Whipstitch

by Pennington Inkwell

Hair, Death, and Getting High

"Whipstitch!" A familiar voice called out through the air as the unicorn in question, and Whipstitch looked up from the flower stand that she had been standing in front of to find the source.

"Lily!"

Coming into view through the crowd was another pink unicorn that Whipstitch had known for many years. Unlike Whipstitch, her coat was a more faded shade of pink, and her mane was a robin's-egg-blue that fell down to her shoulders in a much shorter style than Whipstitch's, though the hair of her tail was a bit longer, barely long enough to drag on the ground. She was waving enthusiastically to Whipstitch, and had taken up a trot to meet her.

Whipstitch laughed as the two of them collided in a firm embrace, happy to be reunited again.

"How have you been?" Lily asked, releasing the hug after a few seconds. "What are you doing here in Canterlot?"

"You're not going to believe this..." Whipstitch grinned sadistically as Lily's eyes rolled.

"Whipstitch, we're in Canterlot. Anything can happen here."

You're telling me... Whipstitch thought as her lollipop changed flavors again, this time to a bitter lime. "I'm doing repairs for the Princesses. They needed their tapestries repaired in the Grand Hall." She grinned in spite of the bitter taste as Lily's jaw dropped. "And how have you been? I business holding up well?"

"Well you know how these Canterlot ponies are... A new mane for every day of the week. Since the new summer season is coming out, the hairstyling business is an industrious one." Lily smiled brightly and nodded in the direction that she had come from. "Come on, I saved us a couple of seats!"

Whipstitch nodded and easily made her way through the crowd. She stopped only once, when a sudden, painful tug at her head brought her to a screeching halt.

"Hey, watch your hooves!" She shouted at a nearby stallion, who had mistakenly stood on her mane. She kept it long on purpose, and over the years, it had grown with her tail to be long enough to drag on the ground, though she always made sure to subconsciously levitate it when the conditions called for it. She was proud of her mane, despite the occasional Rapunzel-related nickname.

"Well, maybe you should get that rat's nest trimmed!" The yellow-coated stallion replied, picking up his hoof as if he had just stepped in a mud puddle.

"What did you just say?" Immediately, Whipstitch's eyes lit up with fiery indignation as she spun back around to face the antagonist. Lily had learned a long time ago not to try and tamper with Whipstitch's hair, and even telling a joke about it would be like stepping into a minefield. "Why don't you say that to my face, you motherbucking plothole!"

"Whipstitch!" Lily hissed, grabbing her friend by the shoulder to try and restrain her. "Watch your language!"

"Hmph! Obviously not from Canterlot. Not just unkempt, but uncouth." The snooty stallion didn't seem to care about her anger, instead turning to walk away. As he did, he purposely stomped his front hoof down on the hair of her tail, giving it a swift, 90-degree twist to grind it into the dirt. With a smug grin, he walked away again into the crowd.

This took a few moments for Whipstitch to process. When it did, though, Lily began to detect a faint smell of something burning. When she looked over, she saw a faint smoldering glow in Whipstitch's hair, as if dying embers had been sprinkled in her hair that morning.

Uh oh...

With a quick sudden, snappy motion, Whipstitch moved her flank back and forth. Her offended tail picked up into the air with the motion and flew out into the crowd with a loud cracking sound.

"Ga-AK!"

Like a fisherpony retrieving his catch, Whipstitch pulled her tail back again, bringing the stranger back into sight. The black strands of her tail were wrapped around his neck in a noose-like loop, and he was quickly dragged face-first to the ground.

"You little bucker... You got somethin' to say to me?" Whipstitch bore down on him like a wildcat, placing a hoof on the top of his head to stop him from getting up. Her hair was now clearly smoking, creating a small black cloud above her head.

The stallion now looked as if he feared for his life. "I-I-I guess that I just need to say... It's a lovely mane! Quite lovely! Charming, even!"

"And should I cut it?" Whipstitch growled.

"N-NO! No! Don't cut it! It's perfect just the way it is!" He cried, quickly switching between looking up at her and down at the ground again. "If anything, you should grow it out even more!"

"That's what I thought." Whipstitch gave her hoof an identical twist, grinding it into his forehead, before letting him up. "Watch yourself the next time you feel like insulting somepony's mane..."

The stallion nodded quickly, then ran from the smoldering unicorn, shoving ponies left and right in his panic.

"You haven't changed, have you, Whips?" Lily walked up next to her and inhaled deeply. After holding her breath for a second, she turned and blew on Whipstitch's hair, snuffing it out like a candle. "Your hair certainly hasn't. Still shows your magical heritage..."

As the smoke cleared, Whipstitch turned back around and began to walk again, the ponies around them now giving her a wide path to the small café that Lily had come from.

"I see you've perfected your 'tail whip!'" Lily laughed as she caught up to her.

"They don't call me Whip-stitch for nothing!" The second unicorn chuckled. "It was 'super effective,' wasn't it?"

"You're kidding, right?" Whipstitch sighed. "I just saw him last night! He looked terrible, as if he hadn't slept in days!"

"That's usually when he starts getting his absolute worst ideas..." Lily shook her head, as if talking about an unruly foal. "But I saw him this morning. He came in to say hello and pay me in advance for his next few visits."

"And where did he say that he was going?"

"He said something about visiting 'going camping.'"

"Well, that doesn't seem so bad."

"Yes, until I looked in one of his bags while he was distracted... He had his self-drawn map of Everfree" Lily groaned and rolled her eyes almost in sync with Whipstitch.

"I swear, Callalily, that foal will be the death of us..." She took a large bite from the sandwich on her plate, chewing thoughtfully. "On the other hoof, maybe if we stopped worrying about Pennington Inkwell so much, he might stop doing these crazy stunts? If we give the dog a little more leash, he might stop pulling..."

Both of them held a straight face for all of three seconds before bursting into uproarious laughter.

"So... Are we really going to try to figure out how to get him to stop?" Lily asked as she wiped a tear of laughter from her eye.

"Well, Lily, I've learned something from Pennington, in all seriousness." Whipstitch smiled as he lollipop changed to a flavor that reminded her of the thread that she so often nibbled on during her work. It was a familiar taste. "And that's that sometimes, ponies leave." She shrugged at the simplistic statement. "Whether he's Pennington Inkwell or Scorching Quill, he can't keep still. He might leave for a day or a month. He never gives any notice, so one day, he might be there, and the next, he's gone. Just like that." She took a long sip from her milkshake, allowing the vanilla-bean goodness to mix with the flavor of fresh thread.

"But, he could die out there!" Lily shook her head in denial, gently pounding her hoof onto the table in frustration. "He never takes that seriously! One day he could be here, and the next, he's dead!"

"Then he dies." Whipstitch found no smugness in her continued simplicity, but she had fallen into a more contemplative mood after the caffeine of her coffee had finally worn off. "Lily, Pennington does what he wants because he loves to do it. Every pony lives their life the way that they want, and that makes every life amazing. Whether it's one hour or a thousand years, as long as a pony comes into life, they live it perfectly by their own standard."

Lily shook her head in confusion. "Whips, I don't understand. I have plenty of regrets, and I'm sure Pennington does, as well! Lots of ponies have regrets, so how can you say that every pony lives their life perfectly?"

Whipstitch's eyebrows came together as she thought harder, and she closed her eyes to bring her mind to a sharpened point. "I suppose that... Life is choices, right? Throughout our entire lives, we make a million choices. But, no matter what, we always try to make the best one for us. If it makes us happy to make somepony else happy, then we live a selfless life. If it makes us happy to be greedy, then we'll try to get things for ourselves our entire lives." She smiled and took a new bite of her sandwich, chewed, then swallowed, suddenly happy as her point gained new clarity in her own mind. "But, no matter what, we always try to make the choice that will make us the most happy. Our entire lives are nothing but choices that make us happy! So, when a pony dies, whether they know it or not, they've been making themselves happy their entire life. They would never have lived it another way, because they followed what they truly wanted. So, in a very special way, every life is perfect." She finally opened her eyes again, looking straight into Lily's. "That's my philosophy. If Pennington were to die, then he would die perfectly: living his life the way he wanted. We would have no right to take that from him."

This silenced Lily, who stared at her in absolute shock.

"Well, anyway, that's just what I was thinking." She decided to forego the straw, putting the glass of her milkshake to her mouth and taking large gulps until she had drained it.

"Whipstitch, that may have been the most profound thing that I ever heard you say..."

"Don't get used to it," she chuckled. "You caught me in the tiny window between caffeine high and caffeine crash."

"Eh, you never crash too hard..." Lily smiled as a unicorn waiter came to visit them.

"And how are you both enjoying your meals?" He asked, looking at each of their plates.

"Oh, it's lovely!" Lily chirped, putting on a cheerful face for the waiter. "Could I have a refill of my chocolate milkshake, please?"

The waiter nodded and put Lily's empty glass on a tray that he was holding in the air with magic. "And would you like one, as well, ma'am?"

Whipstitch pondered the glass for a moment. "Well, it's too early for martinis, but too late for coffee... I suppose another milkshake would be nice!"

"Those will be out in just a few minutes." The waiter nodded and walked away again, leaving them alone once more.

Whipstitch grimaced as a sudden wave of dizziness swept over her, nearly knocking her out of the chair.

"Whoa! Whoa..." She leaned against the back of the chair for support, trying to sit as still as possible as the laws of gravity seemed to gyrate around her.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, getting up out of her seat and offering a steady hoof on her shoulder. This, however was the equivalent of stopping a carnival ride: Whipstitch's dizziness stopped increasing, but she felt like she had just been slapped in the face with something... something that made her extremely dizzy.

A "Dizzy bat..." I feel like I just got hit by a baseball bat that makes you dizzy.

"Yes... I'm fine..." Suddenly, she was struggling to keep her daisy sandwich down. "Just a new... Ugh... medication. It's supposed to have a few side effects..."

"Medication? Are you sick?" Lily asked, seemingly horrified at the thought. "Do I need to take you to a doctor?"

"No, no... It's passing." Whipstitch slowly at up again as gravity seemed to reassert itself in the proper direction. "And I'm not sick, it's for helping me learn to use a new type of magic..."

"A... new type of magic?" Lily asked as she walked back to her seat. "What other kind of magic is there than just... magic?"

"Well, it's a long and complicated story..." Whipstitch shoved the rest of her sandwich in her mouth and quickly chewed and swallowed it to calm her still-spinning stomach. "And I'm actually not supposed to tell anypony. He made me swear to secrecy."

"Oh... He?" Lily's expression changed from worried to bemused. "This is new, Whipstitch... I thought that your only crush was on Discord..."

Whipstitch laughed at their inside joke. Ever since they had first met in the Canterlot Gardens and she had mentioned her fondness for chaos, her "crush on Discord" had been Lily's teasing point.

"No, no! He's not Discord." Not by a long shot... "He's actually... Another... student of chaos!" She smiled as she finally thought of something to say. She hated to lie to Lily, but if she was going to keep Eclipse as a friend, she knew that no other ponies could know that he was there until he was ready for it. "He thinks that ponies are going to judge him if he's open about it, so he keeps it a secret. Made me swear not to tell anypony who he was."

Lily thought for a moment, rolled her eyes, then took a bite of her lasagna. "Whenever you want to tell me the whole truth, Whips, feel free."

Whipstitch cringed ad the off-handed remark struck deep. "I'm sorry, Callalily, but I can't do that yet. He made me promise to keep a few secrets, so I can't tell you the whole truth..." She stopped the apology as she became light-headed, brining a hoof to her forehead. "Oh boy, here we go... AGAIN?"

She was hovering in the air above her seat, and quickly beginning to rise. "LILY!"

"Don't worry!" Lily jumped up and grabbed a hoof full of Whipstitch's mane. "I've got you! How are you doing that?"

"I don't know!" Whipstitch cringed again, but this time, somepony touching her mane was doing it for a good reason. "It must be this stupid lollipop! He said that it would have side effects!"

"Well, take it out!" Lily shouted as her front leg stretched farther and farther as the pull on Whipstitch seemed to grow stronger.

Whipstitch, who was beginning to understand how a balloon felt, nodded and reached up to the stick of the candy. Sorry, Eclipse.

The sweet refused to move.

Whipstitch blinked, shook her head, then gave it a firm tug.

The sweet refused to move.

Using both hooves, Whipstitch grabbed the lollipop stick and pulled on it with all of her strength.

The sweet refused to move.

"It's- It's stuck!" Whipstitch groaned. It didn't seem to be attached to any point in her mouth, but refused to budge from its particular point in space unless it was moving with the rest of her body.

"You're joking, right?" Lily groaned as she held on with both hooves to prevent her friend from flying up into the sky. "I can't pull you down with magic, either! Every time I try, I can't touch you with it!"

Whipstitch folded her front legs in over her chest, now feeling entirely ridiculous. "Great... Fan-bucking-tastic."

"Um, Whips?" Lily grunted, trying hard to keep her grip.

"What?"

"There may be a bigger problem..."

"A bigger problem? You've got to be kidding me if you think that we've got a bigger problem than the fact that my body suddenly thinks that it's a Pegasus! If you have a bigger problem than the fact that I have a one-way ticket to Pluto, please, enlighten me!" As she spoke, however, Lily's back hooves finally left the table, and they both rose together into the sky, with Whipstitch providing the buoyancy and Lily as an unfortunate passenger.

"W-well, I think that we both have one-way tickets to Pluto..." Lily stammered whille quickly climbed her way up to Whipstitch's body and tightened her grip on one of her back legs.

Comments

[-Brutus]

This....is...awesome! You deserve alot more of views than this!

[Pennington Inkwell]

2012471 Thank you! I'm glad that you like it! This has been a LOT of fun to write, and Gina (the REAL Whipstitch) has been loving it! This story actually helped us form a partnership, of sorts, so there will be much more on the way!

[Svgb]

Every now and again you'll come across something so well thought out, hilarious, and well written that you can't help but laugh along with the characters.

This is one of those stories.

A literal diamond in the rough. You deserve some recognition, hell, the front page!

Happily yours,

Svgb

[Pennington Inkwell]

2013598 You, good sir, just made my day!

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate feedback, and you're more than kind with yours!

As for the front page... That would be nice, but may stay out of reach for a little while longer. I don't know if this one is ready for that kind of recognition.

But thank you! As I said, your comment made my day!

Sincerely flattered,

Pennington Inkwell

[Svgb]

2013670 Well your story made mine, it's good to know that I helped a little in return!

[Themaskedferret]

This holds the honour of being the only fic I can recently call to mind that not only made me smile but also made me fave it before I've even seen the first page. You sir are awesome.

[Pennington Inkwell]

2014652 And it is quite the honor to hold, good sir! Thank you so much for the favorite and, even more, for reading and enjoying the story!

It you happen to want to read more about Eclipse Tumult, you could also find him in my story, "Brothers." That one's more about him, though it isn't quite as funny as this one.

[Themaskedferret]

2014853 I will definitely seek it out! Also small typo you said "brining" when I'm fairly certain you had meant bringing

[Pennington Inkwell]

2021881 Thanks... Everything I put on fimfiction is a first draft, so I don't go back to look for mistakes very often... It's good that you pointed it out, thank you!

[PrismaPeacePetal]

So Whipstitch/Gina got me to read this. She promised to read some of my hubby's stories in return and then we can chat and trade thoughts and what not.
It's been fun. For me the whole thing really got going when she got to Canterlot. I do have a few questions, if you don't mind. A few bits confused me and maybe you can clarify or smooth those points of the story.
In chapter 4 it was implied she was lying to Celestia that she had plans to meet a friend for lunch. It would be easy enough to change that to a truth and she's just leaving out the additional reason she wants more leisure time. That could help set up and establish the opening for Chapter 5. But Chapter 5's start felt confusing and took some thinking to figure out because I didn't expect her to *actually* be going to lunch (Perhaps at the same place Celestia suggested?). And I had to wonder if Lily is an OC, someone she's drawn who is a friend in real life, or some obscure pony that I didn't remember.
Between 'super effective' (props for the pokemon reference) and 'you're kidding' felt like a jump and left me wondering what happened. I guess they sat down and started eating, and saying that would have bridged it.
Isn't Pennington too old to be a foal? I was under the impression that was for much younger male ponies.
This last bit made me realize it was the same day as the previous chapter: She's still sucking the lollipop which Eclipse said last chapter would be finished about 10pm that night. So it must be the same day. But that also raises the question... how is she having sandwiches and milkshakes while sucking a lollipop?
So please don't take this critique to mean anything bad. I am enjoying the tale and look forward to seeing where it goes. I just figure, at best maybe I can help it be even better by lending my thoughts. In any case, thank you for writing and thrilling my friend by using her character! :)