• Published 20th Nov 2019
  • 597 Views, 66 Comments

Unpleasant Correspondence 2 - StormLuna

Everything has come full circle and now it is Twilight who sends her protege to Ponyville. Needless to say, Luster isn't one bit happy about it.

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That Crappy Love Holiday

Dear Twibitch,

Well that shitty holiday where ponies waste their money on greeting cards, flowers and chocolate has arrived again. Yep, Hearts and Hooves Day is here and ugh, everypony is being all sappy and shit. Some of my acquaintances got into it. Diamond Bitch and Silver Slut were sucking face and groping one another right out in the middle of town. Can you believe that, they're almost as bad as you and your sister. The only reason I say almost is because at least they aren't sisters.

Moving on, Sweetie Bitch was crying and whining about not having a special somepony today. Now I would be her special somepony but she whines too much, just like her sorry ass sister. Speaking of her, I saw her and Fluttershy coming into town and ugh, there they were kissing gently and then they got a room at the local inn. I honestly hate to think what they're going to do but oh well, at least they're not going to go grinding out in the middle of town like you and Starbitch would.

Now for two of my other acquaintances, they were actually being semi-intelligent and not being all sappy and shit. Apple Bitch was apple bucking and the genetic defect that can't fly took a box of chocolates to Starbitch's little angel and begged her to cast a wing enlargement spell on her. Apparently Bright Beam is a softy because she managed to cast a temporary wing growth spell on her and get this, she was actually flying for about an hour but very quickly her wings returned to stumps and she crashed back down to earth. Oh well, I guess that loser got a little bit of time in the air. I am sure though that little miss perfect will study harder or Scootaloo will come up there and beg Starlight to give her permanent wings she can fly with since you obviously lack the brains to.

Now I am mad at Bunny Girl, I got some flowers and took them over to her. I gave her some seductive looks and asked her if we could be marefriends. I think she was actually considering it until I grabbed her flank. She then knocked me to the ground and started stomping me. The nerve of that bitch. Here I thought I was going to get a special friend and some action but oh hell no, she just had to shoot me down. What a stupid little bitch, she has no idea what she is missing.

Well in the end I went to the spa and Aloe and Lotus gave me their loving touch. They shut down shop, we went to the steam room and they gave me all the loving I could ever imagine. They let me give them horn sex, they sucked on my horn, we kissed passionately and they taught me something special, they called it "69" or something like that and oh my goodness, they taste so good! We talked and they have decided they will shut down shop on Sundays and devote every waking moment to me and me alone. Oh those two are so wonderful, they are the only friends I have and if that is how it winds up being, it is alright by me! Now I must get going, I have a date at the spa planned and the girls hate tardiness as much as you do.

Getting Love from the Spa Twins,

Luster "Getting Laid" Dawn

Dear Lusting Skank,

You know, I don't get why you are so upset about the rich bitches sucking face in public. Hell they did that behind the schoolhouse every day when they were fillies and from what I understand, they did unspeakable things in Silver's bedroom when they were younger. Now that doesn't surprise me about Flutterskank and Raribitch. I'm guessing though that they probably came into town and did that so you'd see it and report it to me. They probably figured I'd be jealous when I heard about it but I'm not. Hey, I have my sexy sister and we have already done all sorts of things that only the closest of sisters do and after I finish writing you, Starlight and I are going to try this abuse thing on one another that Colgate and Twinkleshine once told me about. You know, if you're interested, I'd gladly let you join us. We could crack out the whip, break out the paddle, heat up the chocolate and have all sorts of fun!

Yeah Bright Beam is a true gem isn't she, being so generous to help Scootaloo out like that. Now I know her birthday is coming up BUT I know for a fact that Starlight will not give her permanently big wings because of the shit she pulled so long ago. Starlight loves me and would never aid that little bitch for the libelous shit she printed in the school newspaper so long ago. Bright Beam may study enough to give her permanently big wings but Starlight sure the hell won't give them to her nor will I.

Now I would love to know how you got the spa twins to do all of that for you. I constantly begged Aloe and Lotus for the "69" thing but they'd never do it! Yes they shut down shop for me for months at a time but still, they never did anything like that. They said something about consuming body fluids was going too far or some shit like that. Now I will say this, you can not just go spend every single Sunday with those slutty spa twins, you will have to try to befriend those acquaintances of yours. Hell maybe you can take the rich sluts with you to the spa and all of you can have a five way.

Now I must get going, Starlight and I have special plans for right now. Starlight and I have a cake being delivered to us and eating it and then snacking on Starlight will be much better than continuing to waste my time writing to you.

Getting Ready to Eat My Sister,

Goddess-Queen Twilight "Your Superior" Sparkle

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