There's dragons in Equestria, everybody knows that. You know, those kinda peaceful, english speaking four-feeted clumsy dragons that most consider the most menacing thing of Equestria. There's more of them.
In the tallest spots of the Reaches are various deep caverns that very few stumbled upon, and those who did often ended up dead at the hands of the dovah; a strong breed of dragon long marked extinct by Princess Celestia herself.
That was fourty years ago. Nobody in the new generation knows of them.
They're back, and with them they bring the hunting season; a twenty year long cycle where they hunt for the most prized of meals, ponies.
Second person fanfic, uses dragon language of Skyrim. All MLP stuff belongs to Lauren Faust and the show dudes and all that Skyrim stuff belongs to Bethesda and the development team. Gore, maybe swearing. Description is extremely vague and will be updated later.
Well, Good start. can't really say much more as there isn't much to talk about other than it's original. I'll see the next chapter.
I'm familiar with Skyrim enough even though I've never played it. This has some awesome potential but this first chapter feels like just the tip of the iceberg. Tracking.
Relatively minor thing, but when introducing original characters, don't give so many details about them all at once. Try to spread out the details as the character keeps talking; it tends to make the text flow better.
Besides that and a few grammar and spelling mistakes, I like it.
"the cave that he slept on"
Most creatures sleep in a cave, not on it.
"weren't it for the googles"
Should be "Were it not for the goggles"
Also, the "thru" one that was mentioned above.
All in all, a decent start. I'll keep an eye on it, but make sure you keep up on the proper grammar.
This kid has a bad mouth.
If his fan fictions come out anything like his comments, I want no part of them.
69599
Woah, tough guy! Calling me kid and all. Very refined of you.
no, seriously, fuck off if you're going to be an ass about my somewhat cynicist comments.
Next chapter should be up in a hour or so...
A few minor spelling issues, but another good chapter. Can't wait to see this move on!
70193 I'm gonna try to get a prereader to help me out but so far I'm out of luck.
On other news I'm gonna try to force out a 2k+ chapter today.
70629
If you need a pre-reader, I'll be available for a while. Got nothing better to do over break, and should be around for more after that.
that way the dragon gets killed <-- Double space between the dragon
trayectory <-- ???
Alright well, pretty good in general. The only thing I really noticed were those two type-o's. But other than that really great story. One concern though, you have lots of detail but I don't think the story has enough plot to be honest. Kinda rushing things a bit. And also adding the RariJack thing...Eh...I would suggest it, doesn't really fit in with the story.
Just a small plot element. Also, a shout out to Eights from the ffiction IRC for helping me out with several mistakes in prologue and chapter 1
check them out again
Now Celestia will call upon the power of the dragonborn from skyrim and he/she will help the ponies defeat the dragons or something else will happen i guess because i have been really wanting a dragonborn in equestria story but i haven't gotten one yet
71552 umm, mister, will spike be like alduin that Luke be hilarious
so far its pretty good!
72884 *would damn this autocorrect to oblivion!
71647 I'm writing one as we speak
Cool, Celesitia is Dovahkiin, eh?
75592 Celestia is more like the Greybreads able to Thu'um by years of trains not like Dovankin who can learn a thu'um by asorbing dragon souls.
Sure sure you can use your fancy swords, shields and magic and wings...sure...or...you could use... THE WABAPPLEJACK! Pony pun
i wonder if Alduin had anything to do with the Dovahs return because in Skyrim when you kill Alduin you never actaully absord his sould and a dragon dosnt truely die till his soul is absorbed that means there is room for saying that mabey Alduin when killed was banished from the Elder Scrolls universe and ended up in the pony universe and then began raising the dovah from the dead as he did in the Elder Scrolls universe. Ive had this idea in my head for quite some time and it could be put into a story
77956 *jizz*
77956
uh
that's like
fuck this story is pointless now
hmm i have a lack of elder scrolls knowledge but i thought only dragonborn could use most of the words of power but im probably wrong as you probably know ALOT more about elder scrolls then me Mr. Author
78517 oh also
78762 No, anyone can learn any of the shouts, but its a lot easier for the dragonborn
79388 sooo does this make dash dragonborn or is she just really good at this
79388 but the fact that rainbow learned a shout by just reading a book is kinda unrealistic as most people that know shouts have trained for years to learn them so Celestia would probably know alot of the shouts because shes had thousands of years to learn them all but Rainbow wouldn't be able to learn them that quickly unless she is dragonborn and even if she is dragonborn she hasn't absorbed any dragon souls so she wouldn't be able to learn any shout until she killed a dragon
Well, that was rushed.
To learn a shout, you must know the words of power, which is simple enough.
Apart from that you need to actually understand the shout, which takes years of training and study, or simply absorbing the knowledge in the form of a Dragon Soul, but you can only absorb Dragon Souls if you are a Dovakhiin; Dragonborn.
Also:
RAINBOW SUE HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
81479 The dragon souls came out of the book.
This chapter was pretty good i cant wait for the next keep up the good work
84574
thx man. I'll update tomorrow because i'm gonna go 2 bed now.
HAH that silly dragonborn and his "wimpy little dragon shouts"! When I shout, people turn inside out, and I get the finest CHEESE in all of Nirn. Also, I can communicate with Stanley, that talking grapefruit from passwall! Oh Stanley, once a strapping young Nord, reduced to a simple fruit. Sometimes I give the Wabbajack to the weak, and see how it plays out
nice story so far keep it up
I do not want to know waht happened with rarity and applejack...
That's right! I'm talking to you two!
Shit's gettin' real!
No... Rainbow Dash... NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cries* I WILL KILL THAT FEMALE DOVAH FROM LAST CHAPTER! *transforms into crystalline guardian* PREPARE TO DIE!!!
No... Rainbow Dash... NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cries* I WILL KILL THAT FEMALE DOVAH FROM LAST CHAPTER! *transforms into crystalline guardian* PREPARE TO DIE!!!
*Fearanger's mind*
Sorry for double post. Stupid touch pad!
FAS RO DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am liking this so far... keep up the good work....
If only my level 51 warrior with daedric armor where there
Displeased about wait, want more.
105347
fag
105689
cool story bro.
107335
u r gehey
... spike is a ...she???... what did i miss....
85249 hey that there biznes
No, it's not only for you. It's so for me to
ಥ_ಥ......rainbow dash
I loved this chapter
HA HA Rarity and Applejack ;D did not expect that :D
107335 troll