Chapter 4: Rain on My Parade
She wanted to ask a million things. 'Why did you kill my parents that night?' 'Did you know you were killing them?' 'Why didn't you contact authorities?' 'Was it the only way?' She wanted to make sure that at least they knew what they had done, and they apologized for their actions. She wanted to so badly.
But then she saw Cadance next to her, unusually pale from head to hoof. Although Pillar was seething mad at her for keeping this a secret for the whole time, she couldn't plunge her into even more misery by shouting at her parents. She silently hoped for Cadance to never look for her again, and only said these words: "Sorry ma'am. I won't come back again." before going down the stairs and into the dark alley outside. "You'd better!" called a voice behind her as she trotted out the doorway.
The night sky was shrouded with clouds, and a crackle of lightning was followed by booms of thunder, and by a downpour that completely soaked Pillar's yellow coat. She recalled the time her parents took their last walk down the same path, shielding her from the icy winds and relentless snow piling up to the top of their legs.
'It's going to be alright,' they lied, 'let's keep going.'
Soon, however, they stumbled, and stopped. 'Are you alright, mommy?' asked a young Pillar. 'I...I'm fine, sweetie, just.. a bit tired. I think your father and I need a rest,' her mother reassured her.
Young Pillar objected. 'But...but you have the pox! We need to find a place to stay, someplace warm... anywhere...' She was silenced by the large hoof of her father. 'Shh, we're okay. The lord thought that we would die off soon, but we're made of sturdier stuff. Just rest, and we'll get by.'
'You promise?' young Pillar cautiously asked. As they laid down in the middle of the street, Her mother chuckled sadly in her soft voice. 'Yes, we promise we'll be around you forever... always...'
Present Pillar, now almost an adult, finally understood everything. Her parents probably knew they weren't going to last through the snowstorm. Even if they did, after the postules began to leak, they would end up transmitting the pox to Pillar. So they died on purpose, giving their last warmth to Pillar to shield her from the storm. Positioning themselves on the middle of the street so she would be easily found.
She hated Cadance's parents for kicking her parents out, knowing that they would die.
She hated her parents for leaving her, alone in this harsh, cruel world.
She hated Celestia for finding her, for not letting her join them in the afterlife.
She hated Cadance for continuing their facade of a friendship, while knowing the truth in the first place.
Most of all, however, she hated herself for not being able to do a thing about it.
Pillar couldn't take it any longer. She collapsed onto the street, wailing and crying. Thankfully no one was there to see her because of the thunderstorm. Or so she thought. After a long while, she felt the rain stop, and a shadow loom over her.
She turned her head up, and saw Cadance looking down apon her, shielding her from the rain with some tears coming down her cheeks, as well.
Pillar shot her an angry look, and spoke up. "How long have you known?"
"From the beginning when we met," she replied with trembling lips. "You told me the whole story, remember? Even though I was like, seven when your parents left our house, I did remember them. They were such cheerful and good-natured folk."
"They didn't leave," snapped Pillar. "You guys drove them out. Drove two sick ponies and a helpless filly out into a blizzard that killed them. Don't you dare even speak about them, if you have any conscience left in you."
"We...We didn't know that would happen..." Cadance trailed off.
"LIAR!" Pillar finally lost her temper as she lunged at Cadance, throwing her off balance and crashing her straight into a brick wall. "You didn't KNOW that? You unicorns, with all your fancy magic tricks, with all those talks about harmony and friendship, with all the wisdom and knowledge from Star Swirl the Bearded, didn't KNOW that putting a pox victim out into a blizzard in the dead of night is going to kill them?"
She stopped for a moment, as Cadance shook the dust off herself and stood back up. "No... what you did was simply stay ignorant. You didn't care about another servant dying. Who cares? For a high, esteemed unicorn house of Equestria, we were just lowly earth ponies among many. Drive them out, forget about it, and get another one. Things return to "Harmony" within a day. Then it goes on again, and again, and again..." Pillar's eyes were constantly steaming tears as she continued on. "But what about you? You were silent when they kicked out my parents, and you kept silent through all these years with me by your side. Why? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was just scared!" Cadance blurted out. "I knew it was wrong. Knew they would suffer out in the cold, but I admit it, I didn't want to suffer the same fate... so I kept silent. When I first met you, I was scared that you were going to hate me if you knew the truth. I know this doesn't mean much, Pillar, but I'm really sorry. Sorry for not speaking up when I had the chance. Sorry for not telling you about this mess for all these years."
"Well, too bad you weren't sorry for it back then," she let out a bitter sigh. "Then again, you wouldn't have to be sorry if you had the balls to be that way."
With those words, Pillar left her behind, into the dark, raining night of Canterlot. She dutifully followed her way up into the castle, a route she knew by heart. A route she had walked with Cadance for so many years. Entering the gates, she soon reached her bedroom next to her workshop, and cried herself to sleep.
The new morning of Canterlot began with a beautiful sunrise, with the thunderstorm cleared and a red, yellow, and white hue slowly growing brighter from the horizon. However, Pillar wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. With swollen eyes from last night's failed sleepover, she didn't bother to wash or tie her hair as she walked up to the kitchen.
She wasn't surprised to find someone in there: some staff were vigilant, after all. However, as she turned and met eyes with the pony inside, she was surprised to find Princess Celestia herself. "Why, Pillar! It's good to see you, but shouldn't you be at Cadance's house having a sleepover?"
Pillar forced a smile. She couldn't let Celestia know that she ditched her best friend for what happened long ago. She hated herself for it, but she didn't want Celestia to hate her for it. "Nah, we forgot to notify her parents, and I didn't want to cause any trouble, so we ended the sleepover pretty early," she defended herself. In all honesty though, it's not all a lie, she thought.
"You really shouldn't have done that," scolded Celestia. "There was a thunderstorm outside last night, and no sane pony would ever go out there alone without a cover of some sort... but I am glad that you are here now, Pillar. I have something to talk about you. About us."
"Sure, what is it?" replied Pillar, albeit with mild apprehension. Celestia never used that tone if it wasn't something serious. "It is about what you are going to do after graduation." Pillar's apprehension suddenly became much greater.
"Um... princess," she began. "I know I flunked school. I know my grades are... mediocre at best. Hay, I don't even have my special talent. But I'll try to get a job in Canterlot after summer vacation. When I earn some money, I think I can rent a small house and a plot of land as a tenant. I'm an earth pony, so even if I don't have a special talent, I got to be good at farming, right?"
Celestia let out a small chuckle. "Well, you could do that, but I think you can be so much more. Although, I think this is not the right place to talk about it, don't you think?" she said, pointing at the messy kitchen. Pillar, curious, could only nod and follow her to the private dining room. Once they were seated with fresh oatmeal in their bowls, she finally spoke up.
"First off, I'm going to have to make some apologies. I was getting worried about what your future and special talent was going to be, and I remembered you liked to invent things in your workshop. So... I snuck into your private workshop. But I promise you, I didn't touch anything," she quickly added, looking at Pillar sheepishly.
Pillar shrugged. "Well, it's fine I suppose. It was just a hobby, and there wasn't much going on in there anyway."
Celestia appeared quite amused by this answer. "Really? I thought it was quite the contrary. Sure, there were some things that wouldn't really work out, but there were many designs that, if realized or enlarged, could be quite revolutionary."
Pillar was intrigued. She never thought her hobby could make a difference. "How so?" she asked.
"For starters, You haven't been charging your prosthetics off of me, anymore, haven't you? Your battery models are quite advanced now, being able to draw emanating magic from other ponies. If this could be enhanced, then we could be powering our entire cities without unicorns having to light them up with magic all day."
She went on, "Not only that, there were large self-moving boxes with wheels running on some tracks, a small trinket you can hold in your hand to talk with people far away... the possibilities of such inventions are endless! If you have proper funding and some proper research done, you could be helping not few, not hundreds, but millions of ponies! Doesn't that sound like a better vocation to you?"
Pillar was dreamy. Her only wish was coming true: to live a happy life while finding something she liked. She hadn't felt this happy since she met Cadance at her first day of school. Thinking about her failed friendship downed her mood a little, but the shining chance ahead of her was enough to silence that little bit of sadness. With a shaking voice, she gave her answer. "It does, and although I doubt those things will make much difference, I will try, princess. I will try."
"Excellent!" she exclaimed. "We have many things to organize, Pillar. Starting today." They ate their remaining meals quickly, and began their happy march up the stairs to Pillar's workshop.
As they crossed the sunlit halls of the castle, however, something on her flank caught her eye. It was a large gash, about three hooves wide and one hoof tall. There was a thin strip of blood-stained gauze on it, not quite enough to cover the whole injury.
At first, pillar tried to touch the gauze, trying to make it fit onto the wound. However, when she touched it, she could only feel fur and skin. She touched the wound itself, but instead of aggravating pain, she only felt a pleasant stroking sensation. Then, it finally hit her: this was her cutie mark. Her lifetime representation of her character.
The more she looked at it, however, the more confused she became. She wasn't interested in the field of medicine. She wasn't a brawler who was prone to get such a wound. The only violence she had commited was... yesterday. When she kicked her best friend into the wall of a narrow alleyway for her lies. She hadn't seen her cutie mark before then, and she had discovered it this morning, so it had to be the disastrous sleepover from yesterday.
Unfortunately, this meant she could narrow down her special talent into two things. Hurting others or getting hurt by others. Her mind was furious with angry questions. How can hurting or being hurt count as a special talent? Why do I have to get this talent? Can a cutie mark change? Should I tell this to Celestia and scrap our plans?
Her stupor was cut short by Celestia calling her name, though. "Pillar, are you coming?"
With some hesitation, she replied yes, and made up her mind. Life had been cruel to her multiple times. Sending her loving parents only to take them away. Sending her a friend who turned out to be their murderer's daughter. Through thick and thin, however, she stood her ground and fought. If this was what fate was pointing to her, she wouldn't just accept it blindly. She would try her best to defy her special talent, and focus on helping ponies as much as she could.
And with Celestia to help her, it might even work.
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That’s dark. Cadance’s parents caused Chrysalis’ parents to die because of their illness. That’ll destroy any friendship
10027579
Well, that's why the tag is up there. I don't know if I pulled off a convincing delivery, though..
Ouch... You fucked up, Lovebutt.
I am now somehow thinking. This world turns out to be cruel and unfair if fate depends on the mark that the carrier does not even choose himself
SPOILER ALERT!!!
SPOILER ALERT!!!
SPOILER ALERT!!!
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Plot hole! (In the non-euphemistic sense).
Pillar, you IDIOT-(savant), discovered a way to make schooling more possible for a third of the population (or at least the rich and/or scholarship worthy depending on cost), and you didn't ask your mother, the immortal ruler to get it into production? Filly, you REALLY need some self-respect.
Seeds of the theory that when it becomes biology rather than device will let her steal love?
Regardless of if she is missing a third interpretation or not: OUCH!!!
Good Mare!
I REALLY hope you don't have her manage to keep her Mark a secret from Celestia for more than say, an month... better yet would be if she doesn't even try. Not for nothing is Celestia nickname Momlestia in the fandom. Regardless of if she ever fully acted in that role to Pillar, or formally adopted her (which I had actually assumed she had, but now I think not).
I mean... I guess you could have Celestia fail with her to that extent (even worse.than she did in canon with Sunset Shimmer), but it would seem like a stretch, especially with the earlier plot hole I mentioned.