Spike Drake: Age 18, a senior in Highschool, single, likes to play online games and music. One day he meets a player online and they grow close, so they try and meet IRL.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hilarious I wonder how hes gonna react to luna telling him
First off, check for reactions to those pain killers! He's a little to far out of it.
Second, WHATTHEFU..!!! RUIN A CAST IRON SKILLET??! Sure you can royally screw one over if you don't know how to deal with them but ruin one? That would be dangerous to do on a stove, as the only plausible way I can think of is get cherry red then gouge it
9941767
Liquid toast, frozen fried egg, OJ into a black solid. There is no limit to how bad food can be ruined in the universe that means no matter how strong something is, if it involves cooking then it’s free game for death.
i like way how you revealed the truth to both characters in this chapter.
From personal experience that’s about right for dopeyness due to pain killers/sedatives.
Luna's lucky that counting down to Spike's last year at CHS means she have free reign to love Spike.
9942007
Just about, little to clear but unless you have been though something like that (like breaking you arm twice) it’s hard to get it right.
Okay, so the writing is generally fine (it suffers from issues, but it's of higher-than-median quality), but the clichés are downright terrible.
Also, it makes little sense for Twilight to act like this, even if she knew this woman (because let's not say "girl" here) was in fact Spike's girlfriend, or something.
You just wanted to put that in there, didn't you? ;]
I will admit, I laughed really loud after imagining Celestia trying to cook and failing miserably
That "slap you, hug you" scene needs a little more reaction though. It's a cliche, yes, but give it the right tuning and you may have a Master Piece of drama and fluff in one scene.
Dang, she worse than sweetie bell.