Chapter 4: Terror
Crimson Sunset
By Nebula Star
Chapter 4: Terror
***
Celestia stood staring at the place where the transformed Sunset had stood. There was too much magic still in the air to trace her. So Celestia just continued staring at where she’d last seen her student. What had she done?
“Sister…” Luna said softly, having arrived just before Sunset had vanished.
“Oh Sunset…” Celestia closed her eyes against the tears that were even now filling them. Whatever Sunset had done, somehow she knew that it was her fault. She felt Luna step to her side, nuzzling her neck. She appreciated the gesture, but at that moment it only served to remind her of the last time she’d failed somepony she loved.
“Luna… you’ve always been more clever when it comes to magic… see what you can make of this. What was Sunset trying to do?”
Luna looked up at her concerned, but nodded and went over to the worktable where many of Sunset’s notes still lay out in the open. Noticing another sheet discarded on the floor, Luna used her magic to gather it as well.
Meanwhile, Celestia went to the center of the room and simply stared at the spot where Sunset had vanished.
What had driven her student to this? How had she not seen the signs… No. She knew how. So many canceled lessons, some outright forgotten. She’d been seeing her first personal student less and less, ever since Luna’s return. Even this very night, she’d canceled their lessons… if she hadn’t… If only she’d been there for her student… But no, she’d been at a dinner party for foreign dignitaries that hadn’t even had the curtesy to send word ahead of time.
She shook her head. No, one night wouldn’t have caused this. This was something that had been building for some time… something she’d failed to notice… again.
“Father’s stars…”
Celestia looked up at Luna’s exclamation. “Have you found something?” Celestia asked, with little hope in her voice.
Luna looked up at her, then held up a sheet covered with notes and drawings of complex arrays. “Sister… this, this is a spell to turn a regular pony into an alicorn.”
So that was it. Sunset’s old ambition. “What did she do wrong?”
Looking back at the sheets, Luna’s eyes were wide as she shook her head. “Nothing… Celestia, this spell… I’m certain this spell would work!”
Celestia sighed. “Obviously not, sister. You saw as well as I, that was not an alicorn form.”
“Yes, but the fault was not in the spell,” she insisted.
“What do you mean?” Celestia asked looking over at her sister sadly.
“Sister, she used dark magic to power it.”
Bitter realization made Celestia close her eyes. She knew well the price of dark magic.
Luna shook her head. “It would work… but the amount of magic required is far more than anypony alive could ever manage alone. Not even you or I could cast it, not that it would do us any good, and that is if it is cast on one’s self, casting it on another more than triples the cost. Even a full circle of six couldn’t cast it, not even if both of us took part.
“Your student must have realized this, so she sought a way to gather a sufficient pool of mana for one pony to cast it. Unfortunately, her search led her to dark magic,” she sighed. “A dead end of course, even if ponies were to volunteer, to give their magic freely, the extraction would be painful and that pain would corrupt the magic… But clearly, she did not know the risks of such magic. She didn’t know that the magic would corrupt her spell… that it would punish her.”
Celestia lowered her eyes. Hadn’t she warned Sunset about the cost of dark magic? No, she hadn’t had she. She’d simply taught her that it was forbidden except in rare, very controlled circumstances. It never occurred to her that Sunset might not know why dark magic was forbidden. “I should have warned her. I should have… I should have known… known that she was looking into dark magic… Oh light, the proposal she made to the arch-mages; she must have wanted volunteers to gather magic from.” She shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. She collapsed down to her belly. “If only I’d paid closer attention; I could have warned her before she made a mistake. But I’ve neglected her… I wasn’t there when she needed me… I didn’t give her the attention she deserved.” With a whimper, she looked up at her sister, a pleading look in her eyes. “Oh, Luna, why do I always hurt the ones I care for the most?”
Luna quickly set Sunset’s notes aside and wrapped her sister in a comforting embrace. “Do not blame yourself, sister. You have many responsibilities that demand much of your time. It is not your fault…”
“But it is! A thousand years ago I neglected you, and because of that I lost you for a thousand years! And now my neglect has cost me my beloved student as well.”
“You have not lost Sunset!” Luna told her firmly, stepping back and forcing Celestia to look into her eyes. “The magic will have altered her form, but you saw the look she gave us before she vanished. That was not the look of the madness that took me. That was fear in her eyes. She knew what she had done was wrong. She was frightened, and in pain. She ran because she couldn’t bear to face you in her guilt. But she is both alive and sane! You need only find her and you can set things right!”
Celestia looked into her younger sister’s crystal blue eyes and took heart. “You’re right… Sunset isn’t lost to me… not yet.”
Luna nodded firmly. “Her crimes thus far have been relatively minor. You can yet be lenient. We need only find her before she goes too far.”
“Yes.” Celestia agreed, but then sagged once more. “Unfortunately, I haven’t a clue where to start.”
“We start, by regrouping with the guard, and gathering all information we can.” Luna provided, then turned back to Sunset’s notes. “As for this… it would be best if we keep this safe, lest another make the same mistake.” With a flick of her horn, she gathered all the notes and rolled them up into one roll, tucking it under her wing.
“Indeed. The temptation of becoming an alicorn would likely lead a great number of ponies into the trap of dark magic.” Celestia agreed, sadly, but then slowly smiled as she looked up at Luna. “But if we were to find a way to power the spell safely…”
“It could very well usher in a new age for Equestria,” Luna said solemnly.
Celestia nodded. “And should that happen, I will make sure that Sunset receives the credit she deserves.”
~~~
There were several streams running down the cliffs into Canterlot. Most of the largest, of course, formed beautiful waterfalls as they fed into the main channels flowing through the city before pouring over the side into the valley below. But a few of the smaller streams were far enough from the main channels and small enough, that they instead poured down through a grate along the cliffside into what was in appearance, a sewer. One that simply carried the run-off of these small streams along the cliffs to connect with one of the main channels. These tunnels weren’t connected to the main sewer network in Canterlot, and had few maintenance entrances. It was there, behind the downpour of one of the streams, in the cold, damp tunnel that Sunset sat in the darkness, her wings wrapped around her body against the chill.
Her body trembled as she sat. Not from the cold, but from the soft sobs that wracked her frame. The pain had faded shortly after the transformation had been complete, now her pain was entirely emotional. The guilt of what she’d done, the shame of her failure. What had she done wrong? She’d gone over the spell again and again, checked every detail, run the calculations hundreds of times.
With a sniff she folded her wings and stood, walking over to the edge of the pool fed by the stream pouring in from above. Looking down, she could just make out her reflection in the rippling water. Her longer curved and sharpened horn, and fangs were the most obvious of her changes. Looking closer, however she could see her coat had become longer, her snout a little sharper and her colors faded slightly. As for the rest of her body, she was definitely taller. She had been about average for a unicorn, now she likely matched the newly returned Princess Luna or even Princess Cadence. And her wings…
A tear fell from her eye as she stretched out the two large, bat-like wings. Far larger than the average pegasus, they were far from the elegant feathered wings she’d had only a glimpse of before the spell had turned horribly wrong. Those had been wings to inspire admiration, respect; these… these were the wings of a monster. Even the outcast nocturnes’ wings weren’t nearly as intimidating being not much larger than a pegasus’ wings.
Why had her spell done this to her? Where had she gone wrong? That everything seemed functional was little comfort. She closed her eyes, refolding her wings as more tears fell to the water below.
She was getting thirsty.
The mountain streams pouring into Canterlot were known for their purity, so she didn’t hesitate to reach down to the pool and take a drink of the cool clear water. After a few moments, she straitened again, frowning. She still felt thirsty… but not for water.
What else would she be thirsty for?
Taking a deep breath, she tried to put it out of mind. She had more important things to worry about now. She knew she should turn herself in. Now that her anger had faded she knew that she deserved to be thrown in the dungeon. She could handle that; she deserved it. But she didn’t think she could face Celestia after what she’d done. Something that would be unavoidable if she did turn herself in.
They’d be searching for her by now; Celestia had seen her after all; and she knew enough of the guard’s methods to know that these drainways would be searched. The trick would be to keep moving until she could slip into an area they’d already searched.
Following the outflow, she made her way down the tunnel to where it connected to one of the main channels, passing under a small bridge for the lower walkway that ran all along the river. There she paused, still in the shadows of the tunnel’s entrance, and listened. There were two ponies nearby, walking along the path, but no sign of any guards.
The two ponies were coming her way, however. Two young mares, likely her own age. Unsure how they would react to her appearance, she slipped back further into the tunnel where the shadows would hide her while the two passed.
There voices became clearer as they drew near, not that what they were talking about mattered to Sunset. They were merely speaking about how much more beautiful the stars looked ever since Princess Luna’s return. Sunset had heard as much before, though she hadn’t taken the time to see for herself. Perhaps she would ask for a dungeon cell with a window so she could see the night princess’ work…
The mares reached the bridge at the entrance of the tunnel and started across, not even sparing a glance in Sunset’s direction.
Then she caught their scent.
The thirst she’d felt before came roaring back, clawing at her insides as her mind registered one thing about their scent: they smelled good.
Eyes widening, she hurriedly backed away, even as the thirst began clawing at her mind. Why did ponies smell good!?
Sunset stumbled in her haste, her hooves clattering loudly in her efforts to recover, but ultimately falling anyway.
“Is someone there?” One of the mares called out sounding nervous as she and her friend paused on the bridge.
Sunset couldn’t respond. The thirst was overwhelming. It clawed at her mind. Her mouth opened almost on its own as her body screamed at her that she needed what she could smell from the ponies. She tried to fight it. Tried to maintain control. But it was in vain, everything went black.
The hot metallic taste filling her mouth was the first thing Sunset became aware of as conscious thought slowly returned. It tasted good. Really good. Then she realized she could also feel fur in her mouth, and something solid, something that twitched.
Her eyes opened. Opened to a nightmare.
One of the mares was lying nearby, unconscious or worse. Two small puncture wounds in her neck still dripping with blood that marred her coat around her throat. And the other mare…
The other mare was under Sunset, held pinned with her throat in Sunset’s mouth, blood pouring down her throat from the punctures her fangs had made. She wasn’t moving either.
Eyes wide, Sunset let go of the mare’s neck and leaped back. Blood continued to flow from the mare’s neck, staining her coat and creating a small pool on the cobblestone path; every beat of her heart adding more to the gruesome scene. In horror, Sunset looked back and forth between the two mares. She could still taste the blood on her tongue, feel it coating her muzzle, staining her fur; and in that moment, she realized one terrible fact: She wasn’t thirsty anymore. Throwing her head back, she screamed.
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Well. Shit.
*Slow clap* Well… better late than never, eh Sunbutt Sr?
As for Sunset, I was afraid that would happen from the way to described her last chapter. Hopefully she's still got enough wherewithal to stop the two ponies she attacked from bleeding to death.
Cool
And then Sunset's "arch nemesis" Twilight and some baby named Flurry Heart successfully become Alicorns and Sunset's mind completely breaks.
knew it
I’m glad someone shares my opinions on the use of the word ‘thestral’ in mlp fics. Though, I’ll admit my feelings are much less reasonable; I hate Harry Potter as a franchise, so I in turn rather dislike references to it. Also, I usually prefer use of the ‘hippo-‘ prefix... because horses, but whatever float your metaphor. Maybe something like hipponycht... I don’t know Greek, sorry.
9957458
At least Twilight’s transformation makes sense in this world.
Let's hope her responsibility and kindness win over her fear and denial so she can take those two to a hospital before it's too late - this isn't tagged as tragedy after all.
I just hope Luna can help her without making her lose her life's work. That would break Sunset in an untenable way
9957458
Nah, this Sunset seems to be sane enough to realize they'd have no guilt or true agency over their new state.
It would make her rather more pissed at Celesta and the archmages, with reason.
Interesting points regarding the thestrals/bat ponies/notcturnes.
Also, loving this story so far.
Mmm, interesting take on an alternate path for Sunset.
I'll be keeping an eye on this.
One small error I found.
curtsey -> courtesy
Loving this story so far. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Wow! This is a pretty brutal way to punish Sunset for stealing magic: turning her into a vampire.
She went on a rampage, assaulting over one-hundred ponies, and draining their magic. Further, she tortured Runic Scribe.
A parking violation is minor crime. Sunny's one of the worst criminals in Canterlot.
10033005
That's why Luna is saying she can be lenient, she's not saying Celestia should let her off all together. She's also comparing Sunset's crimes to her own which are pretty severe in this universe. There's a reason Luna knows so well about dark magic's punishments.
Nocturne is a good name. I never understood why Thestral was such a popular term here, considering the original thestrals and bat ponies are barely anything alike. Though simply "bat pony" is the best one, I think, considering it's very simple and mirrors the simplicity of "earth pony"; it just seems to fit the show.
Anyway, I love the story so far. Keep going
eh, dropping this. I see absolutely no need of dragging this idea of a 'vampire' into this. At most some kind of parasitic creature that feeds of the magic, to keep the spell stable, or some kind of emotional drain on the 'sense of harmony' of a pony to keep the. dark magic in check.
A vampire is just a step too far. I thought the story would be original, but vampires are just too cliché.