House of Doors

by Devela

An Average Day

I groaned as I walked into the kitchen, looking around as I noticed an aura around a few floating utensils as they were washing, drying, and putting themselves away. It brought a small smile to my face as I peaked under the table, noticing a certain pony eating a stack of pancakes as she looked up. She had rolled a whole pancake up into a roll, dipped it into a small tub of syrup before eating it.

"Good Morning Trixie. Enjoying some breakfast without me as usual?" I smirked as mt hands reached in to grab her plate and take it away before going back to grab her by the barrel. She was scrambling on the wooden floor with her hooves but found no purchase. "Now none of that, I've told you since I found you there the first time. Eat at the table not under it." I set her in one of the chairs before walking to my fridge and grabbing some orange juice and milk.

"Trixie will have you know she did not start the day doing anything. She sleep walked to make breakfast." Trixie gave before happily going back to enjoying her breakfast as she nibbled at her current roll. I rolled my eyes before setting two glasses of orange juice on the table before snagging a pancake myself before nibbling it myself.

"Well then what are your plans for today? I already hosed down Twilight and Lyra so my day is free. Wanna go somewhere else or just hang around Ponyville for a while?" I sat down across from her as I kept grabbing and enjoying the pancakes.

"Trixie would prefer not to get lost in another realm she does not know. So she wishes to go into Ponyville for lunch and maybe perform there for them." She smirked as she shot off a spark, it weaved through the air before popping into the center of my pancake and exploding out as I bit down on it.

"Gaaaah!!" I fell backwards, groaning as I felt the floor meet the back of my head before looking at my newly minted magical flapping pancake. It hovered in the air for a moment before flying back and landing upon the stack Trixie had.

"That shall teach you to take Trixie's hard cooked food. Now what shall we do today for fun friend?" She smirked as I stood and brushed myself off, picking up the chair to set it by the table. My brows furrowed as I thought for a way to pay the cheeky mare back for that before an evil idea formed in my head.

"Same thing we do every Monday Trixie, take of the world!" I had kept a straight face as I saw the gears turning and shortly come to a screeching halt as Trixie stared at my with wide eyes before flapping her jaw as the gears tried starting to form a coherent response. After a full minute of silence it was broken as I started laughing as she seemed to creak for a moment before falling over on her side. My laughter doubled as I saw this, making me almost miss the knock at my door.

I stumbled through the house as I tried to recover, having left a pancake with a hole in the middle atop Trixie's horn as a warning for next time. My door was glowing softly as the color selector beside it was flashing. It had four main colors, blue, green, red, and black. The blue light flickered as I grabbed the knob and turned to it. Then I grabbed the door handle and opened it up, peaking out as an Amazon driver was standing there with a package for me.

"Oh sweet, I didn't expect you so early." I grabbed the package before signing for it.

"Amazon Expedition service!" He laughed before jogging back to his truck to continue with his day.

I closed the door before turning around and starting down the hall before a knock came from the door again. This time the green light flickering. I groaned aloud before switching the colors and opening the door to reveal a group of ponies who didn't look too pleased.

Standing before me were 'The Elements of Harmony'. Their necklaces on and glowing as they had glares directed towards me. I noticed the streets were clear and several golden armor pieces lay scattered on my lawn as if ripped from their uses in long strips. I eyed the elements before grabbing a carrot from a bowl I kept on my front stand, nibbling the end before leaning on my door frame. "So what's up docs?"

The group of mares just glared at me before Princess Twilight stepped forward. "Richard, you and your evil influence shall be stopped today. For too long have you tormented the ponies of this town and shown contempt for their woes. They have started unlawfully gambling every Monday before your house, allowing colts and fillies to join in. None of the residents have reported you as being their friend, so with a heavy heart as the princess of friendship. I condemn you to a year in stone to contemplate your crimes."

I stood there, nibbling the carrot before raising a brow as I leaned out and eyed Fluttershy, hiding behind the rest of them like always. My eyes looked right into the one of hers I could see before I saw the doubt within it before leaning back as I stepped out of my house. "Okay Twilight, let me list your crimes then."

"I have done no crimes. I have only looked for answers." She rebutted almost immediately.

"Oh well let me tell you, in my world trying break into someone's house when they sleep is a crime. When someone finds you on their property without permission it's a crime. Now please get off my lawn." I looked at them before I saw a flash of yellow and pink from behind them as Fluttershy booked it towards her cottage. My visage loomed over the rest before I crossed my arms and raised a brow.

They group looked to each other and nodded before they started to focus, not even caring what I said before they seemed to glow and rise up into the air before suddenly slamming back down on the ground with a collective groan. I smirked before walking over and flicking Twilight's horn again. "Stop the stupid." I turned and headed back inside before closing the door and grabbing my package before heading back into the kitchen. Trixie had finished the stack of pancakes and was somewhere in the house. I wasn't looking forward to telling her Ponyville was off the menu today.

I set the package down before grabbing a small knife, cutting ti open quickly before looking down at the newest pieces of my collection. I pulled out my latest coffee mugs, one of Venom with his maw open wide, teeth every which direction and one of Joker, a green hahaha leading off to the side. Both of them stood proudly along with the rest of my cups, making a smile cross my face before I headed towards the bathroom to get ready for my day. I knew just where to take Trixie, it wasn't Ponyville but it would still be impressive.

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Well this seems a hoot, I look forward to seeing where this silliness ends up.