• Published 23rd Oct 2019
  • 6,053 Views, 117 Comments

Letters From A Puzzled Princess - Eskerata



Princess Twilight is facing unexpected changes to her body. She can't seem to sleep. On top of all that, a strange pony seems to be terrified of her.

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Turn and face the strain.

Dear Princess Celestia;

I know it’s only been a week since you and your sister moved to Silver Shoals and you probably don’t want to be pestered, but a few strange things are happening to me.

First of all, I haven’t slept for a single minute in the past five days. By rights, I should be dead or hospitalized from sheer exhaustion. At first I thought it was just first-week-on-the-job jitters, but not even frazzled nerves could keep me up this long. Closing my eyes and counting sheep just makes me bored.

Second of all, my neck and legs are beginning to get a bit longer. Not by much, only about an inch. When I went out for a fly, I found myself catching the wind faster than I ever had. When I passed over a quiet lake, I looked down and realized that my wings had increased in size as well.

Is there something you forgot to mention to me?

Your student and eternal friend,

Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Twilight;

Don’t worry about bothering us. In the first few days of our arrival at our retirement home, ponies were asking us if we were hiding out from an impending disaster. I guess some citizens never read the news papers to catch up with current events.

As for what’s happening to you? Well, I was hoping (perhaps too optimistically) that you would somehow dodge the transformations that I and my sister had to endure when we first took our thrones.

What made me hope that? Well, you only grew a few inches after you got your wings, after all. I thought perhaps nothing else would change after you reached ruler status, but I’ve seem to have been proven wrong.

The sleep deprivation is also something I was hoping you could somehow dodge, since you never encountered sleep problems before. I have a theory as to why you can’t even nap, but I’ll have to consult Starswirl about this.

If you keep getting bigger after you get this letter, let me know. Just stay calm and carry on with your duties.

Your friend for eternity;

Celestia.

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Dear Celestia;

In the past three days, my neck has grown two inches and so have my legs! Sleep has become a distant memory to me. I’m not even tired, but I eat a lot more often. I can see why you have a cake-craving. I guess stretching out like a giraffe works up a sugar craving appetite. Ha ha.

Making the sun and moon rise on time is a snap, though. That’s about the only upside of not being able to snooze, apart from having all day and night to finish paperwork. Since I don’t even lie down on my bed anymore, I gave it to Spike. That poor dragon tried to keep up with my twenty-four hour schedule and he slept for twelve hours.

One big problem I have is that I have to keep taking pain medications due to my body growth. My joints and tendons hurt from the gained weight they now have to support. My neck sometimes feels like a nail is slowly pressing into it. I can’t sleep away the pain. That fact alone makes the days feel like years.

Do you have any answers?

Your friend for life;

Twilight

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Dear Twilight;

Starswirl has a theory as to what’s happening to you. Your body is growing in order to accommodate your new abilities that your new crown gave you. Merging Luna’s crown and mine created an object of power that could rival Grogar’s bewitching bell for sheer effectiveness. You never saw anypony but us handle our crowns, you know. Otherwise, we would have ponies turning into giant insane creatures that would make Pinkie’s temporary state of chaos godhood look like a runaway parade float.

Magic, he explained, is simply primal energy, a potential building block of reality. Think Discord’s ability to create living beings, but with more practical results. A larger body can safely house the immense amount of magic you now possess. Imagine your younger body being akin to an alarm clock battery. Your current body is now bearing a semblance to a city’s power plant.

Your subjects are getting used to your new looks, I hope. I suppose you’ll have to have Rarity built you a whole new wardrobe. (snicker)

As for your insomnia? I hate to say this, but I suspect that’s permanent. Even if you recruited Cadence to raise the moon, it wouldn’t change your body chemistry enough for you to sleep again.

So how did I raise the sun and the moon for a thousand years? With a strict regimen of carefully timed power naps and guards armed with alarm clocks. The first few months of that routine were the roughest to deal with. One can get used to any kind of daily regiment if they stick with it long enough, however. Just ask any athlete.

Please let me know how you’re dealing with any further changes your body will be making.

Your eternal friend;

Celestia

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Dear Celestia (and Luna, too! I miss you both!)

In the past week, my proportions have now reached a ninety percent semblance to your body. Even my blanket-sized mane is waving constantly even when there’s no wind. (I’m still not used to that.) Since my ears have enlarged, I’ve been hearing one or two guards refer to me as “Princess Pallet Swap”. (grumph)

Snide commentary aside, I’ve noticed that ponies who used to simply smile and wave at me are now bowing as if I was someone else. Some of the staff are on eggshells around me, as if I was going to start Twilighting and blasting the castle away if anypony says the wrong thing around me.

I figure the best way to assuage their fears is to keep acting my age and not my horseshoe size, I guess. They’ll calm down eventually. If I can handle not being able to sleep and having my body stretch out like the main attraction at a taffy pull, then anypony can.

At least I’m able to lay off the pain medication. I no longer feel like I’m a thousand years old. (No offense!)

Talk to you later. Your pal;

Twilight

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Celestia, I have a problem.

Something happened today that’s making me scratching my head. I thought that after two months of parading around in my new body and letting everycreature I talk to know that I’m the same Twilight Sparkle that they’ve always known, that I wouldn’t have any more public relations issues.

After lunch, I had my regular throne room meet-and-greets with those who needed to speak with me personally. Most of the time, I don’t have any issues. Today however, there was an elderly blue earth pony that started acting strange the minute he laid eyes on me.

Since our meeting started out on the wrong hoof, I smiled pleasantly and asked, “Is there something I can help you with?”

He kept glowering at me as if I just disowned him. Then he stomped on one hoof and demanded, “Who are you? Where are my beloved Princesses?”

Spike stepped up and said, “You must be new in town . . . what’s your name?”

“It’s Cold Snap. And I’m not talking to you.” He walked closer. My sensitive ears could hear his teeth grinding. “What have you done to Celestia and Luna?”

Trying desperately to cool this pony down, I bowed my head and said, “They retired of their own free will, sir. I’m Twilight Sparkle. Celestia chose me to rule Equestria and Luna agreed. “

“Liar!” he hollered.

When the guards charged into the throne room, I held them off with a wave. “Sir, I’m assuming that you haven’t been in Equestria for awhile. I can assure you that everypony around me will attest that I’m the Princess of Friendship.”

His heavy breathing slowed a little. “Not that it’s any of YOUR business, but I’ve been away for a decade.”

Spike asked, “Why come back after so long?”

“I wasn’t talking to you, dragon,” the last word dripping acid. “A landslide destroyed my house. Since my employers can’t get me another home, I wanted to ask the ones I love if they could help me.”

I brightened up. I had a chance to help him! “I can get you the home you need, Cold Snap.”

He growled and said, “I don’t want your help, kid! I want my beloved Celestia to help me!”

Spike whispered, “Beloved?”

Recalling my calming techniques, I pressed on. “That’s not possible, sir.”

His lower lip quivered as Cold Snap paced back and forth in front of me. “Why in Tartarus not? It seems like a lot of crap I thought would never happen just popped up! Ponyville used to having no one but ponies living in it. I had to dodge dragons and griffons just to get here! Who let those creatures get this close to us?”

“Sir, I just . . .”

“Can’t you at least get Luna to help me?”

My assistant held up his hands to Cold Snap, trying to calm him. “We told you, they both retired, sir. You’ll just have to . . . “

Stamping a hoof, the pony cried out, “None of this is supposed to happen! Why can’t anything ever be simple?”

Then he stared at me, shivering. At first I thought he was angry at me, but that’s not what I saw in his eyes. It was fear. Primal animal terror.

Before I or Spike could say anything else, Cold Snap turned and stormed away from us. Before he ducked through the doors, the pony looked back and fumed, “A thing of beauty is a joy forever, but I don’t know what you are!”

This pony seems to know you. Does his name ring any bells? Why was he talking about a thing of beauty?

Why was he so scared of me?

Your bewildered princess;

Twilight

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Dear Twilight;

I’m sorry you had to go through that. My sister and I know who Cold Snap is. For years we would see him in the front row seats waiting for us to raise the sun and moon. He would bow to us in the streets, even when I told him he didn’t need to. Sometimes he’d even cry tears of blissful joy when we were nearby. Both my sister and I have seen plenty of devoted fans over the centuries, but Cold Snap seemed especially emotional.

Ten years ago, he had to leave Ponyville to work for a mining company. This pony sent us both letters swearing that as soon as he could, he’d return to Canterlot.

It seems our new neighbors aren’t the only ponies who don’t read the papers, either. If Cold Snap had, things might have been more pleasant between you two.

You handled your physical changes and your new status with courage and patience. These qualities are what Cold Snap sadly seems to lack. As for what he meant by “a thing of beauty is a joy forever”? I have a theory about that.

He’s misinterpreted that saying to mean that just because he loves something, that it will last forever. We both know how foolish that notion is.

He wasn’t frightened of you, but of what you represent. The end of what he once found comfort in, but is now only in the past.

Cold Snap will hopefully find the moral courage to realize that nothing stays the same, not even for immortals such as us. Just give him time. Hopefully he’ll find his way again.

Your proud teacher and friend;

Celestia

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Dear Celestia;

It took a few weeks, but Cold Snap visited me in a more civil mood. He sighed and asked, “I’m sorry about the way I talked to you and your dragon friend. I just . . . needed to get used to, well, everything.”

“It’s all right, Cold Snap. I’m not mad at you. I still want to help you get another house, if you’d like.”

With the first cheerful smile I had seen from him, he replied, “That would be great. Thank you, Princess Twilight.” Rubbing the back of his head, Cold Snap asked, “Do you miss them, too?”

“Every day. Just like everyone else. I will, however, strive to be the best ruler I can be for you and every creature in Equestria.”

When he bowed to me, I told him, “You don’t need to do that, sir.”

Cold Snap groaned and said, “Just please let me do this, all right? Just this once?”

I smiled and nodded. We all have ways to adjust to change. If this pony can only take baby steps, then so be it. It’s better than sitting still.

Your faithful friend;

Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note:

Cold Snap's reactions to the new order were inspired by a disquieting event. As many of you know, the writing staff of MLP:FIM got a ton of hate mail when the finale hit the air.
As smart as a lot of bronies are, it seems that there are always going to be a few wingnuts that can't take any kind of change. (The ninnies that stopped watching the show simply because of Twilight's new wings come to mind.)
I shed a few tears when the finale aired, no lies. Writing this story helped get me through my grief.

Comments ( 116 )

Hi, great work! Keep it up!

Nice story, all in all. Thanks for putting it up. :twilightsmile:

Honestly, the hate mail about Grogar being Discord is 100% deserved. Not to the extent, I keep hearing about (something about death threats or was that something else).

But Hasbro failed miserably in episodes 24 and 25, and it has nothing to do with the stoning of the villains. That they got right.

9900076
Thanks very much!

9900080
Yeah, Jim Miller got temporarily chased off of Twitter (so I hear) by all the nut bars screeching at him concerning the finale. I'm passionate about the show, but I'm not flippin' psychotic.

Dang episode 24 and 25 just got spoiled for me.

Dan

Calling Cold Snap elderly AND a colt doesn't parse.

9900114
Oops. I'll have to fix that.

Pause #10 · Oct 23rd, 2019 · · 2 ·

9900080
Saying they deserved hate mail because a bunch of adults crying about a children's cartoon show doesn't go the way they want goes beyond passionate.

It's downright stupid.

9900131
No argument here.

9900080

and it has nothing to do with the stoning of the villains. That they got right.

-_-

9900131
Wait, Hasbro is receiving hate mail about the finale of MLP:FIM???

Is that true??

ANd if so, why?? I mean, in my opinion the finale and epilogue were wonderful, as do other bronies, like BLank Slate and BronyBurningAxe.

But, Each to their own I say.

9900164
I agree. I don't even have a problem with the twist at the beginning of the finale. I cried after the finale, but I was happy that the show ended on its own terms and not disintegrate into a babbling mess like some shows that don't know how to die.

9900164
…..I loved the finale as well, but have you been living under a rock? Or off the internet? No offense, its just....the shitstorm of negative reactions to it has been a bit of a tsunami. A few of people quit the fandom altogether.

9900175
Exactly!! I mean, I know not everyone was happy with the whole Discord pretending to be Grogar thing, but it was rather interesting to me. No one can be completely satisfied with everything that happened, but here's the thing...nothing's perfect. It would have been almost impossible for the writers to make a finale that would please everyone, but I think they did their best.

That's my opinion on the matter.

Also, I was bawling as well watching the finale, and still tear up hearing the final song even now.

9900190
Eh, I've been in the fandom since late season 5. And I don't look at MLP news too much, unless its about when the episodes are coming out or debates about characters or the new series.

9900190
(shrug) What can I say? There is just no pleasing some people. Every season of MLP has had cruddy episodes, but good ones, too. I simply ignore the junk and covet the good stuff. This is what a grown-up does. Some people, however, don't seem to adult very well and do dumb things like scream at show writers.

9900197
Yeah, I can't listen to the finale song just yet. I have a melted marshmallow for a heart, you see.:raritycry:(see marshmallow crying)

9900210
Yeah. I made the mistake of listening to it about an hour after watching the epilogue, and I lost it.

9900131
Maybe hate mail was overdoing it. But the hate itself I feel was deserved. More so for the fact that it was cheap cop out of Hasbro being to lazy to actually bring Grogar back fully.

If people do like, then more power to them. Just don't try and force it down my throat that it was perfect. The epilogue I do love.

Wondering how Cold Snap knew Luna when ten years ago she would still have been on the moon.

Still, amazing job, and a great read!

9900214
And that I perfectly understand. I have no problems with people being upset about something, but I do have a problem when they take things too far(in my opinion). And I don't try to force my opinion on others. I know not everyone liked the finale, that happens with every show or movie ever made.

Again, Each to their own I say.

9900214
The epilogue was great. I was afraid that the show was just going to do a quick and dirty five minute recap and bug out the door. Thankfully, they showed more class than that. One fact not many people know is that Hasbro decided that Season 9 was going to be the last season way back in mid 2017. This explains the high degree of polish in the animation and (most of) the story.

9900220
Errr....uhh...LOOK, A MONKEY! (smoke bomb) (jazz hands)

It's never made all that clear how much time passed in the nine seasons as far as the show characters can sense for themselves. I just picked ten years because it's a sort of okay guesstimate.

9900247
That's fair... I do that as well... :pinkiecrazy:

9900227
That explains a lot actually, and not all of it for the better. All of season 8, and most of 9, was a waste for me. Minus a few things.

Its always hard to take a series that you follow for so long and watch it end. The best thing to do is dont forget the times, and dont let what held you there hold you back from enjoying something new.

When I read 'colt' I thought he would be a child. It would be better to have'stallion' in the description, it would be less confusing. Good chapter though.

9900338
Nuts, I thought I fixed that, but it's been a busy night. I'm glad you like the story, though.:twilightsmile:

Update time; I fixed the smeg-up.

9900337
I do have other interests, but it's the show and the fandom itself that unlocked all the stories I've written over the years for this and other sites. I had never written this many stories before I joined this group a little over six years ago. Pony changed my life for the better. Many, MANY other folks can say the same.
I think that's why the finale for this show is the only finale that made me cry. Other shows have entertained me, but they never transformed me the way MLP has.
I just hope they don't blow it with Generation 5 of MLP.:twilightsheepish:

9900359
Im just worried that the next gen is going to be a legitimately good show but people are going to hard compare it to this gen and cry 'its not the same' or 'its too different' or there will be one or more similar characters and/or names reused and people will get upset. Heck i kniw how it can feel, ive been following ninja turtles since what...late 80s early 90s? And they have gone through so many rewrites and changes i was almost mad. But i looked at each one as its own thing and found much joy in several versions of them. So i dont know what im saying. Make new friends, keep the old? I need a wise sounding phrase....get me an old asian antiques seller asap! That will either get me the phrase im looking for or a plot to a movie.

9900496
Thanks for the compliment! Yeah, it's sad that the show ended, even though It was beginning to get a bit long in the tooth. It's always best to go out on a high note, however. Fingers crossed for Gen 5, though.

9900489
Hopefully Gen 5 will go over better than the gender-bent Ghostbusters movie. Hoo, boy, was that film a lead balloon. I plan to give Gen 5 plenty of chances to ring my bell. Remember, every season of MLP had good and bad episodes.
One saying that I held close to my heart while writing this story was something Neil Gaiman advised in a famous speech. I'm paraphrasing here, but he pretty much said, "When things go wrong, here's what you should do; make good art. It will get you through the bad times and the good." I wrote this story to help push me through the separation grief I felt from the show finale. My story seems to have struck a nerve with my audience, much to my delight.:twilightsmile:

9900513
I always feel this sense of loss when a series or a good book ends. Like...what do i do with my life nownfeeling

9900517
I hear you. I'm fifty-one and sometimes it's hard to remember the simplest lessons. Keep moving forward, one step at a time. Count your blessings and keep going. That's what works for me.

Taking second break at work and just realized I forgot to hit the like. Oops. :twilightblush:

Their were legitimate criticisms of parts of the finale. Wasn't Luna still on the moon ten years previously?

Also, to be fair to Cold Snap, many could have reasonably expected Celestia and Luna to continue to rule for centuries more.

A fair commentary on the actions of some in the community. To dislike something is not a license to disparage others.

The mlp staff got hate mail for their finale?
What the fuck for? It was as graceful a sendoff as one could have asked for!

Wanderer D
Moderator

9900985 Agreed, but there's always someone that's going to have problems with it.

9901015
From my experience they're more upset at what is implied by the.epilogue than what is actually in the epilogue itself. Whether or not those fears are legitimate or not (probably not) they definitely shouldn't receive hate mail.

Wanderer D
Moderator

9901060 Implied? As in... what? That Twilight will outlive her friends? I mean... if people didn't see that one coming from Season 2, they were either in denial or not paying attention. There's nothing wrong with that. Sad? Sure—a little—from an outside perspective, but literally everything from Ep1S1 has been pointing to Princess Twily taking over a kingdom, and once she became an alicorn—same as the princess who had been ruling steadily for over a thousand years—the die was cast.

Or are they upset that AppleDash is official? And Sparity isn't? I don't get it. Sure, I was annoyed with the Grogar is Discord thing, but really, did people expect the series to wrap up 4 supervillains (with one of them being a completely "new" one) in two episodes and do it justice?

I'm just saying, if people decided to write hatemail for that, the problem is not the show. It's them.

In fact, to the topic here, which is the fic itself—the author touches on that with a really good analogy. Change (and things ending) is not a thing people might like, but it doesn't mean it's bad.

9901074
Yeah it's the first thing you mentioned. The shipping didn't get much buzz as far as I see. Myself? I kinda think those six have a more positive outcome than that but it will always be an "I don't know" even according to the writers. Me I'm happy with an "I don't know", cause post canonical speculations are entirely on us. No need to fling hate about something we'll never know what happens, that's just childish.

9901087
Also Jim and the others are pretty chill people. Have had nothing but pleasant interactions with the writers. They don't deserve the hate they get.

The writers really got Hate Mail? What delusional obsessive morons some ‘fans’ are.

If people wanted different ending they could have made a petition of some kind to Hasbro for a rewrite with donations to pay for the studio, etc.
I'm sure with enough people not liking the finale episode or just wanting more ponies ,for some reason or another would pay.

As for my opinion on the finale and why I didn't like it (not hate it,I have dull feelings for last season):
I'm more pissed at that Discord didn't have any punishment.

Equivalent to what he did is breaking out maximum security murderers, gangsters from prison.
Just to make them attack a police academy to train that way students

I also hate hypocrisy in the show and Equestrian justice system

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