• Member Since 17th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

SethFilms


Pineapples. Just random pineapples.

T

I tend to not write dialogue well. Human tag only for beginning of story or when needed.
You've been warned.


I am the first ever Brony, now I am stuck in Equestria with my new friends.
It hurts that I can turn into a pony. Greatttt~.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This is set in the beginning of Season 1 Episode 1
And is edited by EmptyPlotFiller

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 18 )

You're living the dream, man. Gonna help you try and get this right. Keep at it.

Nice start. I like this one.

And congrats on your first story bro.

This is pretty good! Keep at it!

I already know your character is full of shit when it says they were the first brony. And that's just in the description itself.

9973094
You don't need to be mean. Did you even read the story? When I read the description I had my doubts about it too, but it's actually not bad.

9973986
Thank you for supporting me even though I am new!

9974011
Of course! I don't like it when people judge a book by it's cover. I think your story is genuinely good and can go places!

9973986
When a self insert claims to be the first of anything, then it needs to be called out for B.S.

9974200
Yeah, I was a little put off by the description at first. But I decided to give it a try. And it's actually pretty good.

Huh, he writing is 'tolerable', the beguiling was kind of weak, but once you got the ball rolling you were starting to have a good groove, which was nice, so I think you you will quickly improve as you keep on writing. You might want to practice adding more details in what is happening around him, especially when describing characters especially cannon one in how they look and what you main character is familiar with them in terms of personalty and quirk. From experience, always go with the premise that the readers don't 'who are the Mane 6' and 'what the buck in Equestria' as it allows you to better characters them to your readers and your own mind; trust me the descent HIE don't skip out on that point. All in all, this looks like this is going to be a either a light heated story or the MC is going to shew everything up for everypony. Also it would help that you proved a good description of you main character, I don't think the one from Pony down is bad at all but it would help for the sake of the story.

Looking forward to see more of your work, you are on a good start.

Also if you are looking to commission a cover art of your story give me a holler, here is the link to my DA gallery.

https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku

9974200
? I really don’t understand what you’re rambling about. This story isn’t claiming to be the first of anything. Why are you suddenly raging?

If you don’t like the story plot or character then just send a politely worded comment on how the author could improve and be on your way. You came here for fan fiction not the next frickin Shakespeare. You don’t have bash in and throw in a comment grenade and take everybody out.

We’re all supposed to be a team here, not some sort of toxic cesspool :(

Nice, your writing is getting smoother, and more consistent.

9976910
All thanks to my editor! XD
I am new to writing so its a little bumpy, that's why I need a permanent editor.

I had my doubts about this at first, but now I'm really interested! This is a lot better than your first chapter. Keep it up!

9982675
Thanks, I just uploaded the third chapter!

Chapter 4 is done but needs editing!

Okay, so...........this chapter was pretty good! I'm a little bit put off by the fact that Colored Question is going to be the "seventh element of harmony"--it's pretty cliche for an OC to be that. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt though! I have a feeling to can make this truly enjoyable.
Also, I love Question's random powers. Sounds like something Pinkie Pie could do. :pinkiehappy:

9982681
Ik its cliche, but I wanted to give him something that relates him to the mane 6.
It will become apparent at the end of the Nightmare Moon accident.

Nice chapter I do like the twist and the reality warping the guy can do, I wonder if there will be something different from the outcome of the pilot episode? Looking forward to see what will happen for him next.

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