Chapter 20: Secrets: Part 1
Luna had just dropped the bomb shell of hiding a part of her past from Sunset, and the air held suspense as though a wine glass was about to shatter on the floor.
After a brief moment of hesitation and confusion, Sunset was the first to break the uncomfortable silence. “Luna? What do you mean you haven’t been entirely honest?” She asked in a meek voice. She glanced up to her guardian, her eyes tight and worried.
Fate had finally caught up to Luna and she hung her head in shame and bitter remorse. The Vice Principal dared herself to look up and was met with comforting teal eyes.
Chrysalis, who sat on the recliner gave Luna an encouraging nod. She moved over to sit next to her right side. The turquoise haired woman grabbed her beloved’s hand into her own and spoke in a soothing tone, “You can do this, love.”
With a shaky breath and the comfort of Chrysalis, Luna steeled her nerves for her next few words. “Sunset look, what I’m about to tell you is something that I did when I was younger. It’s not something I’m proud of, and it’s not easy for me to talk about.” She placed her free hand on Sunset’s, and gave it a squeeze, ”However, with everything that’s happened today, this is something you must know.”
Sunset tensed up, not used to Luna to squeezing her hand without also dragging her into her office. The secure sense of power completely replaced by a plea for trust to help her not fall apart. “Luna?” Sunset increased her grip on Luna’s hand to reciprocate the gesture. “What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you this distressed before.”
To keep her girlfriend at ease, Chrysalis decided to be the one to take over. She cleared her throat, “Sunset. I know you’re worried but Luna’s fine. It’s like she said, this isn’t easy for her to talk about. So I need you to promise me you’ll support her, okay?” She spoke in a firm yet caring voice.
Sunset focused her eyes on Chrysalis. She took in her words carefully and responded with a nod.
Luna couldn’t even look at her favorite girl. Her gaze wandered elsewhere, and she had a sudden deep fascination with her hand in Chrysalis’.
It was almost like Sunset caught a glimpse of how Luna must’ve felt just before she was about to make her own attempt. The vulnerability she exposed spoke volumes to the former bully, and it was like seeing her own past through Luna’s eyes.
Sunset had always considered Luna as someone who was strong and grounded. In the many years she’s known her, the Vice Principal always had an air of strictness around her. However, this wasn’t Luna the Vice Principal. This Luna here was different completely.
Luna was showing Sunset emotions that Sunset thought her guardian wasn’t capable of. Her emotions were more flawed and opened, that Sunset could recognise the similarities between them.
Chrysalis and Celestia always said they’re alike since day one but that never occurred to Sunset how much they shared in common. Until now, and she finally had more of an understanding of the woman.
Luna was afraid.
Afraid of being rejected, abandoned, judged because of their true self. To be so rotten to be of no value to anything. And for that judgment to be true, just and right. Not the fear of the unknown, but the fear of knowing exactly what you are and having to face it.
Sunset’s face began to soften and she gave Luna’s hand another squeeze. “I’m here for you Luna, whatever you’ve gone through. I’m here, okay?”
Luna paused and took in the comforting words of support from Sunset. She cupped the teen’s face with her hand and managed a frail smile. A gesture Sunset took as a thank you.
Bringing her hand off Sunset, Luna inhaled deeply. “After I got released from Juvie. Chrys and I lived in a small apartment, in the old part of town. You know, after I got released I wanted to move on from my past. Start living a decent life with my loving girlfriend by my side. I even had dreams, hopes and plans for mine and Chrys’ future together.” Luna let out a bitter laugh and the corners of her brows furrowed. “But unfortunately for that, life had other things in store and I had gotten very ill.”
“Ill how?” Sunset asked.
“I suffered badly from depression, anxiety, ptsd, even panic attacks.” Luna listed off flatly.
Sunset placed her hand on her chest and could feel her heartbeat with a sting. “Oh Luna.”
Luna brought her knees to her chest. She sniffed a little. “It was awful, Sunset. Not only was the depression bad to handle, our home life was just as depressing as I was. There were times we struggled to pay for food, rent and heating bills. Even basic essentials we couldn’t afford because we were too busy focusing on trying to keep a roof over our heads. All the things I have, and being able to provide for you I’m so beyond grateful for, because Chrys and I never had those kinds of luxuries back then.”
Luna let out an audible sigh. She sat more slumped. “And god, the apartment was a riot. We had so many problems with it. The walls were damp, our floorboards creaked. Our boiler broke a good few times too. Though, Chrys actually managed to fix it. The bit of furniture we did have was old and dirty, and we didn’t even have a washing machine or dryer. It was either a manual wash or if we had a good week and we could afford it, Chrys took them to the laundry shop. Every penny we had, we counted and every week we wondered what we could give up for other things we needed. It was hard, Sunset. Especially for Chrysalis. She was the one that dealt with it all, and as if that wasn’t enough stress for her. When I fell ill, she looked after me and I made our miserable situation even worse.”
Sunset gave Luna a frown of disapproval. “What? Why?” She asked and gave Chrys a sideway glance. “What did you do?”
Luna looked up and released another shaky breath. “I-I tried to take my own life, Sunset.” She impaired with a stutter, running her fingers through her hair.
Sunset felt lightning crackle through her veins and time suddenly got slower. She lost all sense around her, and her mind spun out of control. She was glad that she was sitting down, if she wasn’t, her whole body would’ve crumbled to the floor.
Luna placed her hand on the young one’s shoulder shakily, “Sunset?” She said in a panicked tone.
After she felt Luna’s touch, Sunset jumped back and snapped her head round to her. “You… tried the same thing I did?” She asked in disbelief.
Luna nodded in response. She looked away in shame and let a tear fall.
A fresh set of tears welled up in the corner of Sunset’s eyes and she shifted herself closer to Luna. “Why Luna?”
Luna closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself and her bottom lip jutted out. “I thought it was the only way to stop the torture.” She shed a few more tears. With a sniffle, Luna continued, “What I had done to Tia had really messed me up. The guilt wouldn’t stop and all I wanted to do was hurt myself over it. It took over my body, and I felt like I deserved to die. Guess that explains why I got angry at you today: it broke my heart to hear you say those things about yourself. It was like I was standing in front of my younger-self. It’s no excuse for shouting at you, I shouldn’t have done that. But I couldn’t help it. I was so furious at myself and took it out on you.”
Not only did guilt sit on Sunset’s chest, it was also invested in her mind. Flashbacks of what she had said to Luna in her office grimace crossed her face. How could she have been so careless to refuse help from the one person who cares about her the most? No wonder Luna did get angry.
An itch tickled her arm, and she glanced down at the cuts she had made. With a frown, she fought back the itch. Hiding her arm close to her lap, she glanced back up to her caretaker. “I’m sorry Luna. I don’t blame you for getting mad, I did too. I-I took it too far, and I didn’t realize my words were hurting you.”
Luna placed her hand on Sunset’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I am too. We’ll work on how we deal with things in the future.”
She brought her hand off Sunset and wiped at her tears. Her spirit overcame a sudden look of deep dejection. “Sunset, I get you, more than you know. I wish it wasn’t like that, but I do. When I suffered with my depression, I felt like I was drowning and I desperately held onto Chrysalis like she was my last lifeline. I never slept, I skipped meals on days we even had some food, and sometimes I completely abandoned my hygiene. There were months, consecutive sometimes, when I didn’t have my period. It wasn’t due to pregnancy. There was no way that could have happened and I would never cheat on Chrys. I had gotten extremely thin. Nothing but skin and bones. It threw off my hormones so bad it caused me to be late regularly. My mood swings changed like the weather and my gosh,” she turned to Chrysalis, “I was so cruel to you.”
Luna’s eyes shifted, and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. Memories came back of the spiteful words, of all the spiteful acts she had unleashed upon her. When all Chrysalis wanted to do was show her that she was loved and cared for.
Another tear ran down her cheek, bitterly regretting all those burdens she caused upon her. Luna’s voice wobbled as she spoke, “I am so sorry for everything Chrysalis. Y-You cared so much for me, and I-I didn’t appreciate it enough just how special you truly were to me during that time. You were always there for me, even after I had told you that I hated you - didn’t want you anymore, yet you took it all with patience and you hugged me close when I cried. It seems so small, but that must’ve hurt Chrys. I shouldn’t have ever rejected you like that.”
Chrysalis could see right through those cyan eyes, those same eyes that make her weak to her knees. Usually, she would see in Luna’s eyes merely love and sweetness, but now there was all the pain and sorrow she had carried with her from back when until ever after.
The sight made Chrysalis’ heart throb. She cleared the lump in her throat and swept some of Luna’s hair away. She rested her hand on her shoulder. “Don’t apologize Lu. I’ll admit, it did hurt. But, I loved you - I still do. That’s why I cared for you. It should be me who’s sorry.”
Luna shot up to face Chrysalis with a warm smile. Then suddenly, her lips quivered as she fell down the cracks in memory lane. “What? Why should you be sorry? God, Chrys! I even threw a wine bottle at you after you had saved up enough money to treat us for our anniversary! And I ruined it by throwing a tantrum all because I wasn’t in the mood! I was such an ungrateful bitch! How did you ever love me?”
“You’re really questioning why I love you? Chrysalis sneered. “You were my entire world, Luna! I tried my best, yet my best wasn’t enough. None of this is your fault. It’s mine, and mine alone.” A single drop of grief brimmed Chrysalis’ eyes. She turned away and closed her lids. “I failed you Luna. And I’m still doing it.”
Luna gave her sweetheart a scowl. Clearly Chrys’ words struck a nerve in her body. She slightly raised her voice, “Chrys, no! Stop! It isn’t your fault. Do you realize how amazing you were with me? You even had to bathe, dress and feed me like a child some nights, and that earned a slap across the face when you tried to force me out of bed! I was the problem. Not you.”
“But that wasn’t enough, Luna!” Chrysalis' voice cracked. She shook her head in despair and bowed her head down to the floor. It seemed unfair to her, no matter how much she strived to be the girlfriend Luna needed her to be, she still felt like a failure. For all her efforts, Luna chose death over life with her. “I should have done things differently. It wasn’t enough.”
Guilt corrupted Luna’s heart, like a hungry wolf tearing away at every little trembling bit of it. “You were enough Chrysalis. I wasn’t.” She placed her hand on Chrysalis’ chest. “Maybe, I was too much even.”
“Taking care of you wasn’t enough,” She scoffed and jumped back from Luna’s touch. “You were sick and needed help and I don’t know if I could’ve even ...” She sniffled, “I don’t know if I could’ve even given you that help.” A desperate look befell the usually more stoic Chrysalis and Luna saw her heart in her piercing dreadful eyes. “How could I have been enough? You preferred to be dead over living with me! How can I ever be enough?!” Chrysalis let out a breath before a single sob escaped.
“I’m still here!” Luna said a little louder than Sunset was accustomed to. “You’re still here! We’ll be a happy family Chrys! Isn't that enough?”
“No thanks to me!” Chrysalis yelled. She got up from the sofa and threw her arms up in the air. She recoiled in pain from moving her broken arm. Through clenched teeth she continued. “I almost lost you, and I almost lost Sunset. What good am I, Luna? No good. That’s what!” Tears now marched steadily down her cheeks, sealing the finality of her statement.
Sunset meekly pinched and pulled Luna’s shirt to get their attention. “Luna? Chrys? Are you guys okay?” She asked with fear in her eyes.
Luna and Chrysalis both snapped away from their heated argument and focused on their little worry bug. Chrysalis wanted to speak up, to say something, anything. She could only frown. The tears wouldn’t stop.
“I’ll be fine,” Chrysalis cried. “I’ll be back in five. I just need some fresh air.” With a silent nod, Sunset and Luna remained to await her return.
Chrysalis paused on the doorstep and let out a quiet doubt, looking at her injured arm. “I wonder if I did the right thing today.” She put her other hand on it. “Swear to god. I do.” With a click, a lengthy silence began.
Luna glanced at the closed door and frowned. She shook her head and pushed her feelings to the side to focus on the stressed teen in front of her. Reaching over with her hand she stroked Sunset’s head and spoke in a motherly voice, “Hey baby girl, We’re okay. Chrys and I are fine, we just get like this sometimes.”
“Are you sure?” Sunset asked anxiously with wide eyes. She held her arms close to her chest. “It sounded a lot worse than just a spat Luna. I-I’ve never seen you two like this before. Or anyone, actually.”
“I have,” Luna sighed. “And we’re still here, still together, and still dealing with whatever comes our way.” She put her hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “So you can rest assured we’ll get through this too.”
“Okay. But you would tell me if you two weren’t okay, right?” Sunset gazed into Luna’s eyes with apprehension.
Luna pulled her in for an embrace and hushed her. It took all of her willpower not to break down in front of the girl. “Oh Sunset, come here. Don’t worry about us. Chrys and I haven't had the easiest relationship. We’ve both had our fair share of struggles in the past, and there’s times when things do get a little heated, but that never means that we've stopped loving each other.” She pulled away from the embrace with her hands still on each side of Sunset’s shoulders. She gave her a gentle smile. “We’ll be alright. So stop worrying, okay?” Luna swept some of Sunset’s hair away from her face and leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead. She put her hand atop of Sunset’s head and brought her forward again so that she could snuggled into her chest.
Moments later, Chrysalis returned in seemingly higher spirits. She plopped back down onto the couch next to Luna. Looking in awe at her girlfriend and Sunset snuggled up together.
“Aww, I had to miss you two cozying up like that,” she mock-pouted, “no fair!”
Sunset took in the refreshed Chrysalis with concern, and it did not go unnoticed. Luna on the other hand, looked as if she was used to this.
“Chrys are you feeling better?” Sunset asked.
Chrysalis nodded. “I'm fine, Sunset. I’m sorry for yelling. I just don’t like it when Luna blames herself for what happened, and it doesn’t help that she can be incredibly stubborn about it.”
Luna shot daggers directly towards her partner. “Hey! I’m not stubborn!” She pouted. She lifted her head up and turned away from Chrysalis in a huff.
Sunset shot up and gave Luna an amused look. “Uh, you so are Luna.”
Luna reached over to the coffee table and pretended to pick up the phone. She chuckled sarcastically. “Oh? Hello kettle, This is Sunset, you’re black.”
Sunset rolled her eyes at her and pulled a mock face. “At least I’m not as bad as you.”
Luna folded her arms and smirked. “Sunset. You would argue with someone that the sky is green and would be adamant that you’re right.”
“Pfft! No I wouldn’t.” Sunset waved her off and huffed. “And you honestly can’t say anything Luna. Do you remember the time you tried to convince me you didn’t eat the last fruit bar? We both clearly knew it was you, but someone was just too stubborn to admit to it.”
Luna groaned. “Not this again.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m not getting into another argument over a fruit bar.”
A snort came from Chrysalis, “You two can’t be serious right now. You had an argument over a fruit bar? A freaking fruit bar!”
Luna grunted. “She wouldn’t let it go for a week straight. Fruit bar that, fruit bar this.” She motioned her hands to each side.
“You know they’re my favorites and you took it!” Sunset pouted like a little kid and pointed at Luna.
“Did not.” Luna stuck her tongue playfully. Earning a glare from Sunset.
Chrysalis chuckled. “Luna, you ate it didn’t you?” She eyed up her girlfriend.
“No.” She tried her best not to break her serious gaze on Chrysalis but Chrysalis wasn’t falling for it.
A hand made its way up Luna’s side and she squealed in surprise. “C-Chrys, p-please don’t!” Luna leaped up and put out her hands like she was shooing her away.
With her good hand, Chrysalis grabbed her and pinned her down onto the sofa.
“Ah!” Luna screamed.
Chrysalis smirked and sat on top of her. Locking Luna in place with her legs at either side of her hips, she gave Sunset a look and nudged her head towards the captured Luna. “Get her Sunny!”
Luna tried to wriggle her way out of Chrys’ grip, even with one hand her girlfriend was still strong. “Sunset, don’t you dare or you’ll be grounded for the rest of your life!”
Sunset looked at Chrysalis. She bit the edge of her smile when she got the funny idea in her head, a vain attempt to keep her childish grin at bay before Luna could catch her next move. In a swift move, Sunset tackled Luna. “This is payback!”
A shirk escaped from Luna and she couldn’t control her laughter. “Hahaha - S-Sunset! If I-I told you - hahaha - I-I ate it, will you s-stop?”
Sunset gave Chrysalis another look. She put her finger on her chin in thought. “Hm. I think we should come to some sort of condition first. Don’t you think, Chrys?”
Chrysalis grinned at Sunset, her eyes full of mischief. “Ah, I always love putting Luna up to things that she can’t back out of.”
Luna’s laughter calmed down, though she was still in Chrysalis' grip. She looked at the duo nervously. “W-What condition?”
Sunset fluttered puppy eyes at her, “You have to buy me more fruit bars and this time you can’t eat them.”
“Oh! I want cupcakes too!” Chrysalis chipped in.
Luna quirked her eyebrow at Chrysalis before giving in. “Fine. Deal.” She huffed and blew a strand of hair away from her face.
Chrysalis and Sunset high-fived each other before Chrysalis released Luna, and helped her up. She fixed herself then turned to Chrysalis and exchanged a sly look, Sunset caught the look, backing away slowly when Luna came closer. Before Sunset could escape Luna grabbed her into her grip.
“Think you’re going to get away with tickling me? Huh? Do ya?” Luna said in a playful tone and started poking at Sunset’s side. “Do ya? Do ya?”
Sunset let out a high-pitched childish squeal. “Ahh! L-Luna! N-no!” She giggled. She tried to worm her way out of Luna’s grasp, but Luna had the teen lifted in the air. “C-Chrys help!” She screeched.
Chrysalis beamed brightly at the warm scene in front of her. Pure joyous laughter coming from two people she loved the most. It was moments like these that made her heart burst, and she felt all fuzziness inside. It felt wholesome. It felt like… a family.
The three were lounged up on the sofa after the battle had ended. Luna had brought in some snacks and soda for them all. Chrysalis was snuggled up with Luna watching tv, Sunset sat at Luna’s other side. The flamed haired girl tried her best to focus on the flashy screen in front of her, but failed. It seemed like her curiosity took over her and her mind was still fresh of the news Luna had shared.
Luna's eyes scanned over to her charge. She noticed that Sunset’s brows furrowed and had her hand placed on her forehead like she was struggling to work something out. Luna bumped Chrysalis’ side, sharing a concerned look with her before turning to Sunset.
“Sunset?” Luna interrupted. Chrysalis muted the tv.
Sunset snapped her thoughts away and turned to face her. “Y-Yeah?” She croaked out.
Luna let out a light chuckle, “Wait a minute.” She put her thumb up and wetted it, then ran it across the right side of Sunset’s mouth, “You have some dip on your face.”
Sunset blinked in surprise, but didn’t object to Luna’s actions. Chrysalis also mentally noted down Luna’s action, but chose not to say anything.
All cleaned, Luna gave her a small smile. “There. Honestly Sunset, you wear your food more, than actually eating it.” She wiped her thumb along her trousers. “Are you okay? You seem a little bit lost.” She observed.
“I’m fine Luna.” Sunset wiped her mouth once more. She moved in her place and crossed her legs. “Can I ask you something though?”
Luna nodded. “Of course. Anything.”
Sunset twiddled nervously with her thumbs. “How did you? You know?” She gestured her hand out to Luna anxiously. “Try to end it all?”
The sapphire haired woman let out a deep sigh. “I had a feeling you were going to ask that.” Luna gave herself a moment and then spoke up again, “I’ll ask you this once, will you be able to handle me telling you this?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“Alright.” Luna nodded. She let out a hallowed breath, “To be honest, I think it was the depression that really made me do it. I was in a bad way Sunset. I couldn’t handle the thought of what I had done to my own sister. It haunted me, tortured me, and made me go insane. I-I was so exhausted. Night time was the worst for me, just as I laid my head down for some rest. That's when Tia would appear, and I would wake up in cold sweats. It was terrifying, some nights I refused to go to sleep. Chrysalis stayed up with me and kept me calm sometimes, but I forced her away. She had to spend so many nights facing away from me or sleeping on the couch and let me cry myself to sleep because I got so paranoid from not getting enough, and it just kept getting worse.”
Luna shifted herself in her seated position uncomfortably. She took another deep breath and out came a whimper. “Then one night things got too much for me. I knew I had enough. I gave up, and I stupidly decided it would be good for me to take some pills and end it all. Seems logical right? No feelings mattered to me anymore, and I didn’t think of how Chrysalis would feel or how she would suffer without me. It didn’t bother me. Nothing mattered more to me than the pills I was going to take.”
“That same night Chrysalis went to grab some food for us. She had no idea what I was about to do. I kept it a secret from her, obviously. I just wanted her to think I was fine for at least a few minutes. I wrote my letter to her. Poured my heart out and apologized for not being the girlfriend she deserved. She deserved so much more than what I could give her. I told her to live on without me, forget about me, and be happy. I only ever held her back.”
Both Chrysalis and Sunset watched Luna fight an inner battle with herself. She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to stubbornly hold back the hot tears that threatened to escape as she spoke, “When Chrys left. I grabbed the pills and went into our room. I sat the note aside, and just as I had swallowed the last of the pills, Chrys barged in and saved me.”
Sunset’s eyes widened, and her throat tightened. She turned to Chrysalis. “Wait… you saved Luna like you did you with me?” She asked, a tear trickled down her cheek.
Chrysalis nodded. She started chewing on her lower lip with her own tears filling up. “I did.”
Per Sunset’s request, and with Luna’s consent, Chrysalis recounted what happened that day.
I was just leaving to go out to the grocery store to treat ourselves to dinner since we had a little bit of money left. I had to make sure my girl ate. She’s been looking too skinny lately.
It was only a ten minutes walk to the store from our apartment. Luna decided she would stay in the apartment since she didn’t want to go out. I thought nothing of it. I was fine going by myself, and Luna seemed to be in a very good mood that evening so I felt at ease to leave her. Just as I was about to throw on my jacket, that’s when I heard my name being called.
“Chrys!” Came Luna’s sweet voice. She rushed over to the door, padding her feet over to me. She was wearing one of my old band t-shirts which looked like a dress on her more than anything. It was worn out and had holes in it but it was Luna's favorite. She loved to wear it to bed along with her pj bottoms. She always said it kept her cosy and safe.
“Whats up, hun?” I asked, startled. I was mid putting on my shoes when she smiled at me.
She held up my scarf that had managed to buy from a charity shop. It wasn’t too pricey. I had managed to get Luna one too. We both needed them, since it was winter and all.
“You forgot your scarf. I don’t want you freezing out there.” Luna wrapped it around me. She held onto it gently and pulled me in for a kiss on the lips, standing on her tiptoes.
I pulled away, and gave her a broad smile. “What would I do without you?”
Usually, Luna’s face would redden a little and she’d look away from me. Even after all these years of being together, everytime I complimented her she would get all embarrassed. It was cute as buttons. Tonight, she just quietly asked: “You’ll take care of yourself, won’t you?”
I nuzzled her face with my thumb. “Oh don’t be silly now. I’ll be fine all on my own.” Her question haunts me to this day. I should’ve caught us having different conversations right then and there.
Luna wrapped her arms around my waist. “Promise me you’ll be safe, please?” She said in her gentle soft tone. She hugged me closely. I could feel her quiet breathing against my chest in contentment. It was almost like she didn’t want to leave me.
I smirked at her and put my hand on her shoulder. “Lu, I’m only going out to the grocery store. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Luna sighed, she shuffled her feet a little. “I know. But, the weather is wild and it’s cold. So come home quickly and we can snuggle.” She said in an innocent voice, her long eyelashes fluttering at me. Those eyes were just too irresistible.
I grin at her. “I plan on snuggling you to death when I come back.” I boop her nose, she giggled slightly.
“I’d like that.” Luna looked away out towards the window. She wrapped herself up and shivered. “You better get going before it gets any worse.”
I nodded and gave her a kiss on the lips again before opening the door. Luna leaned against the door frame with her arms folded.
“Chrys? Before you go.” She interrupted me when I was on the other side. I stopped in my tracks and turned around.
“Yeah?” I answered.
Luna kept her eyes locked on me. “I love you.” I couldn’t read how she was feeling at that moment. Although, she was smiling at me and her eyes shone. It wasn’t until much later that I would realise Luna had very carefully chosen the very last words that we would ever exchange. Like it was her dying breath.
“I love you too, babe.” I placed a kiss on her forehead and then I made my way to the grocery store. Everytime I heard those three words from Luna’s beautiful soft lips, it made my heart flutter. I’d never grow tired of those words, it was like hearing them for the first time all over again.
I had no idea that was the turning point of my day. That it was about to turn for the worst, despite it feeling like the best day ever. Her love had filled me up and I didn’t even notice the bad weather. I had my little sunshine. That was enough for me. It always was and always will be.
I got back in enough time before the storm hit that night. It was already getting wild when I was walking back to the apartment. I was drenched head to toe by the time I got in and it didn’t help that the apartment was already freezing. Though, once I was dry I would be spending my evening snuggled up with Luna. At least then we both would be somewhat warm. Her warmth against my body was something that I always loved during these cold nights.
With every step I took, I could feel the sponginess in my feet as I entered our apartment. I locked the door behind me and realized I really needed to get new shoes. They were wrecked.
I dropped the bags to the floor and shivered. “Jeez, Luna. I’ll tell you something, it’s bad out there! And the bagger guy at the store said it’s only going to get worse.” I shouted. Half expecting Luna to come through and greet me. Although, she didn't, which was weird because usually she would. She’d always want to check the bags to see what I got.
Confused, I shouted for her. “Luna?!” I hung my jacket up to let it dry and placed my shoes by the door. I stepped into the living room a little further and called on her again. Still, there was no reply. So, I decided to walk down the hall. I checked the bathroom. Nope, she wasn’t there. I checked the kitchen and she wasn’t in there either.
There was only one place left where she could be and that was our bedroom. She might have gone for a nap. She’s not been getting much sleep lately.
I walked up to our bedroom. I found the door was shut. I gave it a little knock and opened it quietly. “Lu?” I called, stepping inside. I looked over and I could see Luna sitting on the edge of her side of our bed.
An uneasy feeling grew in the pit of my stomach when my eyes darted towards her. I noticed that she had something cupped in her hand and was holding a photograph in her other, staring intently at it. She didn’t even look up to acknowledge that I was in the room with her. She was too focused and I could hear her quietly sniffing which made me look on with concern.
I walked up closer and glanced over to the bedside table. My eyes glued to the empty pill bottle and the piece of paper that was folded with my name written on it. The blood drained from my face when I saw Luna reach out for the glass of water that was also placed there.
Suddenly, I wasn’t cold anymore. The anger erupted inside of me, and it only boiled more in my belly until it came out as hot as any dragon has ever flamed. My mouth ridged open and I screamed like I have never before, “LUNA WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
Luna's shoulders jumped up and she looked at me with startled eyes. The glass knocked out of her hand, and it shattered on the floor. Without a second thought, I pounced straight on top of her. The pills that were gripped in her hands flung up in the air and scattered across the room, along with the picture of her and Celestia when they were kids.
Luna let out an inarticulate scream as she fell back onto the bed. She banged her head against the frame, it must’ve not hurt since she still tried to struggle against me to get to the last of the pills. I grabbed her in with my arms not letting her loose, despite her trying to kick her way out of me. Only noises came from her and she refused to say anything to me.
“Open your mouth!” I screamed.
“Hmhm!” Her lips were tightly closed and she shook her head forcefully. The tears poured down like running water and her whole body trembled against mine.
“Now! Luna!” I yelled, yet she still kept her mouth shut and looked at me with a guilty expression on her face. “How many have you taken?”
Luna swallowed whatever bit of what she had in her mouth and spat out the rest. “It’s too late, Chrys,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry.” She glanced at the empty pill bottle nearby and tried to grab it. I lifted my hand up and slapped hers away.
“Fuck you it’s too late!” I yelled in anger and desperation. My fight to save her life would not end there, and it never will as long as I draw breath. “I’m sorry –” I grunted, straining against her “– my ass!”
I wrapped my body around her. Held her head, and with my other hand I opened her mouth. “Out!” I forced my fingers down her throat. If she had swallowed any pills after I left I had to make sure they were all out of her system. She spat out most of the pills and kept choking. With a gasp for breath, she spewed all over the floor.
After she had calmed down, I rubbed her back and held her hair away from her face in case she was sick again but nothing else came up. Instead, I decided to speak, “Luna, are you fucking insane? Do you realize how fucking stupid you were being?! You could have died!”
She wiped her mouth and then looked at me. She took a sharp deep breath. “And I would have if you would LET ME BE!” Luna yelled. ”Just fuck off, Chrysalis!” She seethed at me and tried to push me away.
My face was red with anger and hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying futility to hold back the tears. “Fuck off?” I spat, “Oh you have some nerve, you know that?! You selfish little bitch! Why would you do this to me? To us?!”
Luna looked up at me. Her body wracked with an onslaught of tears and sobs. She backed away in fear of me and spoke in a wheezy voice, “I’m sorry okay! I-I just I-can’t, I can’t take it anymore. I-I thought this was the only way!”
I pulled her in for a tight embrace. “Never. Promise me, you never try that again. If I lost you, I’d top myself too.”
I laid back on the bed with Luna laying on top of me. I stroked her hair, gave her kisses, and I cried along with her. She kept apologizing and eventually we passed out.
A solemn tear fell down Sunset’s left cheek. Though, her body looked still and calm in front of Chrysalis and Luna. Her mind was a tangled mess. She had to take in a breath, steadying her heartbeat so she didn’t break down into sobs. She wiped her tears away, and looked at the two broken women.
The couple looked up to Sunset with red and puffy eyes, if Luna moved any more closer to Chrysalis, she’d be sitting on her lap right now. She had her arm around her significant other’s waist, and her hand in Chrys’ own, allowing the upset woman to retain her composure.
Sunset shifted herself closer to her guardian, she draped her arms around Luna’s shoulder, and nestled her head into the nape of her neck. She reached out for Chrys, carefully she watched her broken arm and pulled her into the embrace. Though that didn’t bother the darker woman, she was happy to return it.
The three held each other closely for a moment, then Luna pulled away. “What was that for?” She asked with a sniff.
Sunset blushed shyly and looked away from Luna. “I didn’t know what else to say, and you two looked like you really needed a hug.”
Both Chrysalis and Luna’s hearts melted in complete awe at their little bundle of joy. Luna caressed Sunset’s cheek. Her lips lifted upwards, and her eyes twinkled at her little sun. “We did.”
Sunset returned the look. “I’m really glad you’re still here, Luna.” She looked over to Chrysalis. “And Chrys? Thank you for saving her.”
Chrysalis wiped at her face and gave Sunset a forced smile. “I’d do anything for the ones I love most. I’d take a bullet for you and Luna, Sunset.”
“Our hero.” Luna tried to lean forward and place a kiss on Chrys’ cheek but she jerked away.
“Am anything but a hero, Lu.” Chrysalis looked away sadly, “A failure? Yes. A hero? That’s laughable.” She let out a bitter chuckle.
“You aren’t a failure Chrys.” Luna frowned at her, it was unusual for Chrysalis to deny her affection like that.
As more tears surfaced to escape Chrysalis’ eyes. More thoughts whirled through her mind. She gave Luna a frustrated huff, “If I’m not a failure then tell me why; I almost lost the two people that are the closest to me? What have I ever done wrong to deserve that? Am I just not good enough? Is that it? There must be something out there, or someone out to get me that wants to try and take my loved ones from me. It’s like a cruel joke being played over and over again, and it just.” Chrysalis paused. “Hurts. That thought alone of ever losing either one of you is too much to bear, and you know what? Screw you for trying, both of you.” She said bitterly.
Sunset’s gaze fell to the floor awkwardly. Luna locked hers with Chrysalis, but Chrys refused to look at her. She put her hand underneath her chin and spoke softly, “Chrysalis. Oh, babe. Please, stop thinking like that. None of this is your fault. I promise you, you are so important in mine and Sunset’s life, and you never have to worry about us ever leaving you again. We’re here, Chrys. Right here.”
Chrysalis wasn’t entirely convinced by Luna’s comment, it seemed like her self doubt got the better off her, and she got lost in her own head. She gave a deep sigh and shook those feelings away. Afterall, she would rather keep the peace between her and Luna than to break out into another argument. “Lu, this isn’t about me or how I feel, what’s more important to me is that you and Sunset are happy and healthy. I’m just glad to be able to love you both the way I can now. The only thing is I wished that it was enough, but I don’t think I can give you the help you need, to be honest.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Sunset spoke up for the first time in a while. “But, you can’t help with appendicitis either, and that’s okay. You’re human, Chrys. You have your own feelings too. Maybe we just need to see a specialist.”
Luna placed her hand on Chrysalis’ lap. She met Chrys’ eyes with a caring and tendered look in her own. “I love you so much Chrysalis, please know that. And I’ll tell you one thing, we’ll do whatever it takes to get through this. We’ll make it up to you okay?”
There was so much emotion in Luna’s eyes when Chrys’ stared into them, so strong and so full of love. Those were the eyes of the person she had fallen in love with all those years ago, and Chrysalis felt like her heart could burst at any moment. She leaned forward and sealed Luna’s lips with a passionate kiss.
“Ick.” Came the teen’s voice in the background. Sunset covered her eyes, “Get a room, you two.” She teased. Though, she couldn’t help but grin at them. The atmosphere around her felt warm and safe unlike before.
After Luna and Chrysalis parted, they both chuckled teary.
Luna turned round to Sunset and yanked her forward. “Oh shut up and come here, you little goof.” She wrapped her arms around Sunset’s shoulders tightly. “You’re included in this too. I mean what I say, whatever happens, we’re going to get through this. Together. As a family.”
Sunset pulled herself away. She gaped into Luna’s eyes confusingly. “Family? What do you mean Luna?”
Chrysalis coughed and tapped Luna’s shoulder. She beaconed her closer and whispered into her ear, “I think you should tell her, Luna.”
Sunset frowned slightly. Her eyes followed between Luna and Chrysalis who were currently exchanging secret whispers to one another.
It was back and forth for a few seconds, then with a nod of approval Luna turned her attention to Sunset, and Chrysalis stood up. “I’ll leave you to it, Lu.” With that final comment, she made her way to the kitchen.
Sunset’s eyes stayed on Chrysalis until the kitchen door was closed. She turned to Luna with a puzzled look. “Um Luna? What was that?”
Luna couldn’t help but smirk at Sunset’s question. Though she didn’t answer straight away, instead she changed her position and sat on the edge of the coffee table. She grabbed the youngster's hands and fixed her eyes onto her. “Sunset, there’s something I have to ask of you. Something that’s very important, and would probably change the rest of our lives forever. It’s something I have discussed furtherly with Chrys, and we’re both happy with what could potentially be our future. However, before I ask you, there’s a few things I’d like to get off my chest first, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it is, Luna.”
Luna released her grip of Sunset’s hands and sat up straight. Her face full of determination. “Sunset, I’m not going to lie when I say this, I never had a desire to become a mother. I always felt like I would never be good enough to look after a kid. I mean, who would want me as their mom? They’d run a mile or end up in Tia’s care instead because they’ll like her better. I would be a lame excuse for a mother but Tia? She would’ve been the perfect mother if it wasn’t for me…”
Sunset tilted her head. “Wasn’t for you? What do you mean?”
Luna’s brows became crinkled and her shoulders became tense. She let out a deep sigh, “Celestia can no longer conceive a child because of me.”
A feeling of dread clouded over Luna, her little girl looked back at her with disgust. A look she had never experienced from Sunset before, and it made her stomach do back flips.
Sunset flinched and crossed her arms. “I take it this has something to do with the accident?”
Luna winced and felt a pain in her chest at the coldness of Sunset’s tone. She looked down to her feet, “It was no accident, sadly. When Tia got rushed to hospital she had to go through emergency surgery. Her internal organs were badly damaged from the impact of me knocking her over. They found out that she had a bleeding in the abdominal area that led down to her womb which collapsed. When she was stable, the doctors told us that she could no longer carry a child.”
“...Poor Celestia.” Sunset quietly whispered. “That must’ve hurt her more than the accident.”
Luna nodded. “Tia was crushed over it, and she blamed me. I don’t hold that against her though.” She said, letting a few shed tears fall. “I blame myself too, if you blame me or hate me for it, go ahead. I deserve it.”
“Well, at least you know you’re at fault.” Sunset paused and her face softened. “I don’t hate you for it, Luna. That’s something I don’t think I could do to be honest, but it is a lot to take in.”
Luna sighed. “It is. And I get it, what I did can never be undone. I haven’t forgiven myself for it, and I’ll never will. So, I don’t blame you for taking time to let it sink in.”
An uncomfortable silence washed over them, Luna gave Sunset some time to think. The troubled Vice Principal was only met with brief and confused glances. Then finally, Sunset spoke up, “I don’t understand, why are you telling me this Luna?”
“I wanted you to know the real me before everything is out in the open.” Luna replied. She cleared her throat, “You have a right to know this.”
“But why? What’s all of this got to do with you not wanting to be a mom?” Sunset pressed on.
Luna’s nervousness increased, and sweat trickled down the palms of her hands. To keep herself in control, she wiped them along her trousers. “It’s not that I don’t want to be a mom, Sunset… I mean at a time, the idea of having kids was crazy to me. After what happened with Tia, I lost all rights to become a mom myself - that’s what I thought anyway. I always told myself I didn’t deserve to have kids of my own or to share that loving bond with them, and it’s something that I had come to terms with.”
With a deep sigh, Luna continued, “To be honest, Chrys and I never really discussed it that much. I think both of us had a mutual feeling, we had other priorities, and neither of us were ready to be moms during our relationship back then. Plus we were young, but I still think that we avoided the conversation since both of us knew what happened with Tia. Maybe if that didn’t happen or if I didn’t get sick things could’ve been different. Who knows.” Luna shrugged.
Thoughts travelled through Luna’s mind, like a train going through a tunnel with no intention of stopping. She stared blankly at the lavender colored wall behind Sunset and wondered what her life would’ve been like if she took a different path.
The flamed hair girl picked up on Luna’s sudden quietness. She kept her gaze set on her and tapped her on the shoulder. “Um Luna? Are you okay?” She asked, startling the older woman.
The concern in Sunset’s tone rang in Luna’s ears like a loud alarm in the mornings. With a shake of the head, she gave Sunset a reassuring smile. “Sorry, I’m okay. I just got lost in my own thoughts, that’s all.”
Sunset didn’t want to push further than she already did, so she chose to stay quiet and let Luna continue.
“Anyway, as I was saying. The subject wasn’t talked about much when I was in my relationship with Chrys back then. But when I got my job as Vice Principal, I was a little older. You know, dealing with kids every day I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be a parent. Though, I had to remind myself I wasn’t allowed to have those thoughts and I kept pushing them away. It did take some time to accept that it was never in the cards for me. Then soon enough, I became satisfied with my life, maybe not fully happy, but healthy at least. So, the idea became so distant in a way, I just focused on myself and my career.”
“I knew from a young age; probably at your age that I was never going to have biological kids. I don’t think I’d have the courage for childbirth, even if I did want one when I was older. I know I wouldn’t go out my way to find a guy so I could have sex with them and they’ll give me a child. I mean, I do like girls so that’ll be a tad awkward.” She trailed off.
Sunset stuck her fingers in her earslopes, and her face became as red as a tomato. “Ack, Luna! Did you really need to mention that part?”
Luna‘s eyes widened at realization at what she just said and her face mimicked Sunset’s. “Heh, sorry. Too much information.” She scratched the back of her neck.
It was then a snicker came from the kitchen, followed by Chrysalis yelling, “Luna’s talking about NAUGHTY BODY PAAAAAARTS!”
Sunset covered her mouth with her hand and giggled, Luna face-palmed.
“Shut up Chrys!” Luna yelled back in annoyance.
“BOYYY PAAAARTSSS!” Came Chrysalis’ voice, doubling down on embarrassing her two companions.
“I mean it, Chrysalis!” Luna hissed.
Sunset’s laughter brought her to tears. Luna massaged her temples and glared at her. “Ignore her, Sunset. Sometimes, I wonder who’s more of a kid when it comes to you two.”
Sunset’s facial expression changed quickly when she heard the firmness in Luna’s tone, though she still smirked. “You mentioned it. Of course Chrys is going to act on it, you know what she’s like.”
Luna pursed her lip and stared up to the ceiling. “Yes, I know her better than anyone and she knows exactly how to wind me up. I don’t need you encouraging her.”
Sunset grunted. “How am I the one getting into trouble? I wasn’t the one screaming about body parts.” She folded her arms and huffed.
Luna pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sunset, please behave. I’m trying to tell you something meaningful here.” She said, then raised her voice at a cackling Chrysalis in the background, “and that includes you too Chrys, unless you want to sleep on the couch tonight with no snuggles either!”
“URGH! Nuts in the sack... I’ll shut up then!” Chrys groaned like a teenager from the other side of the door, followed by a chair being slammed.
Luna shook her head, “Thank god.” She mumbled. “Now. There’s a reason why I’m telling you this anyway, Sunset.”
“What’s all of this got to do with me though?” Sunset questioned. “Or do you just like to embarrass me?”
“I’ll admit it’s kinda funny seeing you like that.” Luna gave Sunset a smug look, Sunset wasn’t too amused at Luna’s comment. “But enough carry on.”
At that, Luna‘s playfulness had gone and she became more serious for the task ahead of her. Again, she grabbed Sunset’s hands and her spirits lifted her higher, giving Sunset the most motherly smile she had ever seen in her life. “Sunset, Before I took you in, my life was pretty boring. All I did was work, and play video games when I came home. I was alone in this apartment, and even though I had Tia, something else was missing. I wondered what was my purpose in life, then when you became such a big deal, I started to see life through the eyes of a parent.
“You’ve helped fulfill a void in my heart that I didn’t realize that I needed. Everyday I have something to look forward to, something to smile about. I have a reason to get up now, and start my day, because I have my family behind me, you, Chrysalis, Celestia. You three are the reasons why I want to be a better person, and you bring happiness into my life that I’ve never felt before. I still feel like I don’t deserve it, but I can’t lie and say nothing in my life has changed, because it has. I find myself worrying more and instead of putting myself first, I put you first. I want what’s best for you, Sunset. I really do. You deserve happiness in your life, not any of things you’ve gone through. It pains me that such an amazing young girl like you has had such struggles in life.” Luna paused for a moment in thought.
Every few seconds tears raced down Luna’s cheeks and she had to wipe them away. She didn’t realize how much she had been crying until her eyes had begun to get sore and tired. It was surprising to her that she had tears left.
On the other hand was Sunset, the amber teen could also feel the water creep out her eyes at the heartfelt words Luna spoke. Sunset listened closely to Luna, not wanting to interrupt her when she was speaking.
Luna tightened her grip around her hands and looked down to the floor.
She began to speak in a low voice. “I thought…” She sniffed. “I thought I lost you for good today, Sunset. My whole world flashed before my eyes and I thought you were gone, I literally don’t know what I would’ve done if Chrys wasn’t there to save you. We’re both so lucky that you’re still here with us, because neither one of us would be able to cope without you.
“You’ve become so important to Chrys and I, and honestly? There’s nothing in this very room that is more valuable to me than you are. Your life is special, Sunset. You don’t realize how wonderful and talented you are. I know in the past you’ve been a trouble maker, but you’ve turned yourself around, and that makes me so happy to be able to watch you grow. I’m so very proud of the young woman you’re becoming. Even if you might not think like that, but I am. I couldn’t be prouder in fact, and I know Chrys is too. We love you Sunset, so much.” Luna used her thumb to wipe at Sunset’s eyes.
Sunset analysed Luna’s eyes like she was looking for a lie, but found nothing. All she could find were the tears that brimmed in her eyes. Her eyes held so much warmth and love. “... You really think that much of me?” Sunset asked, her voice barely sounding audible.
Luna gave Sunset an affectionate laugh. “Of course I do, Sunset. I’ve cared about you since the moment you’ve step foot into this apartment, even before that I’ve always cared about you. Though, I’m not going to lie. There’s been times where I’ve wanted to put your head through a wall with that attitude of yours. And yeah, I know I get cranky if you don’t clean your room or if you don’t get up in time for school. But, through all of that you’re worth it all, because you’re my baby girl Sunset, and I wouldn’t change you for the world.” She gave Sunset a wide teary smile, “There’s just one final question I have to ask you.”
“W-what is it?” Sunset managed to stammer out through her tears. Though, her emotions were all over the place, her tone still sounded hopeful… almost curious as the anticipation built up inside her waiting for Luna to reveal her question.
“How would you feel if I were to adopt you?”
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This is an awesome chapter totally worth the wait
10214915
Thank you! I’m happy you’ve enjoyed it!
10214966
Of course 👍
hEeheheheeee YES!
ACK!!! The cliffhanger! Why the cliff hanger?!?
All joking aside. This is a great chapter. It was very emotional and the attention to detail was amazing as usual. I can't wait to see the next chapter and I look forward to Nightmare Moon and her legendary anger.
I also like how you knitted together of points of view from Chrysalis and Luna to form such a moving tale.
Awesome chapter. I just recently found this series, but have not regretted it for a second. This series has kept getting better and I'm eagerly awaiting each new entry.
Side note: I'm always willing to proofread/edit if you want it.
Beautiful chapter. It had me in tears a few times. Absolutely beautiful.
Nicely done well worth the wait looking forward to seeing Sunset response also hoping to see her calling Celestia Auntie Celly or Aunt Tia or Auntie Celestia.
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and thank you! I’m you’ve enjoyed it. I’m sure you will enjoy the next chapter when that one comes out too! I just need to get back into writing for that one again!
Heh, sorry. I couldn’t help it with the cliffhanger
10215132
Thank you! And I’ll keep your offer in mind I really appreciate when people other to help me, thanks again!
10215231
Aw! Thank you :)
10215310
Thank you!
this is so good, you've improved so much since the start. i love how you've written luna's character you have her strong on the outside and soft on the inside, and i can relate to that, the wanting to just let go cause it would be so much easier, it would stop the hurt, the numbness, the emptiness, everything, it would fix everything, you wouldn't be useless anymore, you wouldn't let every one around you down, you wouldn't accidentally hurt someone's feelings, you can't push everyone away, you won't have to listen to the people who are supposed to love you tear you down at every corner, you wouldn't be hurt by them, you won't forget the little things, it would all be so much easier if you just weren't around and no one new you had even been there. except people did notice and there would be a gap weather its an empty seat, or a gap in the heart, you don't just let go of your grief, your passing it on. it brings me a lot of emotions reading this story (a great feat on your part, its difficult to get me emotional so good job) and i hope to hear from you again soon.
And there's the cliffhanger.
Omfg my heart melted so much. And laughed so hard at Chrys mocking Luna in the kitchen. Something I'd do tbh.
Seriously though. Well worth the wait
Despite how long this was it was worth the wait, enjoyed it and can't wait to see what the next chapter has in store
Like everyone else commented in this chapter, the wait is worth it. This chapter improved greatly in the emotional department and the way the characters interact with it's other nicely done, the flashback of Chrysalis is done smoothly in its transition in my opinion. Can't wait for sunset reply and soon to be official family bonding... Ow and Celestia reaction on being called Auntie by sunset would be *smirk* shimmering for her.
A lot of crying in this chapter.
Really emotional indeed upon reading this.
Seeing human Luna going through all of that stuff such as depression and such makes me wonder if Princess Luna went through those issues as well(granted the writers did not touch enough on the inner issues Luna has honestly.)
Certainly did not expect about it turns out human Celestia can't have kids due to the incident.
Btw, was my previous comment pretty weird? Sorry about that..
10217019
Oh no! It wasn’t weird at all! You don’t need to apologise.
It does make me wonder to how exactly Princess Luna felt after what happened with NMM. And yeah, I do agree that we don’t see much with Princess Celestia talking about what happened with Princess Luna that much and how she actually feels. Even with Sunset, I still feel like there’s a lot of holes missing with their relationship. (We don’t really get much of a background on Sunset’s past either) I think Sunset and Luna definitely do have a lot of common, and one is there guilt with what they done. I wished that the writers had more interaction with Sunset and Princess Luna. It would’ve been nice to see a full conversation between the two of them.
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Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
10216127
It’s so nice to hear that the chapter was worth the wait! There was a lot of work put into it but I’m glad of the outcome. I thought the flashback was a good idea instead of having them tell the story, it’s like more of an in-sight for the readers to fully grasp on it. Some of the emotional stuff was so hard to write, I didn’t want to feel as though I was repeating a lot of it. I’m happy you’ve enjoyed :)
10217036
Honestly I feel like the actual issues that led to Nightmare Moon happening was not properly resolved.
Nor did it feel like they convey good enough about Princess Celestia was guilty about the whole incident(Like I said, her speech to Princess Luna after NMM's defeat and how she basically acted like Luna alone is at fault there really doesn't help Celestia's case).
While I like Princess Celestia(though I like Luna more), I just prefer seeing she gets called out on all of these issues(and other stuff) and things truly be resolved for Luna. The writers could have done much more.
What do you think about the Tantabus part too? Really if Luna managed to hide she was basically inflicting self-harm mentally to herself, imagine just how bad her issues were when its not restricted by the show's age rating. She would most likely even inflicting actual self-harm to herself(and most likely hide it via spells).
Heck, some fans even theorized she really does have depression. And the writers pretty much made it sound like she has split-personality disorder or something due to confirming that Nightmare Moon is essentially a split personality born from Luna basically bottling everything up rather than being some "symbiote"(The Nightmare Forces from the comics).
In fact, imagine how things would go if the human counterparts and Sunset found that bit out too about the Tantabus.
It was such a waste on how Celestia did not know that Luna was doing that.
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I do agree that the writers could’ve done more with Celestia and Luna. To be honest, the tantabus thing was heartbreaking, and they could’ve at least put Celestia in there to help her sister somehow. I wonder how Celestia would’ve felt if she heard about Luna harming herself with nightmares, I think that would hurt Celestia a lot especially if she wasn’t able to help with it. Maybe, Princess Luna did suffer with depression. It would make sense. She struggled a lot in the second season trying to adapt and be accepted, that could be something that would lead to falling into depression. There’s a lot of things that Princess Luna has dealt with, even like that in episode of ‘a royal problem’. We see one of Princess Luna’s dreams where her teeth fall out. Usually that could mean that she’s insecure and anxious about herself. I do like Celestia to, but I think Luna is more relatable of the two of them. But who knows, Celestia could’ve fell into a depression after banishing her own sister, and even Sunset running away. She’s drove two people that were close to her. ( I don’t know how close Sunset and Celestia were actually but I’ve always wondered if Sunset was more closer to Celestia than Twilight ever was.)
10217147
Princess Celestia might want to prepare herself for whats going to come.
She certainly needs a wake up call hard honestly.
I am pretty interested on how it might it all go if you are interested on that and such.
10217159
Oh, I definitely have stuff planned for that. I’ll tell you one thing, she’s in for quite the shock when she’s dealing with human Luna and Chrys. Even Principal Celestia will have a good few choices of words to say to her. The three of them won’t go easy on her when it comes to anything with Sunset. I think they’ll call her out on a lot of things.
10217195
Honestly I feel like bringing up more issues that Princess Celestia should be called out on and work out to fix.
Like 3 more things so far.
NEXT CHAPTER BUTTON!! WHERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER BUTTON!!!
I want more!!!
Anyway... Love it.
I wonder when the pony world will be informed..
Then again, Celestia is the only pony Sunset has known to have a counterpart.
Twilight came back because of Celestia's book that Sunset has. I wonder if Sunset has resentment against Twilight as well because book horse did 'replace' Sunset.
Only other choice is Pinkie...
Also how is the school dealing the incident, the students, the teachers, people saw.
Maybe Trixie will become a better person. I got the impression she was out to hurt Sunset but not overtly so. Having her see an actual attempt of jumping might give her a healthy dose of reality.
Gilda, not so much, unless the person actually died and even then.... kind of doubtful.
HuMane 5, therapies will be needed....
Anyway I am following with great interest.
10217924
Thank you! I have things planned for the next chapter with school etc. Celestia and Luna has put things in place (Luna doesn’t go easy let’s say that) I think students will have mixed reactions with what happened to Sunset, some will probs be angry but others take the news bad. (I’m planning on bringing a new character in who was “friends” with Sunset) Also there will be therapy sessions put in place for Sunset, obviously Chrys and Luna will be there to support her. She’ll also have the support from her friends and Celestia too.
Awesome chapter, so glad to see that it got released. Keep up the good work.
Just read the chapter, awesome work.
Just one problem.
WHY THE HAY DID YOU STOP IT RIGHT BEFORE SUNSET’S ANSWER?!?!?! CLIFFHANGER MUCH?!?!
Seriously though, this is perhaps the best AU Sunset story I’ve ever read. Keep up the awesome work.😊
10219124
Thank you! :)
10223570
I’m really glad you’ve enjoyed it! It’s so nice to hear how much people like this story I honestly didn’t think it would’ve done this well!
Sorry I like a good cliffhanger
10224119
I like a good cliffhanger too. You do a good job of keeping people on the edge of their seat, that’s for sure.😂👍🏻👌🏻
Wow, this is probably the only mom!EQG!Luna story I've seen, and if there are others I doubt they're as good as this one!
Can't wait for the next chapter.
10224288
I just can’t help myself 🤷🏼♀️ but don’t worry you’ll see Sunset’s reaction in the next one 😊
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Aww thank you! To be honest I wished there was more fics with Vice Principal Luna adopting Sunset on here. To me it makes sense, I know we don’t see much of the human counterparts past, but if Vice Principal Luna had a past that was similar to Princess Luna’s, I think she would’ve at least help Sunset in some way. The Principals must’ve right? Since they allowed her to stay at the school and all. As much as I love reading stories with Principal Celestia adopting Sunset, I don’t get why there isn’t more of Luna too, I know Celestia is the more motherly of the two of them so I get that, but I think Luna can be too and I think Luna could understand Sunset in a way that Celestia doesn’t.
Caught up.
I just found this fic and have been roped in from the start. I love the angst, I know I'm weird. You need to come back and finish it please.
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Thank you! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it. Also, don’t worry It’ll be finished, I plan on doing a sequel to it too.
okay big issue. there is no way Luna could cause that much damage with the car singe she was taking off and not at speed. seriously why do so many poeple make human Celestia sterile in some what. just let her have kids or the ability to for christ's sake.
Love the new art but it kills me that Sunny's eyes are green instead of teal. I'm sorry I'm picky art person 😂
The art is great but my only question is when can we expect a new chapter?
Hey if you need help with story ideas let me know we can bounce ideas off each other I'm kinda stuck on my story The Mane Seven Elements of Harmony if you haven't read it please do so and tell me what you think.
Thanks
Psinet
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Thank you so much for offering to do that! If you ever do have any ideas you can message me whenever. I always like hearing other people's ideas and if you like I can help with some ideas for your story too.
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well what do you have so far and did you read my fic?
Hm. i have to say, i'm liking this new cover.
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And she's a bit too orange
Oh, my God! I have been reading this fic for a day and I have to say that I love it! Please update soon.
Hope to see more soon.
...any Updates coming?