• Published 2nd Nov 2019
  • 362 Views, 24 Comments

Weird Al: Enter the Yankoverse - EquestrianTwist

The only time where he's not the weirdest one in the room...

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Chapter 1: The Saga Begins

Li’l Cheese giggled to himself as he placed a glass of water on the counter of Sugarcube Corners’ kitchen. Pound and Pumpkin Cake were out visiting their parents at the place where they retired and his mommy was out picking up groceries for the bakery, so now was the perfect time to set up his prank.

He couldn’t stop laughing, she’ll be so surprised when she takes that first sip. She was going to be all like, “Hmm… this water tastes funny?” Then be like, “Li’l Cheese did you do something to this water?” Then he’d laugh like when he got presents on his birthday, and then she’d say, “Li’l Cheese, you little stinker.” But in that good-natured motherly way, because mommy always loves a good prank. Daddy did too, but he wasn’t here right now.

The bell to Sugarcube Corner’s backdoor rang, alerting Li’l Cheese to his victim’s arrival. He placed his hooves over his mouth in an attempt to hide his snickering, “Hi, Mommy! Welcome home.”

“Thanks, sweetie!” Pinkie greeted back. Her saddlebags looked almost filled to bursting, to the point that Li’l Cheese thought he could pop them like balloons with a needle. Pinkie struggled as she made her way to the counter, “You mind helping mommy put these ingredients away, Li’l Cheese?”

“Okay!” Li’l Cheese happily rushed over to the counter as Pinkie hefted the saddlebags up and over her head. Li’l Cheese snickered, “So what did you buy this time, mommy?”

Pinkie shrugged her shoulders before she replied, “Oh, the usual stuff. Twelve bags of flower, eight bags of sugar, three tubs of chocolate chips, three tubs of chocolate chips to use in the store…”

“Boy, carrying all that sure sounds tiring.” Cheese said in his best attempt to sound nonchalant, but in truth sounded more phoney than using chocolate bit as real money. “You should drink something,” He then pointed to the other side of the counter where he strategically placed his water. “Like this conveniently placed glass of water I just poured for myself.”

Pinkie eyed the glass sceptically. She was thirsty, carrying a metric ton of baking supplies in saddlebags only built to carry six books and an apple did that to a mare. But she had too much experience pulling pranks and being the prankie to not notice the obvious signs.

Pinkie smirked knowingly, “I think I’m alright, Li’l Cheesie.” She said as she turned back to her work. “Why don’t you drink it? After all, it would be rude of me to take it from you after you poured it for yourself."

Li’l Cheese silently gasped, he knew he shouldn’t have said he poured the glass for himself! Now his mommy was using good manners to avoid setting off his trap, and worse yet, teach him a lesson he had already heard a gazillion times at the dinner table. He needed to think fast or his entire plan would be sunk!

An idea soon hit him, if she was going to use manners against him, then he would use flattery against her. “It’s okay mommy, you’re obviously more thirsty than I am, carrying all those super heavy bags and all. How did you get so strong anyway? I’ll bet I’ll never get that strong.”

“I know what your doing, Li'l Cheesie.” Pinkie Pie stated.

Li’l Cheese began to sweat, “No you don’t.”

“Your trying to distract me with flattery so I’ll drop my guard and drink that water, right?”

Li’l Cheese shook her head nervously, “Noooooo…”

“Don’t lie to your mother, Cheesie.” Pinkie Pie said with a playful smirk. “If I were your Auntie Applejack, it would lead to a paddling. Too bad for you I’m not.”

Li’l Cheese cocked a brow in confusion, “But isn’t you not being Auntie Applejack a good thing?”

“Not really…” Pinkie Pie explained as she shoved her hooves into her hair. Within seconds she pulled out a rowing oar, “...because I use a bigger paddle.”

Li’l Cheese’s sweat started to become more noticable. She had never spanked him before, but the mere sight of her weapon of choice for souring bottoms made him hesitant to do anything bad ever again. He instinctively grabbed both of his li’l flanks.

Pinkie smiled, “Is there something you want to tell me, Li’l Cheese?~” She asked in a singsong voice.

Li’l Cheese nodded woefully, he had been defeated yet again by his mother the prank master, “I was trying to prank you with that glass of water.”

Pinkie laughed to herself briefly to avoid hurting Li’l Cheese’s feelings. Still, it didn’t mean she couldn’t run her victory in his face at least a little bit. “Tell me Cheesie? Do we have a phone?”

Li’l Cheese sighed, “Yes mommy, we have a phone. It’s the only one in existence besides the one Dr. Time Turner has, but yes we have one.”

Pinkie nodded her head in triumph, “Good, because I need to use it and tell Mr. Doo that I called it!”

“You know if you keep doing that he’s going to take the phone away from you, mommy.” Li’l Cheese explained. They have had several warnings already and Doos could not take anymore all night over-the-phone parties.

“It’s a figure of speech, Li’l Cheese.” Pinkie said proudly, “The point is, I saw your prank coming from a mile away. My Pinkie sense told me a doozy was on the way while I was coming home from the market, so I knew to be on guard as soon as I walked in through the door.”

She slid over to inspect the water, her eyes extending out of her head like snail stocks to closely observe her beloved child’s prank. “So what you do to it?” She asked, “Did you glue the glass to the counter? Pick your nose and wash your hoof in it? Rig it to a trip wire so it would explode?!”

Li’l Cheese answered in order, “No, gross, and I wish.” He sighed again, this time in a distraught manner, “Two of those sound like much better pranks than what I came up with.” He kicked his hoof knocking up some dirt from the floor, “I just filled the glass with some old yucky mirror pool water.”

Pinkie froze as if Li’l Cheese just said cupcakes had been made illegal. She turned to Li’l Cheese with a thousand yard stare, “What did you say, sweetie?”

Li’l Cheese nervously rubbed his hoof against the floor, he knew he was in trouble now, “I, umm… filled the glass with magic water from the mirror pool.”

“Chedediah Nicholas Sandwich!” Pinkie placed her hooves on her hips and shouted in a frustrated tone, “Didn’t your father and I tell you never to go near the mirror pool. It’s really dangerous and the clones you could have unleashed might have caused havoc on the town!”

“But I was super-duper careful, mommy!” Li’l Cheese tried to explain, “I went through the Everfree Forest during the day when you said it’d be safest and I didn’t swim in the pool. I only bottled up a little bit of it in my Daring Do brand young explorer's canteen.”

“That’s no excuse, mister!” Pinkie warned, “You know your not supposed to enter the Everfree at anytime without a big pony accompanying you, and trying to make me drink the mirror pool is worse than just swimming in it yourself.”

Li’l Cheere looked both worried and confused, “Why?”

“Because Li’l Cheese it’s a magic spring that we don’t really understand. If it can make clones of me by simply letting me swim around in it, who knows what it could do to my body if I drank it.” Pinkie suddenly switched from her serious parental tone to her more common bubbly tone of voice, “Plus the mirror pool is located in a wet, dirty cave inside an even dirtier forest.” She booped Li'l Cheese on the snout while she scolded him, “You were trying to make me drink dirty water, Li’l Cheese, and that’s not nice.”

Li’l Cheese sniffled, “I’m sorry, mommy. I was only trying to make you laugh.”

Pinkie’s serious expression faltered, she hated having to be a good parent around her child and lay down the law, but it was the only way to make sure Li’l Cheese grew up to be kind respectable member of society. Still that didn’t mean she couldn’t console her sweet little colt while he was feeling down. A Pie/Sandwich’s job was to spread joy and laughter after all.

“It’s okay Li’l Cheese,” Pinkie said as she scooped her little bundle of joy into her arms. “I know you weren’t trying to hurt anypony. But you need to think more before you decide to do something.” Pinkie began to chuckle, “I mean look at me, I did the exact same thing you just did a long time ago and I’m still looking for the clones of me that are hiding somewhere out there in Equestria.”

Li’l Cheese wiped his eyes and began to laugh as well, “Hehe, I have so many mommies.”

Pinkie nodded, “Yes you do. But let’s not follow mommy’s bad example. We need to put the water you collected back before something bad happens.”

“Is this a private group hug or can anypony join?”

The familiar voice soon caused both ponies’ eyes to widen. They turned around to see an orange-coated stallion in a yellow shirt waiting for them with his forelegs stretched wide open.

Li’l Cheese cheered, “Daddy!” In excitement he hopped out of his mother's embrace and charged his father with the intent to tackle-hug him. He collided forcefully with his stomach, but was not nearly enough to knock the stallion over. Li’l Cheese’s mother however, was more than enough to send both stallions, young and old, to the floor.

Cheese Sandwich chortled while lying beneath his family members, “Ask a silly question…”

“What are you doing home, Cheesie?” Pinkie asked, “I thought you had that big birthday party to throw in Appleloosa and wouldn’t be back till tomorrow?”

“They decided to make the party a short one.” Cheese explained, “Something about needing to harvest a big bumper crop in the morning and not wanting everypony to be hungover on salt.”

Pinkie Pie frowned, “That’s sad. A party should never be short. They need time to really get into the swing of things so everypony can have the best time ever!”

“That’s what I said. But they were super serious about it, so I had to do what they asked.” The Sandwiches picked themselves up and began to dust off their shirts and coats, “Doesn’t really bother me none though, just means I get to see my amazing family all the sooner.”

Pinkie giggled and lovingly punched Cheese in the arm, “Oh Cheesie, you old charmer.”

“It’s why you married me.” Cheese Sandwich walked over towards the counter and began to stretch out his back. “I tell ya, all these back and forth trips to Equestria and beyond do a number on a party pony body. We need to invent another method of travel because I’m stiff from all these cramped train rides.”

Li’l Cheese suddenly began jumping up and down in excitement, “Mommy is still perfecting her instant party cannon delivery service, I bet we could transport ponies why faster using that!”

Cheese mumbled, “Yeah, and make them stiff as boards while we're at it.” He tousled his colt’s mane, “I don’t think Equestria is ready for cannon travel yet, Li’l Cheese. At least not until Princess Twilight decrees all her subjects should get free skydiving lessons.” He turned his head as he was stretching and noticed the glass of water on the counter.

“Oh hey, a conveniently placed glass of water. I was feeling kinda thirsty.” Cheese grabbed the glass and brought it to his mouth.

Pinkie and Li’l Cheese screamed in unison, “Daddy/Cheesie! No!

The water was however gone before they could finish. Cheese looked at them with a refreshed expression on his face, “Sorry family, what did you two say?”

It was at this point that Cheese’s body began to bloat like a gum-chewing girl in a candy factory. His body became so big and so round he nearly filled the room, leaving Pinkie and Li’l Cheese only enough space to walk the foot and half distance between him and the door.

Cheese blinked in confusion before looking down at the mammoth water balloon that was now his body. He looked back at Pinkie, “Pinkie dear, what just happened?”

Pinkie Pie looked nervous, “Li’l Cheese tried to prank me by making me drink a cup of mirror pool water. That water you just drank was the same cup.”

Cheese took a few moments to think about this. He was familiar with the mirror pool thanks to the stories Pinkie Pie had told him, but he couldn’t recall any instance in those stories where somepony had drank from the pool before. That meant he might have very well been the first, and as a result would be unable to find anyone with knowledge on how to fix this situation in a short amount of time. Cheese steeled his expression, a gut feeling told him what to do next.

“Pinkie, Li’l Cheese, please leave the room and don’t look back.” He spoke like an action hero about to make the ultimate sacrifice. “A quite literal feeling in my gut tells me this next part is not going to be pretty.”

Pinkie blinked in dismay, tears welling up in her eyes, “Are you sure, Cheesie? I can go find a doctor or Starlight and have you fixed, lickity-split!” Pinkie knew it was a false hope, but she didn’t like the alternative.

“No…” Cheese exclaimed somberly, “there’s nothing we can do about it now. Just get Li’l Cheese out of here, if this is it I don’t want his last memory of me being a warm splashy feeling on the outside of his eyelids.” Pinkie nodded and scooped up their child, who seemed too scared to move.

“Oh and Li’l Cheese,” Cheese said before Pinkie could pull both of them out of the room, “If I do somehow survive this, you, me, and your mother are going to have a long conversation on not taking things from where they belong. Is that understood, mister?”

Li’l Cheese nodded, “Yes daddy.” He was sort of hoping he’d get scolded this time, because that would mean he would at least get to see his daddy again.

Pinkie and Li’l Cheese ducked around the corner and waited for the inevitable. There was a long swoth of silence before a loud “pop” was heard. It sounded like someone had overinflated a whoopie cushion. Pinkie and Li’l Cheese felt warm tears ran down their faces, the world had just lost another clown.

The two solemnly rounded the corner into the kitchen, only to be surprised when they saw that the kitchen had not been painted a new coat of red like they first thought. Instead it looked like a twister had hit the room, with several items that decorated the kitchen now blow all over the place and every piece of furniture now broken or knocked on its side, and in the middle of it all was a very beaten, but still very much alive, Cheese Sandwich with stretch marks.

Cheese blinked as he tried to contemplate what the hay just happened. “Well that didn’t go at all like I expected.” He looked over himself to see if he wasn’t too seriously hurt, “I seem to still be alive though, so that’s nice.”

He let out a sudden squeal of pain as his wife and son enveloped him in a deep hug, “Cheese! Thank Celestia your alive! I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you!” Pinkie Pie cried.

Li’l Cheese nuzzled into his dad’s singed shirt, “I’m sorry, daddy!” He whimpered. “I promise I’ll nevereverevereverevernever take water from the mirror pool again. Just please don’t explode no more.”

Cheese mumbled under his breath and embraced his family, “Trust me, I don’t plan on doing it a second time.” He began to whimper as their hugs grew tighter, “Listen guys, I’m happy to be alive too and love that you both love me so much. But my body is still sore from my sudden expansion and all this hugging is starting to hurt.”

The two let go of Cheese, but Pinkie was quick to think of a less harmful alternative, “Well how about a kiss then, Cheesie? Will that make you feel better?” Pinkie asked as she fluttered her eyelashes.

Cheese could only blush and smile in reply, “I don’t know, it might help.”

Pinkie’s flirtatious expression suddenly changed into a more mischievous one as she turned to her son, “You heard him, Li’l Cheese. Your daddy needs a kiss stat!”

Without hesitation, Li’l Cheese leapt upwards and gave his father a quick kiss on the cheek. The suddenness of Pinkie’s joke dawned on Cheese as soon as it happened and he couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the absurdity of the whole situation. Pinkie and Li’l Cheese joined him soon after, and would have kept laughing if a voice that sounded remarkably like Cheese’s didn’t moan from the other side of the room.

They turned to look at the corner of the room where several bags of flour and a turned over table sat. All the items began to jostle as something climbed out from underneath. Pinkie pushed Li’l Cheese behind her and stepped in front of her husband.

“Could you maybe take it easier on the turns? This is a tour bus, not a roller coaster.” The creature asked sarcastically.

It pushed the objects covering it away as it stood upright, revealing its appearance to them in all its glory. The creature was clearly human, if Pinkie’s many visits to the human world were anything to go off of, only it had a pale skin color in comparison to the many varying hues she was used to seeing. It was also dress in a loud yellow shirt with green palm trees on it, blue pants, brown shoes, and had long brown hair that resembled Cheese’s but falling downwards in the form of a mullet.

“Note to self, possible premise for a song: accidently driving my tour bus onto a roller coaster.” The human mumbled to himself. He turned towards them by chance and froze in his tracks the moment he met their eyes.

Dead silence soon filled the room as both parties just stared at each other with ever widening eyes. Then suddenly, the human screamed, which made Pinkie scream, which made Li’l Cheese scream, which made Cheese Sandwich scream.

So to make a long story short, they were all very loud and very confused.

Fifteen minutes of consecutive screaming later, plus a two-minute water break to alleviate scratchy throats, the Sandwiches and the human found themselves seated in a booth in the bakery’s dining area with each nursing a cup of hot cocoa to help calm their nerves. The sign to Sugarcube Corner had been turned to “Closed” to prevent any other unexpected guests from arriving.

“Mmmm… thanks for the drink.” The human said, “This is probably the best hot chocolate, I’ve ever tasted.”

Pinkie Pie giggled, “You’re welcome, but you should really be thanking the Cakes. It’s their recipe afterall.”

The human nodded, “Their the previous owners of this bakery, right? I think I remember them.”

Li’l Cheese tilted his head in confusion, “How did you know that? Also who are you? And what are you? And why do you sound so much like my daddy?”

Pinkie tutted Li’l Cheese, “Now Li’l Cheese, what did your father and I tell you about bombarding of ponies with questions?”

Li’l Cheese suddenly looked guilty, “Oh! Sorry sir. Umm…” He thought about which question he wanted answered first, “...Can you answer the second question first?”

The human chuckled, “Sure I can, kiddo. My name is Alfred Matthew Yankovic, but most people tend to know me as Weird Al. I’m a human-being from a place called Earth where I travel my home country singing and writing songs and generally just making other humans laugh.”

Li’l Cheese giggled into his hooves, “You sound just like my daddy. He sings songs and travels the country too, and he loves making everypony laugh! My mommy does too, but she likes to stay closer to Ponyville where her friends live.”

Weird Al nodded, “I’m aware.” He mumbled, unaware that Cheese and Pinkie were able to hear him. They were growing increasingly more concerned the longer they spent with their newest house guest.

Cheese laughed awkwardly, “It’s actually funny, but my middle name is Alfred.”

“Really?” Weird Al asked in legitimate surprise.

“Yes it is…” Pinkie continued, “Cheesterton Alfred Sandwich.” Her voice began to grow more gravelly like a bad cop about to interrogate a perp. “Kind of a ‘weird’ coinkydink, him having the same name and voice as you, Mr. Yankovic. Don’t you think?”

Weird Al felt unnerved under Pinkie's judgemental gaze. It almost felt like he was part of another Whiplash sketch. “I guess so.” He answered back nervously.

“Sweetie…” Cheese tried to reel her back, but Pinkie just raised her hoof and Cheese fell silent.

“I find it very ‘weird’ in fact, Mr. Yankovic. So very ‘weird’ that it makes me doubt you are who you say you are.” Pinkie slammed her hoof on the table, scaring all three males around her, “So spill it, Mr. ‘Weird’ Al! If that even is your real name?!”

“It’s not really, it’s more of a nick-”

“Dodging the question! I knew it you’re some badie in disguise!” Pinkie declared, “Well too bad for you, Queen Chrysalis, or whoever you are! I’ve been through this kind of situation more times than I can count, so I know when there’s a shapeshifter under my roof. I WON’T LET YOU HURT MY FAMILY!”

Pinkie suddenly leapt over the table and tackled Weird Al to the floor. She prided his mouth open with her hooves and shouted down his gullet, “Reveal your true form, bad guy! Before I deliver a birthiversary-sized can of kickflank on your butt!”

Cheese was quick to pull his wife off him, “Pinkie calm down! I don't think he’s here to hurt anypony. I think he’s telling the truth.”

Pinkie fought against his hold, she wasn’t as good at spotting a liar as Applejack, but she could at least let this “Weird Al” explain himself before deciding to play judge, jury, and executioner.

Pinkie inhaled deeply, before releasing a calming breath, “Alright.” She conceded. “I’ll admit it wasn’t very fair of me to jump to conclusions like that. I’ve had problems with that before and it isn’t a good example to set for Li’l Cheese.” Cheese let his wife go, allowing Pinkie to fall back down onto her hooves, “But I warn you. If I don’t like anything about your story, I’m going to introduce your behind to my punishment paddle. Do you understand?”

Weird Al noticed that Pinkie’s hair was starting to deflate, giving him a little extra credence to come up with a convincing story. Grabbing onto the booth he fell from, Weird Al pulled himself up and onto his feet, “It’s as I told you, my name is Alfred Yankovic and I’m from the planet Earth. Before I got here, I was traveling the United States of America on one of my concert tours, when suddenly we hit a huge bump in the road and I found myself inside your kitchen.”

Pinkie looked less sceptical, but the emotion was still there, “A likely story. How exactly did you end up in my kitchen then?”

Al only shook his head, “That part I can’t answer. I’m just as confused as you are.”

Pinkie’s brows furrowed, “Then how do you know who we are? Who the Cakes are? If this really is your first time being here, then you shouldn’t know anything about this place or the ponies who live here.”

Weird Al was struck silent, she had heard the mumbled statements he had made to himself and he cursed himself for not being more subtle. With a sigh, he resigned himself to telling the truth and hoped to all powers listening that what he was about to say would not be too shocking for them to hear.

Al gulped nervously before speaking, “In my world there’s a popular cartoon show on TV called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. In this show, six ponies, you and your friends Pinkie Pie, go on grand adventures and solve friendship problems between yourselves and other ponies in order to keep the ideals of harmony alive. Over the course of this show, I was asked by the show’s creators to voice a character named Cheese Sandwich...” The Sandwiches gasped as Weird Al pointed at Cheese, “...him.”

Pinkie felt her eyebrows furrow again, she had never heard a more ridiculous story in her life, and that was saying something consider the ponies who made up her immediate family.

She glared at Al, “You really expect me to believe that!” Pinkie shouted, “The only TVs I know of are in Sunset's world, which means your not a shapeshifter who here to kidnap me, but an evil human who tricked Twilight's friends in the human world to lead you here so you could steal our magic!"

Weird Al looked confused, "Wha-"

"How else would you know so much about us with meeting us face to face?” Pinkie then pointed dramatically at him, “You know what I think? You’re some kind of spy who can in contact withone of Equestria’s greatest enemies! They promised you something big if you were able to dispose of me, Twilight, and our friends, right?!”

Pinkie suddenly tackled Al again and pried him mouth open a second time, “Who sent you evil human spy! Tirek?! Queen Chrysalis?! Cozy Glow?!”

“Mommy…all those guys are trapped in stone, remember?”

“That doesn’t matter!” Pinkie continued to shout, “The point is, Weird Al Yankovic here isn’t who he says he is, and I will not give him the chance to commit whatever dastardly scheme he’s concocting!”

Weird Al gurgled out as many illegible pleas for mercy his open mouth could make, thankfully Cheese was still quick to pull his wife off him despite the ludicrous story he had just heard. “I think it’s still too early to judge him so harshly, Pinkie. We should call in an expert on these sort of things.”

Pinkie begrudgingly calmed down, “Like who?”

“Well, why don’t we contact Princess Twilight? If he really is a human like he says, wouldn’t it be best to let the ruler of the kingdom decide what to do with him?”

Pinkie stared at Cheese for a moment, before turning back towards Al with a frightening gaze. “I'll go write a letter, but don’t think this is over for a second, Mr. Yankovic.” She began trotting out of the room before stopping at the doorway, “Li’l Cheese, keep an eye on this weirdo until I get back. I don’t want him pulling any sort of tricks while I’m alway.”

Li’l Cheese saluted at his mommy, “Yes Sir Mam Sir!” Li’l Cheese then turned towards Al with a determined expression, like a prison guard who had seen more riots in his lifetime then birthday parties, “You’re in trouble now, Mr. Bad Guy Spy.”

Weird Al only blinked in confusion, before turning his eyes up to meet Cheese's. He hoped to get some semblance of hope or at least an explanation of what was going to happen to him, but only received a shrug and a shake of the head from the stallion.

Cheese mouth the words “I’m sorry” to him, fortifying what he feared most was coming true. He was for real trapped in Equestria and at the mercy of a 4th Wall-breaking mare and her family.

He couldn't believe how accurate his horrorscope was being today.

Author's Note:

Is it weird that 'Weird Al' is going to the straightest played character in this story? :unsuresweetie:

Anyways, another new project, hope you guys enjoy it. :twilightsmile:

This version of Weird Al is from Batman: Brave and the Bold episode, Bat-Mite Presents: Batman's Strangest Cases!

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