Chapter 18: Pain: Part 1 (Alternative Ending)
Luna’s POV: (finding Sunset)
Applejack had just come into my office at the start of lunch time. I was sitting at my desk catching up with some paper work although I couldn’t focus. I was a tad distracted. I was flirting with Chrysalis over the phone as we sent each other texts when we were both supposed to be working. Well, technically ’sexting’ is what teens call it nowadays, something that Sunset told me which made me feel old. At least I’m not as old as Tia though. I was mid texting Chrysalis when Applejack barged in and caught me laughing at my phone when Chrysalis sent a text about roleplay. She can be such a tease at times.
As I looked up I saw the puzzled look on Applejack’s obviously she is used to seeing me in my usual Vice-Principal persona so I tried to play it cool. Putting my phone away quickly, I sat straight up. I hoped that she wasn’t going to tell Sunset that she caught me laughing that would be too awkward for the both of us to talk about and I knew I wouldn’t get away with lying to her.
“Applejack?” I asked. A bit startled at the sudden presence of my door being opened.
“Vice Principal Luna, I’m sorry for barging in like this but it’s an emergency we need ya need ta help Sunset.” She said as panic and worry filled her voice. I shot straight up at the mention of Sunset’s name. I didn’t even give it a second thought. If it came to Sunset the girl that was going to become my daughter, nothing matters bar her.
Something didn’t sit well with me right as I could feel like something bad had happened and it must have been way worse than any times before when one of Sunset’s friends came to my office on her behalf. I had a feeling in my stomach that kept growing as I followed Applejack to the girls locker room. Why would Sunset be there? I wondered to myself.
When we arrived at the girls locker room I flinched as I heard Sunset screaming. I quickly ran in as I swung open the door. She was yelling at Rainbow Dash for something but Rainbow refused to give her it, whatever it was. As I walked in I stood behind Rainbow and cleared my throat which startled her and she dropped the small box. I looked at Sunset. I could see the tears streaming down her face. She didn’t even notice that I was there at first as she was too focused on the box.
We both watched the box drop to the floor and I knew her next move so I launched myself for it and picked it up. I looked inside and my heart stopped. I saw a tiny blade, a razor blade to be in fact. What concerned me the most is the fact that I saw the fresh blood on it. I felt sick to my stomach. I knew exactly what she did. My own daughter had been harming herself just like myself all those years ago.
Oh Sunset.
I looked at her as she looked up to me with fear in her eyes. Poor girl, she must be terrified of what I thought of her. If only you knew Sunset. I could feel myself starting to shake as I begged her to take off her jacket. I saw that there was a series of fresh cuts and old scars on her arm.
“How long Sunset?” I asked, my voice starting to break as I held her wrist. She refused to tell me. She couldn’t even look me in the eyes.
”HOW LONG.” I screamed at her. Although, I didn’t mean to get angry at her but I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t angry at her more like myself for being so stupid for not realising that this has been going on. Am I even ready to be a Mom? I should have recognised the signs.
“...It started after the Formal.” Sunset finally spoke up, although she was almost quiet as Fluttershy, still refusing to look me in the eyes. I couldn’t believe this. My heart was aching for her. I hated this. Not only did I know what she’s going through, but to see your own daughter go through something like this is heart-wrenching enough and a pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone to feel. I just wanted to cry. To scream out. I just felt awful.
A moment had passed us and It was then she suddenly launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist and sobbed into my chest. All I could do was hold her tightly. It’s all I wanted to do. I was terrified to let go of her incase she vanished there and there. I held my girl closely, not caring about my surroundings. As long as I got to hold her, nothing matters to me. Only her. I wasn’t even bothered that my shirt was getting wet with her tears and I didn’t even care that Applejack and Rainbow were in the room with us. Although, I had actually forgotten that they were there at a point until I heard my name being called.
“Uh, Vice Principal Luna?” Rainbow coughed, she spoke up in a flat and awkward tone.
I looked up at her, still holding Sunset in my grip. “Yes Rainbow Dash?” I said, I think she saw the pain in my eyes on what I was feeling right now.
“We’re going to leave you two alone now.” She said uncomfortably as she looked over to Applejack who looked just the same as her.
I nodded to her, “Thank you girls.” Was all I could manage to get out. I didn’t want to get rid of them or make them feel uncomfortable but I wanted to be alone with Sunset.
I just needed to hold her. I would stay here as long as she needed me to comfort her and as her mother I would be the one to pick her back up. That’s my job, and I was for sure as hell not going to leave her sight. I sat on the floor with my back up against the wall of the cubicle with Sunset at my side, stroking her hair. I just let her cry and cry until she had no more tears left to cry. The sobbing died down after awhile and I could hear her start to sniffle now. I lifted her chin to look at me.
“I’m gonna take you to my office and then we’ll head home okay?” I said softly. She nodded in response and I helped her get back up. I held her hands and I could feel how sweaty they felt and how much she was shaking. I saw the blood that ran down them too as I looked over her,.I better help her clean that off.
After Luna allowed Sunset to have a moment and sob into her chest. She picked the young girl up and helped her gather herself to her office. The halls were reasonably quiet, a few hung around their lockers. Luna tells them to go to the Cafeteria. Luna made sure that Sunset was closely by her and she wasn’t bothered if anyone saw her comforting her.
Entering the office, Luna sat Sunset down on the chair in front of the desk. Luna didn’t even speak a word to Sunset as she sat down at her desk. She picked up her phone and dialed Chrysalis’s number.
Luna tried her hardest not to break down in front of Sunset who sat in front her, completely frozen. She felt numb to the core. Scared of what Luna was going to do.
“Hey, Chrys. Look, I’m coming home with Sunset, something bad happened Chrys. I’ll explain everything when I see you. She’s with me and it’s not good. Yeah babe I know, I’ll see you in a bit. Love you, bye.” She said through the phone as Sunset watched her. She could tell Luna’s voice was shaky. Sunset was unsure what Chrysalis was saying through the other end, but she had a feeling that she would have been worried and could hear her shouting. After the phone call Luna sighed and Sunset looked up to her with teary eyes.
“A-are you disappointed with m-me?” She asked quietly, her voice stuttering.
Luna stood up and went over to her, moving the chair so she could bend down in front of her. “Why on earth would you think I’d be disappointed with you?” She asked softly, while nuzzling her face with her thumb, wiping Sunset’s eyes.
Sunset let a few tears fall and hung her head in shame. “B-because i l-lied to you.”
Luna could feel the pain in her heart at seeing how hurt the young girl in front of her looked, the only thing she could of done was pull her in for another hug. “I’m not disappointed with you Sunset. Yes, I might be a little upset at you because you felt like you had to do this instead of talking to me.”
Sunset was crying again. “I didn’t know what else to do. I-I wanted to feel something. I just feel numb all the time. It was the only thing I could do, the only thing that would make me feel better. I’m sorry.”
Luna tightened her grip around her. “You do not need to explain yourself right now. I’m gonna take you home and we are going to get you help. We can go home you can talk about it if you want too, or we can snuggle up on the sofa, whatever you wanna do. But, one thing is I am not leaving you alone right now.”
Sunset pulled away from the hug and looked at Luna. “I don’t want help...”
Luna paused. Confused at what Sunset was saying. “What?”
Sunset sighed heavily. “How can you help me? How can I get better? I’ve tried so hard to change but I’m still not getting accepted by people! Most of the students still hate me! They would rather see me dead than see me get better! I wouldn’t be surprised if someone is planning to kill me, knowing it would probably be Glida first! I’m sick of it! Day in day out! I can’t even breathe without someone trying to say something to me! So what’s the point? What’s the point in getting me better, the point in helping me! I’m a lost cause Luna! I don’t deserve to be helped!” She screamed with all the fire she had left in her, Luna jumped back, Sunset had struck a chord in her body and she was infuriated with her.
Although Luna was angry, she also felt concerned. It broke her heart to hear her soon to be daughter refusing her help. “How can you say that you don’t deserve to be helped? Of course you do! Sunset, I’m going to get you the help you need. We’re going to get you better. I want to see you get better! Do you think that I like to see you go through this? Do you realise how much this is killing me?” She said as she raised her voice at Sunset. She put her hand over her heart, she could feel it aching.
Sunset got up from the chair and pushed it back. “YOU CANNOT FIX SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY COMPLETELY BROKEN LUNA.” She lost her temper at her, causing Luna to become even more upset.
“YOU ARE NOT BROKEN SUNSET!.”
Sunset could feel her body temperature rising becoming more and more frustrated at Luna. “YES I AM. I AM MESS. I AM USELESS. A WASTE OF SPACE. I AM A COMPLETE BURDEN TO EVERYONE. I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. I DON’T WANT TO BE ME. I DESERVE TO DIE.”
Luna felt every word of pain that Sunset screamed at her. A knife wound straight to the heart. She so badly wanted to grab the girl into an embrace but yet her body was running off on anger at the words Sunset said about herself. She did not deserve to think like that about herself. Luna turned herself around from Sunset and looked at the window, tears started to fall down her face.
Sunset looked on at her, breathing heavily sucking in the air, she didn’t know where she got the energy to even scream at Luna like she did. This argument was way beyond different from the ones she had with Luna before. She knew she hurt her.
“Luna?” Sunset whispered to her guardian.
Luna shook her head. “I can’t look at you...” She sniffed as she put one of her hands up. “How can you...”
Sunset walked forward. “Luna. I-I.” She said nervously, struggling to even get words out. She had never seen Luna this upset before.
Luna turned back around. She breathed in and back out and then, “HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? HOW CAN YOU SAY DESERVE TO DIE? TO ME? DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD WANT YOU DEAD? NO, I DON’T I COULDN’T BARE THAT THOUGHT. SO HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME, HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU DESERVE THAT.” She breathed in and choked out, “DO YOU REALISE THAT I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CONTINUE ON WITHOUT YOU IF YOU WERE GONE.” She screamed as she looked away from Sunset again, closing her eyes.
Sunset curled her hands up into fists and screamed at the top of her lungs. “I DO DESERVE IT! I DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT THE STUDENTS HURT ME FOR. I DESERVE TO SUFFER. MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST KILL ME AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY. THEN EVERYONE CAN CONTINUE WITHOUT ME.”
Luna slammed her hands down on the table. “NO. STOP SAYING THAT. YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT. YOU NEED HELP SUNSET. YOU ARE NOT WELL AND YOU NEED TO GET BETTER. YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART RIGHT NOW, DO YOU EVEN REALISE THAT?” Luna shook her head. She was running out of energy to yell at Sunset any longer as her chest was burning. Her heart was aching, and her body felt drained. She couldn’t take this anymore.
Once Rainbow and Applejack left the lockers room, they met up with Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy in the Music Room, they filled them in about Sunset.
“I can’t believe she was harming herself.” Rarity said quietly, not usually like her normal self, she looked out of place and sat more slumped on the chair.
“Principal Celestia was right.” Pinkie Pie said, her voice sounding similar to her older sister's voice that mostly monotone.
“Wait? Principal Celestia knew?” Rainbow Dash asked, turning to Pinkie Pie.
“I overheard her talk to Vice Principal Luna yesterday when I was at work, she had a feeling about it and must have wanted to mention it to Miss Luna. I think she’ll be upset when she finds out it is true.” Pinkie Pie said as she sat top on the piano.
“Vice Principal Luna looked pretty upset when we left them. She actually looked crushed.” Rainbow Dash recalled as she was kicking her ball, she was using it as a distraction. The look of pain Luna was in was still fresh in Rainbow’s mind.
It was then all the girls stopped for a moment. They all sighed in sync as they felt bad for their friend who had to go through this, wishing they could help her in any way they could. As they were pulled away from their thoughts they could hear screaming coming down the hall. They all looked at each other confusingly and made their way out of the room to investigate.
As they walked down the hall they could hear the shouting coming from Vice Principal Luna’s office. It sounded like they were arguing.
”I DESERVE TO DIE.” Came Sunset’s voice from the other side of the door. Making the girls gasp as they heard her scream. All sharing a look of concern.
”HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT.” they heard Luna roar. They could quite clearly hear how hurt Luna sounded. And then they heard Luna roar like they have never before. “YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART.”
“Oh my. Vice Principal Luna sounds really upset.” Fluttershy said she felt the tears welling up in her eyes.
“This isn’t proper girls. We shouldn’t listen to this.” Rarity said shaking her head as she walked away from the door.
“We can’t go in and stop it can we?” Pinkie Pie asked, worried in case it got way worse than it already was.
“Darling, it’s a private matter between Luna and Sunset.” Rarity said, folding her arms.
“Principal Celestia can put a stop to it.” Rainbow offered.
Applejack nodded. “Right, Let’s go get her.” She said to Rainbow, dragging her friend along.
knock knock knock
“Come in.” Came Celestia’s voice.
Applejack and Rainbow let themselves in. They saw that Principal Celestia was sitting at her desk, eating her lunch.
“Girls? What can I do for you?” She asked, confused as to why Applejack and Rainbow Dash were at her office during lunch. They usually spent it with their other friends including Sunset.
“Sunset and Vice Principal Luna are arguing in her office and it’s pretty bad. I think we need you to put a stop to it.” Rainbow Dash said.
Celestia tilted her head. “Arguing? I’m sure it’s nothing that Vice Principal Luna can’t handle.”
“No Principal Celestia you don’t understand. Vice Principal Luna just found out that Sunset has been harming herself. Sunset is yelling at her. Sayin’ things like she deserves ta die.” Applejack told her.
Celestia’s face fell. She couldn’t believe it. She knew she talked to Luna about it but she didn’t think for one moment that it was true. She got up from her chair and made a run for it to her sister’s office.
When Celestia reached Luna’s office, she noticed that Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy were there listening to the conversation going on behind the door. They were still shouting, things being slammed. Celestia stood at the door ready to put her hand on the handle when the door opened to reveal Sunset clearly unaware who was there in front of her. Tears were streaming down her face, her face red with anger. She pushed past Celestia and the other girls and made a run for it.
“Sunset! Come back here!” Came Luna’s voice. It sounded brittle, broken and sore from all of the screaming.
Celestia stepped inside of the office and closed the door behind her. She noticed how upset her sister looked. Her eyes were red, her hair was a mess and she could tell that her sister was far from okay.
“Luna?” Celestia asked, looking overly worried about her younger sister.
“We need to get to Sunset now.” Luna said, attempting to walk past her sister but instead Celestia put a hand between them. “The girls are already running after her.”
Instead of arguing with her elder sister, Luna started to break down again.
“I need her... I need my girl Tia.” She sobbed out, Celestia pulled her sister in for a hug.
“Oh, Lulu. Come here. I know you do. I know you need her and we’re going to get her back to you. She just needs some time to cool off but the girls are going to get her and bring her back right here.” Celestia said soothingly. She wanted to cry for the pain that her sister was feeling right now, for what Sunset is going through. But the two of them did not deserve any of it.
Luna just sobbed. She was letting out everything she held in. Her heart was shattering into pieces. Her body was shaking while Celestia held her. “What happens if she tries to do something stupid Tia?” Luna whispered, almost afraid to even think like that.
Celestia lifted up her chin. “Hey. Nothing is going to happen to her. The girls are going to find her and bring her back to you. I am going to call Chrysalis and get her to come and pick you two up. You are not in a fit state to drive home.” She said, trying to be calm and be strong for Luna.
Although, she was feeling many emotions as well.
“How can she say stuff like that? That she deserves to die? Does she even realise how much pain she is causing me right now?” Luna asked quietly as she struggled to speak the words.
“Sunset get back here!” Was the last thing Sunset heard as she stormed out of Luna’s office.
She noticed that someone tall and feminine was standing in front of her but she didn’t care who it was, pushing them out of her way as she made a run for it to the roof of the school.
Pushing the door open, luckily it wasn’t locked, Sunset walked over slowly to the edge. Stepping onto the ledge she looked down to the ground below her. One jump. That was all it would take. Just one jump. And then it would be over. She would finally be at peace. Sunset kept looking down, tears falling from her face. She felt the cold wind blowing on her face as she started to shiver. The wind was chilly. Afterall, it was winter time.
The demon in the back of her mind entered. “Just jump Shimmer. Do it.” It said. Trying its best to persuade Sunset to finally jump.
“I can’t...” She whispered to herself.
The demon spoke again. “Yes you can. One jump that’s all it takes then it’s over.”
She looked down again and gulped. She could do it. Right now. End everything. All the pain, hurt, suffering. All of it will be gone. If she could just jump.
Sunset breathed in, she closed her eyes. Ready to make the last move.
“SUNSET DON’T MOVE!” Came Rainbow’s voice as she swung open the door to the rooftop.
Sunset was startled. She turned around to see Rainbow, Applejack and Pinkie Pie standing at the doorway.
“Sugarcube. Come back from the roof. It’s too dangerous. You’ll get hurt. Please come down. We need ta get ya ta Vice Principal Luna.” Applejack spoke softly.
“I’m not coming down...” Sunset whispered.
Pinkie walked forward. “Sunset whatever you think you are going to do. Don’t. It’s not the way. Please, just come back inside.”
Sunset turned herself fully around to them. “No! This is the way! Can’t you see? This way is better. You guys won’t have to deal with me anymore.”
It was then a dark SUV drove into the schools parking lot. Sunset recognised as Chrysalis’s car. Chrysalis parked up as fast as she could when she saw Sunset on the roof. Panic washed over her when she stepped out of the vehicle. Chrysalis ran towards the entrance of the school.
“SUNSET SHIMMER, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?!” Chrysalis yelled in panic from the bottom, looking up in complete worry. Sunset’s eyes widened. She's never heard Chrysalis yell at her before. She sounded terrifying.
“I’m gonna do it...” She said as she sucked in the air, nodding to herself.
“SUNSET NO!!” Shouted Rainbow Dash.
“Sunset you aren’t thinking straight. Please! Just come down!” Pinkie Pie said.
“Why should I? Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t just end it all! Huh?” She scoffed as she turned around. Chrysalis was still standing at the bottom watching her every move, who was on the phone. Probably to Luna.
“Because Sunset, you have people who care about you. Us, Luna, Celestia and Chrysalis. We all care. We don’t want you to do this. So can you please come down?” Pinkie begged her.
Chrysalis stood frozen looking up to Sunset. “SUNSET I AM WARNING YOU DON’T DO THIS.”
Sunset looked at Chrysalis and then back to her friends. She wanted to believe them. But, it was so hard to. Instead of jumping, she should come down. Go back to her friends, back to Luna. All she wanted was for Luna to hold her tightly. Sunset needed her, and she knew deep down that Luna cared about her. She was just scared to believe it and scared to let Luna help her.
She glanced at her friends, who had terrified looks on them, scared to make a move in case Sunset did fall. She then looked down to see Chrysalis with her hand over her chest, gripping herself tightly looking up and hoping that Sunset wasn’t going to jump. It was then, Celestia and Luna came rushing up.
“SUNSET!” Luna screaming, rushing forward to Sunset, “Please, don’t do this. Please. I can’t lose you...” She whispered.
“Take my hand.” Luna said as she reached out for her, walking forward. The cold wind blowing her hair back. Sunset looked at her, she could clearly tell how much Luna had been crying. Sunset looked at Luna’s hand, she so badly wanted to take in but she hesitated. She looked back at the ground where Chrysalis was looking up. Sunset gulped and turned back to Luna.
“Please Sunset. Take my hand and come down. Please, we can go home... together.” Luna begged.
Sunset shook her head at her. “I’m sorry.” She cried. Sunset closed her eyes and breathed in the cold air.
She stepped backwards.
Then. thud.
“No!.” Luna screamed with pain in her voice as she collapsed to the ground on her knees and cried out Sunset’s name as she watched her soon to be daughter fall off the building.
All the girls watched in shock. They all started to cry, even Celestia who ran forward towards her sister and pulled her in for an embrace.
“I CAUGHT HER!” A voice shouted from below.
Luna got up on her knees and walked forward. She saw that Chrysalis was laying on the ground with Sunset in her grip. She sighed in relief as she thanked the heavens above as Chrysalis saved their kid.
Luna looked down at them. “Chrys! Are you okay?” She asked worriedly as she watched her girlfriend struggle to pick Sunset up.
“I’m okay! I think I’ve broken my arm though. But that’s nothing to worry about, I’ll be fine.” She said to Luna.
“What about Sunset?” She asked.
“She’s alive! Although, she’s passed out I think from the shock.” Chrysalis shouted back up.
“We will be down in a second to help!” Luna called. She asked Sunset’s friends to go down and help get Sunset and Chrysalis to the Nurse’s office.
After that, the girls got Sunset and Chrysalis to the Nurse’s office. Red Heart confirmed that Chrysalis arm was indeed fractured and had to get to the hospital.
Luna offered to drive Chrys to the hospital but Chrys held up her good hand. “Lu, I can drive myself. Remember I came to the school in my car instead of the bike. You just need to get Sunset home. From the looks of it, she won’t be waking anytime soon.” Chrys said, looking at Sunset who laid on the bed.
Luna sighed. “You’re right. Go and get yourself to the hospital and I’ll let you know when we get home. Drive safe.”
With that, Luna and Chrys shared a hug before departing the Nurses office. Luna then picked up her soon to be daughter in her arms from the bed and told Celestia who also was there that she was heading home.
“Let me know when you get home Lu.” Celestia said.
Luna nodded.
Few minutes later, Luna strapped Sunset in the backseat of her car and hopped into her normal seat. Luna looked at the girl behind her. Her heart absolutely ached for her. Luna couldn’t be more grateful that Chrysalis was there at the right time to catch her, for both their sakes. Neither of them could imagine what life would be like without Sunset.
After a few moments of thinking and wiping tears from her eyes, Luna started the car and headed home where she knew Sunset would be safe.
“We’re going to get through this... together.” Luna said quietly as she drove home.
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Holy crap my heart this is so well done. I hurts my heart to see sunny suffering like this.
10077912
Keep your toxicity to yourself, thanks.
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What's funny is I thought to myself what would have happened if Sunset did jump and Chrys caught her.
10077939
Well, looking at your previous comment you did have a hand in this, giving our writer a flare of inspiration. By the way, chrysalis state is she gonna be staying with the two for weeks still she recovers, it will be a great excuse for luna to dot Chrys and for Chrys to keep an eye on sunset. I won't be surprised if Shimmer will on a fence on making this chapter as main or keeping it as a one-shot, because of you.
10077939
I'm not sure how to feel about this ending.I prefer the other ending really, but don't get me wrong.
This was very dramatic, and heart breaking, just feels so much darker and sadder.
If Hoops and his goons are caught saying Crap about Sunset or wishing she had died, I can see them get suspended, and have their parents informed on how they help to make a girl try to kill herself.
That last part be the biggest punishment, their parents reactions, sure they be screaming at their kids asking are they sick in the head or maybe they should be taken out and transferred to a military school.
10077956
Hm, I can't tell if you meant that in a negative connotation or not. My previous comment was: "
"
But whatever the author ends up doing is their choice.
10077963
I will be honest and say that the first ending was good enough and more logical. But once again, whatever the author chooses to do is their choice. It's their story after all.
10077964
Oops, it was sadistic who give that idea, I guess I'm a bit sleep-deprived and now is affecting my cognitive. Sorry for the inconvenience...and it was to be a compliment if your wondering but word still stand.
10077977
Hey folks!
I already knew some of the reactions would be a mix. I've had to change my own story like that before.
When I read the original Chapter 18 P1, I honestly thought that there was so much potential to make a slight change. The stories plot is basically going to stay the same I'm sure. However, by Sunset actually jumping off the ledge, it opens more opportunities for character development between Sunset, Chrys and Luna.
I think Luna is also hiding something too. And with now Sunset nearly succeeding in suicide, Luna will share that part of her past. Explaining to Sunset that she too hasn't been fully honest with her.
This small change would benefit the author to have more ideas to use to develop the story. Sometimes you have to make changes to tap into that potential. But he needs y'all's support to do so.
I'd think from here, it's gonna get better.
My god. Thank celestia chrysalis was there
I’m working on my own fall formal aftermath. It does contain not one but two dark moments. But Rainbow dash has a very bad reaction. It gets bad enough that rainbow actually slaps sunset hard.
This ending actually felt more powerful. It showed that Chrysalis is truly willing to do anything for Sunset, and it showed just how much Luna cares for Sunset. Even though Luna's love for Sunset has been proven over and over again, this showed just how much it would hurt her if Sunset was indeed gone.
I honestly like this chapter more than the original. The potential for not just Sunset but everyone to grow close is amazing. The bond between Luna and Sunset will grow with their shared experiences, Chrysalis and Celestia could start to develop a more active role is Sunset's life, and the girls would really start to see how much she's really hurting making them involve her more in their activities, not that they weren't before. The character growth of Sunset could be exponential. I can't wait to see what you do with this. I look forward to reading more.
10077936
Thank you for your comment!
The ending almost scared me but hank goodness sunset's ok thanks to chrysalis but still this chapter was a bit dark in my opinion
10077965
10077963
10079381
Hey guys, sorry I haven’t commented back to you all yet, I’m getting round to it though! I appreciate all your feedback but I’ve decided to stick with this chapter for the ending. I hope you guys aren’t too mad about it, I just feel like for future chapters it might work better and it will allow me to bring Sunset, Luna, Chrysalis closer together and bond more as a family. I think from here they will be getting a lot closer, I know it dark but trust me not all chapters are going to be like that. I hope you guys will still stick around for the next chapters! I do have a lot more planned.
10078495
10078478
Thank you guys for your comments and yeah that’s what I am planning to do from here is to bring everyone closer. I feel like it would work better and I do have ideas which bring them all closer. I will definitely be bringing the girls and Celestia in more but mainly the next few chapters are focused on Sunset, Luna and Chrysalis.
10078264
That’s awesome! I can’t wait to read it when it comes out, I do enjoy reading those stories the most! If you need any help or anything you can PM me, I know I’m not the best but if you’re stuck I’m always willing to help the best I can.
10081962
This story is too good to abandon. And I re read the chapter, it's starting to grow on me. Keep it up!
10082008
Thank you for your support!! :)
10081967
It will be a while before I even get to it. I have to wait for a computer to upload a Christmas story Equestria Girls Christmas Disaster. Everyone is enjoying the holiday but one. Can they truly recover from anon-a-miss or will it become the last holiday in Canterlot city?
Then there is a coop story called Anon-a-miss the last crusade books 1-4 with Author2017.
I’m also doing an equestria Girls miraculous ladybug crossovers and one where sunset becomes ladybug after the fall formal.
I’m even doing an akumitized Marinette story. And trying think on how to salvage two important fanfictions on fanfiction.net. Caught red handed and the jusenkyo fairy.
I hope to see the next chapter in a few days hopefully
"“I CAUGHT HER!” A voice shouted from below."
What in the name of Blessed Cheese!? Chrysalis is such a fucking BEAST!!!
YOU MADE ME CRY!
So, Just out of curiosity, when will the next chapter be out? Because you have me on the edge of my seat and I am dying to know what happens next.
10097470
Hopefully will be out tomorrow or Monday!
10097569
Alright.
10097632
Sorry for the delay but it’s defo going to be out soon! I think you will like this chapter a lot does happen!
This is a top tier post-fall formal fic in my book, what issues I had where small or far and few between but nothing that isn't fixed naturally over time. This is easily going in my Rereads folder and by the time it's finished I'd say it going to end up in my Ultimate Favorites, I can't wait for more
10097735
No, I was never complaining, take as much time as you need.
10097745
Thank you so much! And i am definitely trying to improve on my grammar. This is the first time I’ve ever wrote a fic! I am really enjoying it and I’m glad that you like it too! Thanks for the feedback, i appreciate it :)
10097785
Oh no! I know you you weren’t! I do appreciate that you are wanting to see more. Thank you for your support!
10097829
No prob
this hurts