For the Benefit of Yaks

by SirNotAppearingInThisFic

You Will Not Go to Space Today

Newspapers in Equestria leapt on the opportunity to start a controversy over whether the Yaks would win the space race. Few ponies could believe that the yaks had already made such significant progress and fewer ponies still took those that did seriously. Twilight, for her part, just did her best to bury her resentment that the yaks were getting so much attention with their rushed, haphazard attempt to go to space for the purpose of protecting their ego. The race between Equestria and the UMMR was totally different and the yaks had no part in it.

A week after the launch, while slurping down a local griffon shop’s soup of the day, Twilight spat “Space-smashed Cabbage!” across the table when Pinkie told her that the yaks had developed a “fire-stomping powder” that they were going to use next.

Word got out that the UMMR had conducted a test only days after the yaks, probably to keep from appearing too far behind. It would have worked out better for them if the rocket hadn’t exploded on the launchpad. There hadn’t been any injuries, given that the rocket was small and unmanned, save the UMMR’s reputation.

Equestria’s own plans had advanced more steadily, with dedicated facilities for research, development, and launches well under way at Horseshoe Bay. Twilight did respond to the other nations’ activities by announcing that while the Equestria’s space program might not be as exciting yet, the Equestrian Space Administration had plans for a more efficient, easily reusable spacecraft that would give them much more freedom to reach the moon in the long run.

---

It had been only a month since she had last visited, and Yakyakistan continued to surprise Pinkie with its rapid development. The yaks themselves behaved about the same, but Rutherford showed her several new buildings set far enough to be out of sight of Rutherford’s village. They were clearly built to be much sturdier than the cabins and huts that made up the village.

“That place where smart-yaks experiment to make new things like firestomping powder and yak-metal,” Rutherford told her. “Ponies probably not survive in that building. Lots of stomping and explosions.”

As if to prove his point, one of the research building’s sides chose that moment to have a hole blasted in it; several smoking yaks flew out with the rest of the debris.

Unperturbed, Rutherford nodded to a different building. “Other one there place where yaks make parts for rocket. First, yaks take best ore yaks mine from mountains. Then yaks smash ore. Yaks melt ore that survives into metal. Then yak enchanters give yak-magic to metal. This makes metal strong like yak. Smart-yaks still making yak-metal better. Big building there where we take best yak-metal parts to make rocket.”

Pinkie Pie glanced back to see the smart-yaks brushing themselves off and heading back into the research building, then bounced along with him as they made their way towards Mission Control for that day’s launch. Rutherford told her about their work with firestomping powder and how their first attempt exploded on the launchpad.

“Not yak plan for rocket to explode like that. Yaks find rocket bits in nearby valleys. That when I decide we need smart-yaks work on yak-metal too.”

“You know the ponies launched a ‘spaceplane’ last week, and that didn’t work out so well either,” Pinkie said.

Rutherford glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

“The air got too thin before the spaceplane got fast enough so it stalled out and had to land again. Twilight says it was still a good learning experience. So, maybe you could try…” Pinkie paused a moment. “... smaller explosions? But, like, more of them!”

Rutherford snorted. “That nonsense to yak ears. Still, I know better. I already tell yaks to consider new explosions if new metal not work.”

Pinkie cocked her head a bit as she bounced alongside Rutherford. “Huh. I didn’t really expect to hear you say that. ‘Cause, you know—”

“Ponies only think yaks SMASH.” Rutherford nodded, then sighed. “Also some yaks not happy with how I run things now. Some yaks say I go soft and not good leader. That okay with me. Most yaks understand like I that old ways not always solve new problems no matter how important we think old ways are. I take old ways forwards with yaks, not live in old ways only.”

“Well I think you’re doing a great job being a leader and a yak.”

As they left the Research and Development complex behind, Rutherford started to tell her about a griffon that tried to sell them “Space-smashed Cabbage!” and how the yaks who tried it could tell it wasn’t smashed from orbit like he had claimed.

---

Once they had arrived at Mission Control, Rutherford had shown Pinkie around and introduced her to the rest of the team. She noted a lot of similarities between the yaks’ team and the roles within Equestria’s own unfurling space program, though she doubted that Twilight would assign anypony as “Chief Snacks Officer”. It sounded like a good idea to have one, though, so Pinkie decided she’d take on the role when she got back to Equestria.

Rutherford made a point of showing her their improvements to the intercommunication system. Instead of simply using stringed cans, the strings had a special metal in them and Rutherford explained how the cans took words and used special metals and crystals to turn it into a magic pulse that traveled through the special metal strings, and also how it could receive a pulse and turn it back into words.

Rutherford had clearly been excited about how it worked, but Pinkie only understood enough to know that it worked like a can on a string still, only it worked faster and farther.

As the set time for their launch approached, Pinkie pulled out a pair of binoculars to watch the rocket with, against the advice of several nearby yaks. The rocket sat so far away, though, she didn’t see how anypony could tell what was going on otherwise. From where she stood, a rocket that Rutherford had told her was almost as tall as Twilight’s castle looked like it couldn’t have been larger than the tip of an arrow.

“This Chief speaking,” Rutherford said into his can. “All yaks report status.”

Pinkie listened as, one by one, the yak officers reported in ready, from ordnance to snacks, and the space-yak herself.

“Is that the same space-yak?” Pinkie quietly asked.

“Is same yak this time. Not always need to be,” Rutherford replied, holding his can to the side. “Yakyakistan have many yaks train as space-yaks. Most female, because they just as strong and smaller. Smart-yaks say that make rocket go higher.”

Then Rutherford turned back to his can. “All yak ready. Begin countdown.”

Pinkie put up her binoculars. Over the can, she heard the countdown, which started a little higher than she would have liked. “Five” Would have been alright, but “Ten” was agony. She started at the rocket and wondered how something so still and inanimate could perform such an exciting feat as leaving their atmosphere.

“… three… two… one…”

Pinkie Pie’s whole world turned white and she dropped her binoculars as the light stabbed at her eyes.

“Yak rocket have ignition!”

As the yaks around her cheered and stomped their hooves, Pinkie frantically rubbed her eyes and tried to fix them back on the launch. An unreasonably massive fireball had taken the rocket’s place and a fiery smoke trailed the rocket itself, which appeared to be leaving as quickly as a Rainbow Dash confronted with the possibility of filling out weather paperwork all day.

Pinkie didn’t see a sonic rain— flameboom, and the ground explosion didn’t fit the bill; she had thought it happened if you went fast enough, but now she wondered if it was just a pegasus thing.

Then Pinkie caught movement near the ground. The cloud left by the explosion hadn’t expanded too far, but there was a curious wave of dust particles jumping off the ground headed out from the explosion in every direction she could see.

“That doesn’t look too good.”

“Pink Pony no worry. Building strong. That just sound.” Rutherford assured her. “Pink Pony best plug ears. Sound be here soon.” He offered her a set of earplugs and then put in his own pair.

The loudest earthquake Pinkie had ever been in started a brief moment later. She figured any dragon would have been embarrassed to follow that roar, and that comparing the rocket explosions to dragon roars wouldn’t hold up anymore if the yaks kept using bigger explosions.

After it had subsided, mostly, Rutherford started asking various questions of the Mission Control team. He told Pinkie that the rocket had another stage, and it should explode soon, pushing the rocket even more. Sure enough, there was a little pop of color in the distance a moment later, and the officers in the control room cheered. After that, the yaks determined that the rocket was unharmed and on track. Much more than that, they couldn’t say until they retrieved the rocket and its own collection of information.

“Smart-yaks also working on way to talk to space-yak after launch. They say it difficult and yaks might need cooperation of other nations for it to work when rocket in space for long.” Rutherford relaxed his shoulders visibly. “Anyway, yaks on ground not able to do anything more now. We watch rocket fly and wait for it to land.

“Also look like yaks need new place to launch,” he said, after a glance out of the window. “Big cracks in ground and avalanches in distance.”

He shrugged it off and gestured towards the door. “Pink Pony join us for snacks again?”

Pinkie, a little shocked by the last several minutes of commotion, finally reverted to her chipper demeanor. “Oh, absolutely!”

Comments

[Malandy]

Space Yaks are awesome!

[Ri2]

The Changeling Space Program had better watch out.

Should they train Yona for space? She's very small--for a yak--but just as strong.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Yeah, when your species can survive the kinds of breakneck experimentation that would kill lesser sapients, your scientific progress can proceed by leaps and bounds. And explosions. Lots of explosions.

"ore that survives" may be the best yakism that I've ever encountered.

As they left the Research and Development complex behind, Rutherford started to tell her about a griffon that tried to sell them “Space-smashed Cabbage!” and how the yaks who tried it could tell it wasn’t smashed from orbit like he had claimed.

"Cabbage a lie! YAKS DESTROY!"

Having a Chief Snacks Officer just proves that yaks have their priorities straight.

[Halcyon42]

Rutherford made a point of showing her their improvements to the intercommunication system. Instead of simply using stringed cans, the strings had a special metal in them and Rutherford explained how the cans took words and used special metals and crystals to turn it into a magic pulse that traveled through the special metal strings, and also how it could receive a pulse and turn it back into words.

Oh, wow, they really *do* have the best telecoms.

[AlexTFish]

9933740
That was the bit that felt the most off to me. I mean, I understand rapid progress of technology is required for the story we're being told here, but that kind of progress seemed implausible... Until I remembered ponies have telephones already. I'm still not sure the Smart Yaks would be willing to copy technology from other races since Yaks Best At Everything, but possibly the scientifically-minded yak is willing to modulate that slightly?

[SIGAWESOME]

Equestria, UMMR, hell the rest of Equus Gaia better pray long and hard that the Yaks do not discover Project Orion

[PresentPerfect]

In attempting to win the space race, yaks invented the telephone instead. <.< Seems legit.

[Malandy]

Found the song, and wondered where I saw the name before!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ayu0GsrvKQA

Still great story!

[SirNotAppearingInThisFic]

10711623
To be fair, I referenced an xkcd comic. (Text near the bottom and mouse-over text.)

Neat song.

[Bookwurm666]

That place where smart-yaks experiment to make new things like firestomping powder and yak-metal,”

. Smart Yaks isn't that an oximoron?

As if to prove his point, one of the research building’s sides chose that moment to have a hole blasted in it; several smoking yaks flew out with the rest of the debris.

Like I said...

Pinkie Pie glanced back to see the smart-yaks brushing themselves off and heading back into the research building,

oximoron