone can be a victim.

9973274
And a lot of people forget that, unfortunately.

9973337
It just frustrates me that the media portrays abuse in a pretty biased manner. There are plenty of female perpetrators (e.g. Nicole Arbour, Amber Heard) and male victims (e.g. Matthew Santoro, Johnny Depp) of domestic abuse.

9973340
Truly, it’s one of the most crushing things to have so skewed. And it’s made so much worse with how female abusers garner a lot of pity or real-life Draco in Leather Pants types of attention. Blegh.

Now here is a story that could get interesting. Can't wait to see what happens next

“From now on I’ll spend less time with work and more time with my family. I just need to start deal with Spoiled.”

You should either removing start from this sentence or change deal to dealing so it'll read easier.

Similar to mine, but this Spoiled is waaaaay more abusive. Well done.

Looks like Spoiled's true colors are shown.

You know, i just wanted to say. Anybody who's worried Fimfiction is dying, look at how utterly popular this story is. This fandom is still alive and well, authors are still writing great stories like this.

I'm eager to see what he does to Spoiled.

I haven’t read the fanfiction. But here’s a question: Was it ever a valid marriage in the first place? When Spoiled made her marriage vows: Did she actuality mean what she was saying, or were they just empty words to her?

9974346
I feel like she was just with Spoiled Rich for his money

Is this being redone or is this a different story???

9974389
This is a different story

You got my attention!

Hope Spoiled will get her comeuppance for what she did to Diamond! :flutterrage:

i hope Spoiled gets exactly what she deserves!

9972622
Largely its because people don't want to admit it. Not trying to make some big social comment or anything, but I thinks it been accepted because the damage a male can do physically is a lot worse then what a female can do.

(demon voice) TAKE ME TO SPOILED MILK RICH!!! FOR I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT TOLERATE ABUSE OF ANY KIND!!! I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF IT AND IT JUST BURN ME UP!!!

9975184
...That’s really just an excuse for misandry, which is why female abusers are ignored in the first place. Not to mention, there’s more abuse than physical and that’s just as damaging.

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