• Member Since 16th Jul, 2019
  • offline last seen Oct 30th, 2023

Howzdozit


How does one write stories? I have no idea.

E

This story is a sequel to Um


(This story is a very heavily revised version of Eh, Tomorrow.)

Sunset is bad at planning out her time. That's been established.

However, with enough time and help, bad habits can be broken, and Twilight decides to start her friend on the path to better time management.

Sunset still can't focus.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

I... I'm not quite sure how to respond to this... On one hand, being an editor, the narrative shifts, frequent scene breaks, and a few other things bother me. On the other, knowing that this is a self-insert, the rest of me is saying, "Yeah, that was definitely me at that age." (Both Twilight and Sunset)
Have an upvote.

Your fourth wall breaks have little to no punch, dear. You like doing it, yet you have yet learn what makes a good fourth wall break appealing. If you cannot write a good fourth wall break, then just write plainly, or only write the fourth wall breaks that are good. Meaningless and repetetive wallbreaks slow the pacing and distract the reader. That said, this video will surely help you do it

9947623
Yeah, I see what you mean with the shifts.

T'was sleep-deprived.

9947757
Heh, yeah. I'm not really a comedic genius, if you could't tell by the fact that this story is basically just a bunch of... words.

Thanks for the feedback!

...

Eh, I'll read it tomorrow.

Quick little update, I'm gonna be trying to rewrite this and make it less hectic, so look out for that. Of course, I'll do that once I actually get some sleep.

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