This Story is a Prequel to - The Heart That Forgot How to Feel
Taking place before the events of The Heart That Forgot How to Feel, Fluttershy's tragic death following her pregnancy presents itself with the opportunity of a lifetime for a local mad scientist with ambitions of building and developing Equestria's very first cyborg pony.
However, during the development phase when it comes to running his experiments to test his progress, the scientist finds himself entering a situation which is more than he ever anticipated, leaving him with plagued thoughts. He begins to wonder if he's doing the correct thing, toying around with the ethics that come with tradition, mortality and the concept of a second chance.
Perhaps, just maybe, this new experiment might open his eyes and heart a little...
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Ha, I was watching that the other night! The 2014 version, not the original. (Been so long since I've seen the original. Always wanted a briefcase that folds out into a submachine gun, too.)
A very nice story, even if it did drag on in some parts {makes me wonder if the author is a biology major}. Some bits are a bit confusing, as in the mention of sugarcube corner vs apparently keeping her in isolation, but that's not really an issue either. I also do like how the protagonist isn't a typical for SCIENCE!! stereotype, but a fairly fleshed out individual with his own motivations, doubts, emotions and regrets. Plus, at the end, I did like that the biggest twist was that there wasn't one.
So, all in all, I liked it. I might recommend splitting the story into a few chapters - the current format works as it is, but the length might seem a bit daunting. It's just a suggestion though.
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Ha, nah, I'm not a biology major; science was one of my strongest subjects, and I always paid attention to the biology side of things. I studied stem cells, artificial limbs, drugs, enzymes and the immune system, and I do have a BTEC in Engineering, but that's about it. (I really wish I stuck with it, taking it as an A level, along with history. Those are my own regrets.
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Yeah, I see where you're getting at. I know the story may drag in some areas, but remember that I intended this story to be based upon the dialogue rather than the general descriptions, more for the sole purpose of making sure the reader understands what's going on and what's happening, as this is a subject and topic that requires a lot of explaining. Having it being told through the eyes of Haysworth was a better alternative than writing tonnes of paragraphs which bore the reader, if you know what I mean.
The length concern, when you say it might work better separated into chapters, was my original idea, but I didn't want to do it that way. I've not had much luck with formatting my stories that way, truth be told. The length of this story wasn't intentional, it just happened that way, even if I tried to make it as short as possible while keeping all of the significant and important details.
Is...is that Cave Johnson?