The Ultimate Evil

by Strawberry Sunrise

A Visitor in Ponyville

“Who or what is that?” Rainbow Dash thought to herself. There was a visitor in Ponyville, and they looked quite unlike anything anypony had ever seen. Tall and slightly green with two tentacle-like arms and four tentacle-like legs, a bulbous head with a drooping, bulbous nose, and a shirt but no pants, they meandered through the streets, seemingly aimless. Several ponies had already closed up their shops and headed back home, locking their doors and securing their windows…just to be safe. But Rainbow Dash was braver than that, and with Pinkie Pie out delivering a cake to the Crystal Empire, she felt that it was her duty to welcome the visitor, whoever they were, to Ponyville.

Flying down from the cloud on which she had been perched, Rainbow Dash approached the strange being. It looked up at her and stopped in its tracks, seeming to await her next move. Not sensing much of a threat but still hesitant to get too close, Rainbow Dash paused her flight, hovering at what she believed would be a safe distance. The being continued to stare, but Rainbow Dash took it in stride, exclaiming, “Welcome to Ponyville! I’m Rainbow Dash! What’s your name?”

The being opened its mouth as if to speak, then closed it. With a slight smile, it slowly moved one of its tentacle-like arms to point at a nametag on its chest. Rainbow Dash squinted, just barely able to read the words on the tag, which was rather dirty and beat-up. “Squidward…Tentacles?” The being nodded, lowering its arm. “So, uh…not to make assumptions, but is that a guy name or…?” The being nodded again.

“Cool,” Rainbow Dash said. “Well, hey, I can show you around if you want.”

A long pause. “Uh…” Rainbow Dash started to say, unsure how to proceed. She was sure Pinkie would have been able to get the visitor talking in no time. Heck, she probably would have pulled them along on a tour whether they liked it or not. But that wasn’t Dash’s style.

To the side of the street, a teal pony who had locked herself in her house upon the arrival of the visitor cautiously opened her door, poking out her head and waving with one hoof. “Hi, Squidward,” she said tentatively.

Without warning, Squidward’s entire body suddenly jerked to the side, a quick series of halting motions ending with him facing this other pony. His head tilted, his mouth curled into a slow smile, and the pony ducked back inside her house, slamming the door behind her.

As the door slammed, Squidward’s smile disappeared and his eyes flashed red. “Hey, it’s alright. They’ve just got to get to know you, is all,” Rainbow Dash told him. “Everypony is nice here, really!”

Squidward opened his mouth. He raised his arms at an angle, near his head and pointed toward the left. And in a nasal voice that seemed to come not from within him but from within the depths of the planet itself, sending echoing ripples through the very fabric of reality, he said just one word.

DAB.

Comments

[VeryDeadlyBee]

Oh no. OH HEAVENS NO! DEAR GOD EVERYONE RUN!