TAD2
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Don't fuck this up its a good start
Is this a gay story or a normal Spike x harem style ?
9893460
As of right now it’s spike x Luna
9893485
Well as long as there is no Gay BS going on im in
I like the concept i can't wait for more from you no gay shit tho
oh this is going to be interesting, i can't wait to see what happens when spike meets who ever lunar is (most likely vice principal luna but i could be wrong).
I like it hope we get the next chapter soon.
definitely a good start
This is going to be interesting.
I hope the physical meetup that eventually happens isn't too formulaic, that can get annoying. That said, the way they did it in Log Horizon was amusing, mostly because that whole thing was inverted due to the fact everyone was stuck literally in their avatars (just watch episode 1 of Log Horizon to see what I'm talking about, although you might find yourself binging episodes after; sorry not sorry when that happens).
Oh this reminds me of a anime called and you thought there was no grils online
I call dibs on first oc show up in game also great sao reference
They got dirty minds the bunch of them.
I like how aj is taking a interest in spike
~.~
good chapter i like the talk between luna and celestia, and i can't wait to see whats going to happen when luna/spike realize they are meeting each other
Its gonna be funny
Unleashed the awkwardness!!!!
Part 2 is gonna be good, funny, and shocking at the same time! Getting good so far.
No sex sense yet.
YET
Hmmm
Nice twist there and puff haha omg I'm just imaging spike high as a kite saying * damn there goes my date
Hilarious I wonder how hes gonna react to luna telling him
First off, check for reactions to those pain killers! He's a little to far out of it.
Second, WHATTHEFU..!!! RUIN A CAST IRON SKILLET??! Sure you can royally screw one over if you don't know how to deal with them but ruin one? That would be dangerous to do on a stove, as the only plausible way I can think of is get cherry red then gouge it
Not a bad start. It's an interesting concept but the grammar needs some ironing out. For example, "Said" and "Asked" and any other verb used to state that a person is speaking, shouldn't be capitalized. You could join some of your short sentences together and the story would flow a lot better.
9941767
Liquid toast, frozen fried egg, OJ into a black solid. There is no limit to how bad food can be ruined in the universe that means no matter how strong something is, if it involves cooking then it’s free game for death.
i like way how you revealed the truth to both characters in this chapter.
From personal experience that’s about right for dopeyness due to pain killers/sedatives.
Luna's lucky that counting down to Spike's last year at CHS means she have free reign to love Spike.
Doesn't the Sparkles have a pet?
Don’t know, its not spike the dog since he’s human so I’m going with a no
So, ALL of the Bookcases were SUPPOSED to be anchored to the floor or walls.
Sure, they could have missed one but something doesn't quite feel right
9947355
And it shouldn’t but that’s later and a small sub plot
Luna is really wanting him huh.
Another 30 minutes is where that blasted alarm clock goes off for me.
Seriously, hot collage chick, one piece swimsuit, so in heat she can't think strait, about to get bred and the alarm goes off.
One dream, a blonde, another, and asian
My life sucks
Good chapter only critique being it's hard to track lunas thoughts and her talking without using a italic font or saying thought
9950063
There you go I changed it, sorry I’m not used to using it
9950078
I'm the same I forget I can use it at times but I try and if I'm to busy writing I put thought in so I remember to edit it later on
Cue the sultry music.
9950078
you need to calm down sir. I mean luna needs to calm down.
It's ok and lol man thoese innuendos was hilarious
9952798
I looked it up, 10.19 cm or4 inches long is the worlds longest tongue, it measures from the closed lips to the tip, average is about 3 inch or 8 cm Dracon Jr is 10Inch
Common men, don’t let us hanging. When the next chapter
I'm guessing they are skipping the foreplay with how much those two are impatient.
Grass is always greener, the grass is always greener, the grass is always greener, the grass is always gree.......oh who am I kidding? Wishing I was him. Go for all you can spike
You know what
NNNices 😎