Time to falter, time to fail
The dragon is staring at me. Wordlessly. Without screaming...
Yet I know he wants to scream: I am nothing he’s ever seen before!
…Seen me… I’ve been noticed! Discovered! So foolishly!..
…No. I know, what to do – I am a spy, no, the Spy! I must stun him! My stunning, memory-erasing eye flash! He shan’t remember having seen me!..
Bye for good, Spike the dragon! You have now Twilight Sparkle to take care of you.
…Farewell, Twilight Sparkle. You…
You’ve done… I can’t say you’ve done much… Not a lot… I hoped to learn my way to Canterlot…
Darn it, Canterlot!..
Starting from square one, I guess… Where am I currently?
Before I’ve taken out my map, Spike attempts to make a noise… What is it, Spike the dragon? Did I not tell you: “Good bye”?..
…I… realise I’ve not yet flashed my eyes… I am not moving. The dragon is still staring at me… and it cannot be any good!..
What is wrong with me?!.. Why haven’t I moved an inch??..
Spike struggles for words again…
Enough. That is quite enough, I say! How much time’s passed?
Here comes the flash… Start the clock.
Spike the dragon… Forget everything you’ve seen. You’ve seen nothing.
And also forget this very moment, Spike. There is nothing for you to remember.
Forget… And… forgive… I’ll leave you now… But you won’t remember. I have never hung around you or your friends…
Good bye, everyone. I’m leaving…
The cloaking wristlet is back on my foreleg. The two of us back together again!.. Spying awaits us afore!.. And now – to disappear…
…Twilight Sparkle. Haven’t noticed you are here. Left where I released her, she comes to her senses, moaning…
Start the clock!..
No sooner do I do that, than… a guard comes in unannounced!
…Right into my flash!..
…
Oh darn!.. There are still guards combing us out!..
But I am not here! I am invisible! And, once you wake up, you shan’t remember anything! There wasn’t me…
…But there was… Twilight Sparkle… And… Spike.
Nobody… really cares about them. But…
Yeah, but what'll happen? I’m curious… As everyone think clearly again… Chase will start. Or, maybe, they’ll be detained on spot… And then?..
The clock is ticking. I have yet time to think. Maybe, I…
H-huh… My plan… What is my plan?!.. To get myself off the hook – done!.. To get rid of my disguise… and of my friends – done! To reach Canterlot, to find government and to steal the spell – to do! And that’s it. It doesn’t say “Take care of someone dear”! Does it??! No, it does not!.. So no. I’m leaving them all behind!
So what, if?.. It’s their problem now! Not mine! And even though…
Wait… This is a fresh start, is it not?! I can!.. forget about whatever has happened! About my… my struggles and setbacks!
Yeah, this is it! He is military. He’s got to work for the government! He can get me in! Closer to the spell…
And, whatever should happen to Twilight Sparkle? For the “crime” she “committed”? Not my concern. Not any more, Twilight Sparkle, you hear!
Before the soldier can come to his senses and raise an alarm, I, first and foremost… extend my cloaking… I… hide Twilight Sparkle and Spike from sight.
Why? Because it is a part of my plan… It’s not… because I… decide to… to side with them… To help them… To…
No. Alarm must not be raised. And for that neither of them must be discovered.
I drag the pony and the dragon near the street wall, before the clock has stopped. In this side alleyway an unobtrusive shop hides, I see. Huh, mannequins? Good! I station Twilight Sparkle to stand as if inside the showcase alongside them. The dragon I seat on her back.
Please, understand, that it is in your best interest not to move! Otherwise I’m doomed… Doomed!..
The clock stops. Spike stirs on Twilight Sparkle’s back… Who almost tumbles down, awake… Careful…
The guard blinks. He watches intently. He scans the alleyway with a spell…
Of course. A word must have spread, that the escaped dragon rode an invisible someone… The invisible must be discovered! So of course he has a spell just for that. Of course…
My invisibility is of no help here, so I take it with myself and tiptoe ever so carefully away from the two…
It is dark in this alleyway. Even uncloaked, they should fool the guard as long, as they don’t move!
Because he is sure to be distracted by me…
He notices something. That’s my cue:
“Ugh! – I gasp, turning around. – Who?!.. Who’s there???”
The guard pierces me with his eyes:
“Halt!”
Twilight Sparkle can compose herself enough not to reveal herself. She wishes to be invisible. A bit late… Spike can still barely move. With her wing the princess signals him to be careful. Groggy, he catches on… Good boy!..
“You’ve got the wrong pony!” – I gasp meanwhile.
“Move not a muscle!” – he barks.
Darn. Alarm is most undesired!
“There is nothing to see!..” – I fuss.
“Indeed there is not!” – he grumbles.
Before he can proceed with “Show yourself!”, I decloak, looking scared.
A fool, am I not? Now he sees me! He sees me… and it is not me he sees. But another guy… I’ve told my invisibility is of no help here. I had to prepare… and I did: I took a disguise… and applied it!
The guard relaxes. I should know. I am not Twilight Sparkle. Not the dragon. Someone else entirely. So, please, I transmit. Be calm. Collected… And quiet…
He marches toward me. Stops. Inspects me closely…
“Hold still”.
He searches me.
Nothing here. Good.
“What were you doing?” – he demands.
What was I doing?
“Hiding”, – my voice trembles.
“Why?!”
“E… everyone was in panic!.. So… so many guards out of nowhere!.. What’s hap?..”
“How do you know an invisibility spell?!”
Even though clearly faulty of something, I still look up. My eyes radiate meekness.
“Oh. Well… I guess, it’s because…”
Start the clock!
I’ve stunned him. But… instead of going limp he, with a blank look, charges his horn!..
What’s gone wrong??! It hasn’t worked!!.. It’s…
My “backstabber”… His horn…
Whatever will strike first?
I think, I lost my consciousness, because the next thing I saw was… an unfamiliar elderly mare. And she was looking directly at me… and was about to shriek…
Nope. No, you don’t! I don’t think I was thinking at that moment: my burst of a stunning flash came out involuntarily. I think, she was stunned… down to the bone.
It gave me time. I saw I was indoors. How?..
…Twilight Sparkle. As I turned, she was standing behind me, Spike still riding her.
The lady was, apparently, staring at the three of us… What… What were we doing??.. Where were we???
From the window (which turned out to be a showcase) guards could be seen – all kinds: unicorns, pegasi… All stunned! My stunning flash must have been a very powerful one, if it’d affected even them outside. Which, again, could not be good!
We were inside the shop, it appeared, whose showcase had helped us so very conveniently. I have no idea, how we’d ended up in there… I think, I did lose my consciousness… Yes…
I was outside… I was hiding from everyone… But…
What was it? I know not. Something happened… I… must have lost my mind! I ripped my cloaking wristlet off!.. I cloaked out! I lost my disguise!
I… set Twilight Sparkle free… Because…
Yes. I did something I should not have. I realised that, before anything grave happened. I saved myself. I flashed my eyes – and nobody would remember me revealing myself! And that was when the guard appeared. Another inconvenience – but I knew it was my opportunity… To start afresh… To achieve my goal – and to leave this country… for good, my hope was.
Well… Something went wrong. The guard could detect me – so my invisibility was of no help… But I was ready. I’d prepared myself! I had a disguise! It fooled him – even if I only remembered, how it looked. Nothing to fool the ear… the skin… the nose! For I’d never contained him in my wristlet. I stumbled upon him… but what good was he for me?
Twilight Sparkle… And Spike… Seeing one of their friends nearby… No. That was not to happen. At any cost! They had to hide! If they’d been discovered… Then – who knows, what Twilight Sparkle would have attempted in her panic? I don’t. But she stayed in one place, and so did Spike… The guard was focused on me and didn’t notice them. He detected me – just as planned. I attracted his attention – just as planned. He halted me, and I showed myself…
He was relaxed – I felt it. I was no Twilight Sparkle he had to be after. No dragon… No need to panic. No need to raise alarm… It was going to be perfect. All I had to do… was to stun him. Probably along with Twilight Sparkle… and Spike. If not, they should have been too afraid to move a muscle. With the guard stunned I could replace him. I could become him – and start anew! I would pass by Twilight Sparkle and pretend I’d not noticed her. Relieved, she’d… Probably she’d continue her hiding. Thanks to my wristlet, she had to believe she’d committed a capture of an impostor’s mind. Belonging to someone impersonating her… Which would have been commendable, had Her Lunar Majesty not overreacted…
But she did. She started an investigation, a lawsuit – and Twilight Sparkle escaped!.. So what was she to do, once I, in my new disguise, left her?
In all honesty, why should I care?! Why??! Is… She… NO, she’s not my… befriender! She’s never befriended me! I… I cannot be attached!..
…My… apologies… My… “friends”… must have… severely affected me! I have no idea, what’s happened to me, but… What do I do now??..
Whatever happened then… It ruined my plan. I felt so confident I could stun that guard. But, even though I did… Despite that he still managed to…
Yes. I wanted to “backstab” him, leaving him vulnerable – and ready to be stored inside the wristlet…
But his horn… It was charged. I don’t know, how he could do it, – but, even in his stunned state, he did something to me! He…
Whatever he did, I must have lost my consciousness. I have no idea, what transpired then… No idea… I… ended up here, inside the shop… I don’t think I… walked in here all by myself…
The guard? No, he was interrogating me, anyway. That couldn’t be him… If he had waked up, I wouldn’t have been here. He must have not. And if he was stunned… And I was stunned…
…It could have been… anyone… But, whoever that had been, he’d brought me in here… I’d been relocated… This old lady… had probably not. Who is she, in any case?..
Whoever that was, it couldn’t be her: she wanted to scream, when I came to. She must have been the shop’s owner… Hum-m-m…
Then… After my slipping into unconsciousness I was relocated… Twilight Sparkle and the dragon… were relocated too… I don’t think there was… anyone… But, if I’d been out…
Then I must be excluding someone… I know it couldn’t be the guard! Did he really come to?.. And then… bring me here? Along with those two? They would have surely been off: they were chased…
…Oh, yeah… I’ll have to exclude the guard… But… It appears… There is no excluding… the troublesome duo… After all, my stunning flash did stun the guard… But did it really affect the two? Because… if it did not… Then – unless I am missing something – it was them!.. who saw me unconscious! Who decided!.. to… stick with… me… And… who…
Did they really?? But… “Let us help this unknown dude: he’s trouble with the guard…” Was that what they were thinking???
“Unknown dude”…
“Unknown”… But he was not!
Had I really time to choose my disguise? He wasn’t their friend, so he should have sufficed! But – remembering Twilight Sparkle being my guide – didn’t he meet her? And, if I am the one to explain the principles of my wristlet’s work… did Twilight Sparkle lose her memory?? I am positive she shan’t remember anything – but! If she were suspected to have been me! What would she confess in? Whatever she did, it was normal. Yes, I was close to failing, but how weird was that??!
Most importantly, if she were to be asked: “Do you know Roach Coach?” – what would she answer? “Yes… I think… Yeah, I met him at the party. We chatted, then we shook hooves… And he…” Did nothing suspicious, Twilight Sparkle… except for attempting to blow my cover… But I hinted at his being someone else entirely…
Which is, why Twilight Sparkle had to remember him! She could have forgotten, chalked it up to something being wrong with her… but no.
Even so… If my plan had succeeded… If I had successfully “backstabbed” the guard… Then Twilight Sparkle’s knowledge couldn’t have hurt me: we could have parted ways; we could have joined forces – us being outlaws…
But instead? Yeah…
She saw me unconscious. And – whatever was going on in that mare’s mind – she decided to bring me inside.
She saved me.
The lady has been turned to face in another direction. She shan’t remember seeing us… Ugh…
The… th-three of us… are… standing together… huddled… Because I thought it wise to huddle them both: thanks to my stunning flash they’ve forgotten a few time slices of the past.
The lady comes to, as well as… them… She, mumbling something – probably about those rascals causing such a ruckus so late after the sunset! – waddles toward the exit.
We stand, unmoving. Not a muscle twitches. Except for the dragon’s nose: he’s chosen this moment to clear his nostrils as surreptitiously, as he can! I think he’s failing…
The lady is out. Her voice pierces the night. Gruff voices of the guards answer her.
But louder, than anything else… Twilight Sparkle gulps.
Her whisper is deafening too:
“The guard. He was talking about some ‘invisibility spell’ you used. We must hide!”
So… Here we are…
Of course the guard detected the invisible me… He had to ask!.. “How do you know an invisibility spell?!” I should think, it’s because… I have my trusty cloaking wristlet on my side!..
And Twilight Sparkle heard him. And she didn’t forget, when I stunned the guard! The flash didn’t affect her!
What did she think??! She heard that… The guard was stunned – and I lost my consciousness… Before he could think clearly again, she… Sh-she…
…Sh-she hid us all… Together. She couldn’t know for sure… but we were safe… till that lady came. But her memories are blurred. Inc… inconsistencies??!.. I didn’t think, when I flashed! What does she remember??!
The spell. She thinks I used the spell. And I was a no one – right till she saw me! She recognised that disguise!..
“Roach…”
Yes, it’s me!.. I am the guy she saw at the party – and I… The guy… Said things!.. I – the guy – insinuated!.. that Twilight Sparkle… She was… What was it he was saying to me?!
“Please, Roach, we’ve gotta hurry!.. Before they search everything!..”
Twilight Sparkle. Please, stop shaking me. I know no spell… but I do have a tool you must not discover anything about… So… no. I know nothing that can help you.
But I know: as long, as I can point you to a safe spot… I can leave. Finally. Finally!..
…Finally the dragon sneezes.
The noise – and the fire – are loud and bright! We are basked in the fire’s light – and in it we see the soldiers outside, all freezing, stopping whatever they were busy doing and snapping their heads to inspect the source of the commotion.
Twilight Sparkle winces. The dragon on her back, eyes still squeezed shut, has yet to realise, that he’s DOOMED US!..
Spike! You doofus!..
Twilight Sparkle! Couldn’t you run away, when you had that opportunity?! You didn’t!.. have to…
No more fear… No more, I say! NO!
So what, if I leave an impression?! What, if I leave a memory after myself?! This has gone far! Too far!! Far too far!!!
Ahem. Twilight Sparkle… I hope, you see in my eyes what I am thinking. The fire is no more. Twilight Sparkle’s eyes are dark and unreflective again. I think… I think I saw myself in them… My stare – hard… fixed… resolute… determined… Or am I imagining that? Still I do hope you… You won’t… j… judge… me…
Judge me? She may judge me every way, any time she likes! I am… Am I? I thought I was… No more?.. What is happening?! She means nothing!..
I collect myself. Whatever is happening – I can deal with anything! Remind me… Am I not the Spy? The one most suited to infiltrate, to get intelligence, leaving not a mark – am I not? Tell me: what must a spy do?
…In all honesty, this is my time to bolt. There are many ways a spy escapes – but in this one?
Time has passed since the sneeze, and the pony before me starts to panic. The panic enters her from every direction. She moves, but that changes nothing: panic spreads like ink in water, bringing coldness… Hum, yes, coldness… iciness… Even one unable to perceive emotions at all, blind even to the most obvious signs… can hear Twilight Sparkle’s heart. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Everything inside her is shrunk. The princess stops thinking clearly – no, not yet, there’s still thinking inside her somewhere. Twilight Sparkle…
Tell me, Twilight Sparkle…
Do you think you are my friend? We’ve hardly known each other, so that is unlikely. But do you think I – the guy you think you know as Roach Coach – am responsible for you? Do you think I should get you out of this trouble? Do you think?..
Do you really, Twilight?..
We have stood here for long enough. It is time to act. Now! If… we… m-must hide… Then hide… w… we… I am going to hide. Don’t know about you, b-but… I am!
“Upstairs”, – is the only thing I say.
It leaves me… It finds its way to leave, finds a way to be emitted; it becomes a sound… And it leaves. It is free to be heard… To be accepted and understood… By anyone… And it does find a soul, who gives more than a hoot about it. It finds Twilight Sparkle… And Twilight Sparkle…
Whoa! I don’t even succeed in blinking once – Twilight Sparkle grips my shoulders! In a blink we teleport… I assume, upstairs… Before anypony can enter the shop and catch us red-hoofed.
I blink. We’ve moved. It’s another place. It is a bedroom. That lady must have been sleeping, when… When, yes, Twilight Sparkle… saved us all…
She saved us. She saved herself by disappearing, when more soldiers came. She saved her dragon, who… held… yes, a very special place in her heart… That was what Twilight said she did – in his… And she… saved me… when I couldn’t save myself…
And that was when the lady woke up. She would have caught us wandering into her shop… But I reacted faster.
Had it not been for the dragon, I think I’d have managed. He sneezed – so now we are here…
A pony sits up in the bed, staring into the darkness groggily. “Honey?” – he acknowledges whoever has appeared in this room…
Sun as my witness… What is he doing in here??!
The shop’s owner, probably. A married couple. A crib is housing a baby right over there by that wall…
In the name of!!!..
Twilight Sparkle… is melting. She cannot take it any more. And, I can see, neither can Spike…
A pair of despicable nincompoops! You can’t even save yourself!.. This is all your fault!
But now… Now!.. I am reclaiming control!..
Now… I can get… get us… o-out of this s-situation… And I know, what to do. But… I am… the Spy, no?.. I… think like a spy… I am like a spy – I am the Spy!..
Stun the shop’s owner. Leave. Easy. The nincompoops – be they darned thrice! – will be affected. Unclean job. Hum…
Hum-m-m… Reclaiming control…
Before Twilight… did anything… I… Ugh… No. Despite everything… Control… MUST be regained!..
Grab the pony’s shoulders…
Lock eyes…
“Trust me”.
Flash…
Spike! Look… Trust me… Flash.
“Backstab” Spike…
Take the wristlet off, while holding on to my disguise…
Snap. Contain…
Twilight Sparkle… Take a backstab, Twilight Sparkle.
Snap. Contain…
Turn around. The shop’s owner is screaming – his voice is leaving!
Start the clock!
The path was clear. The roads were open! And I was set free!..
I re-united with my wristlet. Good bye, everyone! No one could see me – the baby was asleep, and even if it hadn’t been – there would have been no escaping my eye flash!
I went invisible. From down below sounds were heard – bad sounds, foreboding nothing pleasant! Fine soldiers from everywhere seemed to be gathered in that little shop on the unlit and narrow alleyway! No one could have escaped…
But I wasn’t someone. I was the Spy – I am the Spy!
The soldiers would be upstairs any second then, arresting anything that moved!
But not me! That was the closest they’d get!
I chose another disguise – that time of someone tiny… Yep: the walk would have to be walked, the talk – talked, and the ’roach – coached.
And “Roach Coach” – roached. Hee-hee!
I am a cockroach now. Not invisible – no, I’m not risking that! – but disguised as the most uninteresting thing! Who’d suspect a ’roach? These are not the country’s borders. An escaped magician is a magician – but not a shapeshifter! But just in case of otherwise… I am prepared.
So far so good: the soldiers have searched everywhere – and found no one! Even if they spotted me – would they attempt and scan me?
Search all you want. The Spy is not here.
And neither is Twilight Sparkle. Nor Spike.
Safe. Stored inside my cloaking wristlet… I’ve done it again. I’ve contained them!.. And it would appear… that I have come no further from where I was, have I?
Well. I think… Hum-m-m… I can leave now. Escape from the city. Find someplace safe… And release the two…
And then? “Roach Coach” will be off. Yes, he was at that party – and left an impression, no kidding! – but he was… saved… by Twilight Sparkle… And after that… After that he did… something mysterious. Time will pass – and the next thing Twilight Sparkle will see… What will she? This must be prepared carefully! She saw me and remembered! If I have disappeared from her sight suddenly, there’ll be no explaining it afterwards! And if she can’t explain it to herself… Then it’s better not to tamper with her memories.
But then how do I get rid of them both??
Light shines upon me: someone’s found me, an unassuming cockroach…
“A-a-ah!”
Oops. Am I too big?..
I hurry to escape.
“What in the name of hecks?!!”
Yep. Bye-bye, ponies!
Down the drain! Into the sewers!
There appears to be no place I could leave the two…
It is in the sewers, that I’ve found shelter… How I have fallen! But the two… No.
Even this place is creeping with soldiers! They are so everywhere they don’t need a “where”! But that’s OK: because I appear to be a rat. This is my home… I am nothing suspicious.
But I am not intent on spending the rest of my days here! I will not! They can’t search forever, they’ll tire, and, once they do!..
The Spy will be free!
The Spy will be… And… What about… Twilight Sparkle?
I… honestly cannot help myself thinking. Are we stuck now??? Together??? Am I forever to carry these two?.. in my wristlet??.. Must I really? Must I? There is nothing holding me! I can… I can! Are they my concern???..
…It would appear so. I must deal with them… No matter, how hard I try!.. to leave them!.. They always come back! They demand to be “baby-sat”! No less!.. But I won’t!
And if I don’t… then… Ugh. This is no place to do so!
She saved me! And she, no doubt, will save me again, if need be!
And after I release her? Huh??! How can I convince her to stop… pestering me?! For I am the Spy… and I must be whomever I appear to be.
…They must be left – but only after I be safe!
It is good… unbelievably good!.. That they are not connected to me any more! No emotions…
By the way… What have I experienced? I have known myself. I am not subject to feeling unconditionally. So what happened? Why was I?.. all of a sudden… overcome with emotions??? What’s happened to my core??!
Assessment shows, it is impenetrable. But then what?.. What is going on??
I-I think… I may need… t-to stop to… think… To monitor… Is this all supposed to happen? Unravel this I… must!..
I have seen so many faces. Roach Coach, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle… her four friends… I admit: The Pink One will be remembered… fondly! The joy I felt!.. But she was impossible. She was beyond comprehension… And Roach Coach? He was no less, than an enemy! No remembering him fondly, n-n-nope!
But still… Fluttershy… She was The Kind One. Roach Coach should have been dead. But Fluttershy!.. The way she values life is inconceivable! How can someone be that kind?!..
Applejack… Rainbow Dash… and Rarity… No. I don’t think remembering them shifts anything in my core. Although… Rainbow Dash’s laughter!.. Ah… But am I attached?! Hardly.
Then there’s Spike… Him!.. I saved him, and I have no idea why!.. It is scary, I admit, to think of him. But I’ll try… I’ll invoke the memory… Spike the dragon. Do I feel… attached at all?..
Is he dear to me somehow? Despite my controlling my emotions?! I wonder…
With Spike around? Spying is a burden. Without him, however… It becomes easy. And, the more distant he is… The more forgettable he gets. That’s a good sign! He should… mean nothing to me… though… I am not sure he does…
Poor, lonely Spike. Discovered by the guards… Any responses? I should think, not, but… I am not sure… I think, something is broken in me…
Because… Ugh!.. You… Twilight Sparkle!.. You! I’ve been with you the longest! With you I’ve experienced!.. the most interesting day of my life! I’ve felt… I’ve molten down!.. And you! You misbehaved! You couldn’t have – no possibility! But you did!.. My wristlet has always been a wonder!.. But you? You defied it!
Did she really?.. No… She couldn’t… It was all a malfunction – or was it… something else entirely?..
Maybe, it wasn’t. But. I released her. There was nothing to defy! She was free!.. And yet.
…She saved me… And everything went downhill from that point on.
I was saved. She clung to me. I saved myself – but she clung, and she was saved with me… She never realised that – she shouldn’t, wasn’t supposed to – but she stayed. Despite everything she stayed and asked me for help. She thought I could hide them… She had no idea, but she hoped I could help them! This is bizarre!
…The dragon sneezed. The terror in Twilight Sparkle’s soul… I think I was adamant… I had no intention… no intention to BABY-SIT ANY OF THEM!.. But what did I DO instead of LEAVING THEM??!
I know not. There is no defining what I did… I thought: “I hope you won’t judge me”… Judge me…
…“Judge me”… Me! Judge! Me?!..
Nope… Of course… Nope! I knew! That there would be no… absolutely no judging!..
But no. I was flaking. I had to remind myself, that I was the Spy!.. But nothing happened…
I tried again. I wanted to speak to Twilight Sparkle. I wanted to ask her: was she my friend? Was I someone, who’d befriended her and thus was responsible for her? No, she was not a baby… But emotionally… was she?.. Did she somehow become helpless and defenceless? Could she somehow not shield herself away from emotions?..
Of course, what am I saying? She was of prey, she couldn’t control her emotional state. From the day she was born she was destined to be miserable! She’d meet someone, she’d cling to him… And that would be it. She cared for Spike the dragon, no matter, what stupidities he did, how deep in trouble he got her… She befriended five additional ponies – and couldn’t allow herself to forget, to abandon them… She took it upon herself – and the responsibility sparkled the Elements inside her… Magic was there, the magic of friendship – and she connected to her friends… She became their friend. Helpless and defenceless, because since then she depended on them. She longed for them… and they provided for her… Of course she couldn’t shield herself from emotions…
But how was I at fault? I did nothing to befriend her! I… True, I chatted with her… I cannot imagine… imagine, how a simple conversation could be… pleasant to such a degree! Surely I left her no memory of that… She cannot remember anything about the Spy…
But she does – about Roach Coach. A guy from the yesterday’s party, who only chatted with her. He did nothing special, he didn’t even drive her high on love! I remember: I was Twilight Sparkle! And she remembered my being her – and has since found nothing suspicious. There was no Spy! She remembered Roach Coach as an ordinary guy, who had nothing special to himself!
So, when she found “him” unconscious on the street, – why was it, that she deliberately helped him??!
Why, Twilight Sparkle??? Why???
WHY??!..
Despite the restless night, I think, I managed to sleep. I think…
Down the sewers there is no sunlight, but it should be morning… and the city hasn’t even gone to sleep! No, I think no one has slept this night! How could one? The alarm would not die down even for a second!.. And the soldiers? Do they ever get tired?? Working shifts, I see. Well-well!.. How are they supposed to catch me? I am right here! Right behind them!.. I don’t think they can… discover me…
No. This is leading me to nowhere. No! They will NOT relent!..
…Unless I give them what they are after…
Now. This is the part, where I: find a quiet place… release my two, heh… “charges”… then pretend this has never happened…
And y-yet… “Do you really, Twilight?..”
J-just thinking… about it… it is… No!..
I could not!.. How could I?!.. There was nothing!.. Was it???.. What happened??!
Right then, when the dragon had sneezed! I… I thought…
NO JUDGING!.. No! Judging!.. No judging me… Me! The SPY!..
…How?.. How could it have happened?!.. H-how was I?..
But… Enough of that. Enough, I say! I am!.. But am I?.. Am I really… really… indomitable?.. Am I?..
I was… Yeah. “Flaking”, I’ve said it. I was flaking, no matter, what I tried. Despite what I was sure about myself in…
D… D-did… she really think… Did she? That she was my friend? That “Roach Coach” was her befriender? Was that what she thought??!
Twilight Sparkle…
Did you really, Twilight?.. S-S-Sparkle?.. Did you?!
That question!.. I’ve never gotten to ask her THAT!.. Even… rhetorically!
Her name was… Twilight Sparkle! Two name parts!..
…No matter what – not since I met them have I altered their names! “Pinkie Pie”. “Applejack”. “Rainbow Dash”… Why should I?!
For that matter: why would they? On multiple occasions in the past two days… “Pinkie”. “AJ”. “Rainbow”. “Dashie”! “Spikey-Wikey”!..
Despite the meaning being the same… No.
Even I have a name. And in my entire life not once has it been altered!..
They all have them! What is it, then?!.. And what was it?.. When… I?..
I told myself to DITCH them!!! But that was somehow!.. Undesirable!.. I couldn’t, no matter, what I did! So I stayed! I took them “under my”, ugh, “wing”!.. I partied with them! I slept over with them! I comforted them, I reassured them; anything I did was so! They! Be! Happy!.. I couldn’t escape them – oh no, sir! No! They came to support me – because they thought I was worth it! Because they considered me someone they should support! Someone they should care about! They thought me their befriender, and they thought me their friend!.. And everything went downhill. I became their property. I think… I think there has been an expectation floating around… Yes. They expect me to be their friend!..
But am I? Can I? There is no “friend” beneath this disguise – only a spy! Befriending me should be – a mistake! A grave one! I befriend no one: I’d have to become a friend at one point!.. And since I don’t care… Since I am in no position to befriend…
Please. Stop… befriending me! Stop! Do you hear?! Do you understand??! What will it take you?!..
They won’t learn, will they? I am disguised as their friend!.. And even now! When I am a random stranger! Twilight Sparkle!..
Darn you, Twilight Sparkle!!! Darn you for!.. WHAT DID YOU DO??!
Despite even the sewers inhabited with soldiers, as if they were but rats, I don’t stop to think twice.
Twilight Sparkle is out! Spike is out! Here we are.
You’ve been evading this, Twilight Sparkle… but I will bring you down!.. and hold you accountable!
Twilight Sparkle wakes up slowly. And so does the dragon.
I need not hurry them… Where is my disguise?..
Here we go! “Roach Coach” is back! Now, please, awake, Twilight Sparkle!..
She is waking up… She has waked up. Her eyes are focusing… I am in front of her…
She looks around… Rises to stand… Spike is waking up.
“R… Roach?..”
Yes, Twilight Sparkle?
“W-what… is going on?”
The thing is… Twilight Sparkle…
I inhale. Cough. My wristlet has never copied the real Roach Coach’s parameters…
Time… to fail.
I speak, doing my best impression of what I heard of his voice:
“Your Friendly Majesty Princess Twilight Sparkle”, – I say, trying not to trip over the words.
This elicits a smile out of her: she recognises my facetiousness.
I continue:
“We partied”.
“Yeah…”
She looks down. Do you remember now, huh, Twilight Sparkle? What did I do? What did I say?..
“I’m sorry!” – she blurts. What??
I need not feign surprise: I am surprised!
“For what?”
“Hey, what’s happened?! – Spike interrupts. – Are we safe??!”
Spike…
Twilight Sparkle acknowledges him. She faces him. She hugs him. “Spike!” – “Twilight! What’s going on?! Have we survived?! Have we escaped??! Where ARE we?!!”
“HUSH! – I hiss. – There are still guards!..”
They shrink, while I await the soldiers showing up any moment now!..
…There is someone out there. Someone is feeling close to us! And he is feeling…
Surprise.
…Why is he surprised?
I motion everyone to freeze.
The unknown one is approaching… Stepping carefully… Closer… and closer to us!..
Disguise… Yeah. I’ll change it, becoming someone unassuming. And they?
They’ll witness me changing. They’ll know “Roach Coach” is unusual.
…Just as planned.
Why, yes. Yes! It is… time! No memory-wiping!
Because the truth will shock them. Huh… Honesty… Am I honest? No. I am the Spy! Not a friend! Friends must be honest! I am not!
And yet… I can be…
Look closely!.. Twilight Sparkle! Look – and collapse!.. I am no one you’ve ever seen before.
And for that matter… neither has Spike…
Alright, this is a lie. They have got to have seen street cats, it’s just that they’ve never seen a pony change into one. But how is that different?
They’ve recoiled. Naturally! Yet they’ve remained silent.
Twilight Sparkle. What thoughts are flooding your mind now? I see into your soul, Twilight Sparkle. I know what you’re feeling. This is shocking, isn’t it? Are you trying to figure, who I am?
I am the Spy.
And the guard is here.
…That was… one of the most confusing scenes I’d witnessed!
Imagine: into our view did really step a soldier from the patrol. His task was, no doubt, to apprehend the purple alicorn, who’d committed a “crime”, and her dragon companion. But more importantly the alicorn.
The guard stepped into our view. Saw us. And… stared. In incomprehension.
Twilight Sparkle seemed to have had enough. Stupor overtook her, real, honest-to-Sun stupor! It really looked she was about to lose her consciousness. But she persisted.
The dragon might have gone unconscious as well, but, seeing Twilight Sparkle nearly collapsing (“look and collapse!”), abandoned that intent. Ignoring the guard – who was just standing there, staring at the unfolding events, dumbfounded – Spike was shaking the pony… dying internally, it seemed… crying out to her…
But not for long. He faced the guard. Scowled at him. Warned him with a scream to beware!
…And the guard… nearly tumbled down in his backing away. Did really plop onto the ground, almost falling into the sewage.
And then in disbelief he uttered:
“Why is SHE here?..”
I mean… what was wrong with him?? What?..
I? I was pretending I had been washing myself. That was my corner, and I’d much rather the uninvited guests left.
They wouldn’t. But the guard… He was… realising something.
His face changed. Disbelief. Then recognition. He pointed at the princess, having hard time believing… Why would he have?..
Then… Fear. Animalistic fear. He made to run… He ran.
…Wh… Why would he have run away?! Was it me? Was I too scary? NO, I wasn’t! I was a cat! Not a lion! Not a tiger! And Twilight Sparkle was harmless. The dragon? No. Hardly intimidating…
So what then?..
Voices.
The guard had run into someone else. We might be expecting a company!..
And then Twilight Sparkle snapped out of it and scrambled onto her hooves. And the dragon was glad – and proud of his chasing the guard away; and I was lost!
What was going on??!..
Twilight Sparkle blasted a hole. There was no doubting it. The powers she possessed were to marvel at! But how could I? I think, something knocked me. The following… eludes me…
I… don’t think I can move… But why???
“Time… to fail” – that was what I said. But this? This was not part of my plan!.. Where am I???
“Roach Coach?”
Twilight… Sparkle!.. What is it?
“Are you OK?”
Concern… True, genuine concern…
“Please, be OK!.. There’s not much time! Please, if you can… then tell me everything! Roach!”
Once… the truth be out… Twilight… Sparkle… What will become of me?..
I find my voice:
“Why can’t I move?”
“Oh, thank Celestia you’re OK!” A sigh of relief. “Now talk to me!”
I repeat my question.
“Oh! Don’t think of it!.. Listen, Roach…”
Light, light everywhere! My eyes!.. But through the light, pouring from the pony’s horn, I see her face. My vision is filled with it… And in her eyes I see no malice. Only… concern… Why?..
“You are not a pony. And I simply must know!..”
Of course… Of course I am not… a pony. Not really… Ha! It is ironic to pose as Roach Coach, who figured that out first, and to be discovered! But nor am I Roach Coach.
Now… What will you do? A stray cat, am I not?
I speak:
“What must you know?”
“Everything, – she answers. – In as little time, as possible!”
“What is… the rush?” – I manage. Why is it so hard to talk all of a sudden?
Thankfully, instead of keeping stubbornly on insisting, that she has “no time to explain anything, so listen!”, she deigns to elaborate:
“The guard! He’s not alone! They’re on to us! We’re in for it now, so, PLEASE! Tell me everything! Are you actually a changeling??!“
“Twilight, – the dragon calls. – Breathe”.
“I simply must know!!..”
“Calm down”.
The dragon, from what I hear, hops down and approaches us. His eyes meet mine. He attempts to see into my core… but there’ll be nothing for you!
“Listen, – he says bluntly. – When the guards get here, we can tell them you are a changeling. Or we can tell them whatever you confess to be. Your choice”.
How ever so mature of you… Spike the dragon… But…
“In the name of hecks are ‘changelings’?”
Spike’s face darkens. But no sooner, than Twilight Sparkle!.. interrupts:
“You were at the party yesterday… No… Urgh!..”
“Yes”, – I answer. Time to get over with it… “Two days ago… We… partied…” My, what is happening?? Am I choking?!
“And now you’re here! How?! Why are you here?? Do you really know an invisibility spell?? What did you do?? How we escaped??!”
She takes a moment to catch her breath. Poor... NO!!!..
…Her face fills my vision again. What… has just transpired???
“Please! Please, please, PLEASE!!.. Condense your entire story!!!” – she pleads.
The guards…
“We… – I say, – have… little… time…”
“Yes!”
“My… story… It is… a long one. You… want to know… everything!.. Nay?.. Then…”
Despite this strange weakness overtaking me… I make some effort to touch her.
My cat paw hasn’t changed – thanks to my wristlet!
Twilight… S… Sparkle!..
I… know her name!.. Don’t I??!
TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!..
“What… did you do?.. Tw…” – I gasp.
“What are you TALKING about?!! I did nothing!! I suspected you, and then!.. Everything went downhill!!! But now…”
Silence follows. Twilight SPARKLE withers…
“Twilight, – speaks the dragon, – leave him! He won’t tell you! For Pete’s sake! Just slap a sticker onto him! ‘I am a changeling’! Problem solved!”
Twilight onl… Sparkle. Her name… is!.. She… she only shakes her head.
“Twilight… Sparkle!.. Are you leaving me… behind?..”
She looks up at me strangely. What am I going on about? Then shakes her head again.
Tears… There are tears in her eyes. Why?.. Why???
WHY??!
“WHY, Twilight Sparkle?!” – I exclaim.
And I swear, if she dare answer me with “because I love you! There! I’ve said it!..”
But no. Nothing. She doesn’t answer anything…
For a while:
“I, – she sighs, – had to know…”
“W-w-what?..” – I croak.
Silence. Although… the guards are getting louder…
“To know what your deal was…” Inhale. Exhale. “I thought you a spy; I thought you a changeling!.. But that was silly! Why would I?.. Why should I?!.. You’d done NOTHING!.. And yet…” Sigh.
“Twilight”. The dragon puts his arm on Tw… her shoulder! “He looked like a pony. He changed into a cat! He’s GOT to be a changeling!”
Twil… she shakes her head stubbornly:
“Spike! I had no reason to assume… Why should I??!”
“But he is!..”
Silence. Time to interrupt:
“Twi… light… Sparkle!.. Why!.. would you… save me?!..”
She pauses. “‘Save you’? From what?”
“Yeah, – Spike chuckles. – Why should you?”
“Spike!”
“From, – I go on, – the guards… Remember?.. The shop!.. The lady!.. ‘Upstairs’!”
She remembers. “Ah, – she speaks. – That place? Well…” She peers at the noise the guards are making. Have we still time left?.. Never mind that! “I couldn’t allow for otherwise. You sounded so… innocent”.
“Yeah! – laughs Spike. – Innocent alright!”
“Ugh, Spike!.. And you were… hiding”.
Her voice’s gotten small. She’s looking at the ground now.
Well-well. That is… interesting.
“Besides… – she continues. – An invisibility spell! We were hiding too! You could help!..”
“You!.. – I snarl… don’t I? – You couldn’t even help yourselves!..”
“How COULD we?! We couldn’t go invisible! And you could help!.. And were a guy we knew from the party!.. And I had questions!..”
Helpless and defenceless…
“And… was I… your… friend?..” – I ask, though I get the feeling of shortness of breath… What is??.. Why???
…Hello? Answer me, please…
But she has trouble answering. The floor seems to be more interesting, now does it not? Yet she seeks an answer inside herself…
“You?” Spike… “Friend??.. No… Don’t make me laugh! I’m not in the mood!”
“And you?.. Are you a changeling? – Twilight Sparkle inquires shortly after. – Are we your prey?”
She demands to know an answer!.. And an answer there will be.
Are you my prey, Twilight Sparkle? For I did not feed off you. I… couldn’t tickle you, for I was you…
Yet… it is a possibility now…
But why are you asking… Twilight Sparkle? I asked you: was I your friend? I don’t think I was… I don't think you think I was... And… Whatever I have experienced so far!.. I think I’m getting better! I have not struggled to say “Twilight Sparkle” for a while now. And that’s good!
I am OK.
I am… in control…
I am free. Free once again… to pursue my objective!
“Twilight Sparkle”, – I say.
“Yes? What?”
“Honesty…” I think, any moment now the guards will get to us!.. “Can honesty make one… a friend?”
Wherever we are, the place’s walls are crumbling…
Before Twilight Sparkle can answer, however…
“Nope! Nope, it can’t! You are a changeling, and that settles it! You think, we will forgive you, only because you’ve decided to be honest all of a sudden?? That doesn’t WORK like that! Friendship is… like apples! D’you expect anyone to eat a spoilt apple, even though the spoiler has apologised and left?! Ha! That is delusional! You can’t be honest and expect us to buy that!.. Nope! You’ve been deceiving everyone, but now you’re out in the open! We saw you change! You are not a pony! And how can you be trusted?! You sly!.. changeling scum!..”
He takes a moment to shake his tiny fists.
“Spike, – lets Twilight Sparkle out. – …But he saved us”.
“Saved us?!”
“Saved you?!” I can’t believe it!.. Saved them! Why!..
“Yes, – Twilight Sparkle’s answer is. – …Saved us. I have no idea, what he did, how he did it… But we are here. And now…” Her eyes shift to the noise: the guards are breaking in! “And now I, again, believe he will save us”.
Uh…
“Because, Spike. You know what friendship is about?”
No way…
“Friendship is about giving another chance”.
I… no…
“And I’m willing to believe…”
What is there to say?.. She’s looking at me…
“…that Roach Coach, despite his shortcomings… despite his nature… deserves a second chance! Right, Roach?”
She smiles at me. Expecting me, apparently… To… what? To accept that?..
Something crashes. Swearing fills the air! A guard must have suffered… or whatever. Water is rushing outside. And they were so close…
“Twilight… Sparkle…” Despite everything… She wishes to befriend me… Befriend me!.. “I THINK…” No rush. The guards can wait. “…I’ve not told you enough. You see…”
I rise. I grow; I change my form to be something else. Have had enough of being a cat.
“I was the one… who got you into this mess. In the first place!”
Jaws drop.
“Spike… Perhaps, you should remember? What was it that changed in Twilight Sparkle? M-m-m?..”
“N… No… no way!.. It was YOU!! YOU!.. pretended to be Twilight!!.. You were HER at the party!!..”
“Aye, Spike!..” – despite everything my core… reacts… and a smirk finds a way to my lips. Twilight Sparkle’s lips. “The party!.. The sleepover!.. The lawsuit!.. The streets!.. But not the lady’s shop. No. Ever since then…”
“Hold on! What are you TALKING about??! I was there since the beginning!! Even… even the lawsuit!.. And… even… the streets!.. Oh, Spike, I’m so sorry!.. But that is true! I escaped!.. And… abandoned my friends!..”
“No, Twilight Sparkle, – I answer. – You didn’t”.
“H-h-huh??..”
Her face… So… miserable! She… she truly believed… she’d abandoned her friends… She truly did…
Of course… I was her. I hoped to leave not a trace. And, in case she’d been interrogated… my wristlet was managing her memory. To everyone it looked, as though Twilight Sparkle partied… slept over… then faced a… “doppelganger”… captured his mind… was arrested for that… escaped… was hiding…
But, in all truth… that was me. I partied. I slept over. I… Ugh. I did all that… Yet Twilight Sparkle… She was the one to suffer… Amazing, is it not?
Her friends… They never were my responsibility. They weren’t even mine to begin with! So why should I suffer for abandoning them? Why should I?
“You didn’t abandon them. For, Twilight Sparkle…”
I approach the princess. She wants to recoil… but can’t. Poor thing…
Having approached her, I inch my face closer. She wants to inch farther… but can’t…
I lock my eyes with hers. I see… many things in her soul… I see… so many things it’s hard to describe them all! The poor thing is… How do I even define what I’ve turned her into!..
“…you couldn’t…”
This… contradicts her logic: her eyes are reflecting that.
“…You, Twilight Sparkle, wanted to make friends from the beginning”.
“I…” – she protests.
“You knew they’d be attached! You tamed them!.. That sort of action cannot be left unpunished! You melted, Twilight. You allowed yourself to be tamed in return!..
And in the end, Twilight…” My forelegs rest on her shoulders… “You grew attached. There was magic inside you. Mysterious magic. So mysterious no one has even documented it! And that magic… was let free…”
Twilight Sparkle is staring at me, straining to figure out, how I can know that. For I remember our chat. I remember our discussing the “magic of friendship”… But she doesn’t remember I was there…
“…And you became their friend. And ever since that, Twilight Sparkle…” My smile widens, even though slightly. “…There was no abandoning them. You did nothing wrong, Twilight Sparkle! You love your friends! As they love you! And even though, Twilight Sparkle! You were not bound to reciprocate”, – I emphasise. Her breath catches in her throat; her eyes widen. “No friendship can be there…”
“…if one upon having befriended gets bored of his friends”, – she repeats in a hollow voice. Huh?? What?? “And I’m not… I love them… Ugh!..”
She sways, almost tumbling. Spike hurries to her side.
“All this talking! – he fumes. – You know so much about friendship – so why didn’t you CARE?! WHY did you even?!..” He trails off. “H-hold on… So who WAS partying that night?..”
“And that, – speaks a new voice, – we’ll figure out… at our place!”
Darn… The guards…
THE GUARDS!!!..
Faces are peeking through holes in the walls. The ponies… HAVE THEY BEEN LISTENING TO OUR EXCHANGE THIS WHOLE TIME??!..
“Time… to fail”… Ha…
Ha-ha… Is it already?..
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Why isn't there a crossover tag?
11248162
?..
Huh? Crossover?..
I didn't mean it to be a crossover. It's not supposed to. It's Equestria as we know it.
But, you know... with an original spy char.
Why would you even