Anarchy: Pony of Chaos

by Ninjadeadbeard

10 - The Pony of Chaos, Part 3 - Cheesy Chess and Cozy Coronations

“Come on, Dashie!” Applejack raised her voice again, just to make sure it got through the washroom door, “We’re gonna be late fer the meetin’ on account of yer indigestion!”

Her wife’s voice came back, slightly muffled by the heavy wooden door, “I told you, I can’t eat like that anymore! I’m on the Wonderbolt diet, so it can’t… ulp, hang on…!”

A horrendous sound followed, which left Applejack feeling a touch queasy herself. She’d been prepping herself mentally to deal with that sort of feeling down the line, but even if Discord had… sped up the process, as he claimed, she wasn’t expecting to get sick so soon.

Not like poor Dash.

With the customary sound of flushing facilities, Rainbow Dash stepped out of the washroom, her eyes a little unfocused from the sudden stomach-related trauma she’d gone through. But as she saw Applejack’s slight frown of worry, a cocky grin found its way to her face.

“Heh, it’s probably just one of those… Sympathy Pregnancies… Fluttershy was talking about,” Rainbow laughed and placed a comforting hoof on her wife’s shoulder.

“I dunno, Dashie,” Applejack leaned in to get a better look at Rainbow, “I ain’t s’sposed ta get mornin’ sickness fer a few weeks yet…”

“Discord said he’d speed up the process,” Dash shrugged, “So who’s to say?”

“… an’ even then, why would’ja be havin’ that sort of reaction before me? I’m the one’s got a little passenger these days.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and gave Applejack another winning grin. “Look, babe…”

“I told ya never ta call me that…”

“It’s no big deal!” Dash quickly wrapped her up with one wing over the earth pony’s withers, and gave her a soft nuzzle. “I mean… I only had some salad yesterday, and apples today, so what exactly are you implying? That Discord put Zap in the wrong…?”

Applejack gave Dash a look she usually reserved for one of her slower-blooming trees, like Gregory, or Nathanial. It was a calculating look, the kind that could pierce any lie, deliberate or otherwise, and arrive at the truth of the matter in seconds.

“Ya know I don’t trust Discord sometimes… least of all when he’s bein’ helpful. An’ if he screwed somethin’ up, like… fer instance… which one o’ us was s’posed ta…”

Rainbow leaned in for another nuzzle, and said, “AJ… I got a great feeling about all this. It worked out with Ann, and Discord’s come a long way. I… can’t believe I’m saying this, but I trust his ability to do this sort of thing… Chaos Magic and all.”

She tossed her mane back, “That’s how Wonderbolts work. Even if we have odd or quirky personalities, it’s the skill that matters. And no one knows Chaos like Discord. Once Zap Apple gets here, it’ll all be worth it. Even if you have to take it easy for a while til then.”

Rainbow’d added that last part with a cheeky smirk. Applejack sighed, but nodded along. Dash had a point, after all, and it did nopony any good to go denying it.

That was what Applejack thought. Until she noticed the slight tinge of green in Rainbow Dash’s cheeks. Dash seemed to notice it as well, as within seconds she’d thrown herself back into the washroom, where another round of retching continued.

“So… did Spitfire ever tell ya’ll how she handled her maternity leave?” the farmpony shook in silent laughter at the whole situation. She’d probably cry a little later, but for now she remembered how her Granny always said to keep smiling through the pain.

In between retching coughs, Applejack could hear Dash clear as a bell.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna kill that Draconequus…!”

---

The city of Cloudsdale drifted through the skies above Manehattan almost entirely unseen amidst the heavy cloud cover. The City That Never Sleeps had won the raffle for First Snow of the Year, and the weather factories were in overdrive to get absolutely everything ready. One fun snow day months ahead of everypony else meant big tourism bits, and so everything had to be perfect.

Such was the need for perfection that the Admiralty Board had unanimously decided that the City’s Favorite Mare and Lead Weather Coordinator would get the job of guiding Manehattan’s Mayor, and the visiting Prime Minister of Equestria as well, on a tour of the Weather Factory as they prepared to complete the order and commence the festivities.

At least they waited until the Wonderbolt season was over, thought Spitfire, the former Captain of the Wonderbolts, mentally sighing in relief. At least now, while she was stuck here showing these bigwigs how the weather was made, Soarin could stay at home and watch their daughter.

Wildfire’s gettin’ a little old for a foalsitter anyway, she thought.

As the group entered the main factory, Spitfire nodded approvingly at her weatherponies, working hard to get everything ready while not looking like they’d just been goofing off and playing ping-pong with a folded table she knew they kept behind Vapor-Diffuser #12. It was always good to look like a hardflank manager when Brass came in.

And what Brass it was! There was, of course, Big Apple-Orange, Manehattan’s newly-elected Mayor (and distant relation to Applejack, if his campaign promoters were to be believed), who was dressed to the nines. The otherwise blonde coated and maned stallion was decked out in a bright-green suit and top hat combo that made him look like fresh money, in every sense of the word. He was pleased as punch to have won the First Snow for his hometown, and he showed it.

But the fact that the Prime Minister, Gem Tracker, was here as well as attending the ceremony later on was another thing entirely. Miss Tracker was a white unicorn with a ruby-red mane, and she was closely followed by her personal Secretary, Wooly Cloud, a blue pegasus stallion with a swept-back brown mane, and the Cabinet Secretary Honey Crisp Apple, who was crème-coated with a brown mane turning to grey.

Those Apples sure get around…

“And this,” Spitfire waved one hoof around her in a wide arc, “is where the magic happens!”

Ever since leaving the ‘Bolts to have Wildfire, Spitfire had learned to love her second career here in the Weather Factory. Her staff were like her teammates, or perhaps her far, far less adorable foals. And their precision and expertise, drilled into them by her personally, was on full display as they flew back and forth, adjusting instruments and combining the raw materials to get a good snow going on.

The Cabinet Secretary beamed at the sight of so many ponies working like a well-oiled machine… alongside actual well-oiled machines. It was probably like watching a perfectly synched Quadruple Split-Burst Maneuver was for Spitfire, whenever she could get away and watch a Wonderbolt show. A perfect blend of familiarity and skill that made you appreciate it even more. And for a Bureaupony, nothing would be more beautiful than a well-run office space carrying out its duty.

“Oh, wonderful!” Gem’s eyes lit up as well, “Isn’t this charming, Wooly?”

“Yes, Prime Minister,” the dutiful secretary nodded. “The Pegasi Pride of the Skies… not counting the Wonderbolts, naturally,” he added with a wink to Spitfire, who found herself appreciating the young stallion’s enthusiasm. Judging by the poster he had badly hidden under his wing, he was definitely angling for an autograph.

Spitfire would probably only grumble a little bit, before signing. Always give back to the fans, she remembered telling Rainbow Dash before handing over the Captaincy.

“Indeed…” Gem watched the weather machines buzz and whir, “I think it would be a marvelous backdrop for a photo! Give the papers tomorrow something to sink their teeth into.

“Imagine it!” she held out her hooves in an arc, as though she were holding one such newspaper out in front of her, “‘Gem says: Let it Snow!’ Or, ‘A New Era in Weather: PM Saves Equestria from Climate-Naturalist-Extremists…’”

By the way Wooly and Honey’s eyes twitched, Spitfire assumed they’d been through this sort of behavior before.

“PM, I couldn’t agree mohe,” Big Apple said in his odd, New Neighland accent that made every ‘r’ sound like a balloon deflating, “This spectaculah occasion should be shahed with the whole of Equestria.”

“Yes… well,” Spitfire growled out a cough that got their attention, though it was possibly just to see if she was choking. Soarin always gave her a hard time about her gravelly voice. Then again, he also said he liked her gravelly voice, so…

“As I was saying, this is where the magic happens! Right now, those machines on the left are…”

“Um, Miss Spitfire?” Wooly’s expression went from mildly annoyed at his boss’s ego, to a concerned glance up towards the middle of the room, “That pony doesn’t look to be wearing her safety gear.”

Spitfire frowned, “E-excuse me?”

Somepony… in my factory…?

“And…” his eyes flinched at her tone, but he pressed on, “She looks to be just a filly.”

“What!?”

Spitfire spun in place, her white safety coat whipping around her like a superhero cape for just a second. She turned a wrathful gaze up into the air where Mr. Cloud had been looking, and sure enough, there was some little filly hovering right there! Just above the Charge Distributors!

In my factory’s airspace!? Not on my watch…!

“S’cuse me,” she said politely to her tour, and launched herself with the practiced ease of a world-class flyer. It took less than a heartbeat for her to reach the floating filly, and even less to spin around towards her front.

Her scream stopped everything in the factory at once, “By Celestia’s Sunny Butt! What the heck are you doing here kid!? Don’t you know this place… is… dangerous…?”

The words died in her mouth. Something was wrong. The purple filly in front of her was so surreal looking that it took her a moment to realize she wasn’t looking at a fever dream. She was all purple, with a single white stripe through her mane. But… she wasn’t a pegasus. She was an earth pony, but one that could float up in the air.

Maybe it’s the propeller hat she’s wearing?

Said filly just turned her freaky, spiral eyes towards the former Wonderbolt… and smiled.

“’Sup?” she said, lifting her chin up slightly, “Name’s Screwball. How ‘bout you?”

Spitfire glanced to her left, and to her right, hoping that somepony would step up and explain what she was seeing right now. The whole factory was frozen, watching their boss chew out a little filly that should not exist.

Ah, crap, she thought, this is one of those freaky adventures Dash is always having, isn’t it?

The filly seemed to be waiting for a response.

“Hi,” said Spitfire, still not knowing what was going on, and dreading every second of it, “Can… can I help you?”

Screwball shook her head, and then pulled a hoofkerchief out from underneath her little green propeller hat.

“No,” she said, sadly, “And I’m real sorry about that…”

The purple pony of Chaos blew her nose hard into the kerchief, and the world tilted. Spitfire found herself slamming up against one of the water-tanks along the north wall. He wings splayed out, and it felt instantly like every inch of her body skyrocketed in weight. She couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything… except listen with her pegasus senses to the air pressure shift and her entire crew freak out at once.

The whole factory descended into Chaos. Ponies flew up, down, left, and right. Wherever they were, they were crashing into the walls and floor of the building, and instantly became stuck. Spitfire grit her teeth, but could only lift her head up a few inches.

“Hey, don’t strain yourself,” Screwball warned. She merrily floated along as if nothing was happening, despite Spitfire’s eyes telling her that something was definitely happening now.

“What… did you… do…?” she managed to speak slowly against the force pushing her back.

Screwball glanced out the window set high in the factory walls, drawing Spitfire’s attention. Clouds rushed past the windows, as did the Sun… several times, in fact.

“Again, sorry about this,” Screwball said, “But I need a good, old-fashioned stormy evening back at Canterlot. It’s getting to the climax, and a bright, sunny day isn’t cool enough for that sort of thing, you know?”

“What are you… talking about…?”

Screwball’s expression turned sour. With no small amount of snark, she asked, “You ever read a good book? An adventure story? Maybe some Daring Do?”

When Spitfire didn’t respond, the filly laughed and continued, “The hero always has to face the villain in a thunderstorm! It’s like… a rule or something. And since I gotta bow out of this universe in a couple minutes, this is the best thing I can do for them.”

She turned towards… something. To Spitfire, it just looked like the southern wall of the factory. But… something about the way Screwball stared off that way began to tickle the parts of Spitfire’s brain she especially didn’t like getting tickled…

“Well, folks,” Screwball sighed, and then smiled warmly, “This is it for me. I’m gonna sit the rest of this rollercoaster ride in the comments with you all. Scooch over a bit there, and pass the popcorn!”*

The force holding every pony to the wall suddenly relented, and the entire staff came crashing down to the ground in an exhausted heap. All except for Spitfire, who reflexively hurled herself through the air at the crazy filly who dared mess with her Weather!

But the former Wonderbolt sailed straight through Screwball, who parted like mist before her. And when Spitfire turned back around, she could see that the interloper had simply faded away.

“Ponyfeathers!” she cursed. A hot, burning anger spread up from Spitfire’s heart and into her face, but it wouldn’t get further than that. Spitfire wasn’t the kind of pony to let anger cloud her judgement. Right now, it was a whetstone for her focus.

“C’mon folks, get up!” she zipped down to her workers’ sides, swiftly checking vitals and shaking her teams awake. Looked like no one was seriously injured, so she kept yelling, “Gimme a status report! Where are we? What’s up with the systems!?”

Almost as soon as the city had stopped spinning, Spitfire knew something was wrong. Besides the fact that most of the tanks and bigger machines were smoking, the airpressure had completely changed. Every pegasus there could feel it, and she was far more sensitive still from her training.

Wooly Cloud managed to get up on his own, and after taking a moment to pop back outside, he came roaring back with a truly panicked expression on his face.

“Ma’am!” he cried out… and then bit his lip as he caught just a glimpse of Spitfire’s indescribable fury at being called that.

“Well? What is it?” she kept her cool well. Had to. Nopony else was.

“We…” he gulped heavily, “We appear to… I don’t know how, but we’ve been sent all the way back to Canterlot!”

Honey Crisp pinched her muzzle between her hooves, keeping a badly bloodied nose under control. “Oh… that can’t be good.”

“You better believe it’s not good!” Gem scowled, and then shook an angry hoof at the sky, “My Photo-Op is ruined! I bet the Foreign Secretary sent that… that hooligan to do this on purpose! There’s a leadership challenge in the works, and I’d bet good bits Green Zone had something to do with this…”

An explosion, somewhere in the next building over, sent a wave of storm clouds pouring past the windows and down onto the capital. Spitfire took a glance around the room to confirm what she now feared was the case. Their production line was currently FUBAR, to borrow Wonderbolt lingo, everything was on fire, and now whatever that… creature had wanted to happen to the weather, had just happened, with no chance to fix it for hours at the very least.

Cloudsdale was essentially dead in the water.

Spitfire allowed herself a weary sigh before she took charge of the rescue and recovery efforts.

“Yeah… this is definitely one of Rainbow Dash’s stupid adventures…”

---

Cozy Glow didn’t love chess. One would guess otherwise, considering her Cutie Mark was a bright red rook-piece, or tower, as she liked to tease other players of the game, like Tirek. She knew it bothered them. And that was part of the reason she didn’t love chess.

Cozy liked playing chess. But she liked playing Ponies better. It was a far more fun game to play, with higher stakes and better thrills.

And it was time to play again.

Alright, first move goes to Pink…

There were six of the little cretins, not including… Him. They stood in a small huddle only a few feet away, eyes fixed either on Cozy, or on the statue behind her. She gave a quick glance over her shoulder, if only to confirm for herself what was happening.

The Elements of Disharmony stood silently, as it always had… minus one pegasus filly. Tirek and Chrysalis remained exactly as they were.

And you guys’ll stay that way, she laughed inside her mind, finally free to have her own thoughts again. At least until I come up with a use for you…

“Oh,” she said in her sweetest, confused little filly voice, “Did I do that?”

The pink-maned… thing that looked vaguely like a pony gasped. She (Cozy assumed it was a she) grinned and began hopping up and down in place, making little yip sounds of joy. After a few moments, she swiveled about and took a good, hard look at her own flank.

---

Ann held that pose for a full minute. She shook her rump a little, just in case it hadn’t noticed her little brush with Destiny yet. She even wiped her hoof across the fur there, checking for yellow dust or grime that might have been hiding her mark.

But eventually, she had to bow to the inevitable and the obvious. “Phooey,” she sighed, “I… I was suwe that was going to wowk…”

“Why did you just assume something like that?” Flawless flashed an irritated sneer her way, “What possessed you to bring a statue to life?”

Ann shrugged, “Just had a thought. Chaos whispewing in my eaw.”

Cheese frowned, and seemed like he was in a little bit of pain as he admonished, “Ann, even I don’t listen to the voices that much. You gotta draw the line and use your head sometimes!”

“But…” Ann tapped her chin nervously. Chaos had said this would get her a Cutie Mark, hadn’t it? Why would Chaos lie about that?

“Maybe we can put her back?” Dib offered, equally unsure of the goings-on.

Moon shook his head, “She’s alive now. Seems… kinda mean to change her back to stone.”

At the thought, all six turned back towards the pink little filly.

---

The opening move can decide the game.

“Cozy Glow?” the green and blue crystal pony asked. She seemed relatively smart, or at least attentive. Best to watch her.

Cozy raised her eyebrows high, and gave a bewildered look to the other foals. “W-who? Is… is that my name?” She even held up one hoof towards herself, adding to image of an oblivious, regular pony.

She buzzed her little wings and drifted over to where the six children had huddled together in the wake of Ann’s magical mayhem. She wore a pleasant smile that complimented her brilliant, bright eyes well, and she made sure to exude as much cuteness as she could.

“Well, shucks! If that is my name, I better live up to it,” she grinned enthusiastically and held out a hoof to shake, “How is everypony today? I guess I’m Cozy Glow… what’s your names?”

“Evewycweatuwe,” the pony-like-thing reflexively corrected her, still staring at her handiwork. “I’m Anawchy, by the way.”

Cozy hesitated for a fraction of a second.

They’re still making that a thing? Geez, Princess, how pedantic can you get?

“Oh, silly me!” she slapped her forehead, “Uh, doy! Of course, everycreature! Sorry… my folks are really old-fashioned.” She threw on another winning smile, just to be safe.

“She’s so cute,” the griffon whispered, doing an amazing impression, Cozy thought, of that excitable griffon… Gabby…? Yeah, Gabby. She was clearly enthralled by the little filly, and lowered herself down to her belly to get an eye-level look at Cozy, “I just wanna squeeze her! My name’s Goldie.”

“Nice to meet you, Goldie…” Cozy noticed the batpony of the group take a few steps forward, putting himself just in between her and the others. She knew all about how sensitive those furry ears of theirs could be, and could even now seeing his twitch along with every word she said. He could probably hear her heartrate from there.

Huh… better keep to half-truths and lies of omission.

“Moon,” the batpony uttered, slightly baring his fangs. It didn’t take a tactical genius to guess he was suspicious.

She lowered herself, just enough to look like she was afraid. “G-gee, mister,” she said in a shaky whisper, “I know you can’t see me all too well, b-being a batpony…”

Even under sunglasses, Moon’s eye could be seen twitching.

“… but I’m just a wittle ole filly! I’m not a… a threat to anypony!”

“Moon!” the pony-thing… Anarchy, snarled, “That’s not being vewy fwiendly! She’s bawely a minute old!”

The batpony spun around, slightly shaking as he shouted, “Seriously!?”

Well, Cozy thought, looks like they’re about to have a little Friendship Problem… well, more like Friendship Meltdown... Best make good use of the distraction…

Her eyes briefly met “Discord”’s as she began looking about for the next move. There was something bothering her about him being there… but she couldn’t quite place it. If he was there, why hadn’t he warned anycreature… screw it, anypony about her? And if he was incognito, for what purpose?

Naturally, the idea that this was the real Grogar never entered into her thoughts. Instead, as she tossed hypothesis after hypothesis aside, Cozy could only really think of one reason Discord would come back here, apparently as some senior-citizen school volunteer, and lead a couple of magically-gifted foals to the three most powerful, and dangerous creatures in all of Equestria.

Has he… Has Discord gone back to Bad? She almost tossed the idea out on principle… until she considered who Discord hung out with the most. Of course! He’s finally realized how dull and boring old Professor Fluttershy is!

Cozy locked gazes with the ram… and winked. “Discord” sold it well, almost appearing baffled at her sign that she knew what was up.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered just low enough for the arguing foals to still mask her voice to all but her conspirator, “I’ll make some… Chaos happen, just you wait…”

---

Grogar began to have… misgivings about this plan. Ann was clearly still obsessed with this pony flank magic, and not in a state of mind to handle something like this… Cozy Glow. Still, as he watched the pink pegasus slip away, he couldn’t help but hope his little test would yet bear fruit.

He believed in Ann. She was, after all, his blood. That had to count for something.

Grogar, despite his misgivings, made sure to take a single step forward, just enough to casually block Cozy’s path of escape from view.

---

“I don’t get it,” Ann folded her forelegs across her barrel and furrowed her bushy white brows, “This isn’t even the cwaziest thing I’ve done…”

“Not the…” Flawless shook her head, “Ann, you brought back Cozy Glow.”

“A statue of Cozy Glow!” the Ponequus pointed a pinion accusatorily.

Flawless sneered, “I’m, like, ninety percent sure that’s actually Cozy Glow. She’s messing with us!”

Moon nodded, “Yeah, I can hear her heartbeat when she lies. That filly is a bundle of adrenaline and scheming right now…”

“Like you wouldn’t be if you just came to life?” Ann shot back.

Goldie winced as she stepped forward to ask, “Ann? Why is this so important? I mean… sure, we warned you not to do it… but even then, why are you so obsessed with this Cutie Mark thing? It’s not a big deal…”

“Not a big deal?” Ann’s jaw dropped. Then, her eyes flashed red, “Not a big DEAL!?”

A free-standing chalk-board burst into existence with the snap of Ann’s tail as she slammed it down in a fury. Right on the board was a slightly amateurish chalk sketch of the Vitruvian Mare, with a clear circle drawn around the image’s flank.

Nocreature seemed to notice the ‘Mare’ had a black coat, blue draconic eyes, and a hazy, starfield mane.

“Ponies!” Ann stood on her hind legs, dressed in long, black professorial robes and matching cap, and pointed to the picture with a ruler held quite skillfully by one wing ‘hand’.

“Ponies,” she repeated, taking a quick breath before continuing, creepily in a far more… Discord-like voice, “Equus Civilis Sapiens, are the most magical race in our world… and every single one of them… gets a Cutie Mark as both a sign of that inherent magical nature, and as a representational pictogram of their placement in the web of destiny.”

Dib’s jaw fully hit the floor. “Y-your lisp…”

“I need that Cutie Mawk!” Ann, voice returned to normal, gripped the chalk board with her forehooves and gave it a great heave, sending it careening into the sun up above. When she turned back to her friends, her outfit gone as well, they could see her eyes… they were warping, twisting, pulsing as she spoke in more and more hurried and agitated tones.

“If I don’t get a Cutie Mawk, then I’m not a Pony! If I’m not a Pony… then I don’t have a Destiny. And if I’m the only one hewe without a Destiny, how can I know we’ll always be fwiends!?”

Her voice began to distort, the sound pitching up, down, and… sideways…? It started getting hard to even listen to what she was saying. The only one of her friends not cringing as though she were tearing catclaws along another chalkboard was Cheese, and even he looked uneasy.

“How CaN 1 bE a CuTiE MaWk CrUsAdEr WiFf0uT oNe…!...?”

---

Grogar sighed, internally, and averted his eyes. He could not look upon his grandfoal as she was, caught within a blaze of confusion, anger, and madness.

He should feel proud of this. He was the Father of Monsters. Had he been able to drive his own Discord to this level of frothing fury long, long ago, then his reign could have been truly eternal. And now, he was witnessing Ann’s transformation into a true… monster…

Ah, he thought, It’s that, isn’t it?

All he’d wanted was a test. Something to pit Ann’s power and her skill against in a more primal way than the pathetic ponies of this land could offer her. But… this?

It wasn’t guilt he felt. Never guilt. Never, never. Not since Discord…

No guilt. Shame? Shame was a pony emotion, something to cow others into societal behavior the whole found acceptable. That was not Grogar’s way. But now, he could not help but realize his own folly.

Was helping Cozy a mistake?

He pondered this a moment. But knowing something in the mind, and knowing it in the heart are two very different realities.

No. Ann will persevere. She must. She will.

As Grogar raised his eyes again from his thoughts, he caught sight of something peculiar. Cheese Pie stood before his grandfoal, with a steadiness to his stance and a gleam in his eye that Grogar had not seen since…

He hadn’t seen such strength in a pony since Gusty…

---

Well… here it goes.

Cheese Slice Pie, son of Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich, Heir to the title of Premiere Party Planning Pony Prince(ss), and Grandmaster of the Ponyville Chapter of Foal-League Tiddlywink Players, took a long, deep… tired breath through his nose. He released it all with a snort, and began walking towards the maelstrom of madness and crazy that was his bestest friend in the whole entire world.

“Ann.” He said it with the slightest hint of disapproval, and a scowl that could put a Pinkie glare to shame.

The Ponequus swiveled her wrath-filled face towards the colt, her mane smoldering, seconds from full ignition. Her fury was contained only by the thinnest skein of her control, and yet it was slipping. She opened her mouth, ready to re-enter the shouting match with her…

A yellow hoof booped her nose.

“Boop.” Cheese said.

Ann’s eyes crossed. Her mouth snapped shut, and her whole body convulsed in something like a cross between a tickle and a light punch to her nervous system. Her tail and her ears stood straight up for a second before dropping flat.

“W-what…?” she shook her head, then came back up, blinking. “What was…?”

“Boop,” he did it again, and again, Ann flinched. This time, she held up her forehooves to block another one.

“What awe you doing!?”

“Boop.”

How did he get past my hooves!?

“Knock it off!!!” she shrieked as a fourth hoof got her.

Cheese stamped his own hooves on the dry grass, and now his own glare took center stage as he screamed back, “You knock it off!”

Everycreature took a step back, even Grogar. Ann dropped to her haunches, shocked at the sudden shift in her friend. She’d never seen Cheese this mad before!

“Cheese…” she began, but a yellow hoof came up in front of her face, forcing her to stay silent a moment longer as Cheese gathered his voice.

“Ann,” he breathed, “You are being a Bad Horse!”

“… What…?”

“This is ridiculous!” he threw his hooves up, forcing Dib and Goldie to take another step back, “Seriously? All this insanity is about your Cutie Mark!?”

“Y-yes…” Where is this coming from!?

“Well, then knock it off!” Cheese stomped his hooves again, “You’re not even on the Pinkie Scale of Freakouts at this point! I don’t even think the Twilight-Scale could contain the amount of bat-rat CRAZY you’re giving off!”

Ann’s lip quivered, and she began hunching down, anything to get out of the way of Cheese’s own freakout. She couldn’t see Flawless’s expression, but the Crystal Pony was also on the brink of tears listening to this.

“I mean, come on!” Cheese spun in place, “I don’t need this sort of garbage right now! I already have to practically take care of my own Mom back home, so excuse me if I don’t need you having an epic meltdown over this sort of thing.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like having Pinkie Pie for a Mom!?” his voice redoubled in volume, “I get ulcers… ulcers worrying about the next time she gets her mane caught in the industrial cake blender! I’m eleven! I’m not supposed to be the adult here!!!”

Cheese finally seemed to deflate, sagging down into himself. He closed his eyes… his beautiful, soft eyes… and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I…” his voice cracked, a single tear racing down his cheek, “Ann… I love you, but you really need to work on some things. Like problem-scaling. Like… can’t we just get in trouble for not doing homework sometime? Or… can we just worry about not getting the right kind of chocolate for s’mores?”

He looked back up, and took in the sight of his best friend in tears. Ann covered her face with her hooves, her whole body shaking in a sorrowful rhythm. Having Cheese… Cheese of all ponies getting this mad, and this…

He was right. All Ann had done today was blow everything out of proportion. Again. What good was it trying to get her Cutie Mark when the attempt could do this to her friends? What was she doing?

She paused in her sobbing, as the feeling of a hoof on her shoulder pulled her back to reality.

Ann looked back up into Chees’e eyes. He looked down into hers. From the way he seemed to frown and smile all at once, she wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling. But from the way her eyes glistened wet and raw, Cheese knew with certainty what she was feeling.

“I’m sorry.”

They’d both said it at the same time.

“Heh, sorry, you first.”

They’d said that at the same time too. Dib raised a chitinous eyebrow, and Moon tilted his head slowly to one side.

“That’s funny, but stop.”

Still, same time.

“Knock it off! Hey!” they both took a breath and recited as one, “Pinkie Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers that the party planner pony portioned partly to the ponies and the pretty parrots to partake…”

Flawless sighed, “What is this?”

Goldie tapped her claws nervously, “I… I’m not sure…”

“Help!” the synchronized foals turned back to the others, Panic welling in their eyes.

Goldie glanced towards the others, and finding no immediate help, she hummed and said, “What’s your favorite color?”

Both said, instantly, “Yellow!” and then stared, petrified at one another.

After Moon fwipped Goldie’s ear with his wing, the batpony said to Ann and Cheese, “How about this… who is standing right next to you?”

“Cheese!” said Ann.

“Cheese!” agreed Cheese.

Both stared at one another. Cheese, tapping his chin in thought, said, “Wait… hang on…”

But Ann would not ‘hang on’. Slowly, a grin began to split her face. And, with deliberate slowness, she brought up one hoof… and Booped Cheese right on the muzzle.

“Boop!” she said. Cheese just stared at the filly in front of him like she’d spun her head around like an owl’s and come back with a mustache.

And then the giggles began. Ann and Cheese rolled onto the ground laughing, and laughing, and laughing. They laughed so hard that in seconds their sides began to ache and tears poured freely from their eyes. Moon began to chuckle as well, and in moments, so too did Dib and Flawless. All the tension they’d held onto since this strange, strange moment had begun to flow out from them in a torrent of laughter.

Grogar watched on impassively, mouth set into a permanent sneer.

Goldie thought it was cute, and chuckled a bit as well.

Cheese finally caught his breath after several minutes, and managed to say, “No, really, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all that on you.”

“It’s…” Ann wiped a tear away, one earned through the far happier circumstance, “It’s fine… I was being dumb.”

She stood up, and pulled her friend up with her. She continued, “I guess I was just… so wowwied that you’d all outgwow me ow something.”

Flawless barked a little laugh, and said, “That is dumb! We’d have to stop hanging out with Shady, Dib, and Goldie if that were the rule.”

Goldie nodded… then frowned for a moment. “Hey…”

Cheese just smiled, and gave Ann a quick hug. That was a lot of emotion to go through so quickly, and they each needed such a tender moment. Just for a moment.

“You’ll never outgrow us,” Cheese said, patting his friend’s back, “We’ll always be together.”

Ann sighed, and squeezed tighter. “I know… I know. It’s just… I was so despewate to get my Destiny. And I weally thought Chaos was telling me something thewe about the statue…”

“Uh, Ann?” Cheese pulled out of the hug and gave her a quizzical smile, like he was asking her to realize what she’d just said before he had to point it out.

When she said nothing more, and only raised her own confused eyebrow, he added, “Isn’t Chaos the literal opposite thing from Destiny…?”

Ann opened her mouth to answer. Then she shut it. Then, her eye twitched. And then… her whole face started to short-circuit. Cheese took a step back, and marveled at the shifting emotional spectrum that played out on Ann’s face. She jumped from confused, to angry, to sorrow, to panic, and back.

She raised up a hoof, and seemed to be counting something with it. Her muzzle scrunched up, and her eyes narrowed. And then… instantly, her eyes popped wide open as her mouth drew itself into a thin line.

After a few moments, she lifted her head to the heavens and gave a cry drenched in utter irritation.

“Aaarrrgh!” she cried, stomping towards the Cozy-less statue on two legs, “Now you tell me!!!!”

Ann slammed her head into the base of the statue, as hard as she could manage, yet not nearly hard enough to punish her stupid brain for its stupid idea. And from that single, clean hit, a crack formed.

The thin crack leapt from where Ann had deposited her skull into the granite, just a few inches to the left, where it lightly crossed paths with the metal plate which read: Replica.

Said plate, held on by the thinnest of screws and the lightest of still-wet glue, popped right off.

Ann lifted her head just enough to stare with boggle-eyes at the far, far too new to be original plate lying on the ground.

So did everycreature else. Grogar was unfazed. Flawless, Goldie, and Dib let their jaws drop. Moon and Cheese’s eyes gave little twitches as their pupils dilated into mere dots.

“So…” Moon swallowed, loudly, “It… wasn’t a replica…”

Flawless whimpered, “No…”

Cheese slowly… so slowly he wondered if his neck was moving at all… slowly turned.

“Um… where… did Cozy Glow… go?”

Everycreature turned to where the evilest of all Equestria’s enemies had been standing, they were sure, moments ago. And they saw… nothing. Nothing but dry grass.

Goldie, suddenly having the very faintest notion of what must have happened, could only utter, in sheer, indescribable horror, “Oh… Shi…”

---

It was thematically appropriate then, as the Cutie Mark Crusaders gaped in horror at their miscalculation, that a bolt of lightning split the air like in some cheap drama. The huge bank of storm clouds, still a ways off but gathering steam, so to speak, was rolling in now. It was a wonder that nocreature had noticed Cloudsdales’ tilted, barreling approach until this point.

Several administrators and bureauponies in the palace noticed it now, however. And, dutifully, they instantly set about looking for someone else to blame for it.

---

“So,” Tirek hummed, “She’s gone.”

“It would seem that way,” Chrysalis couldn’t quite hide the emotion in her voice. A touch of anger, a hint of pride, and no small amount of envy.

“Do you think she’ll come back to help us?”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Would you?”

Tirek shrugged, at least spiritually, “I’d like to think so…”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

The two second-most evil beings in Equestria laughed together. They were all they had now.

“I don’t suppose you play chess?” Tirek asked, hopefully, “I admit, playing with the little Tartarus-spawn did wonders to pass the time…”

Chrysalis snorted, “No. I never did care for such a… simple game. Changeling strategy and tactics leaves such things looking like foal’s play.”

“Oh… alright,” he sighed.

After a moment… or a minute… could have been a month… Chrysalis turned back towards the centaur and asked, “Uh… Tirek?”

“Yes?”

“… What’s my name again?”

Tirek paused. “Starlight Glimmer, just like last time. Why do you ask?”

“Oh… really? Huh… I could have sworn I’d been screaming that name for a while…”

“Clearly,” Tirek managed to hide his glee, “You either have a lot of issues to work through, or you’ve been trying to remind yourself a lot these past few decades.”

“Right, yes!” Starlight laughed, “Ha, that makes sense. Thank you, Lord Tirek.”

“Any time, Glimglam…”

---

The Royal Palace at Canterlot was far older than most gave it credit for, having been built upon constantly for over one-thousand years, since even before Celestia had made it the seat of her government following her sister’s Abeyance. In recent years, this construction had only increased in scope, speed, and depth, as the crystal caverns beneath the city were slowly repurposed by the Princess of Friendship into a veritable labyrinth of vaults, halls, and repositories for an indescribable number of purposes.

One such room, which lay directly beneath the Princess’s original tower-home on the palace grounds, give or take a few hundred feet of stone, marble, crystal, and steel, was currently in use as an Arcane Laboratory. The stone room was deeply carved with runes and symbols of magical power, roaring with an inner, multihued mystical light, which swam across the room in dazzling displays.

At the heart of the room, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her Archmage, Celeste Lulamoon, stood before a swirling mass of light, which resembled nothing so much as a Sonic Rainboom bound into a tiny, shivering sphere. The light, only recently bloomed into being, was already receding into nothingness after a few minutes of observation.

As the Rainboom vanished, so did the light flowing from the runes and carvings. In their place, a series of simple, battery-operated motion lights flickered to life.

Electric lights, Twilight noted with satisfaction. Got to thank Sunset sometime for the idea. Now I don’t have to worry about magical lights contaminating the experiments down here!

And what an experiment. Twilight’s nose filled with the smell of burnt ozone like nothing else she’d ever experienced, and her ears rang with a dull throb after the overwhelming magical explosions she’d sat through. If she were truly alone, and not within mocking distance of her former pupil (who still held the record for that particular feat), she might have even clapped her hooves excitably.

Celeste Lulamoon stood beside the Princess and dutifully took notes with quill and paper held in her magical aura. She was a near-duplicate of her mother, especially in the eyes, though with the coat and mane of her father. The Princess had always hoped that she would take after Starswirl; studious, diligent, and wise.

Instead…

“Are we done yet? I think my horn’s about to fall off,” the Princess’s former protégé whined as she used to when told that, yes, she had to go to bed instead of playing with a new toy or spell.

Twilight sighed, and gave the unicorn a frown that had far less anger behind it than she often pretended to have. Trixie’s foal or not, Celeste was like another niece to her. Not that the Princess would admit it to either Lulamoon’s face. “One success does not a successful experiment make, my lazy apprentice…”

“Lazy and Powerful,” Celeste admonished, though her cheer was somewhat short-lived, as she recalled that her breakfast was currently a cold plate of eggs and toast pushed to the side of the room. “But in any case, while one success is nothing, you’ve now got… I lost count. Are we up to seventeen successful tests?”

“Eighteen,” Twilight shook her head, “But that’s not the point. I need to make certain that this will work. I won’t get a second chance.”

Technically, you’ve got Five chances, Celeste wanted to say… but she’d inherited her father’s tact.

So, instead, she kept to a polite tone while saying, “I know this is important to you, Princess. But… maybe you can just take the win? We know now that you weren’t the only one to get doused in raw Friendship Magic way back when you ascended.”

The Princess shuffled uneasily. She seemed to be fighting a losing battle, internally. Her anxiety was putting up a stiff defense against her unbridled joy. No winners so far, though there was the hint of a smile on her face now.

“It’ll still be up to them when they…” deep breath, “… when they expire.”

“Ooh!” Celeste cast a reheating spell on her eggs and toast while rolling her eyes dramatically, “Expire! Was that your word of the day?”

“Celeste…” Twilight frowned again, this time more genuinely.

The archmage relented, throwing her emerald wizard hat and cloak on. It didn’t do to not be properly dressed, even for a meagre breakfast in between tests.

“Why wouldn’t they say yes?” she asked through a full muzzle of food, “I mean… immortality sounds awesome…”

Twilight, magically hefting a sandwich to her mouth from her saddlebag left against the wall, chuckled, “Oh, I know. It’s got a lot of perks, let me tell you. I don’t have to worry about wrinkles, or arthritis, or anything like that. But…”

Her eyes changed, as though they shifted their focus from her late-breakfast to some indescribable thing out on the invisible horizon. Celeste had gotten good at noticing when her mentor’s melancholy was acting up. And she’d learned to just let it take its course.

“Being alone is absolutely a curse. So, if even one of my friends takes the chance to join me… I’d like to think they would.

“But,” she contemplated the circle of runes that had previous been the epicenter of her experiment, “Applejack will probably want to see her parents and Granny again. Dash won’t stay if Applejack goes. Pinkie would prefer all of us, or none of us do it, probably so she can throw a bigger party… I suppose after Time ends…”

“Fluttershy has Discord,” Celeste nodded along, then continued in a posh accent that sounded incredibly familiar, “And, darling, Rarity would never be so gauche as to take immortality when all her other friends, save for you… darling, didn’t. Darling.”

“That’s one too many ‘darlings’.”

“I thought the accent was good,” Celeste giggled like a school filly, “Anyway… ready for test nineteen…?”

But further hypothesizing and testing would have to wait, as much as the fate of Twilight’s friends might have hung in the balance. For all of a sudden, a dull, sonorous toll rang out through the halls and chambers of the underground. The warped bell-like warning shook the dust from shelves, and set one of Celeste’s fillings to rattle in her jaw.

“What?” the mystical unicorn looked dumbfounded, her mane whipping back and forth with her head as she seemed to be trying to locate the source of the bell in the room itself, “That… that can’t be…?”

“It’s the Cloister Bell,” Princess Twilight intoned, her voice emotionless as the bell.

“The Cloister Bell!?” Celeste’s eyes widened considerably, her mouth agape, “But… but that means…”

The Princess fixed her student with a glare, not aimed at her necessarily, but at the thought of what was to come. She gathered herself, and for a moment appeared as stern, as uncompromising, and as… well, as Divine as Celeste always truly, secretly in the back of her own mind saw the Princess.

The archmage had seen thunderstorms pause before that look.

Twilight Sparkle said, in a low, tense voice, “Someone has broken into the Starlight Vault.”

The room’s door flew open at that moment, as Spike the Dragon, Royal Advisor, stormed in. “The Vault…!” he gasped, having clearly run a marathon to reach his friends here in the palace depths. “Guards… unconscious! Cloister…”

“Quickly, Spike,” the Princess spoke in a commanding voice as she swept past him and out of the room, Celeste in tow, “I need you to send out some letters! Get Starlight, the Princesses, the Pillars, the other mages, Gallus… everycreature on deck!”

Spike took only a moment to spin around in place and sprint back out into the halls.

“Should… should I rouse the guards? Looks like somecreature just knocked out the ones near the kitchens and secret doors…” the dragon-assistant puffed as he pulled out parchment and quill.

“Don’t be silly!” Celeste laughed, recalling just how often the Guard had never caught her or Flurry Heart back in the day, “Never send a stallion to do a mare’s job!”

---

Shade Bright and Beau Tie (Beauregard had finally settled on it) came back around one of the hedge rows towards the small clearing where the Elements of Disharmony had been, led there by a blissfully grinning Frosted Apple. She’d apparently been given some sort of magical, mental command by Grogar, but why they needed to stealthily follow the zombie away from their groups didn’t quite register…

That is, until they saw Pearl Rose, who was presently doing a perfect impression of a statue herself. The unicorn filly was stuck, all four hooves rooted to the ground, and her eyes snapped wide, wide open. She seemed to be gazing up at the…

“That’s not a good sign,” Beau stated the obvious.

Shady shook his head, “No. No, that’s not.”

“Ah brought the chillens, Master!” Frosted pranced over to the ram’s side, and continued to beam with the happiness of an order followed, a perfect contrast to his own permanent, stormy scowl.

Shady approached Ann and Cheese, who were pre-wincing in anticipation for Pearl’s exact reaction to everything… once she was done staring gobsmacked at the statue itself. Flawless and Dib sat nearby as well, and pointed out Beau and Shady’s approach to Moon, who quickly ran to meet them.

Moon gave the two latecomers a quick and dirty rundown of the events.

“Ann went crazy over Cutie Marks, big surprise there,” he began, rolling his eyes at the memory, “and she decided to turn the Cozy statue into a real pegasus filly.”

“Why…?” Beau frowned.

“That’s what I said!” Moon ground one hoof into the grass beneath him for punctuation, “Then… well, suffice to say, it looks like somecreature accidentally moved the real statue out here for some reason, labeled it a replica so’s not to scare anycreature…”

Shady’s mouth dried up instantly. He blinked, and tried to ask the obvious. “So… Ann brought back the…”

“The original Cozy Glow, yeah,” Moon sighed. “There might have been words shared over that. Angry words. Lots of yelling, actually,” he stole a glance towards Cheese that neither Beau nor Shady missed.

“Is Ann alright?” Shady looked over to the Ponequus, “I can’t imagine realizing what happened is going well for her right now.”

“She’s…” Moon frowned and waved one hoof in the air in a ‘so-so’ manner, “She’s okay. I think we’re all just waiting to see how Pearl handles the news.”

And, as if on cue, there was a loud gasp from the unicorn filly. All gathered slowly around as she took several deep breaths through her nose and out her mouth. She closed her eyes, the first time since seeing the statue and listening to Moon’s summary from before.

Pearl stopped, finally, and turned towards Ann and Cheese, who flinched under her eerily placid gaze.

“Peawl…” Ann began an apology already worked out in her mind, but paused herself when Pearl raised a hoof for silence.

Pearl said, “Alright. What is the plan?”

Everycreature besides the zombie and Grogar’s eyes bulged for a moment. Then, upon realizing that Pearl was, in fact, not about to explode from a potent combination of fury, panic, and recriminations, Cheese took it upon himself to answer the resulting silence.

“Plan?”

“Yes, dear. Plan.” Pearl slowly spun around, to make sure all her friends were paying attention. “Something has clearly gone horribly wrong, and it must be set right,” her eyes paused briefly as she took in the two adults in the meeting, “But to do this, we must decide exactly what is to be done.”

After a few, stunned seconds, Moon stepped forward.

“Alright,” he said, wings nervously flexing at his sides, “Just gonna throw out the craziest idea first…”

Ann gasped, and her face became a pool of resplendent joy.

“… but maybe, we call in the grownups, and let them handle it.”

Ann pouted. “Aw…”

Shady nodded, “That does seem to be the most… responsible solution, if nothing else.”

There was a general murmur of agreement between the foals. That did seem to be the most responsible thing they could do right now.

Ann, however, was having none of it. She took her own step forward, and looked Moon in the eye as she said, “No. We can’t just get ouw pawents this time.”

“Why the heck not?” Moon barked, his voice taking on an edge of hysterics as his eyes narrowed in Ann’s direction.

She paused a moment, seeming to gather herself, before speaking. “This was ouw… no, my mistake. I got so caught up in wanting my Cutie Mawk that I ignowed all the wawning signs and did something stupid…”

“Harsh, but fair,” Dib whispered to a nodding Flawless.

Ann continued, “So, since I was the one who let Cozy Glow go, it’s my wesponsibility to get her back.”

Moon sputtered, but no coherent words came out of him. Instead, Shady, after glancing worryingly at his bat-friend, adjusted his glasses and stepped a little closer to Ann.

“But why?” he asked, frowning, “I mean… our folks are all a lot better suited to this saving the day stuff, right? I bet Discord could snap his talons and…”

“And then…” Ann interrupted, her voice pitching slightly, “Then I’ll have to admit what happened, and I’m gonna end up gwounded, only pewmanently! Do you want me to get banished to the moon? Or impwisoned… on the moon!?”

“Yeah, I can see it,” Cheese scratched his chin thoughtfully, “Your dad’s pretty intense…”

Ann rolled her eyes, “Nah, he’s okay. It’s my Mom I’m wowwied about…”

“No!” Moon finally figured out how his mouth worked again, “This is dumb! Just own up to it! We are not equipped to deal with this… aren’t we?”

Ann hopped up, and with a snakelike motion her friends were used to seeing, she drifted over to Moon and placed a hoof on his shoulder.

“See,” she said, staring him in the eyes through his sunglasses, “That’s my othew point! We’we the Cutie Mawk Cwusadews!” She jabbed her free hoof triumphantly into the air, “We awe the best gwoup to handle this pwoblem!”

“How do you figure that?” Flawless tilted her head questioningly, and not without a skeptical frown on her face. “We’re just nine foals, up against one of the Terrible Trio! The baddest filly to ever try and destroy Equestria. How exactly are we supposed to deal with this?”

Ann was instantly across the little circle formed by their group, wings and forelegs outstretched, “We’we not just foals! You and Peawl are the best Buckball playews awound! You’we fastew and stwongew than any other pony I know.”

Cheese squinted his eyes and silently thought about his Mom and Aunt Applejack.

But Ann wasn’t reading minds at just this moment, and so when Flawless allowed the briefest smirk to cross her features, the Ponequus swiveled around to Goldie.

“Goldie!” Ann pointed with a wingtip, “You’we not just cwazy big and stwong, but you’we also weally smawt, and you can see in the dawk!”

The griffon’s head spun clean around to hide her sudden blush, “W-well, I g-guess I can see pretty well, all things considered…”

“Beauregard!” Ann spun back around.

“Ah, it’s Beau Tie…” the oversized blue colt coughed.

Her smile didn’t falter for an instant, “Beau Tie! You’we magic may not be subtle, but I saw how you used it. You’ve got powew in you! Magic powew that could knock the socks off anothew unicown twice youw age!”

“Huh… yeah,” Beau grinned, beaming over towards Flawless, “I guess I am pretty cool.”

She spun to Dib next.

“Dib, you’we a gweat flyer!” the smile she sent the changeling’s way was clearly infectious, as his face split into a wide grin instantly, “And some of the twansf… tw… um, fowms I’ve seen you tuwn into awe weally impwessive! Cwazy good!”

The changeling lifted his head up, and sniffed with obvious pride.

Ann kept spinning around, pointing to Shady and Moon next. “Shady’s the smawtest pony I know, especially when it comes to knowing lots of things. You basically know evewything thewe is to know about stuff!”

“I mean,” Shady worked his muzzle a bit, thinking through his next words before allowing a little smile to creep up on him. “I’ve been practicing a little magic too. Mostly illusions…”

“That’s gweat!” Ann cried, “That’s even bettew! And Moon!”

The batpony, so far scowling at everything going on around him that didn’t involve seeking out the nearest sensible authority figures, perked his ears up as Ann spoke.

“You awe the wisest pony I’ve evew met,” she said in a calmer tone, her eyes set into a serious expression, “I know I sometimes… go a little cwazy, but you’we always the one I listen to instead of my big dumb bwain.”

“Your bwa… I mean, brain is not dumb, Ann. You just need to use it more.”

“And I’ll twy,” she pleaded, a twinge of hurt in her expression that made Moon’s heart hurt just a little, “I weally will twy! Because… because I wespect what you say too much not to.”

Well, that… that…

Moon couldn’t quite follow that up with anything. He still thought this was a stupid, terrible, idiotic, suicidal idea… but for a moment there, he didn’t care. And that worried him.

In the spare moment that followed, Ann turned back towards her very first friend. And Cheese, not a cynical drop in his entire being, just smiled back.

Nothing needed to be said.

So, Ann went for the kill.

“We awe the Cutie Mawk Cwusadews!” she stamped a hoof once more, “Cozy is just a foal, like us! And she’s cleawly not listening to what hew Mawk is telling hew! Othewwise, she’d pwobably be a lot nicew, wight?”

Another murmur of agreement went around the circle, with only Moon holding out this time.

Ann stood on her hind legs and pointed up into the sky as she proclaimed, “As the CMC, it is ouw duty to help fillies and colts with theiw Cutie Mawk pwoblems. How can we evew live up to ouw Foundews if we let this chance slide!?”

“Yeah!” Cheese shouted, “If we work together, who can stop us?”

Pearl’s warry expression shifted as she considered Ann’s words. She, like Moon and Flawless, still doubted this… plan, if one could call it that… but slowly, the logic of it all began to make a bit more sense.

“I suppose we avoided our parents with the Buckball rivalry,” she said more to herself than anycreature else, “So… we have done this on our own before…”

Silence fell on the group. Each creature looked about, wondering for a moment if one of them would try to come up with another reason they should not consider doing this… and finding that nocreature did.

Ann smiled, triumphant. “Cutie Mawk Cwusaders?”

It took only another moment before their hesitation melted away. Each stepped forward, and set one hoof… or in Goldie’s case, claw… into the center, and as one let out a cheer.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Forever!”

“Um…” Dib scratched his head, “So, before we start… did anyone happen to see where Cozy Glow went?”

Another long, quiet moment passed, this time with embarrassed blushes on every face. Nocreature could quite bear to look one another in the eyes for several seconds.

That was, until Grogar said, “I did.”

Ann looked to her grandfather with a startled expression, “Weally? You did?”

“Yes,” the ram shrugged, “When she fled here, I perceived her to enter the local galley, or kitchen, as you might call it. She seemed quite eager to escape your notice, which was not difficult.”

“Gweat!” Ann cried, “We have a lead!”

Moon, however, raised his head to try and look Grogar in the eye, “Why didn’t you stop her?”

Ann waved down her friend, “Oh, Moon! He didn’t know it was the weal Cozy…”

“I did, actually,” he said.

Ann’s casual smile remained on her face, even as it faded from her eyes. “What?”

“I said,” Grogar’s voice edged into annoyance, “that I knew it was the real Cozy.”

“Since when!?” Cheese shouted, a small vein slightly bulging on the side of his neck.

The Dread Ram hardly noticed. “Since I first laid eyes upon the statue. I could sense the dark energies within, and soon deduced that the statue must have been placed here in error.”

“Gwampa…” Ann’s face twitched and shifted through a couple of emotions rapidly, before settling on sorrow and heartache, “Why? Why would you let me do that!? You knew I was about to unleash unspeakable evil…”

She paused.

Then, she scowled. “Gwampa… you did it on puwpose…”

The Dark Lord betrayed nothing. “And?”

Ann’s face slowly darkened as a hot flash of rage welled up within her chest. She could feel that deep, deep well of anger brimming and boiling within her as the thought settled in.

Grogar clearly didn’t notice this either.

“I wanted to test you, my child,” he said without a trace of regret, “Unleashing an evil upon Equestria was little more than a happy accident. I simply wished to see you face a challenge.

“But I was sorely disappointed,” Grogar shook his head sadly, taking little note of Ann’s deepening scowl, “I believed you would realize the error you’d made and stop Cozy. There was an outside chance, I thought, that you’d join her… but I suppose the chances were higher you’d try and convert her to the…” he spat, “the magic of friendship.”

Smoke began to billow off of Ann’s mane, but Grogar continued.

“Instead, I saw you let go of all sense! You let your petty desire for a pathetic Cutie Mark cloud your judgement! You are every bit like your father, unable to put aside your personal needs and vices in order to do what must be done. And now, all you hold dear will… suffer…”

He slowed down as he spoke, eyes slowly widening as he took in Ann’s shimmering form. As he met her eyes with his own, Grogar could hear, just faintly at the edge of hearing, his grandfoal’s unconscious thoughts. Or, perhaps thought would be more accurate. There was only one word blaring across her mindscape.

Hate

The feeling was so… visceral. Grogar could actually taste it. And it was a bitter flavor indeed.

“Grogar…” she uttered, low and full of that primal fury no foal could truly muster.

But nothing else came. Not from Ann. For, just as she was about to let loose the dam of her rage, there was a brilliant flash of light just behind where she stood, and a wave of heat scorched the grass all around the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“HOW COULD YOU!?”

A roaring, Nirik-shaped inferno howled at Grogar from the spot where once Shady stood. The creature, burning with a hot blue flame, stalked past his friends towards the old goat himself, blackening the grass beneath him.

It was true, the old saying. You could starve one fire by lighting another. Shady’s wrath, in full, blazing display, instantly sucked the life out of Ann’s own rage, leaving her, and everycreature else, nearly catatonic as he approached Grogar.

“She’s your grandfoal, for Celestia’s sake!”

“D-do not presume to lecture me, Worm!” Grogar snarled back, though there was an instant, almost unnoticed, of hesitation.

But Shady was resolute. “She’s your family! And you… you did all this to TEST her?”

Grogar steadied himself, “I intended to forge her into something stronger. Weakness…”

Shady roared again, his face pulling to the side… and unleashing a torrent of flame into The Elements of Disharmony statue, blackening the visage of Queen Chrysalis Starlight Glimmer until it better resembled her appearance in real life.

Had Dib not been left shivering from Shady’s initial outburst, as all of their friends presently were, that alone would have sent the Changeling into a panicky fit.

But the Nirik returned his rage to Ann’s grandfather.

“Family is not a test!” he cried, “It’s not a transaction, or an agreement! It’s a bond, made in love and duty and trust! And… and you violated that trust!”

Grogar said nothing. The silence was damning.

As Shady took a deep breath, prepared to continue, there was a sudden hiss. A bit of his mane flashed. And then, another hiss, and the tip of one ear flickered. And then, another hiss, and another, and another.

Shade’s whole body began to sputter as the rain came down. But even as his Nirik form dissipated, and he appeared Kirin once more, the metal rim of his glasses burned white-hot, a glaring reminder of the anger still burning within him.

His glaring eyes were the last thing to smolder and fade.

And Grogar, the Dread Ram himself, said nothing.

Shady trotted around him, and made a beeline for the kitchens, highlighted by simple signs placed elegantly and effectively across the palace grounds. Each of the CMC members followed in stunned silence.

Stunned, but in agreement. Flawless, Pearl, Beau, and Dib left first, not willing to remain within sight of the ram. Goldie hesitated, but swiftly seemed to prefer the terror that was following Shady to the horror that was remaining near Grogar.

Moon and Cheese followed up the rear, each giving Ann a soft, saddened glance. In their own, unique ways, each knew precisely how a beloved parent or loved one could hurt them, at least unintentionally.

“Remind me,” Moon whispered to Cheese, “Never cross Shady.”

Cheese nodded, “Yeah… same…”

The last to leave the garden was Ann herself.

The raw, pulsing anger had faded from her eyes. But the pain, and the hurt, were still evident, even to Grogar, who hardly noticed such things.

“Ann…”

“We’ll talk,” Ann said, emotionless, “But latew.”

She followed her friends out of the garden. She never looked back.

Left alone, save for the undead and completely contented Frosted Apple, Grogar allowed the rain to fall upon him uninterrupted. And as his mane and coat matted, and the rain plinked off his horns and little bells in a cavalcade of sour and flat notes, he closed his eyes to the world, and thought.

He thought of Discord.

“I did it again…”

Author's Note:

*If you just heard a kazoo, congrats! You've got a reading buddy!

---

** "Oooh," Screwball chews excitably on your popcorn, "That's ominous..."

Comments

[truenorth14]

Ooh, it looks like Grogar has messed up, perhaps he can fix his mistake?

[SamuelK28]

10070121
Finally gets further into the paragraph, well I was right, this is such a good story.

[SamuelK28]

Grogar you idiot. A really great story so far and love the AppleDash, really Dash he's the spirit of chaos did you really think he'd make the one of you you wanted pregnant? Love the detail and comedy in this story, it really is like season 10! My only dislike being the whole Trixie/Starswirl thing, which to me seems almost like a grandfather fucking a 20 something year old, nasty. Otherwise love it and maybe one day I'll have to get an Anarchy plush for the collection.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

10075505

My only dislike being the whole Trixie/Starswirl thing,

Eh... I enjoyed the original prank on Twilight too much not to keep it.

Plus, age is just a number...

I'll have to get an Anarchy plush for the collection.

i.pinimg.com/474x/f6/f2/8f/f6f28fe98bb33343eff2fbdf2a4e6e47.jpg

[SamuelK28]

10077653
Starswirl and Trixie now makes total sense after reading that second story. And it was totally something Trixie would do.

[ComradeCheese]

That was good :) I really liked the extra bits too like screwball appearing out of nowhere and Christalis changing her name XD

[Christinewho]

Ann slammed her head into the base of the statue, as hard as she could manage, yet not nearly hard enough to punish her stupid brain for its stupid idea. And from that single, clean hit, a crack formed.

Also, why on the Friendship summit. (probably spelled/spelt the last word wrong)

[Christinewho]

But further hypothesizing and testing would have to wait, as much as the fate of Twilight’s friends might have hung in the balance. For all of a sudden, a dull, sonorous toll rang out through the halls and chambers of the underground . The warped bell-like warning shook the dust from shelves, and set one of Celeste’s fillings to rattle in her jaw.

Watched the video and now I love it a lot more. I am a Doctor who fan myself.