• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Mark Garg von Herbalist

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do and Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.


After Fluttershy coughs up a hairball, Starlight Glimmer gets a crash course in basic pegasus biology.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 20 )

Someone's feeling jelly. :rainbowlaugh:

Innuendos aside, this little bit of world-building actually does make a fair bit of sense for the pegasi. :twilightsmile:

Yet one more thing that Alicorn Twilight has to get used to.

"Spike! Come down off that bookcase right now! I'm not dying, and my guts are not on the floor! It's just a hairball! Oh, stop pretending to throw up and just... Oh, you're not pretending. I better go get a mop."

I expected it to get weird, but not that weird... That's my favorite kind of weird.

I am completely on board with the headcanon that Fluttershy's fur is on the long side.

I know horses technically have coats of hair and not fur, but "fur" serves as a quick-and-dirty connotative way to say "hair on the body that covers the body in a thick, solid sheet" without the gross connotation that comes with the term "body hair."

“Groom me. Now.”

Niiiiiiice.... lmao

Did Twilight instate Royal Groomers?

:duck: As for dragons their grooming is far superior . they burn the hairballs . . . And that tongue :twilightoops:
That tongue is long enough for Applejacks rope play, Oh the tricks he could do... :ajsmug::facehoof:
Or his claws, the brushing is something others only dream about :rainbowwild:
And his manors are well beyond Discords :flutterrage:
:duck: and a growing dragon needs his fun :pinkiehappy::twilightangry2:
:raritystarry: Oh dear I'm with foal....:rainbowderp::twilightoops::derpytongue2:
:moustache: Well you asked for it :twilightsmile: and you got it :raritywink: All from proper grooming

So many places I thought it was gonna end, and how it was gonna end, yet I wasn't dissatisfied with the final destination.

Does this mean that pegasi are cat birbs?

“What the hell do you lick?”


Need to pay more attention to not switching between tenses

“Yeah. Why can't you just take a bath like a normal pony?” asks Starlight.

"We live in clouds, Starlight."
"So can't you just use a raincloud or something?"
"Showers don't work well when your house can break apart if you leave the water running."

Headcanon not accepted, but that's still one heck of a hilarious mental image. Especially since, as 9897085 noted, Twilight presumably got tongue barbs and grooming instincts along with the wings. (And that's saying nothing of the earth pony instincts. Nopony in town knew why she was sleepwalking until Pinkie realized she was tracking leylines.)

Thank you for a lovely bit of bizarre pony biology.

Yup, winner and new head canon for me

Preening would be incredibly important in an avian-esque species like the Pegasi, and I'm pretty sure that IRL ponies do give tongue baths, although maybe not quite as intensely as shown here. Still a funny story all round.

Ponies don't actually lick themselves. They have their mate or parent nibble on their coats to clean off the bugs or remove dead hair; either that or they roll around in the mud, which leads to the eggs, bugs and dead hair getting caught, then falling off when the mud dries. But since this is magical horse land I decided to take some extreme liberties on the bird horse habits. :moustache:

Okay, thanks for the insight. I learned something today.:yay:

Starlight shakes her hoof. “Never mind what I lick. This is about filthy pegasi habits. Seriously, a bath with soap and water and conditioner and bubbles and little rubber duckies is more sanitary than a tongue bath.”

Especially the rubber duckies.
Without them it won't work

Besides, she really wants to hear her protege's opinion on giving Tempest a position at the school. Maybe a gym teacher? Or history professor? Or maybe even hall monitor?

If Tempest will be the hall monitor no one would dare to run above the speed limit...

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

Just wait till she hears pegasi actually lay eggs...


Just wait till she hears pegasi actually lay eggs...

Now that's a brilliant idea.:moustache:

Huh...I wonder if Twilight got the tongue as well when she got the wings. This is something that Celestia forgot to 'teach' her student all about, perhaps. :trollestia:

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