• Member Since 18th Sep, 2018
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Comments ( 203 )

Don't fuck this up its a good start

Is this a gay story or a normal Spike x harem style ?

As of right now it’s spike x Luna

Well as long as there is no Gay BS going on im in

I like the concept i can't wait for more from you no gay shit tho

oh this is going to be interesting, i can't wait to see what happens when spike meets who ever lunar is (most likely vice principal luna but i could be wrong).

I like it hope we get the next chapter soon.

definitely a good start

This is going to be interesting.

I hope the physical meetup that eventually happens isn't too formulaic, that can get annoying. That said, the way they did it in Log Horizon was amusing, mostly because that whole thing was inverted due to the fact everyone was stuck literally in their avatars (just watch episode 1 of Log Horizon to see what I'm talking about, although you might find yourself binging episodes after; sorry not sorry when that happens).

Oh this reminds me of a anime called and you thought there was no grils online

I call dibs on first oc show up in game also great sao reference

They got dirty minds the bunch of them.

I like how aj is taking a interest in spike

good chapter i like the talk between luna and celestia, and i can't wait to see whats going to happen when luna/spike realize they are meeting each other

Unleashed the awkwardness!!!!

Part 2 is gonna be good, funny, and shocking at the same time! Getting good so far.

Nice twist there and puff haha omg I'm just imaging spike high as a kite saying * damn there goes my date

Hilarious I wonder how hes gonna react to luna telling him

First off, check for reactions to those pain killers! He's a little to far out of it.
Second, WHATTHEFU..!!! RUIN A CAST IRON SKILLET??! Sure you can royally screw one over if you don't know how to deal with them but ruin one? That would be dangerous to do on a stove, as the only plausible way I can think of is get cherry red then gouge it

Not a bad start. It's an interesting concept but the grammar needs some ironing out. For example, "Said" and "Asked" and any other verb used to state that a person is speaking, shouldn't be capitalized. You could join some of your short sentences together and the story would flow a lot better.

Liquid toast, frozen fried egg, OJ into a black solid. There is no limit to how bad food can be ruined in the universe that means no matter how strong something is, if it involves cooking then it’s free game for death.

i like way how you revealed the truth to both characters in this chapter.

From personal experience that’s about right for dopeyness due to pain killers/sedatives.

Luna's lucky that counting down to Spike's last year at CHS means she have free reign to love Spike.

Doesn't the Sparkles have a pet?

Don’t know, its not spike the dog since he’s human so I’m going with a no

So, ALL of the Bookcases were SUPPOSED to be anchored to the floor or walls.
Sure, they could have missed one but something doesn't quite feel right

And it shouldn’t but that’s later and a small sub plot

Luna is really wanting him huh.

Another 30 minutes is where that blasted alarm clock goes off for me.
Seriously, hot collage chick, one piece swimsuit, so in heat she can't think strait, about to get bred and the alarm goes off.
One dream, a blonde, another, and asian
My life sucks

Good chapter only critique being it's hard to track lunas thoughts and her talking without using a italic font or saying thought

There you go I changed it, sorry I’m not used to using it

I'm the same I forget I can use it at times but I try and if I'm to busy writing I put thought in so I remember to edit it later on

Cue the sultry music.

you need to calm down sir. I mean luna needs to calm down.

It's ok and lol man thoese innuendos was hilarious

Comment posted by Alterend deleted Nov 21st, 2019

I looked it up, 10.19 cm or4 inches long is the worlds longest tongue, it measures from the closed lips to the tip, average is about 3 inch or 8 cm Dracon Jr is 10Inch


Common men, don’t let us hanging. When the next chapter

I'm guessing they are skipping the foreplay with how much those two are impatient.

Grass is always greener, the grass is always greener, the grass is always greener, the grass is always gree.......oh who am I kidding? Wishing I was him. Go for all you can spike

You know what

NNNices 😎

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