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Shakespearicles


The Man. The Legend. The World's Strongest Writer

Comments ( 90 )

Fun fact: I remember my father at one point talking about a bar band named "Free Beer" in relation to the Barenaked Ladies, and I think there was probably at least a little bit of a "what happened to them anyway" undertone and then I found out that the Barenaked Ladies were previously known as "Free Beer" and it all fell into place.

This is barely relevant at all but it probably helps to have something else to be flabbergasted by after reading a story like this one. (Also seriously, it's not that much weirder than drinking stuff that came out of a cow's tits, right?)

10086498
Cow milk was meant to be drank, cause it holds nutrients and calcium for growing bodies. Whilst urine is filled with salts and minerals the body couldn’t process, therefore is excreted. So no, it’s very different.

Ok, that was all fun until Anon wanted to drink from the tap. That made me want to gag. Just a little.

Is it wrong to be intrigued and only slightly revolted by that?

Still, it was a great and funny story!

10086519

Is it wrong to be intrigued and only slightly revolted by that?

That's exactly the reaction I was aiming for.

10086510
You're forgetting the dietary differences between species; cow milk may be intended for drinking, but it's only intended for drinking by baby cows. I'll keep drinking it because it's cheap and I'm cheap, but it's still weird when you think about it. And the fact that it's only possible for adult humans to keep drinking it due to a fortuitous mutation doesn't exactly help its case.

A similar case is spicy peppers, which specifically evolved not to be eaten by mammals, so of course we selectively breed them to strengthen that trait and then eat them anyway. Humans are completely insane by the standards of the rest of the planet, is what I'm saying, and we don't notice because the only thing we ever listen to is each other and mostly not even then.

10086538

Humans are completely insane by the standards of the rest of the planet, is what I'm saying, and we don't notice because the only thing we ever listen to is each other and mostly not even then.

The world, Nature, hates us. We, weak squishy stupid insane humans have survived, beaten back, and openly mocked that salty cunt Mother Earth since we first picked up a stick and impaled some screeching horrors bug eyed child on it to cook it over a fire, and we're fixing to take our show on the road. And if you think the Earth is harsh, that's nothing compared to whats beyond it.

We're insane, delusional, and completely oblivious... and that's a good thing

"Fuck it. Do you mind if I drink straight from the tap?"

Unf.

Huk
Huk #8 · February 15th · · 1 ·

"Fuck it. Do you mind if I drink straight from the tap?"

Oh, something tells me she wouldn't mind :trollestia:

Such one shots are golden - quick and to the point, and makes you laugh your ass of. Nice sir :moustache:!

Pffff... :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I'd love to know the train of thought that made this story exist.

10086522
It's good to be in like minded company!

Have a like and a fav!

Pic looks like it was drawn by the Horse Wife guy. Used to love that tumblrpon.

10086585
Not the author, but I'm assuming something like this:

"This beer tastes like piss"
"This beer is actually piss"
"Kirin Brewery is a thing that exists"
"This beer is the kirin proprietor's piss"

10086658
Ah, the idea seems much more likely to be gotten knowing the brewing company.

10086658
10086676
That and [ Kirin Beer is Pee ] is literally tag on Derpibooru based on the brewery meme.

10086680
Haha, I'm surprised that I'm surprised that that's a tag.

10086624

Pic looks like it was drawn by the Horse Wife guy

That’s because he did draw it. Check the source. ;)

10086743
10086747
Damn, you both provide some seriously good arguments. 🤔

Okay. For that image... I can't get over the fact that her chin fluff looks like a droopy, disappointed mouth, and her mouth looks like a nose. It's... such a distressing face when I look at it like that. I can't unsee it.

10086680
That just means that multiple people independently came to the train of thought I described, and then you saw that and agreed.

10086838

her chin fluff looks like a droopy, disappointed mouth

You know, I looked at it for a good five minutes, and tried squinting and I couldn't see it. And I was just about to say "I don't see it" and then BAM! I saw it. And after all that deliberate effort, I have ruined it for myself too.
i.redd.it/uzh28hxt148z.jpg

10086903
YES. Just like the Ren face.

I would of though they would piss kerosene :rainbowlaugh:

I need a Kirin girlfriend.

10086538

we selectively breed them to strengthen that trait and then eat them anyway.

When you put it like that, humans sound kinda badass.

10087549
Forget a big tiddy goth girlfriend,
Get you a beer pissin Kirin marefriend!

10086538
I don't know that I'd call domestication a fortunate mutation, but okay.

10087654
The first person to drink cow's milk must have been very very thirsty.

10087654
I was talking about the mutation in humans; adult mammals are supposed to be lactose-intolerant and it's once again us who are the weird ones.

10087682
I really don't think so. It's not that apparent now because most of us have almost unlimited access to free carbs and sugar, but for someone or something that only gets access to sweet foods seasonally if at all most milk fats and sugars smell extremely appetizing.

10087688
Most adult humans are lactose intolerant to a greater or lesser extent. It doesn't stop us (or any other predator, scavenger, and more than a few herbivores) from eating or drinking a bit of dairy if given the opportunity. The "only humans can drink milk" thing is just another hfy myth that doesn't have any grounding in fact.

10087694
Then you used the wrong dismissive joke. That some herbivores will eat meat if it happens to be available and get away with it because they keep the portions small enough is a relevant comparison as well.

10087703
Okay. So what? No one's arguing that herbivores won't eat meat. You are however arguing that adult humans are the only animals capable of drinking milk, which is a lie.

10087703
I think that the root of this is that you think lactose intolerance is the product of an evolutionary path, when in reality it's mostly caused by upbringing. All mammals- including humans- lose the ability to process lactose after weaning unless somehow given the opportunity to continue ingesting it, in which case they retain at least some ability to comfortably process it. The only thing that sets humans apart here is our ability to secure a long-term supply of milk, meat, leather, and fertilizer; I guarantee that if dogs, cats, goats, raccoons, or anything else were able to do the same, they would.

10087727
In other words, misinformation that took entirely too long for you to realize was even present, and couldn't be corrected until you did. (For the record, the distinction between "will eat" and "can comfortably process" was left repeatedly unaddressed because you didn't realize I was making it)

10087727
As an aside, can I just say that I get into the strangest arguments in the strangest places, and that it's actually mostly deliberate on my part?

This is the most wholesome ponyfic I read in a while :rainbowlaugh:

You've been talking to Admiral Biscuit again, haven't you? This topic was a fun one back at Bronycon.

Would be funny if Anon had gotten into beer-making due to a dry Equestrian culture, gone through the whole process, brought a beer out of his workshop, and Karen goes:

"Da fuq?! You made Kirin piss in a vat?!"

10086624
Yea, TJ Pones is pretty much solely responsible for this meme getting off the ground :rainbowwild:

10087776
Someone needs to write that.

10087756
Hey, the time isn't going to kill itself.

10087799
Epstime didn't kill itself.

10087822
Sweet mother of god, it all makes sense.

Only Shakespearicles could write about drinking Kirin piss and make it to both 'hot' and 'featured'. I can't handle this neutron style.

10087746
Dude you said it was a mutation, he's saying it isn't, why are you trying to make it about the difference between "can comfortable process" and "will eat" when he made clear that the first thing you said, which is what he's been responding to this whole time, is wrong?

10088005
Except he didn't say it wasn't a mutation. At least not properly. That was the misunderstanding. Which, y'know, was resolved before you put in your two cents.

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