• Member Since 30th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

JimmyHook19


"Jimmy Hook's the Name, Transformations is my Game" (Victim of The Cursed Gift since September 2016)

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Something Peachy


Jimmy has decided to go to sea! But if sailing on a cruiseliner is not bereft of strange mishaps, it is not clear what will be...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 240 )

Here we are again!

Hit the seas!

Nice story. Also, FIRST COMMENT!!!

9948238
3-1 so far (with Upvotes leading :raritywink:)

9948237
I was in first, actually.

9948246
Oh, I didn't see it.

9948251
Maybe we posted at the same time.

9948264
You're missing an apostrophe.

Very cute, I think the sea pone TF's are a favorite of mine.

9948281
Indeed X3 I know for sure that I am getting this unique species in MLP some much needed transformation love of course :yay:

9948284
This comment section is so chaotic.

I came here expecting that I can read this alone, but apparently it's episodic, which means I have to read the earlier ones to understand what's going on. It didn't really have an ending either, so that's a oof. This confuses new viewers who just want the whole story. If it can't stand on it's own, then it's not a sequel, it's an episode or a chapter. Please make these 'stories' into a multiple chapters.

One other thing, ask yourself this question. Why should a reader care about the characters shown your story? Why should I care about the narrator at the beginning, let alone the main character of the story? On the merits of this chapter alone, I really don't have any reaaon to care about Jimmy or whoever he transformed into, nor the narrator at the beginning. The key words are this: relatability, personality, character, and choice. Work on those, and people would start caring more about your stories

9948380
That's entirely your opinion and not mine. :ajsmug:

But I will assume that you are a new reader to my stories, so I will give you that. :)

And FYI:

It didn't really have an ending either, so that's a oof.

Did you even brother to read what is said in the Author's note though? :P Besides, there is a thing called one-shots you know ;P

9948380
I'll run the idea by Jimmy and see what he thinks. I edited this, and in many ways this collection works in a similar manner to an anthology.

9948381
Please don't be rude.

9948427
It wasn't too rude though ^^' I did say this to start off:

that's entirely your opinion and not mine. :ajsmug:

I'm still following that of course :raritywink:

9948432
There's also some text you never sent me to edit.

9948433
I was trying to do a little bit of a surprise of my own for you :raritywink:

9948439
Okie Dokie Lokie X3

9948443
Very :P

Skies still remain overcast for today at my location but the winds of the Nor'easter from this past weekend are finally gone now.

9948449
Oh! 5-2 to as of now :P

9948381
You mean... This?

"Will Ocean Flow find her kids? Find out in a future story from me in due time :raritywink:

Also I lay claim to the first Ocean Flow TG TF so..... celebratory songs from yours truly X3 (as well as being my not backing down/not giving up songs in that I'm not listening to those)"

This is seriously, litteraly equivalent of: "Will Goku muster the strength defeat Frieda? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z" and you even do the music outro. This is by definition, episodic.

There are stories with plenty of sequels, but what makes them different is that each story had heir mini conflict and character arcs, which they resolve. Some of them could even be either in on story or in multiple chapter settings . Contrast that with this 'story' that doesn't resolve any conflict.

Any questions?

9948513
I put music in my Author's note for those to listen to of course :ajsmug:


And for the record, there are 5 other transformation stories from me that have multi-chapters in them, those 5 being..... The Belle Rings True, Sands of Time, All the World's a Stage, Herbs and Rhymes, and South Swamp Rag (which is currently being progressed on :P)

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