• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
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PresentPerfect


Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect

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Now that Princess Twilight Sparkle's rule of Equestria has settled into a routine, she finds she has more time for personal things, things that otherwise might have passed her by in that initial rush of learning on the job.

Things like pondering the newest statue in the Royal Canterlot Gardens.


"...bizarrely named....It’s not too unsettling, but it tries....It’s good enough..." -xTSGx

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 79 )

This is the third time that particular image has been used as cover art :/

I don't get it. The end at least. Discord blowing his top at least.

Nice twist, though it does beg the question of what exactly Cozy Glow is.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9891985
Go figure. I wasn't going for originality, just focus on the subject. :B

9891989
It sure does!

This feels like it needs to be resolved. It's a rather unsatisfying ending to an otherwise well-written fic.

"If Cozy Glow is not a pony, despite her appearance, then what is she?" :twilightoops:

What's with the title? Is Cozy Glow secretly OJ Simpson or something?

9891998
I second this, I was expecting some philosophy from Discord. This read like the first half of a good story.

Whenever I hear that title, I think of OJ Simpson's book about how he totally didn't murder his wife, but if he did, here's how he would do it.

I've read it. It's chilling.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9892002
No, Discord is. :B

9892009
Intentional!

9892003
Agreed. You wouldn't even need to say what she was, but at least go down the line of thought presented.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9892017
I am following Big Jim's example, and leaving it for the fans to decide. :V

So there's this Japanese ghost story that comes to mind. A samurai is walking through the streets of town at night when all of a sudden he is accosted by a naked man with long hair that completely covers his face. The naked man does this jig in front of the samurai, and the samurai is offended. He places his hand on his sword's hilt and demands that the naked man get out of his sight and show proper respect for the samurai. In response, the naked man turns around, bends over, and there's an eye where his asshole should be.

...that's it. The story ends there.

Okay, so Cozy isn't a pony. Then...what is she? Because there is literally nothing in the show to suggest that she isn't a pony.

... still can't get over how Cozy Glow is just... floating...

9892019
On, satire! Oh hell yes I can get behind satire. Sorry, given the past week I didn’t recognize it. That’s on me.

What the fuck is this comment section.

I feel like you, or someone, needs to take this fic and use it as the basis to a fullfledge story.

Comment posted by AkumaKami64 deleted Oct 19th, 2019
PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9892046
I think the end of her tail might be touching Tirek's shoulder, but...

Yeah, that really bothers me, too. D:

9892064
Nah, I'm just being a lazy jerk. :B

9892097
I am very okay with someone other than me doing this. XD

9892107
Extremely tempted. I actually do have a few ideas that would fit this. And it does say months, so.....I'll get back to you on this.

So Cozy Glow is Pony Young Hannibal Lecter? Or Michael Myers?

9892028

Sounds like a Justice3442 story.

9892028
Not going to start something, but I always felt there was something off the way Cozy said "You ponies" in School Raze. I know ponies is used in place of people, but even taken that into account, either way, it sounds kind of like she doesn't consider herself a pony in some fashion.

Or it was simply never about morals on his part; statues aren't fun, they're not chaotic, and he was bitter at the time, on account of it happening to him. Similar reason as to why I think death never was his first resort.

And if at that point one thinks he'd give the slightest fuck about them being fun, chaotic by that point, those three? They'd be wrong.

This does raise an intriguing question though...

9892019
We already knew this was a cop-out before Mr. Miller was a twinkle in his papa's eye.

9892019
Yeah, I get that, but you could add more. Give us a little more to fill like some of the mystery without giving us too much. Maybe have Discord give some vague hints about what she might be, and Twilight's reaction to that as she tries to figure it out, too. As sit is, Discord just shows up for no reason, says Cozy isn't a pony, then leaves. It isn't particularly interesting.

9892197
She could be a demon filly. Her mama's gonna come for her, but wants her to learn a lesson so she'll wait a week.

Discord isn't a pony, either. In context, it is obvious that the pony-ness of the individual is less important that the not turning into stone part.
The closest thing to a character-based explanation there can be is that Discord wanted to keep them on ice for much later shenanigans, since Cozy would, presumably, grow old and die in Tartarus while this way she can be broken out centuries or millennia later and be no worse for ware.

9891986
I thought it was just me; I still don't quite get the ending and I've gone back and reread it a bunch of times. I must be stupid because I don't understand why is Discord pointed at Cozy Glow and telling Twilight that the statue of said filly isn't really Cozy. Little help?

The idea that Cozy Glow isn't a pony is something that was always in the back of my head. There's this one line in School Raze, Part 1 where she says, "You ponies got it all wrong. Friendship is power!" or something to that effect. The fact that she went out of her way to refer to "ponies" as something other than herself made me feel like she'd eventually be revealed to be some non-pony thing disguised as a pony. But that never happened, despite some very minor evidence pointing to that possibility—admittedly much more evidence pointing to her actually just being a pony, though. Still an interesting idea to play around with!

Now I'm trying to figure out if Discord was being litteral, or more along the lines of: Cozy Glow went against everything it means to be a pony!

9892253
I actually made a oneshot about Cozy Glow being a pony-homunculus. Going to expanded that into a broader universe one day.

9892046
I always figured that her tail was attached to Tirek's shoulder.

9892046
I feel like Chrysalis should't be standing either, she only has one hoof connecting her to the ground

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9892217
I literally have none. I kind of wish I did, it's just not a rabbit hole I've ever gone down. This was just an attempt to connect dots in a way that made sense. :B

Well... This was interesting, but ultimately unsatisfying. :ajsleepy:

Actually a nice turnabout on the current bombardment of "Why weren't you nicer to Cozy Glow:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:" fics. This could make an effective horror concept as Twilight realizes exactly what beast is contained within... then remembers Discord escaped, and wonders how safe Equestria really is.

Maybe she's someone that figured out or stumbled through the mirror portal. So he's technically right, she wasn't a pony to begin with.

9892009
I've seen it suggested that he was "merely" an accomplice to the actual murderer, in ways other than taking all the blame without any legal consequences which is already plenty as far as said murderer is concerned. So he'd still know everything he needed to know to write that book, while also not technically lying.

I guess in case of really grave offences they'd revoke your pony citizenship?

It's hard to incorporate Discord's visual antics into a story, but you did a great job here!

And, hey... who left this stuff next to that "statue?" A pile of sledgehammers and a sign reading "FREE: TAKE ONE" is just mean-spirited. :trollestia:

9892299
Maybe she rejected her equinity.

9892346
I'd have to look at that scene again, but it sounds like it could be a case of pony pronoun use. The only reason Cozy Glow is a villain is because they were tired of evil unicorns. Speaking to her non-poniness it does strike me that she fits the idea of traditional changelings in myth; a fairy creature that replaces a baby and takes its place. She could be a changelings from Earth?

That sounds racist, you know. Like, turning ponies into stone is bad, but it's ok with non-ponies.

9892756
That’s what she said.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

9893338
Two outta three ain't bad? :B

9893415
I mean Discord's reply.

Though he can say whatever he wants anyway, because he's Discord.

9891989
9891999
...I figure it's the obvious. She's a monster. How many fillies have you seen try to steal the magic from all of Equestria? And as much as I like wings and Heel-Face Turns, unrepentant and irredeemable is unrepentant and irredeemable.

9892019
C A R T O O N

L O G I C

9891989

No one has any idea. Per Big Jim, neither did the show staff. They never developed her backstory or any idea what's really up with her powers. She is literally the Designated Evil Child.

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