10113226 Also Equestria is misspelled, as is Guardponies, princess could be capitalized, and the last sentence needs a little better punctuation, such as a comma after “money”, and “if” needs to be either capitalized or put a comma before it. Good premise though
Wrapping your hands around her fetlocks you try to pry her hooves from around your throat but she was just to strong. In response to your resistance Celestia used her magic to pick up a fork to stab you in the throat, but luck was on your side as said four pronged projectile became lodged harmlessly in your cloak string. Princess Celestia struggled to retrieve her makeshift dagger so that she could end your life.
Use your shoulder muscles, the shoulders can extert much more force than the muscles in the wrists or even arms.
In the description, you used the wrong "your"
In this case its "you're"
10113175
Thanks for noticing that. I'll fix it right away!
10113226
Also Equestria is misspelled, as is Guardponies, princess could be capitalized, and the last sentence needs a little better punctuation, such as a comma after “money”, and “if” needs to be either capitalized or put a comma before it. Good premise though
10113343
Ha ha! Yes! Thank you. These are the comments I live for! I learn from every mistake you point out and it makes me a better writer.
Fixed!
10113655
In hindsight I probably should have looked over and edited my description before publishing this.
Omg I love the interaction btwn Iron and Razor at the end lol.
You forgot the e in Princess.
10161797
Thank you glad you liked it
10161803
and... fixed! Thanks for spotting that.
Use your shoulder muscles, the shoulders can extert much more force than the muscles in the wrists or even arms.